I found Tamara's obsession with Gretchen to be eerie, sad and predicated ENTIRELY upon JEALOUSY. Despite Gretchen's unsavory actions...they had absolutely nothing to do with Tamara. If Jay called Tamara, that is between Jay, Tamara et al, and the police--if Tamara considered it harassment. Early on, Gretchen had done nothing to Tamara. Both Tamara and Vicki were jealous of Gretchen's youth, "looks", and support by a millionaire sugardaddy.
I am still amazed how few still don't see how Tamara set up both Vicki and Simon during the divorce epiphany season. Tamara TOTALLY orchestrated the bitterness betwixt her friend and husband. Tamara is smart, BUT ALSO, she is jealous, craven, manipulative, and ignorant.