janerazor

I'm sure Allison is a lovely person, and I have no gripe about how she's carried herself on a personal level on this show, but I just really think she's not a good fit here. All her dances feel like contemp/jazz routines with a vague ballroom flavor. Last season, poor Jonathan--who I think wasn't a terrible dancer--just couldn't keep up with her pace, and she did nothing to help him out. Now she has Riker, who can keep up with her pace, but honestly shouldn't. He is a great dancer, but he ends up looking like a marionette puppet going haywire with what she's got him doing. That sort of thing worked in his jazz routine, but not for his waltz.

Every season, when the cast is announced, people complain and say the stars are hardly stars and will be boring to watch. I always pooh-pooh them because someone always ends up winning me over. Usually a couple of the stars, actually. But this has been a rough season, that's for sure. Robert was adorable, so I was sorry to see him go. I don't know if the showmance was real. I sort of got the feeling from his facial expression when he was eliminated that it wasn't, like "Oh, this is done, so I should fly off in my private jet now, thanks for the dances, Kym." Rumer seemed better in her encore than when she did the piece for-reals. I didn't care for that wall dance. I mean, it was interesting and all, but it's not the kind of thing I really want to see when I tune into DWTS. I kind of hate that they seem to be going in that direction. Loved Dance Center. In fact, I found I had really missed the traditional big ol' cheesy results show. I realize that due to ratings, they can't have them every week, but a few more sprinkled in the season would be more than welcome.

Cary the Elvis impersonator did indeed seem extremely mentally ill, and it really broke my heart. Usually these hoarders come off as just controlling or hateful, but Cary...man...how is it that he doesn't have some kind of caregiver? I think his friends meant well, but their constant yelling and "tough love" was giving me anxiety!

I thought the purse was cute, but what do I know? I did think Jaclyn should have been more gracious. However, I have to give Jac her props; she's a good gift-giver. So Sean was in a relationship that resulted in a pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage just a matter of months prior to this filming? And from what he said, it didn't seem like it had been an early miscarriage. At what point did that relationship end? Had they been planning to be together with this child? When the hell did he sign up for this show? No wonder his mother had that look on her face like her son had lost his fucking mind when he told her he was getting married. And I do not buy Davina's reaction for a second. Any normal woman would have said, "Whoa, hold the phone. So what happened with you and this potential baby mama?"

Seriously, Allison is just a bad fit for this show. I thought she was just hopping and stomping throughout that paso. Riker was having a hell of a time with his frame (and, yes, I saw him almost take a total digger when he was spinning Allison), and Allison seems to have no idea how to...well, how to ballroom dance at all. I get this was Disney week and all, but I would have rather seen much less theatrics tonight. It was all so over the top and distracting. I thought it was really unfortunate and beyond rude that Erin interrupted Val when he was trying to graciously thank the makeup department and she had to bring on Minnie Mouse (which was really pretty dumb and totally fell flat). I felt terrible for Robert. I fully admit I have an unnatural crush on Team Sharkaroo, and tonight was not good. He got a step behind right away and then just couldn't recover. I still find them both adorable.

Sean's conversation about sex during the couple's massage made him appear creepy. It's one thing to talk about sex in front of the television audience. We tuned into this show and know going in that sexual issues are going to come up. It's another thing altogether to talk about sex so graphically in front of two people (the ones giving the massages) who may or may not have been comfortable with the conversation. And "Are you noisy during sex?" is a pretty graphic question. To me, his steering the conversation this way felt like a deliberate attempt at being, in a way, shocking and sexual in front of the other two women. It just felt like it was a conversation he was looking to take gratification in and he didn't care how the conversation may have felt to Davina or the other two women.

I didn't think it was fair of Davina to get upset that Sean didn't react the way she wanted him to on the sleigh ride. She was expecting Sean to know exactly what she was feeling and exactly the way to respond. But that kind of knowledge about someone isn't there (in the majority of cases) after knowing someone only a few days. And not that I'm a fan of Sean! His asking her if she was noisy during sex while they were getting the couple's massage was so hilariously inappropriate. It looked like the women giving the massages were biting the insides of their cheeks to keep from laughing. Unless the "experts" asked Jessica if she liked men who expressed their affection by being big ol' douchebags and Jessica answered, "Why, yes, nothing says 'I love you' more to me than a man disregarding my fears and insecurities," then the experts clearly failed in this pairing. OK, Jaclyn is still kind of a ball-busting bitch--and I mean that in the best way--BUT she did say some really nice things about Ryan this episode. I feel like the two of them are learning about each other in a more organic, natural way than the other two couples are. He was willing to try out swimming, and Jaclyn seemed to pick up that he wasn't afraid to put himself out there and take a risk of looking stupid or being vulnerable. That's a really attractive trait in a partner. And although I may have been reading too much into it, I felt her gushing about him being a good teacher while they were golfing was code for her saying, "I'm a little vulnerable in this situation, and you are being really nice about it, which increases my trust in you."

I found the checkerboard background super distracting too. And I just don't think Allison is a great ballroom dancer/choreographer. In watching them last night, I don't think Allison looked any better than Riker did during their routine. It was a case of "Who is the star and who is the pro?" but in a bad way. I thought Mark and Willow's routine looked great and had wonderful drama...but I didn't think that particular dance was appropriate for this show. Willow didn't stand out at all. It looked like she was just another member of a troupe doing a cool Hunger Games-based routine. I continue to appreciate Mark's creativity, but I don't want to see it take center stage over his partner. Lol, it really did come off like that! I thought her hair especially looked kind of nutso because the long layers couldn't make the full pigtails effect. Her pigtails looked crazy stumpy. And I thought it was kind of lousy that she made it sound as if she were the big star of Three's Company, more important than Joyce DeWitt or on par with John Ritter. That all said, I did find the dance to be pretty charming.

I don't think Ryan even really wanted to have sex with Jessica that night. Before the wedding ceremony, some of his jerky bro-friends were joking about the bed being the one he'll bang his future wife in (ummm, real classy, guys), and he mumbled something about needing to get to know her first. And then, much later, when he asks Jessica how she even gets out of a dress like that and she responds something about he'll have to figure it out (wink, wink), he gets this "oh, shit" look on his face, pauses a beat, and then gives a very terse, "Can't wait." I suspect deep down he would have rather waited, but I think maybe his bro background dictated that when a hot chick you just met is willing to do the horizontal mambo, you do it. Problem is, his background also probably tells him that you do not marry the hot chick you just met who is already down to clown.

That's what she said. Ha, I thought he seemed like a sweetheart and really interesting too. It was a bummer he was so totally glossed over.

I'm not really seeing what Jessica and Ryan have in common besides being two very attractive people. She seems like a very sensitive person, and he seems a little rough for someone like her. And not that I'm a prude or anything, but I think it may have been an error for them to have sex right away. I mean, let the tension build a little. And I think sex too early can give people a false sense of intimacy. Not that this whole experiment isn't already giving them a false sense of intimacy. I hope that Sean and Davina lay off the serious back story talk a little. Sort of like sex, I think that oversharing the most intimate details of your life so early can give a false sense of intimacy. And Sean's so wanting to have sex with Davina feels a little much. My God, give the girl some space to come to you. Yeah, so oddly enough, as kind of bitchy as Jaclyn is, I can see her and Ryan developing into something good...if she would just lower her guard a little. There was no reason to order at the restaurant for the both of them. What possible difference does it make to her what he has for dinner?

Gotta hand it to Rumer. She's one tough mofo. She practically knocked Val's block off with her crotch like a god-damn Rock'em Sock'em Robot. Robert continues to melt my cold, cold, cynical heart. I thought he brought some great intensity with Kym tonight. They do have crazy chemistry, and in the end, that is more fun for me to watch than technical skill without the emotion. Is Mark speaking with a sort of English accent now? Honestly, he's grown on me over the years, and most of his high-concept routines I kind of dig, but tonight was a miss for me. I was so distracted by the costumes and makeup that the dance got lost. I couldn't help but love Suzanne a little for owning a fruit hat. Aw, good on ya', girl. Edited to add: Ha, I never knew about Mark's US/UK background! That makes sense to me now.

Ryan D. didn't seem overwhelmed by Jessica when he first saw her, which worried me. She's gorgeous, no doubt about that, but she has more of a natural, sweet, kind beauty as opposed to being some glammed-up Barbie doll. I wasn't surprised that his mother seemed so taken with her. She seems to be the kind of daughter-in-law a lot of mothers would envision for their sons, not an overt sex kitten, but someone who had more of a nurturing, loving aura about her. I really hope that whatever fireworks were happening between Sean and Davina turn out to be true love at first sight. When they were having their first dance, I was afraid he was going to just go right ahead and bed her down then and there. I vote them Most Likely to Be the First to Seal the Deal. I was glad that Jaclyn found it in her heart to at least try to put up a good front. And she was sweet to the niece (but then again, who wouldn't be after learning the girl's back story?). But honestly, nothing against Jaclyn, but she's the kind of woman I would find it hard to be around for any length of time (kind of an assertive ball-buster), but I know that a lot of men gravitate toward women with really strong personalities like that.

I generally hate showmances because they usually ring so flat and false. The reason Maks and Meryl worked was because it so played to the archetypes (the Bad Boy tamed by the Ice Princess). And now this one with Robert and Kym I find myself getting drawn in to even though I know the show is effing with me. I mean, come on, the Handsome Rags to Riches Billionaire coming off of a divorce and the Gorgeous Blond Dancer who, while not "old," is certainly not at the beginning of her professional dancing career and is long past being the innocent ingenue (like Witney would be). Jeez, the whole thing just hits on so many levels. And I think he's a pretty good dancer too! He certainly has a great attitude. And I can't complain about how he looks in a tank top either.

Oh, poor Keo. There just wasn't much he could do with that model. Charlotte couldn't dance worth a lick, and her personalty wasn't much to write home about. Robert really surprised me. He was so cute and flirty in a good way. I just hope he's not one of those guys who has just one good dance and then goes downhill. I also enjoyed Michael Sam. I could see the moves he felt comfortable with and those he didn't. But he can dance, so I'm hoping that he lets himself embody the dance steps. I didn't enjoy Redfoo as much as I thought I would. That's too bad. I loved loved loved Rumer. She's gorgeous, and I thought she looked great dancing with Val. I wish she and Val would do a routine based on that dream sequence from Moonlighting where her dad is dancing to "Big Man on Mulberry Street"...but I am pretty sure that is too much to hope for.

After watching a little bit of the rehearsal stream, I cautiously have high hopes for Redfoo. Their whole discussion about the moonwalk was cool. So far, he seems to be taking it all seriously and looks excited about learning the steps and exploring all the possibilities of their choreography.

Don't forget Suzanne Somers was also in She's the Sheriff! And she made a mint hawking the Thigh Master.

The reason I'm annoyed that Derek is back is that, creative choreography or not, after watching Derek's choreography season after season, it becomes pretty clear that he is excellent at making his partners look like better dancers than they are. But as a fan of DWTS, I've seen his "trick" enough to see through it. Whenever he and his partner dance, I find myself looking for the ways he does this visual trick, and it's just not fun anymore. His partners never seem to grow during the season; he just gets better and better at hiding their shortcomings. So I'm looking forward to Michael Sams, Redfoo, and (oddly enough) that young actress, only because I think those dancers won't be engaging in any silly showmances. Gah, I hate showmances!

Stupid show, you promised me no Derek this season, but what do we have? Effing Derek. And I do wish they would lay off the Bachelor alum. At least we don't have any Real Housewives. But poor Witney. Chris Soules seems like a huge smug doofus. Otherwise, maybe Redfoo will be fun with Emma? I think as long as he brings the right amount of seriousness to the actual dance and leaves the humor for the rehearsal footage, he might be entertaining.

How those guys can breathe in those masks is beyond me. I would think it would get so hot and sweaty and gross. But the biggest WTF to me was seeing what the men thought a "sexy woman" looks like. It reminded me more of a drag queen's idea of what a woman looks like--hypersexualized, big hair, heavy makeup (and forever being the object of the camera's gaze). I also found odd their perception of what it is like for a "sexy woman" to get attention. It seemed they wanted so much not to blend in (as they felt they did as men) and instead desired the comments, the stares, the catcalls. But in reality, many (most? I'm trying not to speak for all women, of course) women would not welcome some guy (with his kids in tow!) calling out comments from across the street about how sexy he thought they were. But I did think the family who owns the company that makes the female skins was awesome. They obviously took an enormous amount of pride in their work and were so nice to their customers.

Truth be told, that "weed" dress was my least favorite of Dmitry's collection, but I'll be darned if the version on Alyssa looked better on her than it did on the model.

I liked Kellie Pickler much more on DWTS than I did when she was on AI, so I'm game for getting another AI alum on the show. Taylor Hicks got the "drunk uncle dancing at a wedding" critique, so I think he'd be a fun contestant. Sanjaya was also on a season of "Help, I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here," or whatever the name of the show was. He was upbeat, outgoing, didn't take himself too seriously. I think he'd be great for DWTS. And just to throw out a random one, maybe Jessica Sierra? She had a rough go at it post-AI; it would make for an interesting back story, at least.

I just saw the show in at Mystic Lake Casino in Minnesota. This was the first DWTS live show that I've seen, and I was very impressed. The show was a ton of fun and really made me look forward to next season. Emma was a definite highlight. She is extraordinarily talented and has miles of personality to spare. I also really enjoyed Keo. I hope he gets a better partner next time around. I would say that Val was the standout fan favorite. All he had to do was lift his little finger and all the ladies were swooning in the aisles. In fact, I'm pretty sure that after his first paso, every woman in the venue ovulated simultaneously, even the women who had gone through menopause a decade ago. The real eye opener for me was seeing up close how much skill these dancers have. It's one thing to see it on television, but it's another to see it live. They are all truly amazing. Edited to add: Oh yeah, Tony Dovolani I guess happened to be in town too, so he made an appearance in the Q&A session. In reference to how they get assigned partners, he said that they give psychological tests to the stars, and whoever fails gets assigned to Tony. And then Emma indicated that whoever fails the physical tests gets assigned to her. From where I was sitting, I could see that Tony was backstage watching a lot of the show, which I found very charming for some reason. Maybe it wasn't genuine--I don't know--but seeing the look on his face while he watched the performances was quite sweet. It was as though he really wanted to see and celebrate what all the dancers were doing.

And Chris Jericho, I always felt, got the boot from the show too early. Hopefully that won't be Randy's fate as well. I enjoyed his foxtrot, but to be fair, the foxtrot is one of those just plain charming dances that can really come off well. Time will tell. I hope he continues to improve!

Years ago on the TWOP wish list thread, I said I thought Randy Couture would be good, and I'm glad to see he did well. So far I've loved Tommy and Lea and Jonathan (I am a sucker for his back story too). I couldn't stand Lolo; I thought her attitude sucked. I did like Keo though. I do hope they give him a better partner the next time around.