NinjaPenguins

Victor gets one over on Jack? Hot damn! God, it's been what, five minutes since the last time? 'Fess up, people. Who forgot to give karma Victor's address? How gross to have a cheap quickie facilitated by Kelly and Victor and a roofie. I hope Ashley is ready to pull some all-nighters in her lab; she needs to develop an ultra-powerful soap capable of disinfecting Jack. Nothing can wash Victor's cooties off of his soul, sadly. Fen strikes me as a little disturbed.

If Rick wants to go scorched earth on people, be my guest. I just thought he might get his revenge or sling zingers above an eighth grade level. What's next? Shooting spitballs at Ridge or leaving flaming dog poo on Wyatt's step? Maybe he and Maya could head to the local mall and point and laugh at the peons. Why have Rick regress like this? I don't care how annoying Ivy and Aly are; no one deserves to be treated like that. I guess instead of a nuanced look at Rick's anger and mining that history, we're going to get Mean Girls 2: Forrester Fuckery. Terrible, bizarre writing.

Brooke needs to check into the Nikki Newman School of Entertaining Drunkeness. Katie's sticking it to her, isn't she? I'm not sure I can keep watching Rick and Maya act the way they do. I'd rather watch Steffy montages. I literally get hives watching Rick act like a juvenile tyrant; I only wish that his behavior was exaggerated and cartoonish and had no counterpart in the real world. His crack about the stupid tree was absolutely vile, and both Ivy and Aly should walk. Liam should give up his dumb ass plan and set Wyatt free. Let FC drown in a pool of Rick's hubris. I know that the show is setting up Rick and Maya for some epic fall, but I don't need a build-up that has me reaching for a barf bag. I would, however, watch a sitcom revolving around the Spencer brothers. Chicken and Waffles would be gold, Jerry, gold.

Geez, Brooke. There are undoubtedly thousands of people who spend Valentine's Day alone, and I bet a not insignificant portion of them are fine with it. Men are people, not oxygen. You can live without them. Which brings me to Steffy, that pathetic, desperate, grasping little toad. Her connection with Liam was soooo deep and meaningful that a vapid vessel of virtue could turn his head at any time. Whatever. Too bad that Ivy didn't bring her fucks to give to the office that night. I just have a love/hate relationship with Bill. He's no better than the chuckleheads who demanded Rick and Caroline stay together. Dude, if you want to bang Steffy, own it and stop trying to accomplish it vicariously through Liam. What the hell with all the parents on this show trying to force their kids into relationships they don't want? Oh yay, the hundreth alcoholism storyline on B&B, and it's over not having a man to boot. It's fresh and modern!

Rick says he cares about Maya, but then he wants to inflict Steffy on her as a "friend." Steffy is not someone who makes a good friend to a woman, any woman, if that makes sense. Rick, if you have to ask people flat out to kiss your ass, your ass isn't worth kissing. I'm glad Liam was honest with Ivy about Steffy's pathetic declarations of enduring love. I like that he quickly said he was over that drama. Brooke, please don't sniff around Deacon. Instead, use this time to reflect on ways to help your son that don't include reuniting with his archenemy. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and feel sorry for Rick. You and Eric have really let him down.

So I missed the show yesterday, but I see references to Rick telling Wyatt to get on his knees and beg. Wyatt didn't actually do that, right? When is the refreshing new direction for the Brooke character supposed to start? From what I read here, it's the same tired, played out nonsense for her.

My favorite line: “I refuse to be anyone’s victim again.” Okay, but stay on your side of the driveway. Victor could really contribute something to Genoa City by acting as the town speed bump.

I hate not being able to quote on my iPad. I don't think Rick and Maya are evil. I think JY can play Rick as a magnificent bastard, but I don't want to see an immature bastard. Going from a CEO coup to messing with Aly is just lame. I know Maya, like everyone on the show, can be a jerk, but I don't recall her busting out this mean girl shit before. If I am wrong, someone please correct me! What was great about this whole storyline, at least to me, was that you could potentially see everyone's side or root for more than one person. I dislike Rick's actions, but I want him to get help. When he pulls shit like the ice cream stunt, I want Aly's foot to help itself to his ass. I could have taken one show of painting passion. It would be a couple of hot scenes and then we'd move on to the next beat. I wonder if the writers see something working with some fans and decide they'd better drive it into the ground. I imagine there were fans of the initial Hope, Waffle, and Steffy triangle and suddenly it was eating the show like Pac-Man in a pellet factory. Okay, what I got from some of Steffy's and Liam's dialogue is that Steffy flew in knowing Liam was dating Ivy? Is that correct? If so, what did she think would happen? That Liam would drop Ivy like a hot potato after one cha cha cha? And how about that modern writing, huh? Wimmins will give up power because wuv. I hate Steffy and I think that shit is lame.

Steffy is leaving now, right? And she'll be taking those dull montages with her when she fucks off? Rick's and Maya's childish stunt with the ice cream...is this for real? Did I really see that? I don't care if Ally was gossipy or didn't support his ass enough or pestered him about her shoe line; that was petty, spiteful juvenile douchebaggery. The giggling was ugly. I'm fine with Caroline and Ridge, and I think they can work, but I'm pretty much over the painting.

I'm starting to think Rick is better off without his family's support, considering the support he's gotten so far isn't worth a warm bucket of spit. Maya: Shoot up the office any old time, as long as it's not motivated by jealousy! I'll enable your bizarre behavior unless it's about another woman. Ha ha. Brooke: Hmmm. Clearly Ridge triggers a volcanic eruption of anger from my beloved son. Rick is clearly traumatized by the way Ridge treated me over the years. The best medicine for what ails Rick is for me to get a syringe full of sex from the man he hates. Damn I'm good! Eric: Rick has made a complete and total ass of me in front of the entire company. There's only one thing to do and that's nothing. If nobody intervenes, Rick will see that he's out of control and cease his bad behavior. Maybe Brooke and I should get together and write parenting manuals. I mean, I'm sure Taylor's gross incompetence has spoiled psychotherapy for these people, but they need to get the fuck over it and help that poor bastard. If Steffy finds it so difficult to be around Liam, her ass should have stayed in Europe.

Oh Brooke...no. She's going to use sex to put Caroline in her place? This is personal growth? As a woman, I find this kind of writing offensive. And she flirtatiously brags about this amazing plan to Deacon? So much bullshit and not enough shovels in the world to clean it up. Hey, Brooke, you know what else puts a person in their place? Words. I'm surprised Steffy didn't dry hump Wyatt's leg. I mean, it probably still has Hope's scent on it. Oh, and she'd probably shoot too if she saw her father crawling all over a younger woman? Hilarious. Isn't she such a bad ass? I don't recall her firing at Eric when he was crawling all over her mom. While I can't stand Steffy, I loathe the insulting writing for her character even more. She's ready to be CEO and kick some ass and take some names until her wimmins feelz make it toooo hard. She's going to take back the family business but she wuuubbbssss Liam so much she can't work with him (never mind that they wouldn't necessarily need to ever see each other just because they both work for the same large company). I really didn't need those Usher flashbacks. Watched the show at my mom's today, so I couldn't ff Steffy. It hurt, people.

I missed Chickenhead. Rick's mood swings are rather alarming. Would someone get this guy some help? Telling Wyatt how fast he should mourn his lost child and marriage, smarmily telling Aly to kiss his hindquarters if she wants a shoe line...ugh. JY plays it so well. I find Rick so incredibly douchey and yet I want him to get better.

So Brooke's plan to help her clearly troubled son is to 1) Cover up his actions by demanding no one call the police after he commits an armed felony 2) Push him to reunite with the wife he resents 3) Pursue Ridge, the source of Rick's fiery rage. This is almost as spectacular as having unprotected sex with your daughter's husband and birthing an insipid ego monster. I give thanks today for my DVR and the lovely little button that lets me zoom past all things Steffy. Why this character has such a high opinion of her nasty self, I have no idea. She's no better than Hope, wanting what she can't have. Instead of being a drippy energy vortex, Steffy is merely a cartoon version of a quirky bad girl. Please just let her leave soon and take her "cha cha cha" with her.

See, I thought Steffy was the poor, desperate man's Ivy. I don't wear cosmetics and don't know much about them, but it seems Steffy has too much foundation or bronzer on? My abusive, Rick-like ex-boss used to lard on the bronzer to the point where she looked like a human bowling trophy. Steffy has a similar look, and it makes the character appear older than she is. Actions speak louder than words, Brooke. Snap those fingers and prove Ridge will come running back to you. Relief, probably.

What are y'all saying? That you didn't find the witty, sexy banter between Steffy and Liam as scorching hot as infinite suns going supernova in Hell? Cause, you know, me too. What amuses me about Brooke and Eric is that they don't even suggest marriage counseling or something similar for Rick and Caroline. No, it's just stay married and everything will somehow work itself out by magic. Good plan, dipshits.

Brooke. Bye girl. Rick can't just let go of his anger. His kind of anger requires professional help, not enduring a marriage to someone he shot at. Ridge doesn't owe Brooke squat or even diddly, what happened between them belongs to both of them. Cha cha cha? Where's a piece of flaming space debris when you need it? I have to stop watching until Steffy leaves. As I recall, Brooke ran Forrester rather well, so why is Steffy calling it a dark time? Let me tell you what a dark time is; it's listening to shitty music playing over an even shittier montage.

Some people claim sarcasm doesn't come across on the internets. Those people have not savored a peachcap. Boy, Colin popping Devon's cheat balloon is just as satisfying the second time around. The show wastes TR horribly.

Usually not bullets though. Ridge and Bill strike me as perfectly sane; they're both just assholes high on testosterone. I definitely agree with this. I think Liam gave her a pass for his brother's sake, which turned out to be a huge mistake.

This bothered me too. I guess the reasons disappeared down the memory hole. People need to stop enabling Rick, full stop. Brooke should not encourage him to continue as CEO given his poor handling of the company in recent days. Also, what the what with her dismissal of Rick's target practice? He fired a gun into an occupied room, and there was no guarantee the bullets wouldn't hit someone else in the building. I can't imagine what Ridge's problem is, Brooke! Maybe the bullets whizzing past his head? Maya just stands there while he tells Ridge and Caroline that if he wanted them dead, they wouldn't be having this conversation. Does she think that anger can't be turned on her? And then we have Caroline begging Ridge not to call the cops the night before. Someone needs to slow Rick's roll, and if it's the law, so be it. Brooke, Maya, Caroline, none of you are helping.

Soap mags are saturated with non-soap related fluff about daytime actors. That's why I have useless facts knocking around in my noggin, like B&B's Brooke designs clothes and Sami from Days writes novels. I don't honestly care about the personal lives of actors, so the inclusion of filler about their beauty regimes, weddings, hobbies, or eating habits chaps my hide. I know a lot of people must enjoy it, otherwise why include it, but it's definitely there.

Do I have to? She is a bundle of annoying quirks passing as a personality. She rides motorcycles - what a rebel! Never mind that women operating motorcycles hasn't been rebellious in quite some time. Steffy is some privileged, sheltered dude's idea of what a bad girl/free spirit is, and it isn't very clever.

Okay, so I was reading CBS SID this fine afternoon and came across Pratt's bold plans for the show. I wanted to scream and smash a vase when I spotted one of the previews for Jack: ...his rivalry with Victor comes to an unexpected head! "This is the year he will bring down Jack Abbott once and for all!" promises Pratt... That's some original motherfuckin' writing! That's thinking outside the box and flipping the whole soap opera paradigm right on its pointy head. Can't wait! #creativelybankruptbullshit

Was that whole scene with the lawyer admiring the gun part of Rick's dream sequence, because that was some weird, wild stuff right there. "Nickel-plated snub nose, huh?" For a moment, I thought Rick had dropped his pants in front of his legal counsel. I am not a fan of guns in general, but watching the lawyer fondle that thing like it was a holy relic was hilarious. Aiming at that picture and telling Rick to pick a horse? I'd be picking a new lawyer, but I'm an odd duck. Agree with all those who found the Quinn scenes disappointing. It's like her breakdown never happened and she's back to the same old thoughts and behaviors that set the whole trainwreck in motion. Hope's not even on the show, and yet a remaining character is still obsessed with her. Ugh.

Was that a dream sequence or did Dead-Eye Dick just pop a cap in Ridge's amorous ass? My goodness, Liam has grown up and realized a mature relationship isn't about the whole star-crossed lovers overcoming obstacles bullshit. I could have done without Ivy gushing all over his white knighting though. I'm not really into the whole helpless damsel thing. I don't know how to put this exactly, but I feel that Rick and Maya need to remove the...parental overtones from their sex life. Doing it in the bed of Rick's father, her wearing lingerie designed by his mother...stop it, show.

Damn this is funny. Because it's true. Cane Ashby, broke ass hotel manager...that would look amazing on his business cards, perhaps next to some bloody fangs clip art.