NinjaPenguins

I think Ashley has a place on the show and ED does a very good job with the character. Unfortunately, Ashley has spent decades up Victor’s ass, so I find it difficult to root for her. The Blood Abbott Clause (catch their debut album on iTunes!) was a pretty low blow on Jack’s part, but Ashley got her revenge and was supposedly off in France using her patents to build her own thing. It kinda doesn’t make sense to have her messing with Jabot, considering she already left them high and dry. Don’t mind her coming back, just wish it was for something more logical. And excuse me, you guys. Jack Abbott is the patron saint of losers in love, business, friendship and paternity tests. Fortunately those who have had their company stolen, been cheated on with their own brother, or found out multiple children don’t belong to them can don Nike apparel to show their reverence, for the swoosh is their icon.

Why is Kyle claiming to love Summer while mooning over Lola? Nick was giving him an out, it seems like. Nick seems to know his supergirl is a super pain in the ass. I didn’t think he was that smart or observant. Why is Summer acting like Billy did something to her? Hell to the no. She wanted some of that hot nostril action. Yes, Billy used her for revenge sex, but she couldn’t wait to peel those skinny pants off his milky chicken legs. God, she’s so awful. While I’m excited to see Phyllis get shitcanned as CEO, why can’t Jack do it? I thought Ash scampered off to France with all those patents to start her own company. Oh well. Perhaps Phyllis can find work at a dumpster factory.

I’d watch.

I hope Cane crosses Abby’s path. If she can wield a hammer with such ferocity, imagine what she could do with a wooden stake.

Nick reconnects with Rebecca Barlowe? Who in the hell was clamoring for that? I’m far more interested in finding out what led to Nick losing his belly button and Billy generously donating a nostril so that his rival could once again have a navel. What a tale that must be!

That’s not what I meant! Why did you put that out in the universe? Though, truthfully, I think the days of Phyllis being the sexayest sexay who ever sexayed are coming to a close.

He’s pretty foxy. On a show where Billy would ever hump Phyllis, a younger Adam doesn’t seem so far fetched. Why, it’s downright quaint.

Thank you for this fruitcap, bannana, and I hope you feel better. Abby’s purse bib was everything. Everything! Arturo had a pretty rough day. I wish Jack had been able to deploy a sock to Billy’s chops the way Rey did to his brother. Is the show moving into a new, exciting “cheaters are bad” era? So Dr. Nate removes tumors now. Maybe he could excise Nikki’s. It’s large, leathery, and maintains its mass despite appearing to be in a chronic state of decomposition. It must be awful dragging that thing around. I suppose that Victor will magnanimously plead for leniency for JT so his beloved fambly can heal. Victor will be feeling generous now that he’s the only ugly growth causing terrible behavior in Genoa City. Mia is such a classy dame. All I could think about during her and Rey’s confrontation was the episode of Seinfeld where George thinks up the perfect comeback and travels quite a distance to deliver it. “The Jerk Store called and they’re running out of you.” His would-be burn victim nimbly replies “So what? You’re their all time best seller.” Frustrated, George blurts out “Yeah, well, I had sex with your wife!” Mia’s like “Oh you’re done with my trifling ass and respect this other woman? I fucked your brother! So there.” I think maybe now that Victoria is out of danger and has time to put stuff in perspective, she’s looking at the be-nostriled swizzle stick and wondering... “Was I really considering tapping that again?” The show will probably go with PTSD though.

Well, I’ll miss the eye candy, but if he takes Phyllis Jr. with him, it will ease the loss.

Well, damn, I thought Y&R was a documentary. I had learned so much about the giant nostril people, not to mention American jurisprudence.

I am relieved the Rosales family isn’t being run out of town on a rail. Would have been a bad look. Like everything else on this show, they need to be written better. But, I’mma need Sharon to find out that Rey let Mia go even after she admitted to bashing his sister’s head in, yet he was all too happy to slap cuffs on Sharon for merely covering up a crime committed in defense of Victoria. He needs to be told where to stick it and Sharon should get to be pissed for a while. I really don’t trust JG and don’t think he’s anything special, but if he can right this ship, I’ll give him credit where it’s due.

My sympathy for Summer well has also run dry. To be fair, it never had but a drop in it. What kind of demented asshole uses an organ transplant as bait and then actually believes the guy she’s blackmailing could fall in love with her? Using your liver to extort a relationship out of someone who doesn’t love you has to be near the highest level of thirsty one can achieve. And keeping it a secret so no one knows how pathetic you were in your quest for Kyle? Was Summer too dumb to understand that any surgery is risky, something might go wrong, and your family would have to be told? Duh. Kyle, though, should not be let off the hook for his slime. Don’t even pretend that sex with Summer was a condition of Lola getting a piece of liver. Never happened. He chose to dip his wick in the shallow end instead of jerking off like a normal person. Lola should tell him to fuck right off. Three lightly bound ladies needed a necrotic bile bag, hipster nostrils, baboon boy and jutting jaw to rescue them. Sure. Very empowering.

JT should have worn a Nick mask. Turnabout is fair play...

I’d like to believe PB respects women and co-workers enough not to leer at their breasts.

I’m going to pretend that JT is watching Mia and Arturo have sex through the window. And then he decides to re-bury himself.

The Mia/Arturo retcon pisses me off, not because I give a blue dilly fuck about either one of them, but because I don’t appreciate being gaslighted by the writers. We saw what happened and sexytimes were not included. It doesn’t even fix any of Mal’s crapola. I am grateful that the Who Didn’t Kill JT arc is coming to a merciful close.

The writers can shove a Summer/Kyle/Lola triangle directly up their asses. Summer is awful and it will be a cold day in Victor’s pants before I root for her. Please use the peanut based sutures, Dr. Nate! I know it’s hard to clean up the Superfund site Mal Young left behind, but I’m pretty sure letting a gorilla with loose bowels romp all over the scene isn’t helping. Speaking of gorillas and diarrhea, lulz at escape masterminds Buttbiscuit and Hot Banana. Between the two of them, they might be able to strategize the best way to win an armpit farting contest. Which one is the superhero and which is the sidekick anyways?

I honestly thought I was the only person who finds them off-putting. The MyPillow guy commercial where he appears in the married couple’s medicine cabinet is disturbing on so many levels. Is there some kind of crawl space back there, affording him the opportunity to lurk until the magical moment when he can spew his pillow propaganda at the homeowners? Is the shiny blue shirt and giant cross the pillow police uniform? Why does the husband and wife look like brother and sister? What kind of crazy person lets a stranger hover over their prone form and adjust their pillow? That lunatic has been hiding behind your dental floss and anti fungal cream for god knows how long, people! MyPillow could be the greatest pillow on earth, but I’m gonna have to pass.

Yeah, Kyle having to act like he wuvs Summer was never part of the devil’s bargain shown on screen. Having to consumate the marriage was never a condition of Summer donating her L word. Unless we get a flashback where Summer is gross enough to demand sex for a piece of organ, I’d say Kyle done lost his mind. Perhaps the Buttbiscuit gene in the Abbott line has claimed another victim.

Nothing can go wrong with Beely hiding his ex in a structure owned by his family. Bloody brilliant. No one will ever think to check the Abbott cabin.

While not mentally ill, Summer does have a rare personality disorder known as BNAPDS or Being Nick and Phyllis’s Daughter Syndrome. It is an incurable affliction hidden deep within the genes, the onset being triggered by the sufferer’s failure to be the center of attention. BNAPDS is a tragically perfect storm of malignant stupidity inherited from the father and sociopathic behavior inherited from the mother. Researchers continue to study what effects if any being the granddaughter of an actual corpse has on the course of the disorder.

Well, Kyle is back to garden gnome status.

Yeah, but... am I as smart as they come? 🤣 God, Summer is a heinous anus. Why is Kyle giving her such a tongue bath and being even remotely schmoopy. Does he have to pretend he can stand her as part of the deal now? Of course, if he actually bangs her, he can buy a first class ticket to Fuck Off City. Pull out, man. Nick should have, and see where we are now?

Geez, Victoria seems pretty ungrateful. Phyllis only snitched to help them. How did Phyllis being a tattletale rat bastard benefit Nikki, Vic, and Sharon? It didn’t, but that’s hardly important. Phyllis made pancakes for Victoria’s children once after a torrid night on their father’s swizzle stick. Why not focus on that? Everyone always highlights the negative in Phyllis. Look at how she heroically took over Jabot, empowering the world’s most boring chemist to think outside the box and create unorthodox eau de toilettes like Dumpster and Betrayal. Did that happen? No, but it could have, and Phyllis should get credit for it. I know it looks like Phyllis is trying to cultivate Kerry’s loyalty, which is certain to mess with Jack’s love life, but what you don’t get is that without his company and girlfriend, Jack has more time to spend at Dark Horse. Nick isn’t going to stop picking lice out of his arm hair without his trusty consultant to slap his hand away. Phyllis: the hero we never knew we needed because we don’t.

You can’t blame Billy for being upset. I mean, if Michael fails, Buttbiscuit will have to parent his own kids, which cuts into his Netflix and self-abuse time. Or as boes likes to call it, “afternoon delight.” It could be years before Victoria is available for sex, and by the time she gets out of prison, Billy will find he prefers his own hand on the joystick. Poor Billy. This is all such an inconvenience to him. Phyllis has a plan, everyone. Jabot will be filing for bankruptcy within a week.