PaperTree

Good episode. Lots of good lying and deception. Lauren wins reward and makes a power move, while Ryan and Crissy plot to take out Ben later. Heh. I've liked Lauren from the beginning. I hope she is not moving too soon. Slick idea to pull in Mike and Joe as pawns. Their "coconuts" antagonizing was great fun. I like how it got to Crissy at the challenge I've had enough of Ben. A poster smelled a winner's edit after the exploding fire incident and I tend to agree. Sort of a Pecking Order Immunity. The New Triumvirate feasts, sending Ashley to decoy, and she pulls it off. I wanted Mike to win to watch better scrambling, but this works for me. *Local news blurb by pretty smiling blonde woman: "WHO IN YOUR FAMILY IS LIKELY TO GIVE THE WORST GIFT? AT 11" Ugh. Tribal: Mike plays nuts. Thought Devon and Lauren might be blowing it. "It's happening when you don't know it's happening." Indeed. Hashtag Blindside! Crissy and Ryan's looks were great. Silent JP speaks and is banished! Damn! I so wanted Ryan or his idol gone! Patience. Ben's "double agent" act was impressive. Random reward draw? This seems like such a mis-match, but.....yeah... Devon looks suddenly brilliant. That often leads to disaster. He seems to have a good grasp on things and loves messing with Joe. LOL. Joe's a legend in his own mind. Meanwhile....No Mike, it's a DAY late and a dollar short, but sorry Ryan. That was hilarious. You blew me off and now you need me. Sorry putz. Smug Crisssy ain't so smug anymore. Awwww. I give her credit for not giving up and pulling out that immunity. The New Gang hangs together. Joe got played just so bad

Viva la revolucion!!! Generalissimo Ben gotta go! Sadly, no........... So much drama for such a predictable result. (sigh) I wish Mike had held on to his idol. You just know Joe is going to find the replant.

Proving once again that no good deed goes unpunished :)

So we begin with Jenderella on yet another roll of whining. Enough!! She is just useless. Can't even run an orange juicer. At this point in the season Kate is resigned that she is stuck with her. Yes Niko, don't be a dick. Try harder. Nice of him to acknowledge EJ helped him. It showed on the boat docking. Bri merrily flinging along with him. I didn't quite understand the phone call with Mom. What happened to the brother that was on the boat? Kyle does bring the weird. Fun to watch, don't want the experience. The guests seemed so nice. Then they get weird. Really weird. Sloppy weird indeed! Captain Lee, earning his tip at the "party". I loved Kate's "stages of getting hammered". Hilarious Matt's cooking is rather uninspiring. Scallops can be hard to cook, but gummy is bad. I do them under a gas broiler and have to really watch them. You don't eat fish? On a yacht. In the Caribbean. And don't notify anybody beforehand. I would be ordering lobster and filet mignon for what they pay for these charters, but that's just me. Not sure why Capt. Lee is so upset about the tip. I thought tips are usually a percentage of the total, so if the charters are the same length and cost, the tip should be about the same. Unless of course they totally wow the primary and s/he wants to give more. She praised the food, but who knows how sincere that was. Maybe he should let Bruno help again. Glad Kate figured out Jen overslept after bitching about Kyle. Does she know he made the coffee? I wonder how long Jen spent on her hair. Kate taking control of the menu. Smart. I remember this primary. Matt needs the guidance. Now we get to experience Frisky Jen. What could possibly go wrong? A wandering fork and shots of Jaegermeister! LOL Kyle needs to get over the food thing. I agree it's rude, but just tell her to knock it off and move on. You live in very tight quarters. Germs are swapping around all the time. Jen really shouldn't drink that much. She holds her liquor worse than Matt, then really likes to fling "whore" out there. Go away and never come back. Ever. Jen + Kyle = Jekyl?

LOL!

OK Lauren, how are they going to see you do it when it's a secret ballot! You have pockets. Use them! So production makes her use her bra... Maybe she does have to make sure it's a lop-sided vote, so her missing vote won't get any attention. The one I dislike the most gets auto reward. Ugh. Reward. Carbs, carbs, lettuce and alcohol, OK Quite the twist on the reward eating. I always like when these post-merge pecking order things show up. I hope Joe's order bites him in the ass. Cole stumbles on the clue, has a flash of brilliance hiding the clue. Then totally blows it when they get back to camp. LOL! Of course Weasel boy snags it, but I give him credit for hiding the plate so Joe wouldn't know anything and then jumping on it when Cole went off into Stupidland. Immunity Mike goes soft. Target Joe down! Bye Devin. Bummer Lauren. Bye Weasel. Ash down. Yeah!, Crissy down. Ben too. Bummer I thought Desi had this. Wow. Cole can really focus when he has to. I so want Joe gone, but experience tells me it won't happen. Woot! There it is! Bye Desi. Lauren. Did you have to use this advantage tonight? Looks like she used it and then took it back on the re-vote. cool! I like her, but I hope Ben doesn't drag her down, or ratfuck her at the end.

Jen's endless whining has gotten so tiresome. Whining cleaning up. Whining in the morning. Whining Capt. Lee didn't praise her. Whining about Kate and her "mind games". Honey, you don't have much of a mind to play with. Kate is cutting you a lot of slack. She should get off with the whining guests. They seemed to love her. Bye EJ, don't let the bulkhead hit ya on the way out! Oh wait.... Niko is happy. (and gets lucky, too!) I hope he steps it up. I'm sick of hearing about his brother. I want to like him, but he can whine a lot too. Mrs. Lee seems very nice. They're a sweet couple. Yes Jen, you are a real delicacy. Kate's rundown of the evening was great. Truly unusual nobody got hammered and started fighting. They had to behave for Mrs. Lee. Krazy Kyle should liven things up. Lots of Jesus Juice and a boatload of cougars, here we go. "Nico take your shirt off" lol. So Bruno is bi and Kyle is still gross. Only saw half of that coming:) Then he wants to take Jen out. You go dude! Hah, he hasn't been around long enough to see how nuts she is. I'm missing the Kate-Jen-whore thing. wth? I have no clue what Jen's problem is and assume she misunderstood, as usual. I don't think Matt is "depending" on Bruno, just making use of available help and having fun. But it's next to last charter, why not mess with his head. I hope he gets it together.

From smug to starving to a 5 minute Outback commercial. This is screwed up CBS/Burnett. Queen bee virgin Jessica: No you're stupid. Ha Ha you're blindsided. So many I want voted off tonight, but you will do. Crissy is on to Joe. Good Ben making smart noises Under the radar? There's 3 of you left. Devin seems to be blowing this. I'm feeling a joe vote, idol play and adios Cole. OK Glad i was wrong *again I'm liking the challenge. Shut up Jeff! Cole. I don't know what to say. Bizarre Tribal. Idol flushed ! Yes! And the virgin goes out with it! Yea!

He was unusually agitated this episode. Not sure why, but it's not a good look for him.

Put Jen out on deck. That would be quite the train wreck!

"Two drunk Nicos" indeed. Quite the douchebro pair. EJ is bailing! Yeah! Bad on the film crew missing Nico's injury. Looks like he got a big pile of meds. I want his Doctor. His absence really helped the episode, as well as the brother disappearing. Charter Dudebro wants his boatride. Waaah! Aww. Leering at Bruno was gross. I want him puking over the side. Kate, Bruno did not have to offer to help. Sometimes she needs to get over herself. As others have said, she really seems to be just "phoning it in" this season. She is right about these people being just complainers. Nothing will ever be good enough for them. I've escaped from people like this. An 80's party?? Barf out! Gag me with a spoon! Nice going Capt. Lee with the little boat ride. Some people have to see for themselves. Boating is no fun in rough seas. "Laundry never ends, cleaning never ends. It's a vicious cycle" Cry me a river Jen, it's your bleeping JOB! She is insufferable. Kate cuts her yet another break on her breaks. I tried to watch her eat. It's like a mouse nibbling. No wonder it takes her forever. Makes latte like she does her hair. "Takes forever and still looks like shit" LOL Matt. A luau is like a buffet with pineapples and duck sauce on the side. Maybe start with sweet & sour something, teriyaki steak, lobster and some shrimp. Lay off the fish. Crankypants has had enough fish. Was he sick that day at chef school? Ah ribs. Of course! He seemed to pull it together somehow, plus Bruno made his desserts. Jen is psychotic. How can you not get the damn laundry done. Fire it up, set a timer, go do other work, repeat until finished. She seemed to agree to Bri's plan to knock out the work and then it didn't happen. Her "dramatic" reenactments are really over the top. Then Bruno goes off on Kate for some reason. Not a good move. Maybe he got caught up in all that silly drama. Captain Lee steps up to jack up that tip. Well done. He would make a great King Neptune if he ever crosses the equator. The hula girls were a very nice touch.

I like this read on them.

Sad to see Ali go. Her initial tribe assignment and then the swap really screwed her. Chrissy and Ryan make me ill, but voting out JP would have been stupid. After the merge, he is a huge meat shield and is unlikely to win every immunity. And any time he does win, he's not going likely to vote against Crissy or her cockroach. Joeny finding another idol was totally expected. I hope he goes home with it in his pocket. Big distraction with Cole sort of passing out. The previews led me to believe he clocked his head on the bamboo. Never believe the previews. Was it a strategic fake out for more food or did production put him up to it? I'm liking the Devon/Ashley team.

That and his oddly shaped head makes me uncomfortable. Along with his obnoxious smug superior attitude. ;)

Finally! An almost "washing machine" tribe swap. No huge advantage for any gang on any tribe. Cole, you poor deluded pretty man. I was going to defend him for his previous blabbermouthing, (I had typed this yuuuge thing and thankfully the machine ate it :)) but I can't anymore. Joe and Allen. A whirlwind of paranoid stupid. Devon pulls the vote block advantage and.....it's a fucking penalty!! WTF Burnett! At least Allen is gone , Joeny is now idol-free and marked for eviction. (hope springs eternal.....)

They are quite full of themselves lately. Since the editors know who the winner is and how s/he gets there, I hope they are being set up for a big fall. They did set up Patrick's demise rather nicely :)

I was hoping he would wound himself badly enough to get pulled from the game. Adios stupid crazy man. I remember a woman (can see her face, but the name escapes me) who used a pointy branch on a big dead log to open the coconuts. She was like a machine at it :)

That was one of the gems of the evening. Ryan is growing on me.

HAH! Finally knocked that stupid shit-eating grin off Patrick's face. They fooled me. A dudebro's douchbaggery almost never gets him voted off over a woman. His bitter tears and whining for his tribe's defeat just bring me more joy. I hope his moving business crashes and burns, but I doubt it. Patrick put them very far behind and they lose. He's such an asshole. That attempt to be "nice" to Lauren in the water was pathetic. Simone's yard sale. LOL Starting with surprise, surprise, the bros are targeting Lauren. The easy solution to the Patrick dilemma is to not lose challenges. Duh. He did nothing in last weeks challenge, but that is down the memory hole. I really like Lauren and her realizing the awful position she is in and doing something about it with her back against the wall. Patrick goes idol crazy, Ali tries to talk him down. It won't work and he goes further off the deep end. Why are you more likely to lose next week as Patrick has shown himself to be useless, Devon? Nobody else broke at Tribal. Excellent blindside. Look it up, Pat Over in Blue Land, Krissy and Ben seem confident. Too confident. Something about Ben bothers me, but I can't put a finger on it. Maybe because Ben thinks he and Krissy aren't a "power couple" because there is no sex while yapping on the JP Ashley thing. The whole concept is just stupid. Allen has to go. Ashley needs to suck up to him to avoid this silly power couple thing while working to whack him. JP just catching fish and avoiding drama. Usually a merge-worthy strategy. Joe still gotta go. Good to see the rest of the tribe hates him too. Jessica is a bit squirrely. She is going to be trouble, some way; some how. Cole is lovestruck and blabs about the idol. How soon until everyone knows? Like 10 minutes LOL Now Jessica gets all pissy that Cole has a plan and is going for it. You have to do the planning now. After losing the challenge it's much harder to strategize. Joe is paranoid, you all have to be cool. Don't tell Mike anything until the very last second. Mike sits so he can't be blamed.

Well EJ, since you're the new boss, it's your responsibility to check everything. Especially on Day One. Don't just assume this or that was done. He's as bad as the rest of them, but thinks he's brilliant. Always a good idea for the team to check each other, especially these Einsteins. Jen continues to whine. Why can't you call home for a few minutes a day? You don't seem to stray very far from the main town on the island. It's only 15 miles from St. Bart's to St Maarten. CB is going to sleep in the bilge. Good luck dude. OK, it's the hold. I don't know how "airless" it is, but there's lots of privacy. Kate was nice to throw him a bone and give him something to do for the casino night. Looks like he didn't tick off the guests. Matt is still a mess. How do you forget to obtain your entree? Whip up an appetizer or something waiting for the lobsters! I give him credit for cooking them up so quickly. Give it to him straight Kate. No more screwing around. Well done dinner too! Now stay away from the Jim Beam. Dueling bosses never works. We have to manufacture the drama somehow. That puts the underlings in a bad spot. You just knew more deck confusion was coming. I can barely understand what Baker is saying, but the Closed Captions drive me nuts. Syphilis? OK then Niko. That's a bit off the wall. What's with the window washing? It's not hard, but streaks can be hard to see in the wrong light. Somehow they didn't look "caked" with salt. I have found newspaper works very well for the final destreaking. EJ is annoying as hell, but Niko is no real prize here either. I don't know enough about boats to really know who's right in these silly spats. So it's OK for Bruno to be a live meat platter for a group of gay men, but taking his shirt off to wring it out is not allowed. I think if he was shirtless on deck more often, the editors would happily have shown it. Captain Lee is in a very bad mood. How do you jump in a boat and cut loose without the keys? Very high on the stupid scale. I give Niko credit for admitting his failures. Most people find somebody else to blame. Don't go away mad CB, just go away. St. Bart's is a really expensive place for him to get dropped off. That $2000 tip isn't going to go very far there. Jen whining at the crew drunk, surprise, surprise surprise. Bitter is just one word for it. "Somebody help this girl" Funny Niko. Did Matt order water at first? It looked like he had a beer later. Did Niko, Bri and Bruno try to get away from Jen and EJ going to that other bar and were followed? Maybe the producers make them all stay together unless there is sex involved. Niko doesn't bring up his girlfriend because he knows you don't want to hear about it Bri. Get over yourself. The drunken douchbro battle was the inevitable climax to the evening's festivities. Niko is going to lose this war.

nm

I thought that the big table side flaming presentation was the whole point of the dish. Otherwise it's just syrupy bananas and ice cream on a plate. It's also supposed to be made with rum which provides the flame, yet the tea-totaling guests didn't seem to mind. Were they too shy to flag down Kate for more ice cream?

Chris Brown - Hangover King. Dude is pathetic. Pitch him over the side somewhere. Jen - Poor, poor Cinderella. Stop whining. Kate says you will get yours, so file that and carry on. Then she snoozes through the start of her shift. Matt and Bri and the nude beach and a liter of Jim Beam. Oh my. Matt really does not hold his liquor well. Awkward is only one word for that mess of a date. Capt. Lee has the deadpan humor down. Hilarious. It would have been nice to have given Niko a heads up on EJ. He's putting up a good front. I would be totally pissed off too. "Good thing there's no HR" Indeed. The eighth circle of hell. They don't have more bunks on that huge boat? "I got a virgin cocktail for ya!" LOL Kate has the best talking heads. Very boring yet annoying guests. Matt seemed oddly detached from their complaints. I hope he gets himself together. I'm not sure what to make of EJ. Getting this "teacher's pet" vibe and it's kind of annoying. I'll root for Niko in the upcoming war. Lights out at 9:40. Must be the jet-lag. It wasn't the excitement or the liquor :)

I'm guessing she was hiding JP and the 3 women could have easily whacked Alan, but that idea didn't seem to come up. Not sure if JP is as clued in as the audience how Alan is psycho obsessed about him and Ashley being this "power couple". It all feels kind of "off".

I like yellow, but Joe gotta go. He's Tony Jr. Stop with the respect bullshit. Mike is sadly an easy target. I like him but I don't think he has a chance. I'm hating on the Blue tribe. Alpha male BS on full display. Alan is a bullying asshole. Careful Mr. NFL Black Man. Your word is worth nothing to the rest of the tribe. Red team looks pathetic, but may be tenacious. Super Immunity Idol!, but only good for first tribal. Interesting. Ryan is creepy. I hope his alliance with Doofus Surfer Dude crumbles. Tie votes are back in at Tribal Council? wtf? Woo Hoo! A boatload of testosterone going to tribal. Chrissy looks doomed! Will Ryan save her????? And he does! Disclosure: A friend of mine lives in the same town she is from and has met her in passing. He's a professor and has never watched Survivor, but will check it out to see how she does. I'll pump him for some more info :) Good crazy tribal. Sad that Chrissy couldn't save Katrina and even voted her out. "The STFU and keep the target off my back strategy" Would Ashley have automatically gone if she pulled out the advantage? The women should have voted for Alan. A big strong wannabe dictator.