[S09.E19: Reunion Part 1]

nc socialworker, I can't quit Vicki either. She can say such horrendous things. I just have to shake my head at her prejudices but I am seeing some growth in her regarding other things. I am not one for Brooks either but I thought the moment she said that if Brooks hurt her the only person she can blame was herself was incredibly poignant and powerful to me.

 

Vicki doubling down on the OK hate I have to LOL at. I know Andy was giving her a chance to apologize but as much sympathy as I have for my OK previously tv fam I can't hate. Hell I live in Jersey (NYC native though) currently and let me tell you I am used to getting hate about my state. There are just places that don't vibe with people. I for one hate PA. I don't know what it is about it. Been to Philly, Harrisburg, Pittsburgh, Amish Country, Hershey Park area, Stroudsburg and other such parts and I don't care for the state. Just don't. Could Vicki had been more diplomatic? Absolutely but I don't think she should lie about a place she doesn't like. YMMV. 

 

I have to say this is one of the ugliest, cheapest looking Bravo reunion sets ever. It looked like they had it at a Pier One Imports outlet warehouse. What the hell was with all the extra furniture in the back and tons of bric-a-brac and knickknacks everywhere and the lighting makes everything look cartoonishly bright? The set just look so damn busy that it was distracting. Plus the ocean view in the background looked kind of fake but who knows.

 

I can't stand Bethanny, but when Terry said he didn't sleep for 2 months over David's comment I wanted to scream 2 things that B made popular:

 

1. Get a hobby

2. Go to sleep.

[S09.E19: Reunion Part 1]

Scrotum is the sack, testes is the medical term for balls.

Thanks. Apparently I need a thesaurus. 

[S09.E19: Reunion Part 1]

Heather triple filtering that non-apology through the logic behind her perceptions was some old horse shit, especially in light of the fact that when the Dubrows feel just a little bit slighted the only perception that seems to matter to them are their own and no apologies are accepted by them. EVER.   

 

Shannon once again proves that SHE.IS.NOT.THE.ONE. Heather and Tamra really thought it was gonna be any easy win vs fragile, new age crackpot Shannon. They really did. That is the one thing that is giving me pure joy. Heather and Tamra misread her and wound up playing themselves and losing the season. Bwahhhh! Well played Shannon. Well played.

 

I love that Shannon was clear and concise, particularly about the 'Shannon is crazy and a drunk' campaign. She said that it seemed to be a concerted effort and that Heather and Tamra seemed to have a plan that if they said it enough, it would become true to the audience, i.e. the Fox News method.

 

Heather, Edna Mode is looking for your ass. She wants to know why you stole her cut and can't rock it an eighth as hard as her.

 

Vicki doesn't seem to do well outside of her little circle of white, American, straight, Southern CA people. She's always inadvertently insulting people with her ignorance.

 

I loved the news that Feng Shui isn't just for Asian people anymore, it is now for whites too. I guess that still counts me out according to Vicki.

 

I didn't think much of the flirting thing because for goodness sake he was flirting with Vicki. Notice that he wasn't alleged to have been flirting with any of the other HWs. This would be similar to me flirting with the older security guard at my job or my butcher - just a spot of fun that I know ain't leading anywhere because to me it is non-sexual in nature and I am not attracted to them. I did feel bad for Shannon because it did seem to hit her where she lived but my guess is not because of his flirtation with Vicki but because he has a roving eye in general and maybe their is a history of infidelity there which I always suspected. Shannon wasn't mad about the Vicki flirting (although Vicki wishes) when she walked over to that bar at the rodeo ribbon cutting (WTF?!). Shannon was pissed about the only blond that was at that bar that was hot that David appeared to be sidling up to partner. I caught a vibe there. YMMV. 

 

exactly, why didn't Terry have the nads to say something during those two months?  sorry, I should use the medical term:  balls.  

Umm, I think the correct medical term her is scrotum. 

 

So Terry used the word sardonic and asked if David knew what the word meant, and Heather added that he'd probably need a thesaurus. But they weren't being demeaning. Ok, got it.

I so wish this had been brought up because this is what cemented that the Dubrows were elitist assholes to me.

[Terry Dubrow]

But don't forget the "motorcade."  

 

That's the crowning glory of Miss Terry and Madame, because no one else in the area has a "motorcade" in front of their home.  

 

Well, unless the President is cruising down their street.  

 

Talk about needing a thesaurus, "Fancy Pants," your moronic twit.  

You know I couldn't think of the word 'motorcade' for the life of me.  I for one am surprised that they call it that. I have never heard it referred to as such. Maybe the Dubrows need a thesaurus because by my accounts I have heard it called a porte-cochère or carriage porch. Going by wiki and a pic of their home, that is exactly what it is

 

A porte-cochère (/ˌpɔərt koʊˈʃɛər/), coach gate or carriage porch is a porch- or portico-like structure at a main or secondary entrance to a building through which a horse and carriage (or motor vehicle) can pass in order for the occupants to alight under cover, protected from the weather.

 

 

The Dubrow model of their home

 

 

So I don't know why they call it a motorcade, which sounds infinitely less fancy than than the alternative of porte-cochère. You would think Heather would jump at the chance to throw around some schmancy French words. Maybe she was afraid of pronouncing it wrong and looking the fool. Maybe motorcade is a regional thing?

 

This is gonna being a European style American nightmare house. 

[S01.E07: For Services Rendered]

Climbing on board the 'I love this show' train. Yes there continues to be a whole lot of inexcusable levels of stupid but I still manage to enjoy the hell out of this show. This episode just needed some Fet. 

 

I was so happy to see the pleasant face of Battlestar's Tyrol on the show. Why the hell did they have to go and kill him off even before the official intro to the show? Just damn!!! 

 

That cab driver? One wonders how someone so patently stupid was able to attain a license to drive a car. I think seeing that tongue thing leap out of someone's mouth and suction onto the window of your car would be enough to have you putting the pedal to the metal, but I guess not. No words.

 

Helllllooo shirtless Gus!  

 

And enter stage left a new player(s) on the field. I am a little hesitant to call them vampires because they seem so very different than the rest. Unlike Nazi vamp, they seem to have noses. I don't know what to make of them but damn am I intrigued and surprised by their appearance. I was really scared for Neeva and the kids because I thought they were equally as scary as the mindless zombie vamps. Be damned if I would be getting close and doing pirouttes before them. 

 

I'm really confused as to why some vamps are rabid while some become higher functioning.

 

Not a book reader and just going by what I have seen so far but it appears that perhaps you need some kind of special embrace by the Master to be high functioning. I notice that Nazi vamp was human in 1944 but seemed to be working for the Master being as how he directed the box to be made which has the Master flying in style into Canadork. I think only those who are useful and necessary for the Master's world takeover get the 'privilege' of being made high functioning vamps. I think dying rich dude who is the live action version of Mr. Burns is the only one currently in line to be granted such an 'honor.' I do wonder why Master seems to slow to turn him though.

 

I think the Master has been very strategic in plotting his world takeover. He was feeding at the Nazi camp but breaking his victims necks afterwards so as to not have any turn into vamps. Probably didn't want to be alerting the world that such a thing exists. Master was playing the long game. Probably hooked up with a Nazi officer with the thoughts that perhaps under Hitler and the cover of WWII he could act on his plans but the tide turned and he had to abort, which might explain why he needed the traveling box made - to get out of dodge as bombs were dropping all around them. 

 

Young Abe was a hot, sexy piece. 

 

Neeva appeared to be Haitian. Even though the daughter came off as a bit obnoxious, I still felt bad that she got killed. I just think she didn't want her mom to get in trouble with her employer and mom wasn't exactly given her much to go on. 

[Terry Dubrow]

How is this his crowning achievement? He's not the architect, he's not the one physically building it. No, I think this would be the crowning achievement of the architect, designer, the construction manager and all the subcontracors who do the work. All Terry has to do is write a check. No talent required for that. He may look down his nose on construction workers but they are the ones who deserve the glory.

 

I am gonna need a bath for this, but in a way I get what he is saying. Yes the architect is putting together the drawings of the house and contractors are building it but they are doing so at the DuBrows direction and to their specifications. That being said, my problem with his statement is that the house they are building will be like any other nouveau riche 15k square foot monstrosity. It will be devoid of any new, original architectural detail, not reflective of the owner's personality because the only thing they are really interested in doing is impressing others and most of all it look like a reception hall lacking any kind of inviting feel or familial warmth. There is something about walking into a house where you know many small children live and it being completely devoid of any evidence that young children live there. Not saying that it has to be strewn with toys, but it just looks like no one, especially small children, are allowed to be or even sit there for fear of ruining it.

 

The Dubrows mansion will be like all others drowning in marble, granite and other precious stone materials with wrought iron details throughout. There is no danger of it ever being featured in Architectural Digest. It wouldn't surprise me if they did a survey of all their friends homes and their main intent was to outdo all of them. "Oh, the Smiths have a 8 car garage. We are getting a 12 car garage."  "Oh the Larsons have a barber chair in their bathroom. We will have a full service hair salon in ours." Terry has been more braggy about it than Heather. Who can forget him mentioning that the Beadors don't have that stupid car thing they keep going on about.  That house ain't nothing but another Queen of Versailles money pit. Speaking of which, I have an idea for the title of this thread:

 

Miss Terry: Queen of Versailles. 

[S09.E19: Reunion Part 1]

Well just watched the reunion preview and the rumors seem to be true. Brianna did indeed appear via skype at the reunion and it was a big old ball of nothing and completely unnecessary. Her appearance brought forth two big revelations. The first was she introduced her new born named Owen to the audience and the second? She was having Chicago style pizza that Mommy had purchased for the family for dinner that night. Truly riveting stuff that absolutely required she show her face for 4 minutes (heavy sarcasm). I know one thing for damn sure I never ever want to hear her say that her mother does nothing for her. Vicki has been to OK 7 times in 2-3 months and seemingly left a fridge full of food for her to eat so she can cool it with that jazz.

I really liked the intro showing all the HW arriving, getting their hair did and commenting on what was to come.

The little snippit with Heather already has me raging. Again she is trying to play the Shannon is insane card and making a twitchy eye face while saying it.

I hate Heather's new bangs. That should not have been a game day decision. Didn't think much of Shannon's hairdo either. It looked like she had just come in from out of a rainy windstorm. It looked flat and stringy.

I probably need to reserve judgment until Bravo wrings 3 episodes out of this mess but the Vicki/Tamra fallout isn't ringing true to me. Tamra apologized to Brooks and they basically reconciled on the finale episode. My guess is that Tamra is mad about Vicki calling her a liar about the 'take the Beadors down' and calling her on her other bullshit but Tamra's "anger" seems hollow and not real to me. Her eyes and face lack her typical rabid, crazed ferret quality I have come to know all to well when she is truly angry.

I have to say that Vicki's transgressions against Tamra are pretty much child's play compared to how Tamra dogged Vicki at past reunions by outing her sexual liasions and other highly personal dirt.

[Current Plots Discussion: Actually Today's Episode]

Was Theresa's comment about "Today is the hottest day of the year" so that we were given the shot of Brady taking off his sweaty shirt and titillating the cameras with his sweaty, hairless body?

I thought the juxtaposition between that and seeing Marlena dressed for fall in that heavy ass tweed jacket, over a white blouse covered in about as much gold as Mr. T hilarious. Also, Will was dressed like some high schooler out of an Archie comic. He was just missing the little beanie crown hat. Go back to Riverdale fool!

Hate to harp on fashion but I find the number of women carrying a clutch handbag kind of hilarious. Eve, Theresa, Marlena, Abby and a few others were carrying them. Must've been some kind of clearance going on. I never understood clutches outside of evening wear. They are just so inconvenient to me as an everyday bag.

If I had a dollar for every time Brady ended a conversation with Theresa about the annulment papers being on the way I would be a hundredaire. I really do wonder where if anywhere the writers are taking Theresa and Brady. Jawn in a coma bit is going nowhere fast. This story needs something. I do like it for the most part mainly for the actress of Theresa but I do think her ass needs to get caught. I usually hate the shoehorning of Dan into every story as hero, I am so looking for some movement on this story I am not hating his buttinski ways right now. That is how bad things are.

[Current Plots Discussion: Actually Today's Episode]

Days should have never posted the Will article. It was terribly written. It isn't worthy of being posted in the comment section of youtube let alone any type of official news publication.

I think Marlena pretty much summed up my thoughts on this show and the majority of its storylines when she said to Will: "Honey, this is not making any sense." I tune into this show knowing full well that I ain't watching Breaking Bad or True Detective. I know not to expect a true representative of the judicial process or see medical procedures, diagnoses and jargon used and portrayed accurately. I know characters don't act consistently and sooner or later all of them will look like hypocrites. I know I have to suspend disbelief, but this show is really crossing the line with me by trying to shove the victimhood halo over the horribly coiffed and colored heads of the Horton women. Days is trying my patience. What I object to most right now is them trying to tell me that up is down and black is white. That is what this whole Abigail did nothing wrong and this hurts Abby the most shit is for me.

Ah Will, weasly in both appearance and action. I want to taste his salty tears over no one patting him on the back about how good his article is.

Kristen getting out on bail is the most assinine development. I get that she needs to be out to interact with everyone but cheese and rice. As many judges and cops as Stefano is alleged to have on his payroll he must own the whole town. Also funny that Steffie is so good at buying up public officials but can't find an effective assassin to save his life. None of them seems aware of the double tap to the head concept used by most hired guns.

I said in the unpopular opinion thread that I really like the actress that plays Anne and hope they expand her role on the show. I would love if they put her in Lucas's orbit because that man needs airtime. It grinded my gears that Jen was given the opportunity to dominate, have the last word and slam the door in Anne's face with righteous indignation based on such a specious argument.

How can Abby say in the same breath that she wanted to have sex with EJ, she isn't an innocent victim, she was a pursurer and then call it a mistake? Oh yes, because she is a Horton.

At this point both Abby and Jen are like visual ipecac to me - they make me want to vomit just looking at them.

Sami asking for help from EJ to deal with the board is disgusting. I really hope the show isn't headed for a reunion between those two. Way too many references to them deserving each other. Also, seriously were Abby and Jen thinking of putting that type of statement in a press release? (Heavy sarcasm ahead)They must be really good at the jobs they never go to.

EJ's parting shot to Will that he always puts his family first was the biggest laugh this episode. Was he doing that when he told Johnny his mom didn't love him or when he exposed them to the Rafe doppleganger. I just can't with his ass and can't wait until he is off my screen.

I also can't wait until there is a new day on Days mainly because I am tired of looking at Jen's struggle Farrah Fawcett hair. WTF is that. Homegirl needs a new do stat! She either needs to chop it off or add some extensions for fullness. Tired of that scraggly dry mess. Also, that dress she is wearing is just too young and 'sweet' for her.

[S09.E18: All Apologies]

I'm not one of the ones who thinks Eddie is really gay. I believe that he likes women but I have to wonder WHY he married Tamra?? I mean, what a mistake. He could have just dated her for awhile and then dumped her. She is just such a bitch and she came with heavy baggage. When he was trying to kiss her by the sink she kept pulling away from him. What happened to their insane chemistry?!

 

And her comment that "Eddie wouldn't touch Lizzie with a 10 foot pole" (or similar)?! YOU WISH TAMRA. I personally don't find Lizzie very attractive but I could see Eddie finding her attractive. She has a Sophia Loren vibe, Kentucky Fried titties in your face at all times too.

I never thought Eddie was gay per se. It is just that choosing to be with Tamra opens up all types of questions about him, including is he gay? Seriously, WTF is he doing with her?!?! He is young, had a decent career, had his own home, must have had some degree of disposable income, in great shape, seemingly nice with a laid back attitude, attractive - why Tamra??  She is in her 40's, divorced multiple times, 4 kids, crass, loud, unintelligent, incurious, ton of emotional baggage. Like WTF is wrong with you dude? Who hurt you? Do you hate yourself that much? 

 

Oh and I totally think Eddie would with Lizzie. Just his type - exotic. That is why Tamra is extra heated. Lizzie hit her where she lives. LOL!

 

The thing about Lizzie is that all her individual features are pretty by themselves. She has beautiful, beautiful big almond shaped eyes, amazing high prominent cheekbones and lips people pay for but all those strong features on one face are just too damn much. I bet she photographs well but in person just looks odd and overdone. It is like Sophie Loren and Peggy Bundy had a baby.  I don't think she can help her face. In the few photos they showed from her pageant days, she doesn't look much different now compared to then. I think she could soften up her face by toning down those eyebrows a bit and going easy on the makeup by not contouring and picking one feature (eyes or lips but not both) to highlight. I will say that I think she has very pretty hair. Love the color especially and it looks so healthy and shiny. 

[S09.E18: All Apologies]

Yup.  He should have "gone to the source" just like his wife is so fond of telling all of the other RHOC.

 

Heather using "go to the source" as some kind of mantra especially in relation to Shannon really chaps my ass because with email-gate, Shannon did go to the source - Tamra. The problem is that the source lied to her face. Shannon's spidey sense must have been tingling and she didn't believe the lying lies of a liar and went one level down to the recipient of gossip to see where they got it from. It was at that one level down, Heather, that she got the truth. Shannon then went back to the black hole of suck known as Tamra, who then realizing her ass was well and truly caught fessed the fuck up.

 

With 'take the Beadors down' Shannon having been burned once before by Tamra with email-gate, not trusting 'the source' confronts Tamra on camera as to whether the Dubrows actually made that statement, Tamra lies and says she never said that. Shannon is perplexed but decides to not bring it up since Tamra story did a complete 180. So understandably Shannon was like WTF when it was brought up by none other than Tamra who started the whole thing and was then presenting it as Exhibit A that Shannon is a crazy ass bitch.

 

The only people having trouble going to the source are the Dubrows. Their asses are trusting Tamra as a font of information and buying what production tells them wholesome. They can both go off and pop and vein.

 

Confession, I having been pronouncing Miss Terry as Miss Turry - like Tyler Perry as Medea or Cleveland from Family Guy. I recommend it. It is quite fun.

 

Tamra gets her eyeshadow from Staples

 

 

[Unpopular Opinions]

I really think the actress with the super curly glorious head of hair (who interacts alot with Theresa) that is some kind of hospital administrator is a really decent actress and they should find a place for her on the show in a more expanded role. I kinda wish they would put her with Lucas. Have her be a schemer for him and then they could fall in love. Lucas needs a storyline and a love interest STAT!

 

I don't find Brady attractive. I can see where others would but to me he looks like a cheap Chippendale stripper who does gay for pay porn on the side. His veneers are also the worst. They are too big and so damn distracting. It is like he has a mouth full of subway tiles. I don't hate the character just tired of him being the village idiot.

 

I find the minor periphery teen players more interesting and dynamic than the main featured contract players. JJ and Paige just ain't happening for me. It is the whole good wholesome virgin girl with the hoe-ish bad boy trope that has been done to death.

 

This is gonna sound so mean but damn that Paige girl has a weird ass shaped long head. It is frigging mesmerizing. I find her on the one hand to be a pretty girl and on the other I am like 'damn her head is huge. Is she from Easter Island?' I will say that she has an amazing head of hair.

 

I don't think the actor who plays Sonny is a good actor. He is so flat to me and I don't think him and nuWill  have chemistry.

 

I don't like Jen but I am rooting for Jen in the Jen vs Eve storyline.

 

I am meh on Kristen at this point. I feel like TPTB are at the point of damn near tappin that well dry. The only thing I am slightly looking forward to is the Brady/Kristen confrontation.

 

See, I didn't think Stephanie was actually more beautiful than Melanie, looks-wise or personality-wise.  She may have a more conventional beauty by certain standards, but I don't think that's what makes someone beautiful.  And that is exactly what I liked; It wasn't the typical boy pushes quirky girl out of the way to get to the beauty queen.  Guys in real life actually do often prefer women who aren't conventional or who have physical "flaws".  It was just nice to be able to watch that in a medium which mostly caters to showing off conventionally beautiful people.  Now there's nothing wrong with conventional beauty, but showing over and over again that men only prefer that is not true to life

 

 

One only needs to look online and see the way men froth at the mouth over Emma Watson to see the truth of this statement. I always thought of her as kinda plain looking and unremarkable so I was shocked to see so many dudes sweating her.

[S09.E18: All Apologies]

Even better, Bravo needs to bring in a construction worker. Who does Miss Terry think is getting all that money he dishes out to build his bigger better buildings they call home? I have more respect for the cuticle of a construction worker's pinky than I do for Miss Terry. And by the way Miss Terry, a good construction worker with his own successful business can make enough money to build his own house, right next to yours.

To add to that, David would probably pay less for building the house because he could use his construction connects and get discounts on building materials and supplies. So double down on the suckage Dubrows! 

 

The Dubrow hate makes my black heart sing. I always found Heather to be elitist, humble braggy and condescending but it was always so on the sly and damn near amorphous that it was hard to pinpoint and explain to others. No she never bragged about the labels she owned - she just made sure that the Chanel label on her bag was always pointed outwards. No she never bragged about her palatial home - she just complained that it was too small while receiving company in her 1,000 square foot master bath with its own living room area with couches and a coffee table.  Her husband ruined her proposal by bringing her to Paris but instead of proposing at the Eiffel Tower he did it on the plane. Poor you. 

[S09.E18: All Apologies]

If I was at a party and David said, spread your legs, in the context he did. I might shake my head at the crudeness but then move on and forget it.  Again excessive alcohol will make people say things.  
.

No doubt it was crude. I have got to say though that David was such a boss tonight that if he shouted it to my stiff totally non-limber ass you would think my name was yoga master teacher Hilaria Baldwin because I would be doing the damn splits in the air standing on my head.

Comparing Shannon in her scene with David in their house talking about the party to come and the Shannon on WWHL, it definitely looks like she had something done. Her neck and eye area in the scene with David aged her considerably. I will commend her on work well done. The mark of good is folks debating whether you look refreshed and rested or if you had work done. The next most important think is the patient knowing when to frigging stop.

[S09.E18: All Apologies]

WOW that was even worse than I thought it would be. The Dubrows are condescending, elitist assholes of the highest order. They have no fucking self awareness either. They cried foul when David basically called them on saying he was dumb and uneducated. Umm, Just moments before Miss Terry said David needed to look up the word sardonic and Heather said he needs a damn thesaurus. Bitches WTF did you think that implied?

David was a sarcastic little shit after he realized the DuBrows were invested in staying mad and I will love him forever for that!!! That is how you handle the thirsty. Sit there all relaxed, giving no fucks, sarcastically admitting you are a drunk, stupid, lowly uneducated menial worker who is only fit to lay tile in the Hampton Inn their are building which they will call home and watch them froth at the mouth in anger over you not groveling at their feet and kissing their Cartier rings.

Heather is just determined to hate and find fault with Shannon over every fucking thing. I really don't want to hear any damn apology from her at the reunion or in the blogs. The only reason she would be giving one is because the public hates her like Ebola. She is extremely unattractive when she is in her petty argumentative mode. She does have black in her eyes and soul.

So I guess Christian not only wants his hair like that but goes to great lengths to achieve that rumpled, wild unkempt look. Good heavens!

Black shadow is not your friend Tamra. Neither is your makeup artist, father time or your plastic surgeon.

Vicki's emotions over her child moving away seemed 100% more genuine and real than Tamra's. I damn near busted out laughing when Tamra was at her front door saying good bye and she had a tissue to one eye and the other seemed to be fixed on the camera making sure they were capturing the shot. WTF was that?!?!

I am going to go against the grain here and say that Vicki look good by Vicki standards. Her hair and makeup were great. I loved the sleeves on her dress. I thought if it hadn't been backless (and she would've worn a supportive bra) and had been longer, like to her knees, it would have been perfect. I don't mind that Vicki insists on showing cleavage. Just because she is in her 50s shouldn't mean that she should be relegated to wearing turtlenecks from here on out. I just hate that when she does show a ton of boobs for the most part she seems to wear something backless that doesn't allow for sporting a bra to support the girls and they need it.

[Current Plots Discussion: Actually Today's Episode]

Of course, the through-the-looking-glass feeling this show gives me sometimes was compounded when that pompous little shit actually ACCEPTED her crazy aunt's apology.

 

I know this happened days ago but I still can't get over it. The only way that apology would've made any sense is if Adrienne had f*cked EJ with Abby's vagina without Abby knowing it. So, no place in the universe outside of a bad punchline of I wouldn't have sex with him/her with someone else's peen/vagine.

If EJ/JS were staying on the show, I actually think his acting choices have worked out fine (even when he was calling Abigail "breaktakingly beautiful"

 

Seriously, he must have terrible asthma.

 

Seriously, I could not with this.This whole show is in bizarro world. It is so frustrating to see the jump off not be the villain in the story. I keep waiting for the 'Abby' was the sexual aggressor' shoe to drop with a video tape or something but frankly at this point, I doubt there is one and I don't think it would change anyone's mind about poor wittle Abby being the victim in all this. They would probably all blame EJ's accent for being too seductive sounding or his shirts for being too pink and Abby's fave color.

 

How can none of this be Abby's fault? All her fault? Absolutely not. Takes 2 to tango. But none of her fault? Bitches please! The only way this would be None of her fault would be had she been raped and she wasn't so stop it show. 

[S09.E18: All Apologies]

Dear Bravo,

While I am your bitch I am not a dumb bitch.  Please do not try and make this Tamra redemption happen.  That ship has long since sailed. Let the twunt drown in her own chucklefuck juices.

 

On another note, I am still laughing over Tamra maintaining to Eddie that she walked away from the ladies in Bali.  Girl, you ran away faster than a Lohan runs from a sobriety check.  Own it. 

 

I will find some way to incorporate chucklefuck juices into my life. I don't know how. LOL!  HW has such a bad influence on me. I can't stop saying Phaedra's 'fix it Jesus' to save my life. Everything from the sun being in my eyes to terrible reports of deaths and shootings on the news elicits a 'fix it Jesus' from me. I need help! 

 

Laughed uproariously at the tidbit that Tamra didn't just run to her hotel room suite in Bali but that little piggy ran all the way home and hopped on an earlier flight without the girls. Fucking coward! Too bad she doesn't keep her promises and I have to still look at her overly tight immobile face.

 

Heather's runtelldat about Shannon telling Vicki not to talk to Tamra and to stand her ground on the plane ride back was interesting. Normally I don't condone shit like that but since we are talking about Tamra here I will allow it! Tamra has one of the tightest divide,manipulate and conquer games I think I have ever seen. She was a master of that shit at Lizzie's dinner party and she would have pulled that shit at the dinner in Bali had Vicki succumbed and followed Tamra to the bathroom so I got no issue with what Shannon said. 

 

Eddie was surprisingly attentive and affectionate to Tamra. So weird because he has been so very dismissive and 'whatever bitch' about her all damn season long.

 

Nothing gets between Eddie and his ground turkey. Not Heather's phone calls and not Ryan's heart disease! LOL! Ryan could legitimately ask him the age old adage: what am I chopped liver and Eddie could answer without even lying  that Ryan isn't even on par with ground turkey.

 

This has been a very good season of OC. I enjoyed it much more than NYC. Can't wait for tonight. The reunion should be FIRE!!!!!!

[S01.E06: Occultation]

This episode was a bit tepid compared to last week but still okay. I thought the whole eclipse thing seemed a bit anti-climatic but what I liked is that we didn't have to wait long to see the dickheads and assholes get theirs. FBI guy and irrelevant boyfriend dude both had it coming.

 

Fet's eyebrows are a bit eh strong, but he could still get it.

 

 

I am more bothered by his overly dark hair and beard.  It is like they have been dyed in the color obsidian deep space blackest of black. Yeah, but I agree, he could still get it but that is mostly because I am a sucker for men of impressive stature and build! That being said I feel like the group will only become the group once Fet has joined. Homeboy is obviously the muscle and built for vampire slaying, plus his is my fave.

 

Poor Abraham is really getting too old for this shit. I giggled and was sad when he tried to recruit the cab driver after his near miss at one of the passenger's homes. That basement scene was pretty cool. It looked as if the passenger came back in the middle of a wake (saw the little memorial and the 'grief buffet') and turned every one present. 

 

I could take this show so much more seriously if they cut out the specific locations in NYC, as not a single shot looks anything like its real life counterpart.  I intimately know that section of E 28th Street and there's no outdoor market or payphone, let alone a phonebook.  Or snappy new houses in Woodside.  Or broad, sweeping avenues in Red Hook.  Iconic images of the skyline and a diverse cast are enough to convey an NYC setting.

 

I am now referring to The Strain locale as New Canadork. Yes, it is getting ridiculously hilarious. The phone book especially had me shaking my damn head. If that had indeed been NY, NY there wouldn't be a one in tact - the homeless would use them for toilet paper and the dope heads would roll joints for them.

 

Nora's mom really does look like Rita Morena.

 

Eph's family situation continues to bore me. The only interesting development there was that his wife did in fact know that Nora was his sidepiece. Once again Eph is as clueless as always when it comes to his home life because episode 1 he was pretty damn sure his wife had no clue about them. LOL!

[S07.E09: Love Is To Die]

 

I was really annoyed when Sookie showed up at Sam's house I like that he is getting his happily ever after. However, I felt like Sookie just ran to him as soon as bill turned her away. I always hated the way she treated Sam.

What I wouldn't have given to see Sam's letter to Sookie read as follows: "Bye Felicia!"

 

I had forgotten how much I floved Jessica and Hoyt. 

 

I just can't with Jason's love/sex life. I just can't. I feel like I could get an STD just watching Jason's ho ass. I really don't care about him or Bridget. I kinda started not liking her last episode with that I am coming with you on official police business not matter what you say. With the exception of Jessica, I have hated all his love interests. 

 

Winner this episode by a landslide - Ginger! Get that Northman dick girl! That was hilarious! I epect to be seeing that made into a gif and seeing it everywhere!

[S09.E18: All Apologies]

 

Ha ha, I did laugh at the scene with Tamra on the phone acting melodramatic while Eddie is silently cooking his ground turkey in the background.

I was wondering what Tamra was shoveling into that skillet. That look completely unappetizing. Did she at least season the ground turkey meat before dumping the canned of pre-made sauce on top?

 

Oh Miss Terry is gonna have his petticoats in a bunch and catching the vapors next episode. What a dick oops let me get all American Medical Association on this - I am penis. Miss Terry is a big, cheese emitting penis! He was just determined to be outraged. Loved that Dave did a preemptive apology seemingly even before the Dubrows got a chance to even so hello to him. David gave not one of those sorry if you were offended half ass apologies either. He gave a whole-hearted apology saying his actions were wrong and that he was sorry. Full stop period. Miss Terry was just so upset that he didn't have a chance to grandstand and appear righteously indignant over the crass comments about his wife.  He just disregards the apology and forges on. The worst of it is that he really thinks he is telling David off with that stupid penis comment. The man probably had days to plan his big moment and that was the best he could come up with. That my friends is the HW equivalent of 'jerk store' You Seinfeld fans know of what I speak. I guess what they never taught Miss Terry in med school is that once an apology has been freely and unequivocally given you either accept or reject it but to continue to browbeat the original offender who lays in front of you prostate freely admitting the wrong makes you look like a giant throbbing infected blood and pus filled hemorrhoid. 

 

I just want to kiss David full on the mouth (why stop there LOL!). Way to take the wind out of the Dubrow sails, which are no doubt of the highest quality silk spun by rare Alsatian silkworms.  

 

Why do I continue to be stunned about how gorgeously perfect Vicki's backyard looks? I fucking love it! Best one out of all the franchises. It puts all the millionaire backyards to shame. Shannon's is pretty pedestrian by comparison. Heather's former home was alright but still couldn't hold a candle to Vicki's.

[Ghosts of Housewives Past]

Jeana's tweet from a few days ago gave me a giggle-

 

"whoo hoo Shane Keough passed his real estate test on the first try! I am so proud of my son."

 

She sounds surprised he actually passed.  Um, I am too.  Did mama Jeana write the answers on his hand?

 

Here's hoping he doesn't show up on Million Dollar Listing LA. Maybe Cat crap condo OC will get picked up.

 

I remember Kimberly Bryant, well I mainly remember her having the worst set of breast implants I have ever seen in my life, and she had awful hair but I can't recall her kids to save my life. 

 

Lauri, Babe, OC register and TWOP? I consider that the heyday of the OC. Damn that shit was good! So much dirty, illicit gossip. The only thing bad was the intermittent board shutdowns. I had so much snark building up with no place to post, I felt like a septic tank about to explode. Horrible analogy, I know.

 

I am surprised that Lauri and Babe are still married. 

 

Quinn's Roxy routine has got to be one of the most cringe worthy scenes in OC history. That was just awkward and I was embarrassed for her. TWOP was merciless with her. I do get a giggle every time I think of the nicknames we had forever, which were of course, the time before they banned use of nicknames. People called her Quim and my personal fave - mile long cleavage. I couldn't believe those were implants. 

 

 

Peggy is so weird looking, worse in person and Micah is just a douche.

Every time I saw Peggy I thought she could have been the granddaughter of that scary ass preacher man from Poltergeist 2

 

 

 

I have never cared for Jeana Keough and her family. Something very Eeyore about her. 

[S09.E17: Eat, Pray, Run]

 IIRC, the first season she was on she was showing some of the women the Botox she had in her fridge so Terry could do touch ups for her. Her eyebrows are waaayyyy too high on her forehead, the result of poorly done Botox.

 

Can botox really do all that? I was under the impression that botox can provide you with a mild brow lift but Heather's eyebrows seem a bit extreme to me. Frankly, I think she had a brow lift. Those things are practically touching her hairline. 

 

 

Nah, not so much thin-skinned.  Maybe deluded.  I've seen marriages like this.  Where the guy is obviously gay, but the wife is in total denial.

 

The "obviously gay" makes me a bit sad. The man has been on screen for what probably amounts to less than 5 minutes, uttered about 2-3 sentences and the world has come to the 100% conclusion that he is gay - not that there is anything wrong with that. I am casting no shade or judgement on the poster who said this because I am totally guilty of the same thing. Can't even lie on myself and I feel bad about it mainly because I shouldn't be stereotyping people's behavior and mannerisms. No doubt that the man has what would and has been viewed as stereotypically gay characteristics. I'm talking Nathan Lane from The Birdcage here. Maybe he is gay? Maybe he is a very effeminate straight man? Maybe he is bi and they are both cool with it? 

 

The audience is gonna think what the audience is gonna think. Strangers speculate and the internet is one large breakroom with people gossiping around the water cooler. However, it is another thing to bring it up to a person in a committed relationship with children on a televised program. I sure as hell hope that Tamra didn't try and drag his ass out of the closet on screen!

[S09.E17: Eat, Pray, Run]

He looks like Ruth Buzzi.

LOL! I see the Gomer Pyle resemblance. So much so that I just want him to bust out and say 'well golllyyyy!' However, I never thought about Ruth Buzzi, but damned if it ain't true. I think he has Jim Nabors face with Ruth Buzzi's french bread chin. How dreadful!

 

Back to Heather's hyprocrisy. Whatever happened to the whole if everyone says your dead than your dead and why does it not apply to her or her 'good friend' Tamra? 

[Tamra Judge: Naked Wasted]

 

Tamra wrapped up with, “When I met Shannon, Heather and I were in a little bit of a disagreement. So I honestly feel like Shannon was taking advantage of that and trying to drill me for information to use against Heather on the show. Shannon would constantly tell me that Heather is not a nice person and that I should be careful of her, that she was black in the eyes. I really feel like she was a super fan of the show and studied every episode. That all became very clear to me when we were shooting the scene in my living room about the email. As soon as the cameras went down she stopped crying, Shannon said to me, ‘Do you know that the highest rated episode ever was when you yelled at Simon that you wanted a divorce? Divorces are great for realty TV.’ First of all, NO, I did not know that, and second, if you just got really bad news about your family is that the first thing you say when the cameras go down? NO! If my husband just told me he was going to leave me I would be devastated and the last thing on my mind would be the ratings.”

 

Was Shannon stroking a cat and planning world domination at the time too? LOL! Tamra should sell this as fanfiction entitled 50 shades of reality, none of them true.

 

Like any of Tamra's crying on screen involves actual tears and emotion. 

 

Is this really the best she could do? 

[S09.E17: Eat, Pray, Run]

I was so annoyed on WWHL because Heather says its all rumors and a game of telephone, like its the other ladies' fault for stirring up this drama about things Tamara has said. Then a caller has a great question for Terry about why isn't he upset with Eddie since he said the worst things about Heather and was the ring leader about saying nasty things at the hoedown, and Terry responds that they didn't hear David's comment but someone told them. So, when other people get upset about nasty comments they didn't hear firsthand its all "rumors and telephone games", but when the nasty comments are about yourselves its justifiable to go on the attack? Talk about acting like the King and Queen of Penisland (to use your own words).

This is funny given how Heather was going by the alleged words of Nordstrom employees to crucify Alexis. That was 2nd or 3rd/4th hand information or was she claiming to be ducking behind sock displays listening to Alexis and her husband shop or did she actually work in Nordstrom's HR dept to hear it all 1st hand? Gurl, bye!

 

As for the Shannon apology, on WWHL she explained that Vicki brought up the "Terry is mad at David" issue during the dinner, which is why Heather was discussing it with Shannon.

 

If this is true then that makes me even madder at Vicki. She can pipe up to talk about the rodeo mess that transpired months ago which can and will re-ignite the Beador/Dubrow feud but can't open her porcine mouth to say that Tamra made the 'take the Beadors down' comment to her too.