Skyler Durden

Tara, you just linkcepted^ Was that supposed to be an external link?

One more thing...I was giving Aisha the benefit of the doubt when she said she didn't see it coming, until I remembered that she still supposedly talks to Trez, right? And he's a mechanic, right!? What are the chances that these two "best friends" are both dating/used to date mechanics and they never had a conversation about what a weird coincidence that was?

1. I hope that poor knock-off Rob Corddry dude got compensated for being mocked on national TV after literally having nothing to do with these kids and their trashy drama. 2. That baby may have a stupid name, but godDAMN was she cute. She looked like a baby Brandi. 3. I am not a crackpot, but TV Producers should have the right to rip the false eyelashes off of every bitch who doesn't know how to apply them properly.

My two favorites, Virgil and Jim, made it, so I am pretty happy. The women are almost completely lost on me though. Yaya is my favorite but won't last, and all of the rest look like Fox News blondes to me - completely interchangeable and forgettable. Asaf was a mouthy A-hole and I am glad to see him gone. (He can still go to Vegas though, because he could make a killing as an Elvis impersonator. Seriously - go back and look at the tape. Once you see it, you can't un-see it.) Denys could have bowed out to be with his girlfriend and it would have been swoony and charming and oh-so-romantic. (Dumb, but romantic). But he too decided to mouth off, so Bye Felicia.

I thought Virgil was wonderful; the Bronx B-Boy was also a highlight for me. My DVR crapped out with 20 minutes left, so I never got to see the one chick I was waiting for: She was featured in one of the "coming -up" montages, but I don't know if they ever actually showed her. She did a sideways cartwheel thingy and it looked like she landed on one foot while "catching" the other foot in her hand? Did anyone see this? Did I hallucinate that?

I thought Piper had 12 months. You can track the passage of time by the growth of Daya's baby - remember, Piper and Daya were admitted on the same day. (The minute they entered the prison together, Aleida popped up out of nowhere and cold-cocked Daya) (I mean, 12 months total. Not 12 months left.)

I felt like she hadn't choreographed enough and thought they'd stop her but when they didn't, she had to take a moment to go "Oh crap, I have to keep going. OMFG, I know, right?!? There were several instances where she basically broke character. She reminded me of a gymnast doing a floor routine, casually dropping character as she set up her next up for the next round of tricks. Brooke was my favorite so far, mostly because I love a good spin. No one is standing out for me yet as The One, and no one has made me cry yet.

I don't know how I feel about this review. I hate to be one of those assholes who say things like "if you don't like it, don't watch", and I will try not to be here... I have been watching AGT for a few years now and consider it to be my guilty summer pleasure. I think if you allow yourself to get upset by the pageant kids or the pushy puppets, you're REALLY going to hate this ride. And at two hours a week PLUS a third hour for weekly eliminations, it's a LONG fucking ride. Remember this: the cheesy, hideous, train-wreck acts are only for the first few shows, and even when they make it to Vegas, they DON'T make it to the live shows. Once the live shows begin, it becomes really repetitive as the acts basically repeat themselves and you might even find yourself missing the silliness of the opening weeks.

I could have sworn that I either read or heard Ru say that after the India/Mimi incident a rule was put into place that you must stay on the stage during the lip synch. YES! I heard that too, although I don't remember from where (it was from something behind the scenes, like a "moments that made us gag" show or something). There was a rule that you can't leave the stage. You're not imagining it. Katya not even making it to the top three was a complete shocker. I thought she was a LOCK to win. She's the only queen I was rooting for.

I have to admit to being a little clueless. Why did Mellie act like she was about to kill Liz over "lean in"? Lean in is a book by by Nell Scovell and Sheryl Sandberg about powerful ladies bein' powerful. The implication was that Mellie use her son's death as an opportunity to pander for votes. It IS kind of gross when you think about it. Also, what is Lizzie still doing on this show? Her boss is a vegetable and she was recently flayed, Jamie Fraser style. WHY is she still working with these people?

I feel like that's fairly public information. Is it? I don't know the first family's code names, do you? (asking for a friend)

Thanks <3

Before I listen, can someone please assuage my fears and confirm that there are no spoilers for the three remaining leaked episodes of GoT?

I like how Huck signed the immunity agreement and then walked out of the room, still clutching it. That's not how paperwork works, honey.

SOO relieved that other people were as repulsed as I was by Marcus' mouth smegma. Those producers are evil monsters for not wiping that shit off his face first.

1. I won't jump on the Selita hate bandwagon. I thought she was a nice girl. However, I do agree that she was an unnecessary third wheel and I don't think she added anything special. 2. Bianca has a funky style (some people like big gauges, Judgy McJudgersons) and a mildly Pousseyish face. In a big city, girlfriend will be swimming in willing vagine. Someone buy her a ticket to San Francisco, like, yesterday. 3. Special guest Billy Eichner?

I'm disappointed by the number of people confusing Kendra's weight with a personality trait. There's no need to hate on a chick because she's fat. You can hate her because she's a deeply unpleasant pathological liar. And you don't have to sympathize with Blake because he is good looking. He's clearly a gullible, shallow loser. Good genes don't equal human value. His "huge mistake" face was so transparent and shitty that I nearly punched my TV. Also sidebar. I love Tara, but I am always sad when a grown woman feels the need to make catty mean-girl remarks about peoples' appearances, whether it's their lip injections or their questionable fashion sense. Also, the item on the bucket list about Max holding a big boy camera can be crossed off now.