Switched At Birth - General Discussion

[Scarlett45]

Emmett handled the conversation with Bay very maturely. He wants to get back together she just wants to be friends- he can’t handle that, but he didn’t make it about her or try to guilt trip her into taking him back. It just is what it is. I completely forgot their was a “Teo” character (for one episode) and then we got “Noah” who has the same disease Katie LeClerc has in real life. Likely the Teo actor got another job. 
 

Poor Travis- this kid has been completely neglected by his birth family because of their prejudice and laziness and now he has no where to live!! Getting into fights?
 

Maybe because he can’t COMMUNICATE with the people in his household because you guys never bothered to fucking parent your son. IMO he’s better off without them but he does need somewhere to live. telling Daphne “oh you’re the one who talks”, like Travis doesnt speak as rebellion to make her life harder. Fuck you sweetie (sorry I just got mad).
 

Our culture is so focused on oral communication being an indicator of humanity even in the 21st century- and I it get it, the ability for complex communication is likely what pushed us from another species of big mammal to the dominant species on the planet. But the notion that people who don’t speak are sub human still exists and it pisses me off. People are afraid of other people who don’t speak (I’ve observed this out in public with my sister). 

[Scarlett45]

Emmett telling Daphne she’s only into hearing guys- I wanted to discuss this.

First I want to say anyone is free to date/marry whomever they want:

But as a trend (I’m talking social trends not individual choice) women with physical disabilities (yes I know some Deaf ppl arent disabled), are more likely to partner with non disabled men than vice versa. (Disabled men partnering with non disabled women)
 

I personally feel this is for two big reasons: firstly in the heteronormative frame work women are still expected to carry the emotional weight and nurturing in the relationship- having a physical disability often doesn’t stop women from fulfilling that role in the relationship and if she does need a caregiver you can always pay someone to do that. Secondly women are socialized more than men- they are talked to more, nurtured more, demonstrated how to get their emotional needs met. So even if a woman isn’t “ideal” in the eyes of our ablest society, if she wants a relationship she will go out and TRY to find one (sometimes try too hard and end up with an user or an abuser), but she will try.

On the flip side, men are still expected to be the task maskers and earners in relationships- wives traditionally take care of their husbands later in life, but that’s AFTER decades of him fulfilling the “male” role. If a man has a physical disability it’s perceived than he can’t be the task master or earner, he’s less attractive in society. Secondly poor attention is paid to the emotional needs of boys- boys are taught to go out and get money and power and sex and then a woman will help them navigate their emotional lives (gag me but it’s true)- so if a young boy can’t (or has more difficulty) performing in these masculine ways to gain esteem his emotional needs are even more neglected. He can become angry and bitter and socially isolated- and THAT isn’t fucking attractive when trying to find a partner. 
 

Let’s look at Travis- he’s just a kid (barely an adult) who’s been treated terribly and emotionally neglected. He’s justifiably angry about that but it doesn’t make him the best candidate for a boyfriend does it??
 

So I say all this to say that it’s pretty realistic that Daphne has dated more hearing guys than Emmett has hearing girls, especially since Daphne is oral. More Deaf women marrying Hearing men in real life. 

[Scarlett45]

To Daphne & Travis- anyone can be robbed. And yes they were targeted. Poor kids. 
 

Regina NOOOOOOO DONT DRINK!!!!!!!! Adrianna was right, Angelo and his drama isn’t good for Regina but he didn’t make her drink. I’m not surprised she did though. Between her hand injuries, losing her job, Angelo drama, the switch coming out I am not surprised she drank- but I’m so sad to see it. 

[Perfect Xero]

On 8/17/2020 at 10:49 PM, Scarlett45 said:

So- you know I’m no Angelo fan, but that doesn’t mean the guy is wrong all the time. Asking for a DNA test when a one night stand (or anyone you aren’t married/seriously committed to) is a perfectly reasonable thing in my opinion. And also- if a woman chooses to carry a pregnancy to term, “handling it yourself” isn’t really the moral thing to do (exceptions being if you reasonably believe the man is a danger to you or the baby). Bio fathers have a right to know they have a child out there in the world- and yeah they can raise it and leave you out of it etc but just NOT telling the guy cause you just don’t feel like it doesn’t make a lick of sense.

I'm well behind you guys on the rewatch but that was a very frustrating story, especially since it felt like everyone on the show just sided with the mother, and pretty much ignored that the adopting couple was fine with adopting a KIDNAPPED child.

Quote

I distinctly remember tweeting Marlee Marlin all those years ago after the speech Melody gave Daphne about not disrespecting the forebears who fought for rights she takes for granted. As a black woman that resonated with me. 

Again, well behind on the re-watching, but wasn't that speech about the aforementioned Chef Jeff "affair", or is this a different one?

[Scarlett45]

On 8/19/2020 at 7:50 PM, Perfect Xero said:

Again, well behind on the re-watching, but wasn't that speech about the aforementioned Chef Jeff "affair", or is this a different one?

Yes the speech wasn’t about her sleeping with Chef Jeff (Melody specifically states that wasn’t her point) but about Daphne throwing away the great opportunity to work in the kitchen BECAUSE she was sleeping with Chef Jeff, which was foolish because she might not get that chance again. 

 

On 8/19/2020 at 7:50 PM, Perfect Xero said:

I'm well behind you guys on the rewatch but that was a very frustrating story, especially since it felt like everyone on the show just sided with the mother, and pretty much ignored that the adopting couple was fine with adopting a KIDNAPPED child.

Yeah that wasn’t cool. If the genders were reversed no one would blame a woman for trying to get her baby back after only 4 months when it was placed for adoption without her consent. Again- NO FAN OF ANGELO here, but there he wasn’t wrong. 

[sara416]

I'm at a point in this show now that I haven't seen before. I didn't last very long the first time around apprently, because of my aforementioned tendency to multitask while watching tv. I kind of like that this show makes me stop doing that and focus on what I am watching so I am actually watching tv to relax and not just for background noise. 

I was impressed that this show didn't try to go with some very dramatic storyline with Regina going back to rehab. She didn't drink and drive, she didn't do something craxy, she jjust started drinking again and realized she needed help. So often shows will go for something over the top to get someone to realize they need help and they didn't with Regina. I appreciate her willingness to stop and get the help she needs before it got to that point. I just finished the episode where she left. 

I realized this week that the Angelo actor really reminds me of Goran Visnjic. The complexion and dark hair and somewhat brooding persona at times gets me. I still don't like him though. 

@Scarlett45, my app sometimes skips episodes too. I'm not sure I realized it until recently. That being said, did I miss something with REgina and how she injured her wrist? Things were fine, and then suddenly she was wearing a brace and it became so bad that she couldn't cut hair or sign anymore. I really feel like I missed something and the story line was bigger than that. 

I'm totally with you on Travis. It baffles me why his family never learned to sign. As a society though, we always default to the "norm". We want deaf people to adapt to be more like hearing people, we want blind people to find accomodations to be more like seeing people, and we want anyone with another disability to find ways to exist in the rest of the world. More and more I am hearing calls of "snowflake" when all people are asking are for accomodations to be made for people who do not have the privilege to be ambualtory with all senses in tact and no physical or mental health conditions. It's infuriating. I can completely understand what Daphne and the other students were saying and why they don't want more hearing kids at their school, especially if they are not going to be forced to learn ASL or sign. THen it becomes just like any other school, where they are expected to adapt instead of the other way around. 

 

[Scarlett45]

“Never under estimate the power of a rich white hearing person.” HA!!! Oh Melody. 
 

I remember when this episode aired, how ground breaking it was. There had never been an entire episode of TV in ASL before. 
 

Awww Travis, wishing he had gone to Carlton when he was little. You guys know I have a soft spot for Travis and I follow Ryan Lane on Instagram. 

[Perfect Xero]

So the rewatch reminded me of this recap video they did for season 1:

One part of this video has confused me for years, and that's that it goes out of its way to say that Bay should have figured out that she wasn't related to the family because of the hair. It then shows an animated depiction of the four with Toby, Kathryn, and John all drawn with very bright blond/yellow hair and Bay with dark hair.

The video includes clear live action shots where we can clearly see that Kathryn is a red head like Daphne and John has graying dark brown hair that is probably only a shade or two lighter than Bay's. (In fact the only actual blond of the bunch, Toby/Lucas, was the one dying his hair red in early season 1 episodes to match Daphne and Kathryn).

I've always been at a complete loss as to why they would try to gaslight the viewers that the Kennish family are all blondes when that is blatantly not the case. Why mention the hair at all? It makes no sense!

[Scarlett45]

7 hours ago, Perfect Xero said:

So the rewatch reminded me of this recap video they did for season 1:

One part of this video has confused me for years, and that's that it goes out of its way to say that Bay should have figured out that she wasn't related to the family because of the hair. It then shows an animated depiction of the four with Toby, Kathryn, and John all drawn with very bright blond/yellow hair and Bay with dark hair.

The video includes clear live action shots where we can clearly see that Kathryn is a red head like Daphne and John has graying dark brown hair that is probably only a shade or two lighter than Bay's. (In fact the only actual blond of the bunch, Toby/Lucas, was the one dying his hair red in early season 1 episodes to match Daphne and Kathryn).

I've always been at a complete loss as to why they would try to gaslight the viewers that the Kennish family are all blondes when that is blatantly not the case. Why mention the hair at all? It makes no sense!

No idea. White people are obsessed with hair color like POC are obsessed with skin color. 🤣🤣🤣

Maybe they are using the term “blonde” the way white people use the word “dark”- when I was a little girl I asked my father how all the Disney princes could be “tall, dark and handsome” when they were all white???(this was before Aladdin). He explained to me that to Caucasian people “dark” means “brown hair and eyes”. So “blonde” means anyone with light hair. Katherine is clearly a red head (as is Daphne). 
 

There’s no reason why anyone would’ve thought about the switch. Angelo got Daphne DNA tested because he didn’t trust Regina, they didn’t have a stable relationship and he didn’t want to parent a Deaf child. PERIOD. Angelo said he’s French, Italian, Algerian, while Regina is Puerto Rican and some other type of Latina- yes it’s rare but they could've had a red headed child, have any of these writers ever lived in a multi ethnic family before??

 

Im right there with you. 
 

another thought on the “occupy Carlton”- no Bay shouldn’t have spoken to the reporter. She meant well but it wasn’t her story to tell. She’s not a bad person, and it’s a completely understandable faux pas. Daphne and Noah had no business kissing, but I’m not shocked. Daphne should’ve just admitted it rather than getting all defensive but she was mad at Bay. 

Toby and his GF- I think they just didn’t have anything for Toby to do after Wilke left. I wish they had given him another friend, this relationship feels so superficial and I am not invested in it. See I cannot even remember her name.

[luckyroll3]

9 hours ago, Perfect Xero said:

So the rewatch reminded me of this recap video they did for season 1:

One part of this video has confused me for years, and that's that it goes out of its way to say that Bay should have figured out that she wasn't related to the family because of the hair. It then shows an animated depiction of the four with Toby, Kathryn, and John all drawn with very bright blond/yellow hair and Bay with dark hair.

The video includes clear live action shots where we can clearly see that Kathryn is a red head like Daphne and John has graying dark brown hair that is probably only a shade or two lighter than Bay's. (In fact the only actual blond of the bunch, Toby/Lucas, was the one dying his hair red in early season 1 episodes to match Daphne and Kathryn).

I've always been at a complete loss as to why they would try to gaslight the viewers that the Kennish family are all blondes when that is blatantly not the case. Why mention the hair at all? It makes no sense!

It was driving me batshit crazy that many, many times in season 1 they kept referring to everyone in the family as blonde and I was like, aren't Katherine and Daphne red heads?????  I was so confused and just assumed it was a white thing! Lol!

On 8/23/2020 at 4:55 PM, sara416 said:

That being said, did I miss something with REgina and how she injured her wrist? Things were fine, and then suddenly she was wearing a brace and it became so bad that she couldn't cut hair or sign anymore. I really feel like I missed something and the story line was bigger than that. 

I don't think you missed anything. Regina was wearing a brace in the premier episode of season 2, which made me think that something happened to the actress in real life in between filming of the seasons and they added it into the storyline.

17 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Awww Travis, wishing he had gone to Carlton when he was little. You guys know I have a soft spot for Travis and I follow Ryan Lane on Instagram. 

I also heart Travis.  I always want someone to give him a big ass bear hug every time he comes on screen.  He needs lots of hugs!

[Scarlett45]

@sara416 & @luckyroll3 Constance Marie injured her wrists from her rapid training in ASL, so they had Regina develop severe tendentious- no more signing or hair cutting or it would get worse far before her time. 
 

Constance Marie acted the hell out of Regina being embarrassed. I could feel it through her pores. Those years ago she got sober to be the best parent she could to Daphne (which she has been) and now she feels displaced by the Kennishes and Daphne is growing up and doesn’t need her as much. Even in a world without the switch I could see Regina drinking again when Daphne went off to college. 
 

Still not an Angelo fan but he did the right thing calling Adrianna and sending Regina to rehab. I don’t think he’s an evil man but he’s far too impulsive and irresponsible to be someone’s parent or life partner. Again, that doesn’t mean Lana had any right to KIDNAP the baby from the hospital. If Angelo had done that pitch forks would’ve come out. Why didn’t she just sign over primary custody to Angelo and pay child support after she got out of med school?(which would’ve been totally fair mind you!)
 

#shallowbus I need a deep condition treatment because I’m loving Lana’s hair!

[sara416]

Thank you for that info! That's fascinating that she injured herself that badly with it, but I can see how that could happen.

I'm going to sit next to you on the shallow bus (okay, maybe I'll social distance with you on the shallow bus) because Bay is hair goals every episode. 

[Perfect Xero]

8 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

No idea. White people are obsessed with hair color like POC are obsessed with skin color. 🤣🤣🤣

Maybe they are using the term “blonde” the way white people use the word “dark”- when I was a little girl I asked my father how all the Disney princes could be “tall, dark and handsome” when they were all white???(this was before Aladdin). He explained to me that to Caucasian people “dark” means “brown hair and eyes”. So “blonde” means anyone with light hair. Katherine is clearly a red head (as is Daphne). 

As a hair color obsessed white person (lol) I've never heard blonde used as a descriptor for red hair anywhere outside this show. There's a lot of dynamics about gingers/red hair being somewhat discriminated against historically in particular in European communities that make it quite odd IMO.

Even then if they're saying Red hair=blonde there's John/DW whose hair is clearly dark brown  and not even far off of Bay's hair color being called blond. It's just so odd, like they had a basic description of the family and Daphne in the pilot script as a bunch of blondes and bay as the odd duck brunette and they just stuck with it even though the casting doesn't match it.

3 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

It was driving me batshit crazy that many, many times in season 1 they kept referring to everyone in the family as blonde and I was like, aren't Katherine and Daphne red heads?????  I was so confused and just assumed it was a white thing! Lol!

Yes! Regina is always saying Daphne was so blonde as a baby, it makes me wonder if some third kid got switched with her at some point.

9 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Toby and his GF- I think they just didn’t have anything for Toby to do after Wilke left. I wish they had given him another friend, this relationship feels so superficial and I am not invested in it. See I cannot even remember her name.

Losing Wilke combined with Emmett and Simone cheating with each other pretty much wrecked what had been an interesting dynamic among the teens with the band and interconnected relationships giving them all multiple organic ways to be involved in each other's stories.

And, yeah, this was the start of basically every storyline they gave Toby for the rest of the series that didn't directly involve Bay being a clunker. The only story they did with Toby that I remember really liking when was when he was coaching field hockey at Carlton and got involved in helping Sharee.

[Scarlett45]

21 minutes ago, Perfect Xero said:

Losing Wilke combined with Emmett and Simone cheating with each other pretty much wrecked what had been an interesting dynamic among the teens with the band and interconnected relationships giving them all multiple organic ways to be involved in each other's stories.

I agree. If Austin Butler hadn’t gotten that role on the Carrie Dairies I think he would’ve added so much to the show. I loved Emmett in the band. 
 

And then Adrianna’s actress got the job on Jane the Virgin and that took away a friend for Regina (at least the writers explained where Adrianna was!)

 

Ty comes back!!!! Yay! He looks CUTE with the shorter hair. 

[Scarlett45]

@sara416 yah Bay’s hair is GORGEOUS every single scene. 
 

I am so disappointed in Regina for drinking again but I’m glad she got help. She is hot headed and defensive, but I understood what she was saying to Bay about the guilt. Not that I think Regina doesn’t care about Bay or have affection for her, but Regina made peace with not being Bay’s Mom 13 years ago and focused on raising the child in her care. She doesn’t have any emotional claims on Bay outside of being a friend (similar to someone who places their child for adoption as an infant and meets them as an adult).  And also Regina is insecure about not having as much money as the Kennishes and not having as much stability to give to Bay (she said as much in episode 2 of season 1).

Where as J & K have made no emotional peace with anything (because they didn’t know!) and fully want to be Daphne’s parents as they only see all the years they missed out on. 
 

Mary Beth!! Hi Mary Beth. Now why did we finally get a plus size character and have her dressed so badly. Ugh. But we love Mary Beth. 

[sara416]

I finished Season 2. That one went a lot faster. 

I'm NOT going to nit pcik all the military stuff that was very, very wrong in those episodes because then I would be my husband. But I do want to point out that as damn good as Ty looked in that black tank top, no such thing would be allowed to happen in uniform. Nor would Bay be allowed on base unescorted, especially post 9/11. Nor would a medic be in the same unit as a mechanic....okay, I'll stop now. 

I loved Maui. It was a great quirky little place and it was a perfect place for Bay to work. I love the characters that came with it. I also love Mary Beth and really wish they would have had a plus sized character that wasn't the shy frumpy girl. She had a lot of potential and seems like she could have been a great addition to the core group. I hope she comes back in seasopn 3, but I'm not going to hold my breath. 

I did not like Jace. I thought he was super shady and although the storyline didn't go where I thought it would, I still don't like him. And I still really don't like Angelo. The whole custody story line went really fast too. I had a client a few years ago who was adopted by two gay dads and it made me so happy. This storyline just made me think about how that kid is doing and I really hope he is thriving. The dads were so sweet and just amazing people. 

I don't have any feelings one way or another about Emmett's dad, but the scene where he is able to hear made me tear up, not gonna lie. I'm glad he was happy with his choice. You never really think about all the things in the world that make noise. I know it is not remotely the same, but we had out power go out during a storm once and I happened to be in the house when the power went back on. I never realized how many things I own that just make white noise in the background of my life! Not to mention things like papers shuffling, drinking and eating, and mundane things like typing. I love the education that this show is providing for people who have not had a lot of experience in the deaf world. 

On a personal note, I'm really inspired right now to take ASL classes. They were offered when I went to college, but the spots were reserved for Communication Disorder majors and if there were any spots left they opened them up to other people for electives. I found a non for profit near me that has basic classes for a really good price, but the time doesn't work for me. I wonder if there is anything online that I can do at my own pace. This show is providing some immersion learning though, and I really like it!

[Scarlett45]

@sara416 Mary Beth does come back. 
 

Ty is damn fine but he’s too old for Bay. Not that I think he’s a predator but she’s not even 18!(she will be 18 the October after this summer) And hes 20/21 by this point (I know he was 19 when he left and it’s been over a year). 
 

After the Carlton take over episode in ASL I LOVED the episode where we live in an alternate universe that Regina told about the switch.
 

It all seemed very realistic in how people reacted and how the kids personalities developed. I did enjoy how Bay was super academic now that she felt she had to be a model minority (didn’t I mention up thread about Daphne’s need to be a model minority). The cracks in John and Katherine’s marriage aren’t surprising given how young they would be and the stress of the switch situation with toddlers compared to teens.  Also John being the permissive one with all of the “Dad Guilt” over having a deaf child. 

8 hours ago, sara416 said:

On a personal note, I'm really inspired right now to take ASL classes. They were offered when I went to college, but the spots were reserved for Communication Disorder majors and if there were any spots left they opened them up to other people for electives. I found a non for profit near me that has basic classes for a really good price, but the time doesn't work for me. I wonder if there is anything online that I can do at my own pace. This show is providing some immersion learning though, and I really like it!

Yes I’m researching formal online classes too! I will let you know what I decide on. 

[luckyroll3]

Im almost through season 2 and I am so annoyed that now they're dropping the Angelo is French AND Italian thing.  It's come up multiple times, including a scene where he said something in Italian or about Italian food, and the lady said, "oh, are you Italian" and his response was, "no, French." Why can't TV writers ever keep any of this shit straight?

20 hours ago, sara416 said:

I don't have any feelings one way or another about Emmett's dad, but the scene where he is able to hear made me tear up, not gonna lie. I'm glad he was happy with his choice. You never really think about all the things in the world that make noise.

I just watched this scene a minute ago.

I can't remember what Daphne's British boyfriend's name is.  While i'm generally indifferent about him, I was cheering so loud when he called her on her shit about not being truthful with herself about the type of person she is. I know the show is trying to push the "he's bad and she's good" narrative, but fuck that.  

 

 

[Scarlett45]

16 minutes ago, luckyroll3 said:

I can't remember what Daphne's British boyfriend's name is.  While i'm generally indifferent about him, I was cheering so loud when he called her on her shit about not being truthful with herself about the type of person she is. I know the show is trying to push the "he's bad and she's good" narrative, but fuck that.  

I agree (his name is Jace). Daphne can be self righteous sometimes and it was good to have someone call her on that. 

[Scarlett45]

I had forgotten how good Travis is at fixing things. Emmett has not had much to do in the back half of season 2. Ty is hot. 
 

And I forgot how cute Baby Abby is! Omg those cheeks I swear. 

[Perfect Xero]

I had completely forgotten about Maui Kansas and what a big part of the show it was.

[Scarlett45]

Chef Jeff can fuck off- he’s the one that FUCKED a teenager, who was WORKING for him. Yeah if I, as an adult woman found out my fiancé did that I would be PISSED, and yeah would call him a predator!*
 

How is this Daphne’s fault? I love how these people (like Jeff and Angelo), do things and then whine when they have to accept consequences???

 

*for the record Jace had no business putting Daphne’s thing with Chef Jeff on front street. 

[Scarlett45]

Season 2:

 

Travis and Mary Beth are THE CUTEST and the second cutest is Baby Abby. Those cheeks, I. Am. Dying. 
 

Why did Toby want to get married again??? I did like the dress Daphne wore to the rehearsal dinner, and Nikki’s dress too. Bay’s dress was something I would buy for myself.

 

Blackmail is illegal Daphne. It was just too much. I am glad the Kennishes didn’t bail her out in the end and she accepted her punishment. That was mature I’m remembering those peplum tops that Nikki liked to wear.

I think Ty was a little punk for breakup with Bay like he did. He should’ve just told her that she’s 17 (and he’s 22 so still young) and although they had an amazing summer together he’s not expecting her to wait for him or anything like that. Why is that so hard? Making her think he slept with someone else is a cowardly thing to do. A little more direct than “let’s keep it’s simple” was in order.

 

And Angelo is just lazy and very self centered. Like a lot of people (often male people because society has different rules for women), he wants the social and emotional benefit of having a child, as well as getting to pass on his DNA, but doesn’t actually want to put in the work of RAISING said child Day in and day out.
The baby was just a fantasy to him, that looked really good when he thought he had Regina around to do the work. If he was really interested in parenting he could’ve hired more childcare help. (Like Adrianna said!) He’s a grown ass man in his 40s, not an 18yrs old making this decision. Hes not “too old”, he’s in his early 40s not 60s. He’s only interested in Bay and Daphne because the hard work is done and he can just hang out.

Get a vasectomy Angelo so this doesn’t happen again!!!

Im very much on the parents side. Why can’t they just be in love and have sex and not get married?? IF they really want to be together in 4yrs get married then. There’s a world of difference between 18 and 22/23 yrs old regarding things like this. 
 

Season 3 should be fun! I actually have plans this weekend so I might not get that far before Labor Day.

 

 

[Scarlett45]

@sara416 I am going to start the beginner course in October with this woman, I hear she’s the best for beginners, and it’s $179 which is a fair price.

https://instagram.com/aslmeredith?igshid=1uyz1pkwzzgw8

[sara416]

Awesome! I'll look into it! I found a free one online, but I don't love the set up. It is good for basic things and has a video to go with each word or phrase. It's American Sign Language University. https://www.lifeprint.com/index.htm

 

Also, I'm going to start season 3 after Labor Day. I've got too much to do to even try to start it before. 

 

[luckyroll3]

Okay, I'll spend the next couple days finishing off season 2.  (Damn Netflix has had me distracted with The Game and Sister Sister!)

[luckyroll3]

Actually, I only have 2 episodes left, which is probably why I took a break.

[luckyroll3]

Only five minutes into the season 3 premier and I'm already put off by the stereotypical storyline of all the "bad" black and brown kids that were sent to Carlton to ruin the idyllic experience.  I had totally forgotten about this and I'm given it major side eye.

[sara416]

Yeah...not liking that trope.

RJ Mitte!!!! That's an exciting addition! Interesting that they are putting him in a wheelchair and saying he is there because of an accident. I know his mannerisms were exaggerated on Breaking Bad because he actually gets around much better than he appeared to on that show. 

[Scarlett45]

On 9/7/2020 at 8:35 AM, luckyroll3 said:

Only five minutes into the season 3 premier and I'm already put off by the stereotypical storyline of all the "bad" black and brown kids that were sent to Carlton to ruin the idyllic experience.  I had totally forgotten about this and I'm given it major side eye.

Yes I’m there right now. Very put off. Switched at Birth should know better. 
 

On 9/8/2020 at 12:10 PM, sara416 said:

Yeah...not liking that trope.

RJ Mitte!!!! That's an exciting addition! Interesting that they are putting him in a wheelchair and saying he is there because of an accident. I know his mannerisms were exaggerated on Breaking Bad because he actually gets around much better than he appeared to on that show. 

I remember that too. 
 

John’s disappointment in Daphne oozes through his pores. Not that I blame him one wit. 
 

The arrival of Tank- I am not having fond memories of where this goes. I feel bad for Max Alder (the actor, who still continues to work) because he’s constantly playing douche bags, here and Glee...

 

I continue to have such distain for Angelo. “I gave up Abby for you.” Hellz naw. I’m so glad Regina ripped him a new one. He is a child. It was never Regina’s responsibility to raise his child with someone else. She never said she would! Abby was his responsibility, and if he didn’t want to parent her, placing her for adoption was the appropriate thing. He did pay for for Regina’s rehab, but that’s the least he could’ve done since she married him and risked jail so he could stay in the country. Why is everything someone else’s fault with Angelo?? Yes he did apologize, but he keeps doing things like this. It’s a PATTERN.

 

And how has he spent ALL the money? He bought the condo and paid for Regina’s rehab, and he did look for the baby (outside of living regular living expenses)- they are in KC not New York, his condo couldn’t have cost that much. $5million in a year??? 

[Perfect Xero]

On 9/8/2020 at 1:14 PM, Scarlett45 said:

And how has he spent ALL the money? He bought the condo and paid for Regina’s rehab, and he did look for the baby (outside of living regular living expenses)- they are in KC not New York, his condo couldn’t have cost that much. $5million in a year??? 

Opening a restaurant is expensive, but it still seems rather unlikely that he burned through the money that fast.

John's money problems later in the series were even more head scratching to me.

[luckyroll3]

On 9/8/2020 at 1:14 PM, Scarlett45 said:

And how has he spent ALL the money? He bought the condo and paid for Regina’s rehab, and he did look for the baby (outside of living regular living expenses)- they are in KC not New York, his condo couldn’t have cost that much. $5million in a year??? 

 

3 hours ago, Perfect Xero said:

Opening a restaurant is expensive, but it still seems rather unlikely that he burned through the money that fast.

He was also building a house from scratch on the golf course (and he also paid for the property). And there was the classic car he immediately purchased. Plus, a $5 million budget is what? Just under $2 mil (I'm estimating) once you pay the lawyers and your taxes?

I kinda burned through this season very quickly.  I was not a fan of it at all.  The way the kids speak to the adults is so enraging.  All of them, with the exception of Toby, are so disrespectful. Even now, I could never speak to my parents the way they do. I might get away with an eyeroll (after I've moved several rooms away behind a closed door, lol!).  

I completely forgot about Angelo's storyline outside of the baby (what a cute chubby baby!). I have several close, personal friends who have had aneurysms or AVMs, and the quickness with how those damn things strike coupled by the damage they cause is rough. Thankfully they're fine now.

Daphne continued to be a little shit, and then still gets away with everything in the end. Gah!

I'll comment more when y'all post. 

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

He was also building a house from scratch on the golf course (and he also paid for the property). And there was the classic car he immediately purchased. Plus, a $5 million budget is what? Just under $2 mil (I'm estimating) once you pay the lawyers and your taxes?

Yes he probably did have to give the lawyers 40%, it wasn’t income or winnings so I don’t think there was federal income tax. Ok it makes more sense now, especially since he didn’t  look to have a full time job during this entire thing (I’m sure he worked when he lived in Chicago- how else did he eat?)

I know this is tv so there has to be more drama but ditto on the way these children continue to talk to their parents. I’d have the black smacked off of me if I dared. And I’m an adult with my own home!

 

2 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

I completely forgot about Angelo's storyline outside of the baby (what a cute chubby baby!).

Baby Abby is the most precious thing!! I love babies with chubby cheeks. 

[Scarlett45]

So I think Daphne (Katie LeCleric) is a pretty woman, and Daphne does have an interesting personality.
 

But the notion that everywhere she goes there are multiple men (much older) than her lining up to try to date her- wtf. She’s a HS senior, just about to turn 18, what are these grown ass men in medical school and a nurse doing “talking” to her- and worse is portrayed as “normal”(it’s legal but it’s not normal). Her dating Liam and kissing Noah- perfectly normal teen storylines. As much as I think Ty was too old for Bay, they at least met in an organic way and there weren’t 5 Ty’s trying to hook up with her. 
 

This bothers me. 

[Scarlett45]

Greek life (I mean sororities and fraternities, not the nation of Greece) is full of such toxicity. Tank not being comfortable with the “dog fight” party but not wanting to say anything reads very realistic. Don’t you love that if a woman isn’t conventionally attractive then she’s “sub-human” aka a “dog”. 
 

John is being such an ass. Katherine supported his career, raised his children, she had a right to write a damn book. So what if the kids read it- they are all 18(in a few days) or older. I highly doubt they would want to read it anyway, cause no one wants to think about their parent that way. I think Katherine threw him out because she was so mad at him for being unsupportive. It wasn’t just the kiss- the kiss alone would’ve put him in the guest room not out of the house. 
 

I enjoyed the murder mystery party by the way. After this pandemic dies down I want to throw one for my birthday. Maybe in 2022. 

[sara416]

First off, UMKC doesn't have a football team. Now that I've gotten that out of the way...

I'm torn on the Kathryn and John thing. If she is writing true stories, it seems sleazy and also not nearly disguised enough not to come across as a gossip piece. I am not really clear on what this book is supposed to be. I mean, legally of course, she can do whatever she wants and we all have a different moral compass. But it isn't something I would do. Too close to TMZ type of gossip crap. But John is being an ass about it. They seem to have changed his character a bit this season and I'm not sure why. He seems more patriarchical than he has been. 

As a therapist who has worked with adopted kids for years, I love the way they went with Travis and how Mary Beth said he was avoiding the college interview because he feels like he finally found a nest and is now being pushed out. I know he hasn't been adopted, but it is a well documented phenomenon that adopted kids often feel this way, like their adoptive parents are just going to be done with them when they turn 18 and leave. 

I also am bothered by the "too many people love me" problem with Daphne. This show has done more than focus on romantic relationships and I think it is at it's best when it does. 

Just finished the episode with the doctor and Cherie's mom. I'll be back for more later. 

 

[Scarlett45]

On 9/10/2020 at 10:51 PM, sara416 said:

As a therapist who has worked with adopted kids for years, I love the way they went with Travis and how Mary Beth said he was avoiding the college interview because he feels like he finally found a nest and is now being pushed out. I know he hasn't been adopted, but it is a well documented phenomenon that adopted kids often feel this way, like their adoptive parents are just going to be done with them when they turn 18 and leave. 

Yes- poor poor Travis! He’s not ready to leave the nest because he’s been emotionally neglected for so long. He may be chronologically 19, but he needs far more guidance and parenting because of his awful home situation. No they didn’t beat or starve him but it’s clear they emotionally neglected him out of laziness and prejudice. Sadly it happens to a lot of deaf kids. Many hearing siblings learn to sign but some parents never do. 

 

On 9/10/2020 at 10:51 PM, sara416 said:

I am not really clear on what this book is supposed to be.

I gathered that it’s an erotic novel and she’s using baseball roadie stories as inspiration. No real names or teams or anything. 

[luckyroll3]

11 hours ago, sara416 said:

I am not really clear on what this book is supposed to be.

 

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I gathered that it’s an erotic novel and she’s using baseball roadie stories as inspiration. No real names or teams or anything.

It's supposed to be similar to this:

Give Travis ALL the hugs. Poor kid. I like that Melanie is firm and loving with him, but for someone who is a counselor, it sometimes takes her a bit too long to connect the dots with what's going on with him. I also was not a fan of how often Mary Beth kept harassing him about his family. Like how many damn times does he have to tell you that he doesn't want to talk about them or reach out to them before you stop pushing? Plus he's the child. He's been living out of the house for over a year and his mom hasn't been checking for him. so let the kid live his life. Jeez.

[Perfect Xero]

14 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yes- poor poor Travis! He’s not ready to leave the nest because he’s been emotionally neglected for so long. He may be chronologically 19, but he needs far more guidance and parenting because of his awful home situation. No they didn’t beat or starve him but it’s clear they emotionally neglected him out of laziness and prejudice. Sadly it happens to a lot of deaf kids. Many hearing siblings learn to sign but parents never do. 

 

I gathered that it’s an erotic novel and she’s using baseball roadie stories as inspiration. No real names or teams or anything. 

Considering that the fake name she came up with for the character based on Sarah Lazar was Tara Mazar it doesn't seem like she tried particularly hard to hide the sources of her inspiration.

[Scarlett45]

10 hours ago, Perfect Xero said:

Considering that the fake name she came up with for the character based on Sarah Lazar was Tara Mazar it doesn't seem like she tried particularly hard to hide the sources of her inspiration.

Very true. 

23 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

I also was not a fan of how often Mary Beth kept harassing him about his family. Like how many damn times does he have to tell you that he doesn't want to talk about them or reach out to them before you stop pushing? Plus he's the child. He's been living out of the house for over a year and his mom hasn't been checking for him. so let the kid live his life. Jeez.

I agree with you. Mary Beth should’ve left it alone- but she was essentially a child too, and for a lot of people who grow up in healthy families they assume disagreements are trivial and can be worked out. Also I think Travis was her first boyfriend and she was trying to bond with him. 
 

Mary Beth should’ve respected his boundaries but I understand why she didn’t at first. 

[Scarlett45]

I’m on episode 8- as of this episode it’s clear to me Bay doesn’t like Tank, but she likes that he likes her (which is understandable and human). She’s trying, but the way she looks at him when he tries to kiss her, she’s not into him at all. AT ALL. 
 

Mary Beth looks so nice in this sweater. 

[sara416]

That dancing episode...ugh. I hate episodes like that, when shows try to throw in some musical or dance themes episode when none of them can actually dance or sing. That being said, I found myself smiling at the end of the episiode when they all danced for Kathryn. It was cute. 

[Scarlett45]

On 9/14/2020 at 11:10 AM, sara416 said:

That dancing episode...ugh. I hate episodes like that, when shows try to throw in some musical or dance themes episode when none of them can actually dance or sing. That being said, I found myself smiling at the end of the episiode when they all danced for Kathryn. It was cute. 

I too loved the end when they all danced for Katherine. It was cute and sweet. 

[Scarlett45]

I’m currently watching episode 10. 
 

Not even taking into account that we know where this goes, I don’t care for Tank’s attitude. 
 

Bay said she wasn’t sure she wanted to (have sex), the fact that Tank asked why, or did he do something wrong isn’t the issue, it was his tone and the sense of entitlement. Tank is certainly allowed to want to have sex, and he’s allowed to ask Bay if she wants to, or ask questions about where their relationship is going physically. His “confusion” I think is really rooted in the fact that he knows Bay isn’t as into him as he’s into her and he’s trying to “convince” her to be into him. 
 

I also like that Regina told Bay that just because she isn’t a Virgin doesn’t mean she can’t feel however she wants feel about sex (THANK YOU REGINA!!). So often our culture puts the focus on “virginity” and once that’s “gone” it’s like OH WELL fuck whom ever (of course I believe consenting adults can fuck whomever) just because you’ve had sex before doesn’t mean you’re open to having sexual with everyone you go on a date with. 
 

I also like how Regina told Bay how a guy responds to a “no” tells you a lot about his character. My great aunt told me the same thing. 

[possibilities]

I had a terrible feeling about Tank, long before the worst moment of their relationship that eventually blew things up.

[Scarlett45]

17 hours ago, possibilities said:

I had a terrible feeling about Tank, long before the worst moment of their relationship that eventually blew things up.

Me too. And no not just because of Max Adler’s role on gLee. I always got the impression he felt entitled to more of Bay’s attention and affection than he was getting. And in that Bay was trying to “force herself” to like him......something was off. “Nice Guy” syndrome. 
 

Im sorry Angelo died so young but I was never a fan of his. I’m sorry Regina stayed stuck on him as long as she did. He accused her of cheating- with her boss? When has Regina ever had a wondering eye? Angelo was SO emotionally immature- every time he fucked up (which he did a lot) it was always someone else’s fault. He was a grown ass man with the emotional immaturity of a middle schooler. I don’t think if the Switch hadn’t happened they would’ve stayed together. I think he would’ve found another reason to leave and AT BEST been a “school play, show up to their birthday party” type of Dad leaving Regina to do the hard work. 
 

I am glad Bay got to meet him (because she wanted to) and Daphne got to work through her feelings (because that was good for her). Best thing Angelo did was create the gorgeous Bay and sweet baby Abby, and leave money to Regina and the girls after he died. 
 

Honestly there are a lot of people like that- not evil people but very emotionally immature who manage to get by on good looks, charm, family bailing them out etc. 

 

Daphne needs to watch her tone with her Mother. In what way was the accident Regina’s fault? Angelo was only mad because he was insecure about HIS competence. No Regina shouldn’t have pulled out the gun, but that’s not what he was mad about. 
 

I know the actress who plays Adriana got a full time role on Jane the Virgin, but a mention of where Adriana was would’ve been nice. 

[Scarlett45]

Season 4 discussion starts Monday?

[Scarlett45]

Omg Nyle DiMarco is shows up in season 3!!! I totally forgot I was expecting him next season!

 

Funny story- that man is SO FINE, when I was in Vegas in 2017 I was going to see him dance in Chippendales but it wasn’t his night. I was very sad but I still got a ripped shirt from a guy 😍🤣. 

[luckyroll3]

12 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Daphne needs to watch her tone with her Mother. In what way was the accident Regina’s fault? Angelo was only mad because he was insecure about HIS competence. No Regina shouldn’t have pulled out the gun, but that’s not what he was mad about. 

This bugged the crap out of me. They both said awful things to each other; they were both angry. And I get that Daphne was grieving, but that doesn't make it okay for her to treat everyone else like shit. Once or twice? Fine, you can get a grace period. But after that, just no. I wish Adrianna was there because she never put up with any of the kids' disrespect and that was appreciated.

11 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Season 4 discussion starts Monday?

Sounds good to me.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, luckyroll3 said:

This bugged the crap out of me. They both said awful things to each other; they were both angry. And I get that Daphne was grieving, but that doesn't make it okay for her to treat everyone else like shit. Once or twice? Fine, you can get a grace period. But after that, just no. I wish Adrianna was there because she never put up with any of the kids' disrespect and that was appreciated.

No- Adrianna never would’ve stood for said disrespect. As far as saying awful things Angelo was the one that STARTED IT, and everything Regina said was actually true, AFTER he accused her of cheating. 
 

Neither of the girls are perfect, but I think because Daphne feels this need to live up to the “model minority” narrative, she holds a lot in and then EXPLODES in inappropriate ways towards people she knows will take it- like her Mom. Regina feels guilty about her deafness and the switch she puts up with that shit. #MomGuilt Destroying a construction site- really?

Im going to watch the episodes but Bay taking the fall for her? Hell no. I would’ve never.

 

I am so glad to see Lily and the storyline that follows. I’ve mentioned before that I’m a Sib (sibling of someone with a disability), my sister is 2.5yrs my junior (shes 32) and profoundly mentally disabled. Her mental age is about 2yrs old so I often call her my “Tall Toddler”🤣. Down Syndrome (DS) gets a lot of representation in the mental disability community (which I get, although as soon  as I mention my sister in real life people want to talk to me about DS😒). I think the writers did a really good job with Lily’s story and Sib experience. 

 

More Nyle DiMarco!!! He’s so hot.