Stress, Depression, Anxiety and other Mental Health-related things

[shapeshifter]

3 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

@Milburn Stone I'm just adding something to the condo conversation.  I see that @shapeshifter had posted something about no elevators in her building.  So she doesn't like her condo, but that's not really because it's a condo, but rather her particular condo

And, it’s in the 80s today but the pool is still closed — which is depressing.

[supposebly]

18 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

I’m getting anxious and over stressed about driving my son to the airport for his honeymoon. I thought it was going to be drive to their house (about an hour away), pick them up and take them to JFK. They live west of Philly. Well now I find out my DIL is taking the train with the luggage to the airport because my son has to work. He doesn’t know how long, it depends on the deliveries he has to do. We have to leave not much later than noon to get to JFK by 4pm for their International flight at 7pm. On a Friday. And he wants to take a quick shower. He also thought we could swing by his place for this, which takes us off the Tollway and adds time. If he gets done in good order, he can shower at my place since we live down the road from his work. If I can’t put the pedal to the metal, he misses his flight. So I’m anxious and stressed and will be for a week and a half.

And I know that I have no control over when he gets done with work, traffic, etc….but the brain won’t/can’t shut off and stop overthinking 🥲

In addition to everyone else's good advice, tell him to skip the shower. As someone who gets very anxious to get to the airport with time to spare, esp. larger airports, every minute counts!

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

I messaged them this: 
🟢do online check-in as soon as it’s available. 🟢DIL checks in and pays for the 2 suitcases online so she can just drop them off when she gets there (bags should both be in her name). 🟢Son pleads with boss to get him out as soon as she can. 🟢I would think we would need to be on the road no later than noon to get son to JFK by 4:00. 🟢Son should just have his carry-on. 🟢He’ll leave his car with us and dad and I will get it back to his house.…

✅ ✅ ✅ ☑️ ✅ ✅
Tell him no later than 11:30 a.m. This allows for the inevitable: "sorry, I was running late because…

2 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

…Did I miss anything? Does this all sound good? Travel time now from here to JFK is 3 hours 15 minutes.

10 minutes ago, supposebly said:

In addition to everyone else's good advice, tell him to skip the shower. As someone who gets very anxious to get to the airport with time to spare, esp. larger airports, every minute counts!

Yes to telling him to skip the shower and tell him you're bringing a full package of wet wipes.

Edited June 13 by shapeshifter

[chitowngirl]

11 minutes ago, supposebly said:

In addition to everyone else's good advice, tell him to skip the shower. As someone who gets very anxious to get to the airport with time to spare, esp. larger airports, every minute counts!

His sister and I told him that!

Thanks everyone! Just typing all that out with a plan to them (and you!!) helps with the stress. Ativan helps too! 
 

Travel time to JFK is 3:33 😁

[shapeshifter]

I posted this in the Family issues thread, but…

On 6/11/2024 at 10:15 AM, shapeshifter said:

Has anyone ever wondered if their second grandbaby got switched at birth in the hospital because they look so different?
My daughter laughed at this and assured me her husband was with the baby the entire time (she had a C-section), but it was just a really weird feeling.
Here I was, holding this beautiful 5-month-old, looking at me adoringly, and wondering…

…when I shared the experience with my therapist yesterday — explaining more in depth how upset I felt
(I suggested it might be like a panic attack, but I don't get those, so…?)
— she suggested that I was feeling "paranoia." 🤔

It's not so much about my being wrong, it's how I felt in the moment. 

There's a line in one of the later books by Laura Ingalls Wilder / Rose Wilder Lane that describes this feeling like being at the top of the basement stairs, and taking the first step, but there's nothing there except darkness.

ETA: After applying some of my retired-academic-librarian-google-fu skills, I skimmed this article and wonder if it could be related to the "lesions" on my brain that I was told several years ago were "typical" for someone with lifelong migraines. 🫤Something else to be "paranoid" about??

Edited June 15 by shapeshifter

[shapeshifter]

I only heard the last 20 minutes of this episode of Hidden Brain, but it was very timely for anyone considering career moves:
https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/why-you-feel-empty/

And I always love listening to Shankar Vedantam's voice.

[EtheltoTillie]

On 6/14/2024 at 11:40 AM, shapeshifter said:

I posted this in the Family issues thread, but…

…when I shared the experience with my therapist yesterday — explaining more in depth how upset I felt
(I suggested it might be like a panic attack, but I don't get those, so…?)
— she suggested that I was feeling "paranoia." 🤔

It's not so much about my being wrong, it's how I felt in the moment. 

There's a line in one of the later books by Laura Ingalls Wilder / Rose Wilder Lane that describes this feeling like being at the top of the basement stairs, and taking the first step, but there's nothing there except darkness.

ETA: After applying some of my retired-academic-librarian-google-fu skills, I skimmed this article and wonder if it could be related to the "lesions" on my brain that I was told several years ago were "typical" for someone with lifelong migraines. 🫤Something else to be "paranoid" about??

I’ve held off on commenting on this. Maybe too many late night visits to Dr Google but don’t want to discount your feelings. That article seems to describe a very rare phenomenon. I’d be interested to hear more about the therapist’s opinion. 

[chitowngirl]

Long story short-we made it to JFK on time!!

The Long Story-son got here at noon, took the quick shower. I checked the time to JFK. We were good. He said the plane is already delayed because they left the previous destination late. Fabulous! Get on the road. He’s on the phone with DIL. She’s at 30th St. Station in Philly, but there was that power outage and they keep pushing her train departure time back. I asked if we should just go to the station and fetch her? She’s not responding. We get to the point where the PA Turnpike splits into the Schuylkill expressway. No word. Get to next exit which could get us to the Schuylkill. No word. When we get to the Fort Washington exit, I pulled over. He got a hold of her, but she couldn’t decide if we should fetch her. I said we’re coming to get her. Of course, now I’m driving all through Philly. We get her at the station, pick up 95 and head for the NJ Turnpike. Amazingly, we are still good on time. No problems in NJ and surprisingly, breezed through Staten Island. Then on the Verrazano, I saw what the Beltway looked like! Oy! Had no choice, joined in the fun and crawled to JFK. Thank goodness for the plane delay, but we were good! Ironically, if I would have just picked her up at their house like I thought I was going to, we would have avoided all traffic!!

eta-the 3:30 trip took 5:15 with the Philly detour 😆

Edited June 22 by chitowngirl

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, chitowngirl said:

Thank goodness for the plane delay,

Those plane delays have saved many vacations!

Thanks for letting us know. 
So no wet wipes were needed.😆

[EtheltoTillie]

Thanks for letting us know @chitowngirl  that was even worse than I could have imagined. 

The Belt Parkway is not for sissies. 

[Cloud9Shopper]

I kind of feel like I’m starting to have a positive breakthrough in how I interact with people online. I was telling an online friend that I was worried about posting in a Reddit sub we’re both members of that I was thinking of canceling a job interview because the recruiter told me I had to take a personality test beforehand, which I’m not comfortable doing. I said I don’t want to tell these people because some of them think personality testing isn’t a red flag or that they think it’s OK because several employers they applied at required it and they did it. And so they may think I’m being too petty or paranoid or say something like how I can’t complain I can’t find a job.

Then I realized: What does it matter? So what if they do get mad at me or think I’m being stupid? I don’t owe these people anything, and I don’t have to take a personality test or go to an interview just because some random person with a username would do it. And besides it’s not like I will ever meet this random person who thinks I should do it. 

It was the same thing on Tumblr a few weeks ago when someone I thought was a new fandom friend blocked me when I felt like we were getting along. It was hurtful, and I didn’t think I said anything that would upset her so deeply that she’d block me. But again, who cares? Let her. I don’t have to change what I post or say to please someone behind a computer screen as long as it’s not outright hateful or discriminatory. I’ll interact with the people who like me and won’t block me just because I ruined their “happy space” and they saw something they don’t like.

I’m still working on being really good at this, but I like to think I’m getting there.