S01.E19: C-H-- CHEATER!

[alexvillage]

I haven't read all the comments so please forgive me if this has been already discussed. I will read them after I type this.

JJ will have all the so-called perks of disabled students (like therapies that are covered by Medicaid) until he turns 22. After that any services will be under the agency that provides them for adults in the state. Then things are going to get really bad. 

Let's leave the reality out of it and not talk about the long waiting lists for anything. And let's also leave out the requirements that some states/services have about only serving disabled people who also have an intellectual disability (they look at IQ), which is pretty ridiculous since different people need different services.

JJ could live independently with a ten of PCA's. He could apply for section 8 housing, he could share an apartment with other disabled people who also need PCA's, or he could even share an apartment with another disabled person who would be ale to help him and have some deal like, room and board. There are lots of solutions but they are not always or necessarily ideal. Most of the time they are just a patchwork of things people get (services paid for by Medicaid + SSI/SSDI) and arrangements to cover the remaining hours. 

Some people with much less mobility than JJ require 24-hour support to live independently. Sometimes their fight is just to stay away from nursing homes, which are institutions, so friends volunteer some hours to cover the time the states do not cover. 

Again, it will vary by state. Since the show's consultant is a disabled woman with some of the same support needs as JJ, I think the writers can do a good job with the things people need to think about and possible solutions. 

I really liked this episode, it is important to have this conversation and I hope they pick it up because there is so much to explore there. 

[alexvillage]

Quote

I am really glad we got some more background on Jimmy, and how much he gave up to help support the family. He seemed a little wistful talking about designing the building, but also like he had made peace with things, and didn't really regret how things turned out.

Better yet: he didn't say that he gave up BECAUSE of JJ's diagnosis. It is a subtle thing but it makes me happy because for once, a disabled child is not the reason why everything HAD to change. And even if it is, people can be totally ok with the changes instead of mourning forever. Kudos, show!

 

On 4/6/2017 at 3:00 PM, kathyk24 said:

On the other hand implying that someone as bright as JJ can't be independent. It's 2017 there are accessible apartments and attendant programs designed to help disabled people live on their own.

I think this is a way for the show to introduce the theme. I am looking forward to see where they go with it.

 

On 4/10/2017 at 3:07 AM, bros402 said:

I once had to tell a college professor that I could not drive because of my disabilities, so I couldn't bring in a milk crate that she *demanded* had to be brought in (She wanted us to put her handouts in it to keep at home), she yelled at me to get one of my parents to take off work and drive me to campus with it.

This is pretty disgusting. 

 

Something about independence. I don't know if anyone here needs the same amount of supports JJ does but I know a lot of people, personally and via blog posts, who need even more supports than JJ. For them, the "living independent" does not mean being able to cook, drive, getting dressed, take care of their personal hygiene. For them it means being able to make choices, lead their lives as they see fit. As more than one of them like to say: independent thinker. 

There is nothing undignified abut needing help in the bathroom. Undignified would be having to stay in bed, or a chair, soiled until someone can take the time to assist you. There are serval very prominent activists who are real badasses and who cannot live without a PCA, or a companion, or night watch. Some literally need someone to make sure they are breathing. The "most intelligent person in the word", as he is usually described, is one example.

[Crs97]

I really hope this is where the next episode is leading us.  JJ left before hearing how Maya defines "living independently."  I bet she meant it as doubtful that he could live without any support, and she would still want the siblings involved to make sure whoever becomes JJ's aide is correctly  speaking his words and following his wishes.  I totally understand why JJ might not realize that is how she meant it.  It's why I thought it could be impactful to see how JJ does at Kenneth's house during their talk.  For instance, we saw Kenneth has stairs, which JJ won't be able to navigate.  I loved seeing him figure out how to navigate the trip to the mall, but there will be some obstacles he cannot MacGyver his way through.    

Our oldest is about his age, and envisioning and planning for his future is terrifying.  

[GRChereck]

9 hours ago, alexvillage said:

Better yet: he didn't say that he gave up BECAUSE of JJ's diagnosis. It is a subtle thing but it makes me happy because for once, a disabled child is not the reason why everything HAD to change. And even if it is, people can be totally ok with the changes instead of mourning forever. Kudos, show!

I thought it was really sweet how that scene played out. :) But I do sort of wonder whether the show was just filling in that part of Jimmy's backstory -- something Ray would've found out a lot sooner had he just listened to his mom and come around to writing about his dad in "Hero" (1x12) :D -- or (if it gets another season or two) the writers brought up the architecture thing as something they may revisit later in some way.

In the latter case, I hope it doesn't mean having Jimmy quit or get fired from the airport (suddenly leaving the family without income or health benefits :( ) before this season is over; but I do think it would make for an interesting ongoing plot thread later on if he could take night / weekend / online classes around his work schedule and/or put together a portfolio of his college work and his wheelchair-costume designs (if he still has all that stuff) that might land him a freelance gig on the side...

6 hours ago, Crs97 said:

I really hope this is where the next episode is leading us.  JJ left before hearing how Maya defines "living independently."  I bet she meant it as doubtful that he could live without any support, and she would still want the siblings involved to make sure whoever becomes JJ's aide is correctly  speaking his words and following his wishes.  I totally understand why JJ might not realize that is how she meant it.  It's why I thought it could be impactful to see how JJ does at Kenneth's house during their talk.

In a couple recent interviews, Minnie said something about the next new episode* dealing with the fallout of JJ having overheard his mother -- how he just wants to get away from her, and how she's furious at him for having run back to Kenneth's yet feels compelled to help him complete the task of running away from home (helping him do all the things he couldn't do himself, letting him decide where they go). While I hope it picks up where this episode left off, I wouldn't mind if it doesn't as long as Maya and JJ get to have some good discussion -- about what she had said and what she'd meant, whether or not he's had his own thoughts and plans regarding his future, what he and Kenneth had talked about, etc. -- during their journey. 

 

* - which is also supposed to touch on Jimmy's struggles to discuss tough issues with the kids without Maya's help (though he's usually been good with heart-to-heart talks and simple wisdom / advice, I suppose it makes sense he'd have more trouble in matters where he can't just draw answers from his own personal experience; plus, considering that his gift for keeping his family calm and happy often means resorting to "little white lies," I can see why having to be honest about upsetting subject matter could be all the more difficult for him... :\ ), as well as Kenneth's past as a high-school star athlete (in which Dylan apparently takes an interest).

Edited April 16, 2017 by GRChereck
additional thoughts

[bros402]

18 hours ago, alexvillage said:

I haven't read all the comments so please forgive me if this has been already discussed. I will read them after I type this.

JJ will have all the so-called perks of disabled students (like therapies that are covered by Medicaid) until he turns 22. After that any services will be under the agency that provides them for adults in the state. Then things are going to get really bad. 

Let's leave the reality out of it and not talk about the long waiting lists for anything. And let's also leave out the requirements that some states/services have about only serving disabled people who also have an intellectual disability (they look at IQ), which is pretty ridiculous since different people need different services.

JJ could live independently with a ten of PCA's. He could apply for section 8 housing, he could share an apartment with other disabled people who also need PCA's, or he could even share an apartment with another disabled person who would be ale to help him and have some deal like, room and board. There are lots of solutions but they are not always or necessarily ideal. Most of the time they are just a patchwork of things people get (services paid for by Medicaid + SSI/SSDI) and arrangements to cover the remaining hours. 

Some people with much less mobility than JJ require 24-hour support to live independently. Sometimes their fight is just to stay away from nursing homes, which are institutions, so friends volunteer some hours to cover the time the states do not cover. 

Again, it will vary by state. Since the show's consultant is a disabled woman with some of the same support needs as JJ, I think the writers can do a good job with the things people need to think about and possible solutions. 

I really liked this episode, it is important to have this conversation and I hope they pick it up because there is so much to explore there. 

JJ will only have the related services if he chooses to delay his graduation - IDEA covers until 21 or the student's graduation. I imagine that if JJ has an IEP, the state agency (or agencies) are, involved in his IEP meetings if they haven't already been involved in transition planning. A lot of states have different "tiers" of supports for people with disabilities - some of them just go by the SSA regs, so if the SSA considers the individual disabled, that is good enough for the state agency. Even if they get resources or income beyond the SSA limits, as long as they are still disabled by the SSA's guidelines, they qualify. And, honestly, JJ would have a *lot* of Impairment Related Work Expenses, which could be in his favor.

Section 8 has one of the longest waiting lists around - it'd be easier for him to just get a lot of PCAs, maybe find someone with needs similar to his - or someone who just needs a PCA.

They also have Micah Fowler to consult

15 hours ago, alexvillage said:

Better yet: he didn't say that he gave up BECAUSE of JJ's diagnosis. It is a subtle thing but it makes me happy because for once, a disabled child is not the reason why everything HAD to change. And even if it is, people can be totally ok with the changes instead of mourning forever. Kudos, show!

 

I think this is a way for the show to introduce the theme. I am looking forward to see where they go with it.

 

This is pretty disgusting. 

 

Something about independence. I don't know if anyone here needs the same amount of supports JJ does but I know a lot of people, personally and via blog posts, who need even more supports than JJ. For them, the "living independent" does not mean being able to cook, drive, getting dressed, take care of their personal hygiene. For them it means being able to make choices, lead their lives as they see fit. As more than one of them like to say: independent thinker. 

There is nothing undignified abut needing help in the bathroom. Undignified would be having to stay in bed, or a chair, soiled until someone can take the time to assist you. There are serval very prominent activists who are real badasses and who cannot live without a PCA, or a companion, or night watch. Some literally need someone to make sure they are breathing. The "most intelligent person in the word", as he is usually described, is one example.

This theme will definitely be interesting.

Yeah, that professor was pretty disgusting - she did a lot more than that, which led to me getting an emergency withdrawal from the course. The state office of civil rights refused to take up my complaint, even though I had recordings of her telling the class in vivid detail about what I can't do because of my disabilities.

Yeah, being independent has a lot of meanings. Honestly, I don't see myself living alone - I will probably need to start looking into PCAs, because I cannot drive, cook (Can't cut food!), or write (Makes doctors appointments super fun). I can't button shirts either, but that isn't that bad, I just avoid things that need to be buttoned. The most important part of being independent is being able to direct your care.

11 hours ago, GRChereck said:

I thought it was really sweet how that scene played out. :) But I do sort of wonder whether the show was just filling in that part of Jimmy's backstory -- something Ray would've found out a lot sooner had he just listened to his mom and come around to writing about his dad in "Hero" (1x12) :D -- or (if it gets another season or two) the writers brought up the architecture thing as something they may revisit later in some way.

In the latter case, I hope it doesn't mean having Jimmy quit or get fired from the airport (suddenly leaving the family without income or health benefits :( ) before this season is over; but I do think it would make for an interesting ongoing plot thread later on if he could take night / weekend / online classes around his work schedule and/or put together a portfolio of his college work and his wheelchair-costume designs (if he still has all that stuff) that might land him a freelance gig on the side...

In a couple recent interviews, Minnie said something about the next new episode* dealing with the fallout of JJ having overheard his mother -- how he just wants to get away from her, and how she's furious at him for having run back to Kenneth's yet feels compelled to help him complete the task of running away from home (helping him do all the things he couldn't do himself, letting him decide where they go). While I hope it picks up where this episode left off, I wouldn't mind if it doesn't as long as Maya and JJ get to have some good discussion -- about what she had said and what she'd meant, whether or not he's had his own thoughts and plans regarding his future, what he and Kenneth had talked about, etc. -- during their journey. 

 

* - which is also supposed to touch on Jimmy's struggles to discuss tough issues with the kids without Maya's help (though he's usually been good with heart-to-heart talks and simple wisdom / advice, I suppose it makes sense he'd have more trouble in matters where he can't just draw answers from his own personal experience; plus, considering that his gift for keeping his family calm and happy often means resorting to "little white lies," I can see why having to be honest about upsetting subject matter could be all the more difficult for him... :\ ), as well as Kenneth's past as a high-school star athlete (in which Dylan apparently takes an interest).

I think they were holding that scene in their back pocket - maybe they thought of the idea for it wen they were writing Hero, but wanted to make it a bigger plot if they had a back 9.

I don't think they would have Jimmy quit - he wouldn't quit because that could hurt JJ. On the other hand, he could start to draw in his free time, maybe start to take some architecture classes at a community college, just to get back in the groove of things. They said he was going for a masters in Architecture, so I am guessing he has a Bachelors. He could take some courses just to get a feel for the new stuff in the field of architecture, then pursue it.

I think it will pick up where it left off, because it would be odd to just skip over JJ and Kenneth talking. However, I could see it starting in media res, with Maya and JJ in some situation, then FIVE HOURS AGO

[alexvillage]

4 hours ago, bros402 said:

Section 8 has one of the longest waiting lists around - it'd be easier for him to just get a lot of PCAs, maybe find someone with needs similar to his - or someone who just needs a PCA.

They also have Micah Fowler to consult

It is also very hard to find accessible section 8 housing. That's another reason why the support for disabled adults lack so much. 

Yes, Micah is a great source. I thought I had edited his name. Although, the advisor is an adult, so she has gone through the whole initial process already. I have no idea of how old Micah is. Like 16, like JJ?

4 hours ago, bros402 said:

Yeah, that professor was pretty disgusting - she did a lot more than that, which led to me getting an emergency withdrawal from the course. The state office of civil rights refused to take up my complaint, even though I had recordings of her telling the class in vivid detail about what I can't do because of my disabilities.

It is terrible. We see so many teachers and aides abusing children in special beds, and I have heard of way too many cases of professors not only being complete assholes, but throwing tantrums for simple adjustments to the environment to accommodate disabled students.

16 hours ago, GRChereck said:

In a couple recent interviews, Minnie said something about the next new episode* dealing with the fallout of JJ having overheard his mother -- how he just wants to get away from her, and how she's furious at him for having run back to Kenneth's yet feels compelled to help him complete the task of running away from home (helping him do all the things he couldn't do himself, letting him decide where they go).

And this would be a great example of JJ already being an independent thinker and making his own choices. While he will still need all the support, that's a good way of showing the importance of making him the subject of the discussion.

[GRChereck]

9 hours ago, bros402 said:

I don't think they would have Jimmy quit - he wouldn't quit because that could hurt JJ. On the other hand, he could start to draw in his free time, maybe start to take some architecture classes at a community college, just to get back in the groove of things. They said he was going for a masters in Architecture, so I am guessing he has a Bachelors. He could take some courses just to get a feel for the new stuff in the field of architecture, then pursue it.

I could definitely see that. :)

I think it would also be cool for Ray to start seeing his dad in a new light and encourage him, maybe even help him. One thing I really like about Jimmy is that he seems a lot smarter and more capable than he's willing to give himself credit for, and a storyline like this could get a bit more into that. 

4 hours ago, alexvillage said:

Yes, Micah is a great source. I thought I had edited his name. Although, the advisor is an adult, so she has gone through the whole initial process already. I have no idea of how old Micah is. Like 16, like JJ?

He just turned 19 last month. (I read/heard somewhere that he actually got the news of his landing this role on his 18th birthday, in March of last year.) :D

Edited April 17, 2017 by GRChereck

[alexvillage]

36 minutes ago, GRChereck said:

He just turned 19 last month. (I read/heard somewhere that he actually got the news of his landing this role on his 18th birthday, in March of last year.) :D

Oh, wow! I totally missed the mark haha. Thanks for the info. 

[bros402]

19 hours ago, alexvillage said:

It is also very hard to find accessible section 8 housing. That's another reason why the support for disabled adults lack so much. 

Yes, Micah is a great source. I thought I had edited his name. Although, the advisor is an adult, so she has gone through the whole initial process already. I have no idea of how old Micah is. Like 16, like JJ?

It is terrible. We see so many teachers and aides abusing children in special beds, and I have heard of way too many cases of professors not only being complete assholes, but throwing tantrums for simple adjustments to the environment to accommodate disabled students.

And this would be a great example of JJ already being an independent thinker and making his own choices. While he will still need all the support, that's a good way of showing the importance of making him the subject of the discussion.

Yeah, affordable and accessible section 8 housing is very, very rare.

I remember reading that Micah got the news of being cast on his 18th birthday, so he's at least 18 - i'd guess 18 going on 19, if not 19.

The thing with the professor was the professor genuinely being an uneducated ass along with the LD services office not understanding the law (and making it so the college was 3 hours away from me notifying the federal Department of Education of a FERPA violation) - the professor expecting me to have "someone at home" do the bulk of the "assignments" (Like arts and crafts) was just nonsensical. The following semester, I had the only other professor who taught the course - I was very frank with him when I went up to him at the end of the first day of class and he was like "Okay okay, slow down. I am not like her, the way she teaches this course doesn't jive with a lot of people. I do not do any of the ridiculous shit she does. I actually *teach* in this class." Oh, yeah, it was a course on how to teach elementary social studies.

I wonder if when JJ goes to college, we'll have him encounter a professor who isn't like "OMG UR SO INSPIRATIONAL" like the teachers at his high school - could make for a fun little introductory plot.

15 hours ago, GRChereck said:

I could definitely see that. :)

I think it would also be cool for Ray to start seeing his dad in a new light and encourage him, maybe even help him. One thing I really like about Jimmy is that he seems a lot smarter and more capable than he's willing to give himself credit for, and a storyline like this could get a bit more into that. 

He just turned 19 last month. (I read/heard somewhere that he actually got the news of his landing this role on his 18th birthday, in March of last year.) :D

Yeah, Jimmy seems a lot smarter than he did at the start of the series, which is a very good thing (Remember the 2nd episode's B-Plot?).

I hope that after this episode, Ray starts to view Jimmy differently.

[GRChereck]

21 hours ago, bros402 said:

I wonder if when JJ goes to college, we'll have him encounter a professor who isn't like "OMG UR SO INSPIRATIONAL" like the teachers at his high school - could make for a fun little introductory plot.

Agreed. :) I expressed hope in the "Ding" thread that, after picking on the overly sensitive / PC side for much of this season, the show would start dealing more with the other side of how the disabled are treated. I suppose the writers/producers initially went the PC-satirizing route because they may have thought the harsher realities would be harder to play for laughs or otherwise avoid straying into Very Special Episode territory; but between the rude customer in "Ding" and (according to the latest ABC press release) a girl who uses "the R-word" in the upcoming "P-R-Prom" (1x21, May 3), at least they're starting to show more willingness to address people's more hurtful attitudes / actions / language against those with disabilities.

21 hours ago, bros402 said:

Yeah, Jimmy seems a lot smarter than he did at the start of the series, which is a very good thing (Remember the 2nd episode's B-Plot?).

I hope that after this episode, Ray starts to view Jimmy differently.

Oh my, yes. In retrospect, I think the whole messing-with-the-neighbors thing in "New Aide," as well as the trash-collecting in "Bonfire," may have been the writers not only trying to figure out a personality for Jimmy (beyond how he deals with Maya's antics) but also just giving him stuff to do for the sake of plot. :\ (I'd say the Halloween episode is where he really started coming into his own as a character, introducing his more artistic side and some of his tastes / interests outside of his family...)

As for Ray, I recall in "Date?" how Dylan was downright disrespectful to her father ("I'm not in a teasing mood, Jimmy," "If looking at the stars is supposed to calm me down, it ain't working, old man") until she saw how he was capable of expressing anger. I would love to see a similar moment where Ray, who's been largely defined by his anxiety, becomes more sympathetic toward his dad when he sees Jimmy has worries and fears of his own.* 

(* - we saw a little of this side of Jimmy in "Sick Day" when he damn near had a panic attack at the thought of his family seeing him as little more than a regular paycheck, and "Sled Hockey" when he got a bit freaked out at the notion of JJ willingly risking more physical pain than his CP and multiple surgeries have already put him through). Given the premise of the next new episode, I could easily imagine him expressing similar anxieties -- about feeling inadequate as a father, the well-being of the kids, etc. -- in a scenario where he keeps getting hit with questions he can't answer and Maya's not there to take charge...)

Edited April 19, 2017 by GRChereck
additional thoughts; typos

[bros402]

11 hours ago, GRChereck said:

Agreed. :) I expressed hope in the "Ding" thread that, after picking on the overly sensitive / PC side for much of this season, the show would start dealing more with the other side of how the disabled are treated. I suppose the writers/producers initially went the PC-satirizing route because they may have thought the harsher realities would be harder to play for laughs or otherwise avoid straying into Very Special Episode territory; but between the rude customer in "Ding" and (according to the latest ABC press release) a girl who uses "the R-word" in the upcoming "P-R-Prom" (1x21, May 3), at least they're starting to show more willingness to address people's more hurtful attitudes / actions / language against those with disabilities.

Oh my, yes. In retrospect, I think the whole messing-with-the-neighbors thing in "New Aide," as well as the trash-collecting in "Bonfire," may have been the writers not only trying to figure out a personality for Jimmy (beyond how he deals with Maya's antics) but also just giving him stuff to do for the sake of plot. :\ (I'd say the Halloween episode is where he really started coming into his own as a character, introducing his more artistic side and some of his tastes / interests outside of his family...)

As for Ray, I recall in "Date?" how Dylan was downright disrespectful to her father ("I'm not in a teasing mood, Jimmy," "If looking at the stars is supposed to calm me down, it ain't working, old man") until she saw how he was capable of expressing anger. I would love to see a similar moment where Ray, who's been largely defined by his anxiety, becomes more sympathetic toward his dad when he sees Jimmy has worries and fears of his own.* 

(* - we saw a little of this side of Jimmy in "Sick Day" when he damn near had a panic attack at the thought of his family seeing him as little more than a regular paycheck, and "Sled Hockey" when he got a bit freaked out at the notion of JJ willingly risking more physical pain than his CP and multiple surgeries have already put him through). Given the premise of the next new episode, I could easily imagine him expressing similar anxieties -- about feeling inadequate as a father, the well-being of the kids, etc. -- in a scenario where he keeps getting hit with questions he can't answer and Maya's not there to take charge...)

I took Dylan's comments in "Date?" as more biting sarcasm than disrespect - as Jimmy and Dylan have their own relationship (as shown in Raycation, with the toys)

[GRChereck]

10 hours ago, bros402 said:

I took Dylan's comments in "Date?" as more biting sarcasm than disrespect - as Jimmy and Dylan have their own relationship (as shown in Raycation, with the toys)

Ah. :) Rereading that part of my post, I'm thinking when she gets more serious about where her anger is coming from and accuses him of not being able to show any no matter how badly his customers treat him -- "I'm sick of this family constantly being messed with. And I guess I'm a freak, but I'm sorry, I just can't hold it all in. I'm not like you" -- would've been closer to what I had in mind. 

Edited April 19, 2017 by GRChereck

[neuromom]

On 4/17/2017 at 4:17 AM, alexvillage said:

It is also very hard to find accessible section 8 housing. That's another reason why the support for disabled adults lack so much. 

Yes, Micah is a great source. I thought I had edited his name. Although, the advisor is an adult, so she has gone through the whole initial process already. I have no idea of how old Micah is. Like 16, like JJ?

It is terrible. We see so many teachers and aides abusing children in special beds, and I have heard of way too many cases of professors not only being complete assholes, but throwing tantrums for simple adjustments to the environment to accommodate disabled students.

And this would be a great example of JJ already being an independent thinker and making his own choices. While he will still need all the support, that's a good way of showing the importance of making him the subject of the discussion.

I also worry about my son's future . (He is 12) so where this episode leads is very interesting to me. I live in CA. Our politics and finances are a mess. Right now my son has IHSS services (in home service support/caregiver) but his hours could be cut at anytime if the government decides to cut programs. Also, because of several factors occurring in our state right now, we are looking at a possible exponential increase in the disabled community in the next decade. So, I can't trust that there will even be any services for my kid when he gets to be an adult. I'm having to make alternative plans NOW to prepare. I'd move out of state now if it wasn't for the fact that all my family live in the same town as me and I need their support for my son.

But, my son WANTS to be independent . His body won't let him do the things he'd probably like to do. And he's at the point where he gets frustrated with assistance I give him with dressing and hygiene. All I can do right now is give him the ability to make as many choices as he can and to treat him as a typical twelve year old. 

Any storyline that addresses the difficulty in obtaining services , as well as planning for future care, is a storyline I can really get into.

[bros402]

2 hours ago, neuromom said:

I also worry about my son's future . (He is 12) so where this episode leads is very interesting to me. I live in CA. Our politics and finances are a mess. Right now my son has IHSS services (in home service support/caregiver) but his hours could be cut at anytime if the government decides to cut programs. Also, because of several factors occurring in our state right now, we are looking at a possible exponential increase in the disabled community in the next decade. So, I can't trust that there will even be any services for my kid when he gets to be an adult. I'm having to make alternative plans NOW to prepare. I'd move out of state now if it wasn't for the fact that all my family live in the same town as me and I need their support for my son.

But, my son WANTS to be independent . His body won't let him do the things he'd probably like to do. And he's at the point where he gets frustrated with assistance I give him with dressing and hygiene. All I can do right now is give him the ability to make as many choices as he can and to treat him as a typical twelve year old. 

Any storyline that addresses the difficulty in obtaining services , as well as planning for future care, is a storyline I can really get into.

Could he use adapted clothing? I have different limitations, but when I was doing student teaching - my mom bought me dress pants and sewed a little thing I could just slide a clasp into, instead of a button - then she'd button a dress shirt up halfway, then I would walk out of the bathroom and she would button it up the rest of the way. Then the reverse when I got home (she'd unbutton it halfway, then I would slip out of the shirt).

[Big Mother]

Normally in a special ed program, when a child turns 15 the school starts transitioning the curriculum into vocational training and discussing the future. SInce Maya is insisting that JJ go mainstream, there's no one there to implement such programming for him :(. In general, if he's already 17, they need to apply for guardianship and start thinking about his future. I'm in a differen situation since my son is autistic and not independent in the least, and he went to live at a residential school a few months ago. But it's such a relief; I would never want my other kids to have to take care of him their whole lives. They deserve their own life and not to be saddled with  a situation they did not ask for. However, I put my foot down and insisted that my kids have to visit him regularly even though it's a drag to travel so far. 

Anyway, it's late at night and my thoughts aren't coherent so I apologize if I offended anyone with what I wrote about my son and family; I'll have to get into it in more detail at a later time, maybe in the IEP thread.

[neuromom]

8 minutes ago, Big Mother said:

Normally in a special ed program, when a child turns 15 the school starts transitioning the curriculum into vocational training and discussing the future. SInce Maya is insisting that JJ go mainstream, there's no one there to implement such programming for him :(. In general, if he's already 17, they need to apply for guardianship and start thinking about his future. I'm in a differen situation since my son is autistic and not independent in the least, and he went to live at a residential school a few months ago. But it's such a relief; I would never want my other kids to have to take care of him their whole lives. They deserve their own life and not to be saddled with  a situation they did not ask for. However, I put my foot down and insisted that my kids have to visit him regularly even though it's a drag to travel so far. 

Anyway, it's late at night and my thoughts aren't coherent so I apologize if I offended anyone with what I wrote about my son and family; I'll have to get into it in more detail at a later time, maybe in the IEP thread.

You didn't offend me at all! It's helpful to hear other stories, as it gives me something to think about. My son is 12, and has multiple disabilities. And although he has improved , and continues to do so, there is no way of knowing where he will be when he ages out of his special school at 22 years old. At THIS point , it's doubtful he will be truly independent. I try to to take things one day at a time!

Positive thoughts and prayers to you and your family! It's a tough , emotional road, I know!

[bros402]

2 hours ago, Big Mother said:

Normally in a special ed program, when a child turns 15 the school starts transitioning the curriculum into vocational training and discussing the future. SInce Maya is insisting that JJ go mainstream, there's no one there to implement such programming for him :(. In general, if he's already 17, they need to apply for guardianship and start thinking about his future. I'm in a differen situation since my son is autistic and not independent in the least, and he went to live at a residential school a few months ago. But it's such a relief; I would never want my other kids to have to take care of him their whole lives. They deserve their own life and not to be saddled with  a situation they did not ask for. However, I put my foot down and insisted that my kids have to visit him regularly even though it's a drag to travel so far. 

Anyway, it's late at night and my thoughts aren't coherent so I apologize if I offended anyone with what I wrote about my son and family; I'll have to get into it in more detail at a later time, maybe in the IEP thread.

Transition planning is required to start by 16, but most places start it at 13/14, because starting it at 16, two years before HS graduation "typically" happens is just silly.

You can be fully mainstreamed and have an IEP. I am assuming that since JJ has an aide, that he has an IEP - Maya isn't stupid, she wouldn't let him lose the protection that an IEP (/IDEA) provides. And well, JJ *needs* and IEP, he can't go without one, since he needs an aide - Kenneth could have a dentist appointment and need the morning off, so they'd have to get a substitute para for the morning, for example.