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Make up, make up, never ever break up! The Real Housewives of Cheshire are back for a brand new series and the camp is still split. As Tanya enters the final stages of her pregnancy, friendships are at breaking point from gossip and postings on social media. Dawn is fuming that Stacey thinks she’s manipulative but plays the doting mother-in-law, as Taylor brings her boyfriend Sam home much to Ashley’s horror. Seema prepares her Autumn/Winter fashion collection while Missé gets back into modelling as a runway bride. With tension, drama and unfinished business, Cheshire’s Golden triangle is set to explode with plenty of high drama, high hormones and high heels.

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Every season Dawn thinks someone is "intimidated" by her or jealous of her.  Looks like it's Stacey's turn!  What a shitty little speech that was to throw in the jab at Stacey.

Ampika has no fucks to give when it comes to Dawn.

I love Lauren rising above the drama, but that home situation is jacked up.

Magali better return by mid-season or this could be a predictable snoozer.

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Hold on to your champagne glasses, The Real Housewives of Cheshire are celebrating hard.

Ampika offers an olive branch to Tanya but will she be forgiven for hamster-gate? Stacey hosts a graduation garden party for her daughter, but things take a turn for the worst with a chaotic and disastrous arrival.

Leanne throws a jungle-themed baby shower for Tanya – will the girls put their differences aside for one day or will the arrival of Ampika cause a big rumble in the jungle? It's just another day in paradise in Cheshire's glamorous Golden Triangle.

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Everyone is bringing up Dawn to Ampika and bringing up Ampika to Dawn and bringing up Ampika to Tanya... Ampika is literally the only one not trying to stir up nonsense. Lol

Really not looking forward to another season of Dawn accusing everyone of being jealous of her. Broken record. 

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So Ampika says to Misse that Lauren told her about the bad energy comment.

When Misse takes it to Lauren, Lauren denied even having a conversation with Ampika. Misse believes that.

So at no point did Misse wonder how the heck Ampika could know exactly what Misse had said to Lauren if Lauren hadn't told her?

Come on girls. Even if you don't like Ampika ya gotta be smarter than that.

Side note: it was SO nice not having a episode full of Dawn talking about herself the whole hour. 

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Also when Dawn came out the bathroom in the day time with PJs on, freshly washed hair (it looked a little damp still) but had a full face of that dark heavy evening eye makeup on it got me wondering just how insecure is this chick? 

Serious question - has she had a single scene in any of the seasons with day time light makeup, or almost bare face, at all???

 

I understand not wanting to be totally makeup free in front of camera's but she has her drag makeup on at all times. What does she really look like under that stuff. The only housewife worse with that is Gina from Melbourne! 

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My favorite scenes were any scene with Lauren--she seems back to her old self this season!  Whether teasing Ampika about updating her wardrobe or shutting Missé down about her treatment of Ampika, Lauren had me rolling this episode.
 

4 hours ago, lilsadone said:

So at no point did Misse wonder how the heck Ampika could know exactly what Misse had said to Lauren if Lauren hadn't told her?

Well now, remember that Missé tried to ret-con that it isn't that she dislikes Ampika per se, it's that Ampika says a lot of things Missé just doesn't "get."  Obviously this model isn't a secret Mensa member if she dislikes people because of her own intellectual inferiority.
 

4 hours ago, lilsadone said:

Side note: it was SO nice not having a episode full of Dawn talking about herself the whole hour. 

Agreed!  But we did get a little bit at the end of what I am now calling Classic Dawn: whereby Dawn engages in the act of "trying to understand" why someone doesn't like her by playing armchair psycho and projecting her issues with the person in question right back onto the other person.  This time, it's Stacey who's apparently so intimidated by Dawn's amazing greatness that Stacey dislikes her instead of "really get'n t'know her."

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4 hours ago, lilsadone said:

I understand not wanting to be totally makeup free in front of camera's but she has her drag makeup on at all times. What does she really look like under that stuff. The only housewife worse with that is Gina from Melbourne! 

Oh, but Gina's so confident and fabulous I'll give her a pass on this.  Dawn?  Painfully insecure--NO PASS GIVEN!

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19 hours ago, strongoxman said:

Agreed!  But we did get a little bit at the end of what I am now calling Classic Dawn: whereby Dawn engages in the act of "trying to understand" why someone doesn't like her by playing armchair psycho and projecting her issues with the person in question right back onto the other person.  This time, it's Stacey who's apparently so intimidated by Dawn's amazing greatness that Stacey dislikes her instead of "really get'n t'know her."

 

No kidding! When I see her talking to her family with the same speech each each time, I wonder how they don't just melt into the floor from hearing it so many time. 

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The drama continues at Tanya's baby shower, with Misse in tears and Stacey standing up to Dawn.  Lauren gives Ampika her own dose of 'bad energy', while Leanne and Dawn give each other the cold shoulder.  Seema organizes a glam dinner for the girls.  Ampika drops a bombshell causing drama with Dawn, and Seema puts Ampika and Lauren in their place.

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On 9/7/2016 at 0:23 AM, strongoxman said:

New drinking game: take a shot every time Dawn's raccoon eyes glare in hateful bewilderment upon realizing someone else isn't planning to kowtow to her!

My God! You'll give us all alcohol poisoning :-)

I can't remember if I stomped off hating this by the end of last season or not but I'm back!

Is Magali really coming back? Please say it's true. 

Dawn hates Stacey because Stacey is filthy rich and known as Cheshire's Social Butterfly. That said, this season will obviously be Stacey's turn to face Dawn's wrath.

If you look at Dawn's skin in certain light it's bad.  She is careful to be shot from particular angles but once in awhile the lighting will be just right and you can see she's got dents like she's had bad botox. 

She keeps foisting her family on us--I wonder if she's trying for a Kardashian-style spin off?

Lauryn is a breath of fresh air.

Edited by MaryTylerMoore
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Tanya prepares for the imminent arrival of Baby Bardsley with a visit from the Baby Whisperer.  Lauren is fuming with Seema after their dinner party bust up.  Ampika launches her latest business venture, but will all the girls be there to support her?  Missé drops a bombshell about her marriage, and the drama comes to a head as Leanne has words with Dawn.

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Tanya arrives home with Baby Ralphi and a visit from godmothers-to-be Dawn and Leanne. The Housewives jet off to Barcelona for Missé's 30th Birthday, where she confides in Dawn about her ongoing marriage problems. Ampika has a heart to heart with Leanne about trouble in her love life and questions Missé's motives for inviting her on the trip.

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Ugh, now it's Seema's turn to play shit-stirrer between Pikaboo and Missé.  Over it.

So I see Dawn has a tramp stamp; nothing wrong with it, but surprised nonetheless.

I couldn't make a word out when Pikaboo was confiding in Leanne away from the girls in Barcelona about her getting dumped.  What was she going on about?

Not enough Lauren.  The worst episodes are the ones without her.

Missé's marriage is over.  Yawn.  Missé is worried about her career being over because she's turning 30.  Yawn.  I miss Magali.

 

I wasn't sure about the new girls after last season, but I think overall this is a good cast.  Stacey is really coming into her own, and Seema has more of a personality this go around.  I think this cast could only be improved by swapping out Missé and bringing back Magali.

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IA, @strongoxman.  Magali needs to be back and Missé needs to be gone.  Missé is useless & boring.  IDC about anything having to do with her…except to wonder if her soon-to-be ex has already replaced her.

Ampika was saying that her boyfriend(?) didn't like that she didn't have time for him.  And she has her business, child/ren, etc keeping her from having much free time.  I think what goes unsaid is that Mark is getting quite a bit of what time she does have.  Can't blame the boyfriend  being upset about that.

Dawn couldn't have been more thrilled to have her minions back…too bad Leeanne wasn't as excited.  Methinks the puppet has cut her strings for good…or until Magali returns and Dawn needs back up.

Seema & Stacey are excellent additions, how did they cast so poorly with Missé?  I don't get it.

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THANK YOU for providing translation services, @OnceSane!!  I rarely have issues with their accents, but between Ampika's heavy accent and her distraught, semi-crying...it may as well have been Thai.

I agree with your assessment, too, that boyfriend probably wasn't happy with Mark's role, especially in light of the footage on the show.  It's obvious to everyone that Pikaboo is still in love with Mark, and as the father of her child, no one else is going to come close to him.

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The Housewives continue their glamorous trip to Barcelona with more shock revelations and tears. Missé is annoyed to hear that Ampika has doubted her invitation, while Ampika opens up to Lauren and Leanne about her secret love life. At a very tearful final dinner, Missé reveals her marriage heartbreak to the entire group. 

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I was hoping Missé would move back to Denmark so we could be done with her.  Damn.

 

I'm really enjoying the friendships between Leanne, Lauren and Ampika--they're really fun together and super supportive.

 

Of course Dawn had to act like an asshole during their lunch.  I'm at the point where I'll miss hate-watching her if she ever leaves.

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After the news of Missé's separation is announced in the newspapers, Missé is left feeling devastated. After a spiritual day with Leanne and Ampika, Stacey is in awe after learning what Dawn said about her in Barcelona. Missé and Ampika attempt to clear the air and reconcile at Lauren's perfume launch party.

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Dawn, Seema and Stacy looked really bad in this episode. Production must hate them for juxtaposing their nastiness and inability to let go of the most inconsequential slights to bash Ampika. 

Dawn and Missee really need to stop with this vendetta they have against Ampika. It makes them look terrible not that Dawn ever looks good.

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(edited)

Enjoyed the interactions with all the girls.  Once again, Dawn has to be a transparent asshole.  Loved Dawn's stank face when Leanne called her out on it.  Glad Pikaboo was able to have a calm, cogent conversation with Missé, but homegirl needs to go get divorced and get off this show.

I enjoyed Lauren's poem along with the OG castmembers.  Yes, it told nothing about the product, but it's Lauren and she's flighty, so good for her for getting anything out at all.

Edited by strongoxman
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Dawn is so desperate to have someone be jealous of her, but no one is.  Congrats, you're still married…no one cares.  Ampika and Lauren are more fun to be around, Seema and Stacey seem to have mastered (mostly) low-key shit-stirring. And Tanya gets to have Botox again while Leanne's slightly-ditzy wit has grown on me.  Even Missé is less annoying at this point.  I get the feeling Dawn will be begging the producers for a Magali return, just so she has a storyline in the future.

I loved Lauren's poem, especially everyone else being kinda "WTF?" about it, yet admitting it's totally her.

Nice to see Ampika and Missé on the same page; it makes it more difficult for Dawn to manipulate situations between them.

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It's the day of Dawn's grand opening and Ashley jets off to Monaco – will the clinic be ready in time? Taylor reveals her split with Sam Reece to mum Dawn. Lauren hears what Seema and Stacey said about her perfume launch and isn't happy. Ampika signs up to find love with a megabucks dating agency and makes a very special surprise entrance at Dawn's party…

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Tanya calling Stacey "Mrs Bouquet" was spot on.  

On 10/26/2016 at 9:06 AM, OnceSane said:

Dawn is so desperate to have someone be jealous of her, but no one is.  Congrats, you're still married…no one cares.  Ampika and Lauren are more fun to be around, Seema and Stacey seem to have mastered (mostly) low-key shit-stirring. And Tanya gets to have Botox again while Leanne's slightly-ditzy wit has grown on me.  Even Missé is less annoying at this point.  I get the feeling Dawn will be begging the producers for a Magali return, just so she has a storyline in the future.

THIS! And she's dying to make her family into the Kardashians across the pond.

Dawn and Misse have horrible senses of humor. Neither of them understand sarcasm or irony. They are both so self centered that Ampika's direct blows to their insults actually goes over their heads. Peeka Boo is a low key bad ass. 

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I loved Ampika's entrance to Dawn's launch.  Love how Dawn thought it proved her point about Ampika's attention-seeking while Ampika was making fun of her.  I also laughed at Ashley bailing and going out of town--even her husband doesn't care.

I don't know about this matchmaking service, though.  Seems like Ampika is throwing away money because she's lonely.

I liked the art session, but can we have just ONE of these on a HW show where the women don't act like tittering middle school children?  

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Bollywood comes to Cheshire as Seema hosts a 45th birthday extravaganza. Post-birth Tanya has an extreme beauty treatment, vaginal tightening. Lauren is fuming that Seema criticised her perfume launch and wants to have it out with her face to face. Tanya gets her sari in a twist over Stacey, resulting in an explosive argument at Seema's party. This is one Bollywood movie you won't forget! Hold on to your Rickshaw cos the Bindis are flying!!

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I admit I didn't get the "Mrs. Bouquet" dig until I googled it…it's been too long since I watched Keeping Up With Appearances.  That said, daaaaaammmnnn Tanya!  That was a sick burn.

I would have loved to be at that party, though I'd have been conveniently in the loo during the dance performance.  That was just embarrassing.  And not in a cute way.

Single Missé could actually be fun next season as long as she gets her head at least a few inches out of Dawn's ass.  I don't know how she even fit as Tanya staked out her spot long ago.

Now I need to watch the reunion & hope for an announcement saying Magali will be back for Season 5.

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I can't help but think something really ugly went down between Leanne & Dawn off camera. I suspect the first season really tried the friendship and Leanne watched how ugly Dawn is after filming ended. it's always interesting to watch the friendships that easier pre-fame implode once they become HWs. that said, Leanne is a whiny shit stirrer.

 

Still loving Lauren and will give Ampika the benefit of the doubt. I'm glad I binge watched the season. 

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Missé really is bum fluff.

LOVED Lauren holding her own against Screema--she got in both good points and good lines; winner!

Ampika vs. Dawn was less clear-cut.  Both came out looking bad, but since Dawn is always an arsehole, I'll call this one a draw.

Stacey's pretty stubborn, huh?  Couldn't even give a half-hearted apology?  Hint: this is how the whole thing works, honey--give a fake apology to look good/not petty on TV.  Seems like she's more than just a little sensitive about being accused of putting on airs.

Dawn vs. Leanne was less eventful, but I think Leanne really was a class act by refusing to get into it.  Since Dawn is always an arsehole, Leanne wins by default.

Seriously, for Series 5, swap out Missé for Magali and this cast will be perfect.

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