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JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

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Yeah, but this dog has a stand, seems smarter than Polnareff, and has a "Lust for Life."

Geb is one of the nine gods of ancient Egypt? That's about 1491 gods short of the complete set.

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Went to a high school convention in NYC tonight. Burned two references I had printed: Death 13 & Mannish Boy and Dio Brando (original version). Dummy that I am, I thought that getting characters and Stands on the same page would be pricey, but it didn't occur to me that a lot of the folks on Creators Drive (because NYC doesn't have alleys) would be working cheap. That's why I also got Kakioyin & Hierophant Green.

death13-mannish.jpg.2f61a5dd06be97e3ec0cdfb4e4692092.jpg

 Kakoyin-Hierophant.jpg.57dd4a05e6c70793dae789cbad588b87.jpg

Dio-Brando.jpg.87db4e8c3edb16f3b904cd63e605c0a3.jpg

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"This week on Stardust Crusaders . . . everybody involved in the anime takes drugs. A lot of drugs. ALL OF THE DRUGS."

As Avdol and Kakoyin recover from N'Doul's attacks, the rest of the gang is beset by a a pair of brother Stand users: Oingo Zenyatta & Boingo Mondatta. Yes, legal issues, but the younger kid's prophecy book/Tohth Stand is labeled "Oingo Boingo Brother Adventures," so it looks like Viz didn't want to at least erase that. Anyway, the brothers try to murder our heroes, but shit keeps going sideways, mostly due to Iggy's antics. Then Zenytta uses his Stand -- Khnum -- to squeeze out of a tight spot, shape-shifting into Jotaro. Well, he alters his faces and styles his hair to pass for Jotaro's cap, while the rest of his clothes remains the same (ike Bon Clay from One Piece). In my head, Joseph knew what was up halfway through the deception at the very worst. Polnareff? He has no clue, because he's that fucking stupid. Also, he's smoking. My theory: Joseph got him into that to try and give him lung cancer right away. Seriously, Polnareff picks a cafe by spitting out his cigarette and following the lit end . . . .but he doesn't stomp that out, and it winds up burning the garbage of another cafe. On the other hand, the smoking comes in handy as Polnareff gets "Jotaro" to do his trick of flipping five lit cigarettes into his mouth, and that's funny. Anyway . . . Zenyatta manages to escape, but he ends up getting blown up by the bomb-in-the-orange he tried to set up. Then he and Mondatta get stomped on by guys because Mondatta punched one of them in the face because the book said he would.

Seriously, this was a fucked-up episode, especially with the pictures in Tohth. And then, for the hell of it, the brothers hijack the end credits for pure horror fuel . . . at least if you're on acid. Apologies for not finding a clip with English subtitles.

ETA: Nice touch with Jotaro’s VA doing Zenyyta’s lines, throwing in few “good griefs” along the way. I’m guess that happened in the original dub.

Edited by Lantern7

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So basically, Jojo & Crew managed to beat the bad guys without using their stands. Or even being aware of them, for that matter. Because the baddies' powers were respectively  a) foretelling the very near future inaccurately, and b) doing a moderately convincing face disguise. Lame. When the kid said he was going to kill them all by himself if necessary, what was he going to do? Predict the future at them?

Nice to see that the crew was able to either fix their dune buggy or get a new one.

Loved the gag credits.

ETA: Why was Zenytta's hat so freakishly tall?

Edited by Sandman87

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This week: It's another episode that might as well be titled "Does Polnareff Have To Work To Be An Idiot, Or Does It Come Naturally?"

With Kakoyin still on the mend, the team travels around Egypt. Meanwhile, a schmuck whipping boy gets a sword with a Stand: Anubis. Basically the sword can slice through anything . . .  unless Chaka doesn't want it to. Anubis possesses him, making him kill his father and friends, who were assholes. The last guy he dispatches was hiding behind a cow, and Chaka slices the guy in two, without even nicking the cow. Shades of Baron Zeppeli breaking the rock and not the frog underneath.

Anyway, Polnareff finds himself lost,and then he meets Chaka. Cue awesome swordfight. Polnareff gets cut up, but Silver Chariot uses a last resort attack to seemingly kill Chaka. Polanreff gets mesmerized by the sword, but comes out of it okay as the gang finds him. Also, four mice try to abscond with the sword, which should've been a dead giveaway that Something Was Wrong.

Joseph: Okay, we can't afford to get separated anymore! The enemy can come from anywhere!! Seriously, if we meet anybody, they're usually either a minion of DIO or dead inside five minutes. It's getting old, dammit!!!

Avdol: Iggy, would you please stop snarling at the sword?

Polnareff: Mon dieu! I might as well take the sword to the police station right now.

Joseph: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like talking to a brick wall. A really, really stupid brick wall!

Joseph gets Jotaro to play Frenchmansitter, and they go to the police station. Actually, no, they hit a barbershop, because Polnareff needs a shave and a haircut. Yeah, watching a guy trim down that flattop is funny. But the Frenchman asks the barber to put the sword to the side . . . and then the guy sharpens his blade and starts shaving . . .  and then he takes the hot towel off Polnareff's face . . . and Polnareff looks into the mirror to find that Anubis has possessed the barber, and the blade is right next to his throat. Oh and Jotaro seems to be napping. "Seems" is the key word, because he's probably faking, and Star Platinum will save Polnareff's ass next episode.

Edited by Lantern7

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Polnareff has difficulty with the concept of foreign languages being...foreign.

So "Chaka", as in "Chaka Khan?"

Anubis says he's "Ruler of the Underworld?" Someone better go tell Osiris that one of his underlings is trying to pull a Starscream here. And I'm trying to figure out how a deity normally associated with funerary stuff ended up connected to a sword, which would be more appropriate to a war god. And why it's not an ancient Egyptian sword, like a khopesh.

Silver Chariot can shoot its blade, just like that sword in The Sword and the Sorcerer, but with only one blade.

It would have been fun if one of the pillars had had a Pillar Man inside of it.

Note to self: When super intelligent dogs won't stop growling at something, there's probably a really good reason.

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ScrewAttack hosts "Death Battles" on their YouTube. Next week, they're pitting Jotaro against Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star. Here's the video covering the basics of Jotaro and Star Platinum. There is one bit from the series that hasn't aired on Toonami . . . just so you know.

And here's Kenshiro's profile.

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This week: Polnareff actually figures out a way to not get his throat slit, via creative use of the barber's chair. And that's his high point for the episode, as Anubis ("wielding" the barber Khan) inflicts damage on the Frenchman. And because Anubis can learn from prior fights, it dodges Silver Chariot's "do or die" attack, so Jotaro has to intercede. Star Platinum gets the win, but thanks to a sequence of comedic errors, Polnareff gets the sword, and Anubis has two blades to play with. Jotaro wins on sheer guts. No, really, he takes a blade to the stomach, and Star Platinum chops Anubis down to size. Game over. Except it's not.

In the first battle, the tip of Anubis gets broken off . . . so when a schmuck kid touches it, Anubis possesses him. As our heroes are still recovering (Jotaro needs to rest, he's that fucked up), Anubis compels the child to throw the blade. But the kid had previously dropped his lollipop. Of course, that brings in Iggy, who knocks the kid off-balance, and Anubis winds up sinking to the bottom of the nearby Nile River, panicking like a punk the entire time. Also, I think he kinda resembled Beerus from Dragon Ball Super. In the end, Jotaro and Polnareff don't know the bullet blade that they dodged, Polnareff still hates Iggy, Iggy still jumps on his face and passes gas. Oh, and the next Stand user arrives in the form of a really attractive woman.

I can't overstate how goofy Anubis looked as he(?) tried to compel the blade to not go into the Nile. Fun shit.

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Did anyone else have the urge to do a Captain Kirk Impression? "KHAAAAAAANNN!" Also, first Chaka and then Khan. Cute.

I imagine Anubis's backstory went something like this: One day Dio was bored out of his mind, and thought to himself "Hey, I'm English! We're supposed to be fascinated with ancient Egyptian stuff. Guess I'll go to a museum and play with the swords...(time passes)...This one looks interesting, like a Japanese sword with a scimitar hilt...Woah! It's a stand!"

Iggy went after the candy; he wanted an Iggy pop! Someone should tell Polnareff that Iggy just wants to be his dog. Because he's a real wild child.

That poor bull was just standing there on the deck of a ship when some kid stuck a knife into his ass. That kid must have one hell of a throwing arm for the blade to go all that way.

Anubis was worried that he'd rust through in a day? Really. What's he made of, cotton candy? And can a stand even rust?

I wonder what Jojo will do with the sheath now that Anubis is gone.

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"On tonight's Stardust Crusaders, the role of buttmonkey shall not be played by Jean Pierre Polnareff. Instead, that role shall be played by Joseph Joestar."

Seriously, Joseph/Oldjo acts the fool from the jump. He freaks out about the prospect of using sand in place of toilet paper. He gets shocked by a power outlet embedded in a giant rock. Yes . . . A ROCK. Fails to notice metal stuff sticking to him. Almost gets killed on an escalator. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, as he gets nailed by Mariah (common enough a name not to deal with Ms. Carey's lawyers) and her magnetism Stand, Bast (hey, just in time for Black Panther in theaters!!) And as if that wasn't bad enough, Avdol gets zapped as well, and now the guys are stuck to each other. The whole episode is hysterical, especially with Oldjo screaming in Engrish.

Bonus: some poor bastard is building a box, and he has three nails in his teeth with Oldjo passes by. The nails ripped through his cheek.

Oh, and the Speedwagon Foundation doctors are coming to fix Kakioyin. Is it weird that I think that group would make for an interesting spinoff based on most incarnations? Basically, these are people who help the Joestars, and they could specialize in weird shit. I'm thinking intricate eye surgery performed on agents, enabling them to see Stands.

ETA: Iggy went with Oldjo while he was trying to find a place to shit. Apparently, Iggy is supposed to detect Stands. Nice job, Iggy. "Hey, what do you bastards want with me? I'm a dog! All I can do in Stand there. Bum-de-bump tssssh!" There was supposed to be a drum rimshot, which gets used in this series.

ETA: Here's a brief compilation of anime characters going "Oh, my God!" And guess who provides the first example?

Edited by Lantern7

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This episode was basically an excuse for Jojo to go "OH MY GOD!!!" over and over.

The bit with the escalator was unexpectedly timely, considering the news item about the dog stuck in an escalator that broke a little while ago.

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On 3/26/2018 at 12:04 AM, Sandman87 said:

This episode was basically an excuse for Jojo to go "OH MY GOD!!!" over and over.

You might be right. And check out the sub and dub. I think Richard Epcar has been doing a great job with Oldjo's many. many freakouts.

What's funnier: Oldjo figuring out he was magnetic before stumbling onto an escalator? Begging Mariah for help? Freaking the fuck out as he saw his life ending? Or playing it off after Avdol takes too long to explain that he wasn't dying?

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1 hour ago, Lantern7 said:

What's funnier:

The running gag of Jojo's many accidental pervert moments, especially with the old lady.

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ALERT!!!!

In case you didn't find out, Toonami's schedule got jacked up for April Fool's Day. They ran FLCL: Progressive at midight, followed by Mind Game going on now. I went to Toonami's main site and looked at the schedule, which is in kanji. I can't read it or copy-and-paste, but I can look up "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure" on Wikipedia . . . and the kanji matches the schedule for 2:45. I think that's when we'll see Joseph and Avdol's really bad day, courtesy of Mariah. "HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!"

ETA: Looks like subs for JBA. Dunno if the schedule with reair next week with dubs.

Edited by Lantern7

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Damn. The wackiness neatly covers up that Mariah's Stand sucks. Magnetism is an awesome force to mess with, but all she can do is put up a faux electrical socket, then hope her enemy is stupid enough to touch it. Avdol can be excused, since Bast was set up near the emergency shut-off switch. Joseph got shocked on a rock.

Anyway, the guys are stuck to each other, and it's a lot worse than Joseph's adventure with Empress. Okay, nobody got killed here, but we had the unholy image of Avdol trying to slide off Oldjo, his face on top of Oldjo's crotch. And a crowd is watching, because of course there is. One minute later? Simulated anal, with the old crone getting pissed off that Oldjo is into that. And all Mariah does is smoke, grin, and look hot doing it, but that's about it. Oh, and she unleashes nuts and bolts as weapons hidden in her bra, simulating breast expansion. But thanks to Oldjo's cunning, she gets crushed in the debris attracted to the heroes, totally Looney Tunes style. The captions suggest she was "retired" from broken bones. It looked a lot worse than that.

While that's going on, Jotaro, Polnareff and Iggy are being stalked by a dude named Alessi, who looks to have a shadowy Stand.

I like the original dub. Like I've said, when Joseph yells in Engrish, it's so funny. Richard Epcar has been doing a good job in the English dub, but watching the original version is fun to watch (and listen to) as well.

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I got this sketch yesterday at a comic show. I think it's a good likeness of the most unlikely-looking Stand user shown thus far.

forever.jpg.be6e7c91fc11797452543f0e6f22aac7.jpg

ETA: Just found out Avdol's namesake . . . is Paula Abdul. Huh?!?

Edited by Lantern7

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Just checked Toonami's schedule on Saturday. "Bast's Mariah" will be run again, and I'm assuming it will have the English dub.

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Had to work mighty hard to suspend disbelief for this episode. Magnetism doesn't work like that! Especially against non-magnetic things like gold teeth and aluminum cans.

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On 4/6/2018 at 2:54 AM, Sandman87 said:

Had to work mighty hard to suspend disbelief for this episode. Magnetism doesn't work like that! Especially against non-magnetic things like gold teeth and aluminum cans.

This anime demands outright expulsion of disbelief. If the plot calls for anything metallic to cling to Oldjo, it’s gonna happen. BTW, when the cans and teeth were flying, anybody else notice the dog getting pulled on his chain? Given this series, I think that dog got killed.

Forgot to mention: Polnareff’s Japanese voice is also annoying. Also, we heard Jotaro mutter “Yare yare daze,” which is where “good grief” comes from. Apparently , that isn’t the exact translation. Hey, it beats “what a drag,” right?

Edited by Lantern7

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10 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

BTW, when the cans and teeth were flying, anybody else notice the dog getting pulled on his chain?

It looked like the dog was being pulled rather than his chain.

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It would be tough to be Mariah - only plastic sunglasses, no metal earring studs, no metal fasteners on clothing.  When she gets old, no metal replacement hip.  It might not be attracted to her, but it would be attracted to her opponents.

She’s in the hospital now, hope they don’t put metal pins in her broken bones.  

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@lathspel . . . I think she can control her Stand. It appears as an electrical outlet, and only those getting "shocked" are affected. She probably have to stay a distance where Bast would be effective AND she wouldn't get affected, but that's the only drawback. And the one time she seemed affected? Nuts and bolts in her bra. Cut to Joseph asking God if He would ever truly forgive him for peeping on his mother.

@Sandman87 . . . you're right. I still figure that dog's dead, though.

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Before I turn in . . . I got this sketch of Oldjo today. "OH NO" was the artist's idea. What do you think?

joseph-stardust.jpg.1e74d7311563f1d9e58d245559eb696e.jpg

Edited by Lantern7

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This week: Polnareff falls prey to primo asshole Alessi, whose Stand turns him into a kid. A kid in oversized clothes with the white Guile hair. And Jotaro didn't put two and two together. Bullshit. He probably followed the dumbass Frenchman around, waiting to unleash Star Platinum on Aleesi at the perfect moment. On the bright side Totnareff is kinda cute. Lil Silver Chariot is cuter, though.

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"Hmm...this kid has clothing like Polnareff's, and his hair is like Polnareff's, and his earrings are exactly the same as Polnareff's...that can only mean...that they're both following the same fashion trend! Good grief."

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I found this episode to be pretty boring.  Not a fan of Polnareff.  

 

Also, I feel like they should have had this closing song (Last Train Home) for the previous season and "Walk like an Egyptian" for this season since last season they were traveling and now they are in Egypt. 

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On 4/8/2018 at 1:00 AM, Sandman87 said:

It looked like the dog was being pulled rather than his chain.

Here's my mind went. Even for Robot Chicken, it's dark.

 

On 4/17/2018 at 10:43 AM, Matt K said:

Also, I feel like they should have had this closing song (Last Train Home) for the previous season and "Walk like an Egyptian" for this season since last season they were traveling and now they are in Egypt. 

I reckon the melancholy nature of the music fits better in the second half of the anime.

I haven't checked . . . has "Diamond Is Unbreakable" been dubbed?

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This week: Alessi basically torments the shit out of Polnareff, making him even younger. Also, as per @jbrecken, he turned Polnareff's rescuer into a fetus. Polnareff does get in some decent movies . . . like shitting in the tub as Alessi tries to drown him. And then setting up a semi-intricate hiding place and ambushing Alessi, using Silver Chariot to slice the hell out of that ugly face. Alessi gets knocked out of the window . . . and lands in front of Jotaro. Alessi actually uses Seth to shrink Jotaro down to seven years . . . and back then, he didn't have Star Platinum. Unfortunately, Alessi doesn't realize that Jotaro was fuckin' tough for a seven-year-old. One knocked-out a-hole later, the re-aged Jotaro and Polnareff use their Stands to Team Rocket Alessi. The end.

Well, there is a bit of denouement with Polnareff biding the lady goodbye without revealing what had happened. Either Polnereff really is a gentleman, or "Some guy turned you into a fetus" was too big a hassle to explain. The guys meet Joseph and Avdol, who are recovering from their battle with Mariah, and DIO's residence is revealed.

Lil Jotaro shouting "ORA ORA ORA!!!!" was adorable. Also, I was wrong about Jotaro playing dumb. In his defense, I forgot that Adult Polnareff has the eraser hair. Lil Polnareff had the Guile hair.

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If anyone ever asks me "Hey, what anime would be the best one to watch if I want to throw up?", I can now supply them with a definitive answer. Bonus link: How to say "poo" in Japanese.

The trick that Polnareff pulled with the aquarium and the mirror is a pretty common way for stage magicians to hide things from the audience.

I like the fact that Alessi's axe is clearly labeled. Might be embarrassing if he mistook it for his toothbrush.

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In case you missed "D'Arby The Gambler":

Joseph: Okay, men! We got a fix on where DIO is hiding out! We get to him, kick his ass, and comfort Holly within the week! Now . . . let's drink tea in a dramatic and synchronized manner and shake down people for information!

D'Arby: I may be able to help you . . .

[record scratch . . . the screen freezes]

Narrator: Hello! I am your humble narrator! If you just started watching the series, you should know what the seasoned otaku already know: Our Heroes suffer from a brain ailment found in so many shonen protagonists. They are wary of encountering Stand users. They feel ready to face down those minions of DIO. But when one of those foes just ambles up to them . . . well . . .

[action resumes]

D'Arby: That's it. You win the bet, I give you gentlemen the information you need. If I win, I get your soul.

Polnareff: I feel really good about my chances!

[record scratch/freeze]

Narrator: Polanreff doesn't have this ailment. He's just that stupid. Lets fast-forward the next two minutes . . .

[resumes]

Polnareff: MON DIEU!!!!! WHY DID THE CAT GO FOR THE SMALLER PIECE?!? [Osiris kneads Polnareff's soul into a poker chip]

Joseph: HOLY OH MY GOD SHIT!!!!

Jotaro & Avdol: [facepalming] Such a dumbass.

Narrator: I know, right?!?

D'Arby: Full disclosure? I'm a gambler, I have a Stand, I set up situations, and then I take people's souls when they lose!

Joseph: Ahhhhh! But what if I set up the game?!?

Avdol: Mr. Joestar, I advise strongly against this course of action!

Joseph: Avdol, I know what I'm doing. The way I'll set this game up, I can't help but win. And you do know why?

Jotaro: Because you'll cheat your ass off?

Joseph: Each of us Joestars have a thing. My grandfather was the noble one. You're the stoic badass. I'm the guy that does whatever it takes to win! Just watch!!

Narrator: They never learn, do they? Moving the action forward . . .

Joseph:SON OF AN OH MY SHIT !!!! (loses his soul)

Avdol: You monster!!! You cheated!!!!!

D'Arby: Let me get this right . . . Mr. Joestar rigs a game, he's the good guy. I figure out a way to win, I'm still the bad guy. And you're supposed to be the noble one.

Jotaro: Enough bullshit. My turn!

Avdol: We've lost two men already!

Jotaro: Look, if I lose, you play him. You lose, grab Iggy and use him as a shield. Osiris gets his soul, you get one more shot.

Avdol: Didn't we have another member of our party? A mild-mannered redhead that attended your school?

Jotaro: Good grief. A Japanese guy can't have red hair. That's impossible, Avdol. Now . . . I'm going to play poker to get our friends’ souls back from this asshole. You know . . . normal stuff.

Edited by Lantern7
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I suppose that D'Arby just hands around in cafes with his cat running loose nearby, just on the off chance that someone will be dumb enough to wager their soul on the Cat Challenge. And that the cat is well trained enough to read the mind of whoever he's wagering against and go for the other piece.

D'Arby's stand would have been better suited (no pun intended) for Devo and his Devil tarot.

Edited by Sandman87

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No dialogue spoof from me this week, because the action was just too damn funny to parody. Basically, Jotaro gets inside D'Arby's head, and the expert gambler turns into a gibbering wreck of a man. I think he even aged 30-40 years in the process . . . and unlike Baron Zeppelli, he didn't have to get cut in half to make that happen.

Seriously, what's not to love? Jotaro puts his soul on the line . . . and Avdol's . . . and Kakioyin's . . . and his ailing mother's . . . without even looking at his cards. And it worked. You gotta dig Jotaro. In situations where Star Platinum can't just knock out the problem, Jotaro's nerves and stone face work just as well. And the Stand did some work in snaring a cigarette and drink for Jotaro, as D'Arby kept waiting for Jotaro to reveal his big move . . . which turned out to be "Making D'Arby look like he mistook a golden cup for the Holy Grail." Love to Avdol as well . . . Jotaro puts up Kakioyin's soul, Avdol yells at him for being uncouth. Afterward, upon seeing Jotaro's shitty hand (D'Arby had four kings, which was pretty tough to beat in a "normal" situation), Avdol almost fainted. And the kid/ringer dealer probably shit his pants as well.

Spoiler

Next week: The return of Hol Horse . . . and Boingo Mondatta, Did we really care about either of them? I mean, all Hol Horse suffered was humiliation from Enyaba. Mondatta just got pummeled.

Edited by Lantern7

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An entire episode without Jojo yelling "Oh my God!!!"

I swear that I've seen that exact poker scenario before somewhere, where the protagonist doesn't even look at his hand and bluffs the hell out of the other guy. Can't remember where though. Another anime? A movie? A book? TV show?

I bet Jotaro knew the entire time that the kid was in on D'Arby's scam.

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13 hours ago, Sandman87 said:

I swear that I've seen that exact poker scenario before somewhere, where the protagonist doesn't even look at his hand and bluffs the hell out of the other guy. Can't remember where though. Another anime? A movie? A book? TV show?

The climax in Maverick where Mel Gibson doesn't even look at the final card dealt to him? That's all I got. Also: if TV poker was like the match between Jotaro and D'arby, I would totally watch on a regular basis.

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This week: Wild West stereotype Hol Horse teams with Boingo Mondatta, and it goes past this episode. So, yeah, Mondatta is peaking.

After losing a dick-measuring contest with DIO, Hol Horse comes to Cairo (more on that below) and more or less abducts Mondatta. Turns out Oingo Zenydatta is still recovering from getting blown up and pummeled, so the little brother has free time. There's not much time with the Crusaders. Mostly, it's Mondatta telling Hol Horse to BELIEVE in the prophecies of Toth (yes!), and Hol Horse not buying into in completely. Then "fate" and the book compel him to kick a woman in the neck. Turns out she had a scorpion on her ready to sting, and she gives him a valuable necklace. We end with the French stereotype getting the drop on the American stereotype,, and Hol Horse -- going by the book -- shoving his fingers up Polnareff's nose. And that's where we end. Also, the credits with imagery from Toth.

I'm not getting the airport scene. It's been established that the Crusaders are really close to DIO. Hol Horse and DIO have their scene at the beginning. Only thing I can think that makes sense is that Hol Horse flew to wherever Mondatta was, then came back. But I don't know if a flight was needed. Once again, I need a life.

Edited by Lantern7

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Something a friend of mine used to be fond of saying: "You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friend's nose." Enemy noses are evidently fair game. I'm a little curious how that's going to translate into Team Jotaro losing blood.

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This. THIS,

And it ties to this, which . . . wow. Some people have way too much time on their hands. Here? It's awesomely used.

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For anybody reading this: Toonami is running the original finale of FLCL, so everything afterward gets bumped back fifteen minutes, including JBA. Also, there’s an FLCL marathon next week, so no “new” episode.

ETA: In most stories, one of the Crusaders earns status as the best guy. Last time, it was Jotaro mindfucking D'arby. Before that, it was Polnareff thinking fast even after Alessi shrunk him down to a three-year-old. With "Hol Horse & Mondatta," the Crusaders are clueless about the whole stories. And it was all Hol Horse's fault. I don't blame him for giving himself to Boingo's Mondatta's book. But he . . .

  • Forgot his Stand was invisible to most naked eyes.
  • Not realizing his watch was fast and that there was a big clock nearby.
  • Completely forgetting that Emperor fires magic bullets that always find its target. Unless something gets in the way. Like Hol Horse's head, for instance.

Anyway, Whole Horse's Ass goes to the hospital, and Mondatta decides to do good things with his life. Before that, he kicks a box in the air to symbolize his casting off weakness. But it lands on Iggy's head. And Iggy does not take it well at all. He doesn't even break out Fool. Just keeps biting the little bastard and sending him to the hospital. And the Crusaders officially lose another God Stand user. But you have to admit, it was pretty hysterical, as fate kept smacking people around. And Polnareff -- held at Emperor-point -- trying to signal the others of Hol Horse through his tongue. That was funny.

I've been poking around on a Jojo Wikia. Toth's illustration of Hol Horse's bullets looking human reminded me of Sex Pistols, a Stand used in Vento Aureo (the fifth volume of the series).

Edited by Lantern7

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“It’s awesome being the world’s wealthiest beggar! I’ll just take this and go back to Mr. Joestar and his weird friends! Say, that’s an unusual-looking falcon above me. And a gigantic icicl-OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH, FUUUU-“

Like I said, anybody the Crusaders meet is either an agent of DIO, or about to be killed by one. This week: surly, dog-murdering falcon. Well, at least Iggy is earning his keep. He might as well have been at the hospital all this time, keeping Kakyoin company.

Edited by Lantern7

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So far we've got stand-using gorillas, dogs, and falcons. What's next, a villainous stand-using houseplant? Or maybe it'll be an evil hot dog.

 

6 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

It’s awesome being the world’s wealthiest beggar!

Real life: One of the reporters for the local weekly alternative news magazine here spent a couple of weeks watching our town's beggars. More than one of them ended up driving home in some sort of luxury car that they had parked near their begging spots.

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