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"Bloody Torchwood": Favorite Quotes

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"Excuse me. Have you seen a Blowfish driving a sports car?"

Any memorable quotes? By character? By episode? Place them here.

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I know it's from Doctor who but :

Jack: What's the Defabricator? Okay. Defabricator. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?
Android: Absolutely!
Jack: Ladies, your viewing figures just went up :D

~~~~~~~

Android 1: And now it's time for the face off.
Jack: What does that mean? Do I get to compete with someone else?
Android 1: No. Like I said, "Face. Off." I think you'd look good with a dog's head.
Android 2: Or maybe no head at all. That would be so outrageous.
Android 1: And we could stitch your legs to the middle of your chest.
Android 2: Nothing is too extreme. It's to die for.
Jack: Hold on, ladies. I don't want to have to shoot either one of you.
Android 1: But you're unarmed.
Android 2: You're naked!
Android 1 : But that's a compact laser deluxe!
Android 1: Where were you hiding that?
Jack: You really don't want to know. 

Edited by tarotx

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    Jack: Found your diary.
    Ianto: Yep, been looking for that. [starts to walk away]
    Jack: And for the record? [ianto freezes] Measuring tapes never lie.
    Ianto: [quietly] Fuck.

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CoE (I paraphrase because I refuse to check scripts.)

Stock Villain SubDominar:  "We found Jones.  Harkness can't be far away."

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From Everything Changes:

Jack: And this is Ianto Jones. Ianto cleans up after us, gets us everywhere on time.

Ianto: I try my best.

Jack: And he looks good in a suit.

Ianto: Careful, that's harassment, sir.

From Cyberwoman:

Tosh: All I'm saying is that once in a while I'd like to drive.

Owen: Yeah, and all I'm saying is no.

Tosh: Why not?

Owen: Look I've shared cars with women before, I know what'll happen, there's an emergency, all raring to go, I jump in, what do I find? Seat's in the wrong position, rear view mirrors out of line, steering wheel's in my crotch. By the time I've sorted all that out, aliens will have taken Newport!

Gwen: What about a rota? Different people on different days?

Jack: We're a secret organization hunting alien technology from an underground base, and you want a rota for who drives.

Gwen: Just trying to help...

From Sleeper:

Ianto: 'Just us. In this room. As long as it takes.' Terrifying.

Jack: Really?

Ianto: Absolutely. Shivers down my spine.

Jack: You don't look scared.

Ianto: Well, it passed.

From Exit Wounds:

Tosh: Owen, just stay calm.

Owen: Why should I do that? Where's the fun in that? I'm gonna rage my way to oblivion!

Tosh: Please stop.

Owen: Why? Give me good bloody reason why I should, one good reason why I shouldn't keep screaming!

Tosh: Because you're breaking my heart!

Edited by indeed
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