Small Talk: Chili's

[EllieH]

 

BUT- if Glory has two jobs, then she and Guts are TINKs!  Triple Income, No Kids.

 

That would make me a SINK - Single Income, No Kids.  Or maybe a SINKS, with the extra S for Single?

[possibilities]

That would make me a SINK - Single Income, No Kids.  Or maybe a SINKS, with the extra S for Single?

Me, too, Ellie.

 

Kev: I am pretty sure my mother drove me to college, but I have absolutely zero recollection of it. I remember my first day there (we had several days of orientation before classes started), I was aimlessly walking around campus in between the scheduled events, and the first person I met was a very conservative Christian girl who was the mistress of a married man many years older than she was. She was very forcefully telling me how evil the wife was, and how her sainted boyfriend was going to divorce his wife, get custody of his kid, and then marry her and take her away from this place, and also that evolution was not true. She was friendly to me and said that in the meanwhile we should "catch some rays" which meant sunbathing, but I had never heard it described that way before and so I immediately felt very uncool, plus I was panicking because I was a non-monogamous lesbian teenager who had more faith in evolution than Jesus yet still didn't believe in having a secret affair with a married person was okay, and was pretty sure her boyfriend was a slimebag at best. I had chosen the college partly because I thought it would be a liberal place I would fit in more, and this encounter had me seriously doubting my decision. As it turned out, I did meet other people who were more my types, and this girl actually left before the year was over, though I don't know if she left to get married as planned, or if she dropped out for some other reason. I felt bad for her, either way, to be honest. And when I transferred to a different school for my junior year, I took Amtrak by myself-- no parents around.

[Glory]

I thought the S made it plural. No secret S word, I swear.

Peapod delivery was all I had hoped for and more.

[Too Late Kev]

possibilities, I don't think my kids will necessarily care that I'm personally there to drop them off at school -- I'm the one who'd feel I was missing out if I couldn't. It may happen that way, but I sure hope not. :)

[Kalliste]

so I bought Citites: Skylines yesterday, so I'll see you in like 5 weeks

 

 

I was super excited to get buses! I 'rode' them to see how cool my chosen routes were.. it was more fun than the bus trips I actually had to take today.

[Setlist]

I'm a bit late, but -- Glory, I used Peapod for the first time two weeks ago! It was totally convenient -- they gave me about three updates through e-mail about when my delivery would be expected, and the guy showed up right when he was supposed to. Also, he checked the eggs we got to make sure they were still in tact. He was pretty darn friendly, which helped me not be nervous that he was physically in my home.

One bad thing? Meats. And dairy. Pretty much anything with a set expiration. It's kind of a bummer to not be able to choose this stuff by date and sight. We got some chicken that went bad, like, the next day. Everything else was fine.

So, good when you don't have the time, but not good for a weekly option, in my opinion.

[Glory]

I don't eat meat, so bonus? LOL 

 

We eat very little dairy as well... mostly my husband likes some american cheese slices and I'll munch on string cheese occasionally. So, I think it's a particularly good fit for me. Guts was kind of incredulous at first - he said it made him feel pretentious - but when he saw how happy it made me, he came around. He's a good guy, that Guts. 

[EllieH]

To change the topic, and taking a page out of Glory's book from a few weeks back, yesterday was my last day at my old job!  New one starts Monday, so I get a whole day off to relax.

 

Out of curiosity, when you all have left jobs in the past, how much did you tell the company in the exit interview?  I went with the "basically nothing, so as not to burn any bridges" approach, though I'm wondering a day later if I should have aired some of those petty grievances (i.e. ongoing IT problems -- I had to call the help desk twice on my second to last day! or that my boss plays favorites, and its hard to compete when some of those 'favorites' are past employees he remembers fondly).  Thoughts?  Too late to do anything about it now, of course! 

[Glory]

I didn't say anything really negative.

 

I did mention, however, that the new company was paying me SIGNIFICANTLY more than they were and that they allowed a much more flexible work schedule (work from home days, 9/80 schedule, etc...). I let them know that there was no reason our small, 10 person department could not have those perks and if they were not going to offer raises it would do a lot to boost morale. 

 

I felt even that was "pushing it" in terms of being negative. I did give major props to my boss, though, as he was a great boss and I'll miss him. 

[Kalliste]

I aired a lot at my last job. The exit interview was from a member of the HR team and they provided an 11 page document to fill out about the good and the bad.

 

I acknowledged it was a good company and noted the people who made the place a good place to work but then didn't hold back on the poor management in my section/account and that they were making poor decisions and the staff all hated the job etc.

 

I mostly stated that I was really disappointed I had to move on as I would have liked to have been involved in the future with them but couldn't deal with the position/role I was in any longer.

[Pixel]

I think it's important to give truthful feedback in a professional way. There's nothing wrong with saying you're moving on because of issues at the company, as long as you're not like, "It just sucks here and everyone else hates it too".

[King of Birds]

I once gave about 7 weeks notice, put a calendar on my office door and circled (with a red sharpie) the last day I'd be there. I was not asked to give feedback on my way out the door.

 

So Ellie, what happened? Why'd you change up? I mean, Glory gave us a whole play by play- I remember one day she posted here saying "amuse me before my interview" so I did, and then we waited when she waited, got an offer, tried to help with the offer ... she had a going away day, etc.  You just pop up here, and you're all "Yo, I quit that last place, Imma at a new pad, should I have done some donuts in the parking lot when I left yesterday??"

 

In other words, way to keep us informed. Yo.

 

eta: Oh! And my other fav part about leaving that job I described above: I knew my direct line number to my office. After giving all the advance notice (there was a big project that I said I would finish, then leave that's why it was so long) that company had still not replaced me a week after I had left. When they finally did, I called the office and the woman who replaced me picked up.

"Hello?" she said.

"RUN! Run away! Run for your life!" I said like I was the killer in a B-movie. (She knew me and laughed)

 

Yeah. I almost wish I had an exit interview for that job.

Edited May 2, 2015 by King of Birds

[Kalliste]

My previous job was the only one I've had an exit interview for KOB.. granted I haven't had too many jobs. 

 

My first was fast food, I gave them 3 days notice and my resignation was handwritten, my boss told me what to write.

I was made redundant from the second after 5.5 years when the site closed. The 3rd I resigned, the boss might not even have said goodbye. I can't remember

The 4th made redundant again with no opportunity to say how I felt. and then the last was number 5.

 

So not overly interesting :P

[Kalliste]

I remembered another plus of buying groceries online.. you can use the search bar! Don't know what aisle the product is in? No worries, just search for it :)

 

So, off topic, tonight we're (the guy and I) watching the last episode of Daredevil and there was a massive engagement ring involved (not sure if anyone here watches it) and I was like 'woah, that's huge. I wouldn't want a ring that takes over my finger!' and the guy says "i won't buy something that big then" . So, we're people that don't really care one way or the other about marriage and I just assume we'll just never get married but you know, who knows.. if we do though I don't want an engagement ring (which he knows) as it seems pointless and I'd prefer just a wedding ring (I think this is more common in many countries but western countries are very much about the engagement ring and how big the diamond is, right?) but maybe one with diamonds, like an eternity ring.

 

Anyway, how do I say "hey if we were ever to do this, this is the type of ring I'd like" without giving the impression of "you need to ask me to marry you right now!!! Why haven't you asked me already? WANT TO LOOK AT MY WEDDING IDEAS BOOK???" ?

[Too Late Kev]

My husband and I looked for rings together.

 

I guess I might just bring up what he said when watching Daredevil and then say, "Hey, if we were ever to do this..." ;) But ring choice aside, you might want to discuss the general concept of marriage since you were kind of assuming you'd go on as you've been, and his comment indicates something else.

 

On another subject entirely, we're going to go see Avengers/Ultron/whatever it's called exactly today. :)

[EllieH]

 

So Ellie, what happened? Why'd you change up?

 

Nowhere to go at my last job, up or laterally, so I decided to make a change.  And really had decided to do so last year, just waited it out to get my bonus money so I could finish paying off my car (yay reasonable adult financial decisions!).  The job search actually went faster than I expected, I had interviews with three different places, and the one I ended up with offered me the job the same week as the in-person interview, so that was a good thing!  I gave two weeks notice at work but it was more like three weeks, as my boss was out of town on both ends so I had to wait to tell him and then stay a few days longer than planned so he'd be there my last day.

 

I start tomorrow, we'll see how it goes!

[Too Late Kev]

Good luck, Ellie!

[Pixel]

Anyway, how do I say "hey if we were ever to do this, this is the type of ring I'd like" without giving the impression of "you need to ask me to marry you right now!!! Why haven't you asked me already? WANT TO LOOK AT MY WEDDING IDEAS BOOK???" ?

I actually did do this. I had found a gorgeous ring made by an artist. I'm not a jewelry person, but I do love unique art. This ring is a tension set simple solitaire, with half matte finish and a few tiny diamonds set into the band. I told my then-boyfriend, "If we ever do get engaged, I want this ring. No other. Otherwise, don't bother to get me a ring." I didn't mean I wouldn't marry him, just that if it wasn't THAT ring I didn't need any ring at all. It wasn't even expensive, although at the time it felt like it was, because we both were working low paying jobs.

I got that ring.

[Glory]

I picked out my ring. I told GutsI wanted a pear shaped stone and he told his mom "Oh, I'm looking for rings and Glory wants a pear." And she said, "Oh! I have a pear. Here you go!" and then we went and picked out a setting together and had the bands custom made. 

It's my dream ring. It's beautiful and unique and I love it so much! 

 

I will post a picture because I am a big attention whore! 

 

[smrou]

That's a really cool ring, Glory!

 

I would definitely not want an engagement ring, and I think if I were to the point of discussing marriage with someone I would just make that clear. I don't know if it's here that we discussed things like proposals, but I'm also very opposed to the concept of a surprise proposal (for me...others can of course do as they please) so before any "official" proposal happened, if it were to happen, I know I would have discussed marriage and various details surrounding it with the person and my desire not to have an engagement ring is something I'd bring up in that context. 

 

When my sister got engaged, there was never any official proposal--they just started planning the wedding, which is the point at which I considered them engaged though to be honest I'm not sure they ever used that word--and at least for a time I know her fiancé did intend to get her a ring (a hand-me-down from family) but for whatever reason it just never happened. So they just have wedding rings. Particularly cool ones, in my opinion.

 

And my friends who got married in the fall, they have rings that they wore through their engagement, but those are also the rings they exchanged in the ceremony. So they're wedding rings now, but I guess before the wedding they were engagement rings?

Edited May 4, 2015 by smrou

[Too Late Kev]

Pretty rings!! Glory's has lots of little diamonds, too! Shiny! :)

 

I'm with smrou on the surprise engagement thing...horrors! I guess some people like that sort of thing (like Angela loves "babies dressed as grownups" posters), but I wouldn't want to be the center of attention when asked such an important thing. That said, we didn't have a real proposal either, just a "this is what we want to happen, let's go look for rings..." When we got my ring, then we announced the proposal in a very informal "We're engaged!" kind of way.

 

After my first pregnancy, my engagement ring no longer fit. The wedding ring was tough to get on and off, too, but since I always left it on, it didn't really matter. But the engagement ring was just too tight to take on and off to clean and such, so I didn't wear it for years and years. I'd like to announce that I finally lost that baby weight and started wearing the engagement ring again...but that would be a big fat lie. In truth, I got the ring resized. My fingers, like my feet which grew a half size with each pregnancy, are never going to go back to pre-pregnancy size. It was admit it or never wear my beautiful diamond again.

[Kalliste]

Lovely rings Glory and those ones are so awesome smrou! I don't think I've ever seen rings like that, I really like them.

 

How do you not have a surprise proposal? I feel like, here at least, there is this pressure on the guy (assuming it is a relationship with a male in it) to pop the question in some romantic gesture. I know if my guy did that it wouldn't be a big thing with thousands of people watching, so there is that at least.. we'd probably be sitting at home in pyjamas watching Doctor Who :P

 

Where rings discussions are concerned I think for us it happened either before we were a couple or very early on. His parents were having a discussion about engagement rings and he asked me, separately, what I'd thought of it and I said I can't see any need for an engagement ring at all as they seem like they used to be used in an ownership sense and these days it's like they're used as competition between women. I don't think he ever worked out what to do with that information because here everyone has engagement rings so how do you propose to someone without one! Once again, unwarranted pressure.

 

So basically, you guys would be like "oh hey.. what are your thoughts on getting married?"

[smrou]

How do you not have a surprise proposal?

Easy--by having already discussed marriage and decided that you're both on board for it. By "surprise proposal" I mean it being genuinely unexpected that the person is proposing. Not that the specific moment/method of proposal is necessarily expected, but that it is going to happen at all is totally known in advance.

So basically, you guys would be like "oh hey.. what are your thoughts on getting married?"

Well...yeah. To me that seems like a pretty natural conversation to have with a person you're in a serious relationship with.

[Glory]

Easy--by having already discussed marriage and decided that you're both on board for it. By "surprise proposal" I mean it being genuinely unexpected that the person is proposing. Not that the specific moment/method of proposal is necessarily expected, but that it is going to happen at all is totally known in advance.

Exactly!

 

Guts and I knew we wanted to get married. We had been living together for a year at that point and dating for several years (some of you may remember we started dating when I was 17). I saw a pretty ring and told him about it. He said, "Oh yeah, I've been looking at rings but can't find anything I'm crazy about." 

 

Then we went together and his mom offered up a diamond and viola! We were engaged. He didn't "ask" me or anything. The ring had been finished for about a week and I wasn't wearing it yet for some reason and then we both said, "Want to be engaged now?" We were sitting on the couch in the middle of the day playing with the dog. After that we went and told everyone. LOL  Pretty low key. No surprise. 

 

Now... my best friend was completely surprised by her proposal and I think she liked it. Her boyfriend at the time called me and said, "I want to propose at her graduation party." Keep in mind this was about three days away. He also knew NOTHING about diamonds. So I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off to try to find a ring that she would love and that was within his budget. It all worked out okay and she was shocked, but the proposal was at a HUGE party in front of at least a hundred people. Not my idea of a good time. 

 

What I don't understand is folks who get engaged without ever having had those important conversations. The conversations about the future and finances and babies and things like that. And, trust me, I know folks who have gotten engaged without having had those talks. It... never goes well. 

 

My sister and her BF were having some problems. She was wondering if he was the one and he got it into his head to propose. It was going to be a surprise while they were on vacation. I actually ended up telling her it was coming because I thought there was a good chance she'd say "no" and didn't want it to surprise her or to feel like she had to say yes. She DID say yes, but she had had plenty of time to really think about it at the point and not just blurt out an answer while put on the spot. (By the way, she was not mad at me for ruining the surprise. She was glad I did.) 

Edited May 5, 2015 by Glory

[Kalliste]

Then we went together and his mom offered up a diamond and viola! We were engaged. He didn't "ask" me or anything. The ring had been finished for about a week and I wasn't wearing it yet for some reason and then we both said, "Want to be engaged now?" We were sitting on the couch in the middle of the day playing with the dog. After that we went and told everyone. LOL  Pretty low key. No surprise. 

This is sort of how our relationship came to be. We had a drunk fun night but I'd only recently broken up with my previous partner.. because he was a jerk and I wanted to be with my current guy. I asked him to wait for a while because I was still living, while broken up, with the ex jerk and didn't want things to be more difficult than they already were.

 

Eventually he said "so.. are we a we now?" and I said yes and that was that.

 

So low key is our deal. We both know we don't want kids (I'm very adamant about that.. my ex knew I didn't want them but told me, at the end, he thought I'd change my mind even though I said it a hundred times - probably more), I don't want to be with someone that does and have one of us make a massive sacrifice. But marriage is a thing we've lightly talked about but never really that we should or shouldn't, just that it's an option if we want to take it. So I suppose I could start a conversation about clarifying what he wants and go from there.

 

My sister and her BF were having some problems. She was wondering if he was the one and he got it into his head to propose. It was going to be a surprise while they were on vacation. I actually ended up telling her it was coming because I thought there was a good chance she'd say "no" and didn't want it to surprise her or to feel like she had to say yes. She DID say yes, but she had had plenty of time to really think about it at the point and not just blurt out an answer while put on the spot. (By the way, she was not mad at me for ruining the surprise. She was glad I did.) 

There was a girl at my last work who got pregnant on accident, she didn't think she was able to have kids but this baby proved her wrong :P The relationship was dysfunctional before that happened.. not that they were willing to admit that.

 

Anyway after the pregnancy announcement and moving in together he decided to surprise her with the question.. It's going to be a terrible marriage, assuming they even get that far. She didn't know it was coming though and he probably couldn't afford the ring he bought so, surprise.. woo.

[Too Late Kev]

I misspoke above -- I can see being surprised by a proposal. What I really don't get is the big "event" proposal, in front of a bunch of friends and family, often with a bunch of other people in on it. I wouldn't want other people to know about it before I did!! So proposing at a graduation party, proposing at a restaurant and having your family showing up there, any of that stuff...no, no, no.

[King of Birds]

Engagement proposals? I'm sorry, did I sign on to the Lifetime Channel thread here?

 

Not too much time today. I realize that sometimes ... rarely?  No, more than a few times, I have picked on Glory. I know! You probably didn't sense it.  So I offered her the opportunity to have her own poll. And what did she pick?

[Setlist]

Oh god, one of the most awkward things is when a big proposal gets turned down and then hits YouTube. (Sorry KoB, keeping this topic alive!)

 

What I don't understand is folks who get engaged without ever having had those important conversations. The conversations about the future and finances and babies and things like that. And, trust me, I know folks who have gotten engaged without having had those talks. It... never goes well.

 

Yes! Or, the people who figure the other will change their mind with time. I have two friends who broke up, since he definitely didn't want kids and she wasn't sure. She knew this all along, but really thought that with time, he'd think differently. It was rough, since they truly cared about each other.

 

My proposal was unexpected. We chatted about marriage awhile back, but he said he'd need to start saving for a ring. He ended up giving me an heirloom ring (after cluing his parents in) and I really was taken aback. The con is, I didn't really get to choose it or have any input. But really, hearing about his stories on resizing the ring/guessing my ring size/choosing which ring to use/hiding the ring in our apartment made it all worth it, no matter what. 

[Too Late Kev]

That YouTube video, while certainly romantic, is maybe a bit much? I don't know, I just don't get doing that for a year. I feel like whatever the equivalent of a Grinch is for romance, but why does a person make a big group production out of this? And the proposal video was enough, but then the signs to get her down to the beach? I guess he had to do something like that to reveal him on the beach at the end, but still...bah, humbug (or its equivalent).

[King of Birds]

The only thing I'll give that guy, is he gave himself a year to bail. [White card "July 7 2014: You farted in bed. It was a doozy. Rethinking this marriage thing today"]  (If something like that came up, forgive me. I did NOT watch 15 minutes of sappiness, I used the old 'drag the player' mode to just see parts) Also I figure the whole thing with the signs to the beach- he got her sister, then brother, than parents involved. WAY too much thought into it.

 

FYI I don't know what's up with the poll, but it's definitely not working well showing results. Same host company, but in the last week they did some re-design and it's seemingly still in beta mode.

 

Lastly, "booooooooo!" to Setlist for keeping this proposal thing alive.

Edited May 6, 2015 by King of Birds

[Too Late Kev]

I would not want to be that cherished, which sounds weird.

 

It was a year of proposal-stalking!

[Kalliste]

I feel like I have to watch that video now to be involved in the group eyeroll of it all.. it's 15mins though, that's long in my youtube books.. lets see how far I get.

 

3mins in and I can only thing "oh man this is corny.. Ugh, the song! Oh who is this guy?" 

 

Also, I thought people would have learnt by now not to do stuff like propose or get married on another 'special' day. If they get divorced, every birthday afterwards will be a memory of the day she agreed to marry that douche.

[Glory]

I would not want to be that cherished

 

 

This is cracking me up! Though it is true! I mean, I always feel bad when I meet a couple and one of the two is way more into the other. It's awkward. 

 

StewedSquash, my husband is like your husband. I can offhandedly mention something I want and he'll remember and get it for me. He's good about that. 

 

To change the subject for KoB - I am a terrible gift giver. I over think it WAY too much and then end up getting something that the other person only pretends to like. It absolutely does not come naturally to me. HOWEVER, Guts has his eye on a 1978 Trans Am that we might be purchasing as a "fun" car so I feel like if I let him buy that I'm off the hook for presents for a while. Thoughts? 

[smrou]

Yeah, that proposal video crossed my path a little while ago and I watched the beginning but tired of it very quickly. I guess it's kind of sweet, but it seems so excessive. Also, the fact that he made the year-long video and then the process of her going to the beach to watch that video was also recorded and it was all cut together...it smacks of a project made with a wider audience in mind than just her. Maybe that's overly cynical of me--maybe the reason her walk to the beach and her watching of the proposal video was taped was just so that they could share it with their friends and family--but...I dunno, it just all feels so very produced.

[Pixel]

I misspoke above -- I can see being surprised by a proposal. What I really don't get is the big "event" proposal, in front of a bunch of friends and family, often with a bunch of other people in on it. I wouldn't want other people to know about it before I did!! So proposing at a graduation party, proposing at a restaurant and having your family showing up there, any of that stuff...no, no, no.

 

I couldn't agree more. In fact, I'll go you one better. I think people who do this are immature attention whores, and when a friend of mine did the big proposing in front of a group of people my eyes rolled so hard you could hear them.

 

ETA: I am amending this to include actors, because they are attention whores for a living, so I totally understand why they would want a proposal to be a performance, without maturity level necessarily being a factor.

Edited May 7, 2015 by Pixel

[Glory]

We're putting in an offer on the car today. Wish us luck! One more benefit to being a DINK. LOL

[Kalliste]

good luck! :)

 

Today I was walking from the post office to the bus and walked past a guy who, for whatever reason, decided to yell slut at me. I'm fairly certain he wasn't quite all there mentally or drugs were involved but I had to stop at a set of lights nearby and he kept just yelling out stuff about how skanky I was.. to put it into context I had work pants, work shirt, jacket and scarf on so it's not like I was dressed inappropriately and I didn't say anything to him but  he kept yelling about how I should be ashamed of myself and to think about that...

 

I'm mostly just glad he didn't make it physical but no idea what set him off I was just happy when the lights changed and I could cross.

[King of Birds]

We're putting in an offer on the car today. Wish us luck! One more benefit to being a DINK. LOL

On the '78 TransAm? You're both nuts. (And again, you're TINKs, not DINKs)

[Glory]

Why are we nuts? Yes, it's the TransAm. He's so ridiculously excited. 

[smrou]

I hope you get the TransAm. It'll be fun! I love my Mustang ('65). It's garaged all winter so it doesn't get that much road time, and every time I drive it I'm acutely aware of how ridiculously unsafe it is compared to modern cars, but it's still fun!

[King of Birds]

Is it this black and gold one?

 

Is this red coupe the one you have smrou?

Edited May 8, 2015 by King of Birds

[Glory]

It looks like this. Red body, black phoenix with t-tops and black leather interior. It's sweet. 

 

 

They accepted our offer! Woo! Hopefully it will be here in about two weeks. 

[King of Birds]

So happy that Guts got his chick-magnet car! Woo!

[possibilities]

Ellie, how was your first week on the new job?

 

Perfect time of year to buy the Trans Am!

 

I rode in a sports car once (I forget what model it was. It looked kind of like the Trans Am but it wasn't one. But it had that same "sports car" general look to it)-- I am not the hip type-- and it felt like we were going VERY FAST even when we weren't. The car belonged to a woman who was in her 60s and looked very traditional and proper. In every experience I'd had with her, she had been very polite and very "well behaved" and very kind of cautious and diplomatic and all the stereotypical things people think about grey haired ladies. She was a little bit spacey, though. Anyway, I was sitting in the passenger seat and feeling like she was a speed demon maniac, and trying to figure out how to say something before we got killed. We had been chatting, and i thought maybe it was distracting her and she didn't realize how fast she was going. So I glanced over at the speedometer and she was driving BELOW the speed limit. I guess being low to the ground like that makes it feel much more edgy than the typical fuel efficient sedan, pick up truck, or monster SUV, which are basically what most people drive around here and what I was used to riding in. Big engine/small vehicle vs small engine/big vehicle.

[smrou]

They accepted our offer! Woo! Hopefully it will be here in about two weeks.

Yay! That's so exciting! I really think you guys are going to have so much fun with it.

 

So happy that Guts got his chick-magnet car! Woo!

I have to say, based on my experience with my Mustang...it's might be more of a dude magnet. Like, I bet Glory could do very well for herself driving that thing around. ;)

 

Is this red coupe the one you have smrou?

Same model but different color. Let me look for a photo and I'll add one.

Here's my car (that's not me in the photo--that's my sister's girlfriend):

Edited May 8, 2015 by smrou

[Too Late Kev]

I love the mid-60s/late-60s Mustangs. We had one. It was in the late 70s and it was what we kids were allowed to use, which probably tells you what kind of condition it was in. Not all shiny, like smrou's, that's for sure. It had "air conditioning"...via the hole in the floor.

[possibilities]

I am so grateful not to have to deal with street harassment here. It's something I never learned how to properly respond to or adequately ignore. If you engage at all, it tends to escalate and get scarier, and likewise if you ignore it, some guys will get more aggressive to get your reaction.

 

A few times, when I lived in Chicago, I dealt with young men who seemed more clueless than threatening. In those cases, I would respond to even the rudest remarks by smiling and waving and acting like I was flattered. It always confused them. I would NOT recommend this if they are acting sexually interested, only if they were being garden-variety rude, or hostile in a blatant way.

 

My ex borrowed an approach she told me she learned from Roseanne, which was to tell men who made kissy noises at her that they could suck her dick. She said it terrified them, and they would always back off, because they'd panic thinking they'd made a gender mis-interpretation (this was the 1980s)-- but I always thought she was playing with fire.

 

I love the tower in the background of smrou's car photo.

[Kalliste]

Yeah this guy wasn't on his phone or anything, I'd feel sorry for the person if he had be. He was just you're standard loopy in the city person. There's a lot of that here, we have a lot of people with mental issues wandering the city and a lot of homelessness caused by it.. a lot of it appears to be related to drug users that have melted their brains.

 

There's one spot near the bus interchange that has a McDonalds (I was going to say 'maccas' but I think that's an Australian thing) and it's just a haven for these people.. they've put up signs saying no loitering and there are now people that sit outside on chairs.. they're older people, I'm not sure if they're trying to make a statement... anyway I walked past there the other day and a guy was yelling how it's bullshit he can't get his fucking drugs anymore and something something and there's a beggar a bit further up who hurls abuse at you if you don't give him anything.

 

My 'favourite' street harrassment was when I was waiting at a set of lights (maybe I should just stop doing that) and  a car pulled up to the red and out the window said "hey there lady in red (I was wearing a red shirt), won't you give me head tonight" and I laughed and told him to go fuck himself.

 

 

On the car topic, I can see how those cars would definitely be dude magnets :D Glory, are you intending on keeping the phoenix? 

[Too Late Kev]

I've heard McDonald's referred to as "Micky D's."

[Kalliste]

Because Australia? it's pronounced macdonalds here so I assume it comes from that.