Small Talk: The Library

[buffyjunkie]

Trudi I am so sorry for your loss.

So I tried to get resevations at The Girl & Her Goat to no avail. Any suggestions for other restaurants near there Chicago-peeps?

[Erratic]

Sorry about your Grandma, Trudi-tru.

Sorry about the kid issues, AnnieF.

My life is kicking along. The court system is slowing up our hopeful adoption process too. The court hearing to go PGO (permanent guardianship order) keeps being adjourned because the dad has been in prison, and, because of that is currently clean and sober and wants to be considered as an option for parenting. He probably won't be, but he'll challenge PGO, and it'll probably go to trial in the Spring, so it is a stressful extension to the fostering process. We could be waiting another year or so to adopt, and of course, if the dad miraculously gets his shit together, we could still end up losing the kid back to him in a year or so too.

Fun times.

[Ace Hansen]

My condolences, trudi-tru.

 

Erratic, that must be so stressful.

 

Did anyone here watch the first season of Jane the Virgin? Is there an episode # I should watch to before I decide it's not for me? It had good critical response, but I'm on episode 4 and so far  I don't really care

which loser guy Jane picks or who killed the one guy, or what she does with the baby or if she meets her father

. I would watch a show about Jane becoming

a writer,

but that's definitely not the main plot.

[Boliver]

I'm sorry about your grandmother, trudi. From the tone of your post, you sound okay, which is a relief. Some people process more ahead of time, and some people put it off until after.

[Harvester]

Love to Trudi.

Hee, Annie, I have been on a jury and the judge could barely stay awake.

The situation yesterday was another delay. This case has been delayed with institutional fuckery for months. We showed up, hoping everything could be settled, but the ADA said she had not reviewed the materials so the hearing is rescheduled again in another month. How is this shit okay?

[KittenPokerCheater]

Oh trudi, I am sorry about your Nona.  It sounds like you loved her very much.

 

Hugs to you Annief and your kid woes.

 

I haven't watched Jane the virgin...is it really as good as they say?

 

Erratic, sorry to hear about the delay. I am outraged on your behalf.

 

Harvester sorry about your delay as well.  Why must the wheels of justice turn so slowly?

 

Extra love and vibes to everyone here.

[trudi-tru]

You guys are the best.

I am okay, she had a great life and she decided she had enough. She's been through two wars! It's sad that soon there won't be anyone left who actually lived that insanity. Hearing her stories about running away from falling bombs was chilling.

Erratic, I admire your strenght and commitment to the little hairy guy. The uncertainty must be emotional torture.

We could be waiting another year or so to adopt, and of course, if the dad miraculously gets his shit together, we could still end up losing the kid back to him in a year or so too.

I feel this is wrong. How is it the best thing for the child to be stripped away from the people whom to him are Mom and Dad and to whom he formed strong bond, to be made to live with someone whom is a complete stranger to him.

[Endeavour]

trudi, I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother.

I hope your friend is doing ok with all the delays, harvester.

That sounds incredibly stressful, Erratic. I'll be sending good thoughts your way.

I'm glad it's Friday. I've been dealing with a work issue that reared its head again yesterday. My boss is being unreasonable. It's something that comes up every now and again, but I'm going to have to find a way to address it once and for all. Probably won't happen today but it's not going to be pleasant and could certainly leave me without a job.

[Ace Hansen]

KPC, Jane the Virgin is very cute, sunny, and has a diverse cast so I can see why people like it. I'm not a soap person and almost never get invested in "which guy will she pick!" plots, so I'm not sure I'll finish the first season.

[AnnieF]

The F-let, who is 12 1/2 now, asked me if we could watch Buffy together. And we've watched through Never Kill A Boy etc. and he is really enjoying it. We had a long conversation about different vampire lore systems, and he was impressed with the "dusting = no bodies lying around" thinking.

Okay now I will stop being calm and will start dancing around joyfully. Heehee. :) I am so happy to be able to share this thing that I love with him, and I'm so glad that he wanted to watch. Wheeeee!!! :-)

Good work vibes to Endeavour, and good adoption-process vibes for Erratic.

[KittenPokerCheater]

I squeed when I read about you and your f-let annief.  What a wonderful think you get to share with him.  Please keep us up to date on how it's going and what he thinks about the characters .

 

i am having family stress but it's the usual;  I wish people could be more understanding.  But perhaps that means that I, myself, need to be more understanding. But I am also tired of feeling like I am the only one who tries.  /vent

 

good work vibes for endeavour, and everyone.  May the weekend be happy and wonderful for all!

[jaytee1812]

Hugs to you Trudi.

Ace Hansen, keep up with Jane the Virgin it is worth it.

Annie F, that is a lovely thing to share with you young 'un.

Thank god it's the weekend!

[Endeavour]

That will be great fun, AnnieF. My nibling who is a little older started watching a couple of years ago and finished up the series now. I didn't get to watch along but we had a bunch of fun conversations along the way. We did watch the finale together and the Angel finale too. We currently watch Doctor Who together. Enjoy every minute.

Anti-stress vibes heading your way, KPC. Families and boundaries are tricky to navigate.

Valny, how are you doing with the insomnia? Any improvement?

Happy weekend to all!

[trudi-tru]

That's great, Annie. Hopefully, he's going to want to see Angel too.

Sorry about the family issues, KPC.

Endeavour, I hope you can a way to speak up and still keep your job. It's brave of you to take the risk.

[Chyna]

What's everyone doing this weekend? I've got a friend's birthday party tonight and then tomorrow I'm meeting up with JHeaton!

[buffyjunkie]

Oh Harvester, that is definitely not OK. Vibes of strength and endurance to you and your family. And vibes of courage and conviction to Endeavor. And vibes of kindness for KPC Family.

AnnieF, I am completely envious of you and the F-let. Right now things are not great between me and the girl. She completely blew off my BD. It really hurt my feelings.

Speaking of vampires, I am going to a rock ballet about Mr. D with a girlfriend tonight. Eating dinner at a trendy burger joint beforehand. Have fun Chyna and JohnH!

[Harvester]

I had a flag football game followed by shopping. Tonight will be lots of drinks with a dear, dear friend. Wackiness shall ensue!

[trudi-tru]

tomorrow I'm meeting up with JHeaton!

Jelous!

I'm sorry, buffyjunkie. I'm sure your daughter is just caught up in the new chapter of her life. Still doesn't excuse her blowing off your birthday. You never blow off your Mama's birthday!

[Boliver]

Uh oh. Can I blow off my mom's if she hasn't remembered my birthday in years because she's scatterbrained? Mine is in June, and sometime in July only after I happen to call, she'll mention it. I DGAF about birthdays, and she knows it's not important to me. I'd love to get a ruling on this.

[AnnieF]

Well, you know what I'm going to say, but maybe some of the, er, nicer people here will say different. Heh. Since I also dgaf about birthdays, I'm all "Blow it off! She's already had scores of birthdays!" But maybe not? I too await commentary from y'all.

[Chyna]

If you DGAF about birthdays and she doesn't do much about it, then there's no harm. But if she does GAF about her own birthday and you don't do much about it, will it hurt her? If so, a HBD call or email is probably wise.

[buffyjunkie]

To put this in perspective, it is the only time in her living memory there has been a party for me and we always taught family first. But bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. So trying to let go.

OMG the rock ballet was so campy I almost laughed aloud. And of course we were sitting in the only aisle where parents had brought their young kids which made me feel uncomfortable when the dancers were having their little bloodfest orgey.

How's everyone else holding up?

[KittenPokerCheater]

It ticks me off that she forgets your birthday buffyjunkie.  Because you are awesome.   If she can't be bothered to acknowledge that you're a pretty awesome addition to the planet at least once a year, then I might not be in such a hurry to pick up the phone on their birthday either.

 

Mostly, you need to do what will make you feel happy.

 

The rock ballet sounds awesome, almost Rocky Horror Campy Brilliance.  I'm sorry you didn't video tape it for us.  It sounds almost green-beans spit up on Daddy kind of funny.

 

My Mom is visiting later this week.  She's not super critical like my Dad, but she is a professional "Woe is Me."  So when my sister and I say, "Whoa Mom," she thinks we're agreeing with her.   Oh, the many reasons my sister and I left home as soon as we could; thank god for boarding schools.  

 

I nearly froze today on set. Which has made me re-think this winter thing.

 

How has everyone else been doing?  

[Endeavour]

Grrrr. My email notifications rarely work here.

Sending more family vibes to KPC and buffyjunkie. I don't know how old your daughter is, but I hope it's just a phase that she will grow out of. I'm glad you're trying to let it go. That's hard to do when it's family.

My work conversation will be delayed for a week or two. Boss is unexpectedly out. I guess that will give me time to carefully choose my words.

Hope everyone has a good week.

[trudi-tru]

I don't think it makes much sense to purposefully blow off someone birthday. Unless you know the person doesn't want it mentioned.

If you forget a birthday, it's a different story. To some people it's no big deal, others might be hurt by it.

When one of my closest friends forgot my birthday last year, I was a little hurt, but it's not like I was offended or made anything of it, except some "you're getting old and your memory is fading" jokes at her expense.

[Earl Is Dead]

I have not been able to catch up as much as I'd like to because work has been kicking my patoot.  In a few more weeks I should be done running training sessions that I should never have had to run in the first place and then maybe life can return to normal.  Work vibes to you Endeavour.  And many vibes to all who need them. 

 

Belated hugs to you and your family trudi.  Glad your grandmother had a long and wonderful life.

 

Ace I really enjoy Jane the Virgin, not for it's soapy-ness but more because of it's playful, sometimes goofy tone.  And because Gina Rodriguez is awesome.  But hey, different strokes - maybe it's just not your thing?

 

I don't care if anyone remembers my birthday, but I do like to take it as a day to be selfish and eat/watch/do whatever I feel like.  And if I live with someone who wants to make it a day about watching football while making a huge mess in my kitchen, that's not cool with me.  Not that this has happened recently or anything.

 

And now I have a question about Star Wars that I don't want to ask in the other place lest my doofus brother pretend he knows things:  Are the Timothy Zahn novels and all that came after them cannon or not? 

Do Han and Leia have twins and is there a Mara Jade

, or is all that out the window?  The new trailer confuzzles me. 

 

Spoilering that just in case.

[Darkpool]

The only time I ever got bothered by someone forgetting my birthday was when they were bothered I forgot theirs. Sauce for the goose ...

 

And now I have a question about Star Wars that I don't want to ask in the other place lest my doofus brother pretend he knows things:  Are the Timothy Zahn novels and all that came after them cannon or not?

 

AFAIK, the novels and such were canon pre-Disney, but were tossed by the wayside when the new Abrams film was greenlit. I remember a lot of SW fans were really annoyed by that. I probably would have been too, if I were a fan who'd spent time and money and energy following this vast shared universe for decades, only to have the new management throw it all out the window so a hack director can have the sandbox all to himself. (But I'm much more of a Trek guy, and haven't cared about what happens to Star Wars for a long time now.)

[Hostile16]

Quick question: How much, if anything, do you tip people who just bring stuff to your car, such as the person who brings your curbside-pickup food at a restaurant or your express order at a grocery store?

Edited October 24, 2015 by Hostile16

[AnnieF]

Ten percent. They had to pack up and bring your order, and while they were doing that they were not waiting on tables that will (or at least should) tip 15-20%. Of course I'm looking at it from a restaurant perspective -- other scenarios might work somewhat differently. But I always tip something. Years of waiting tables has made me a very good tipper. :)

[Boliver]

I agree. I consider that the same as me walking into the restaurant for pickup, where I tip 10%. For a sit down, I tip a 20% minimum. I can't wait for the no-tipping restaurants to be the norm; I'll happily pay more for a meal if it allows the staff to be paid more, with benefits.

[romantic idiot]

A bunch of restaurants here have started including 10% service charges in the bill. And at the high end one we went to recently, they actually handed me back the extra I paid above the service charges. As did the valet. That is such a relief. 

[Earl Is Dead]

Waitressing is hard and a lot of people are jerks and/or don't tip well, but a lot of people do.  I made way more waitressing in college then I would have at a retail job working the same hours.  So I don't know how I'd feel about a no tip norm. 

[Darkpool]

I don't get adding 10% to the bill. Doesn't that mean you just increased the price of everything on the menu, and then lied about the price to your customers?

[Boliver]

Earl, do you feel that way even if everyone is paid more hourly? I think going to a no-tip way, like they do in France, would make everything fairer, and there would be no eye-of-the-super-cheap-ass-beholder problem. But the last time I waitressed, I was paid a regular minimum wage hourly, and it was in the dining hall of a retirement home, so tipping wasn't a thing there, and it was the summer after graduating from high school, so I didn't have a more grown up perspective.

[Erratic]

England has tip included on the menus, and they have terrible service staff. Coincidence?

[trudi-tru]

Maybe not. I noticed that the waiting staff in the US tends to be overtly attentive and considerate.

[Earl Is Dead]

Boliver - I think a lot probably depends on the type of establishment - diner, fine dining, bar, chain restaurant - I doubt there's one perfect way to go.  In my college years I worked at a 24/7 diner in a great location (close to movie theaters, bars, shopping) so between the dinner crowd and the late night crowd what I brought home working 2 doubles in one weekend was much more than I would have made at 10 or even 15 dollars an hour.  The minimum wage for waitress in PA then was $2 something an hour, which would usually pay the tax so the cash was all mine.  Obviously that is not the case in every situation, but I guess I like thinking that those opportunities would still exist for someone willing to hussle for them.

[romantic idiot]

The benefit of service charges, for me as a customer is that they save me from having to decide about the service and to do the calculations (though 10% isn't difficult to do). And since I dine out with friends mostly and we go dutch, we don't have to compromise among those who want to tip generously and those who don't. I also find it irritating to have to differentiate - was the waiter good / bad / mediocre. Then a lot of waiters, because they want to be well tipped, and therefore solicitous, end up being intrusive. And I feel bad sometimes because I do feel obligated to tip for bad service. (On the other hand, I also feel i haven't tipped enough when my dad takes it upon himself to chat with the waiter about his (the waiter's) hometown).

 

With 10% I don't have to think and the money goes directly to the service staff. And it would presumably, entail uniformity of service. It also takes away the luck factor in being well tipped, and getting a better / worse waiter. I also understand that one tips waiters / waitresses because they don't get paid enough (otherwise, why are you giving extra for performing one's job well) so it's better to pay well (which jacks up restaurant prices anyway) or get a percentage towards service only, which becomes something reliable. It also has a performance and participation bonus aspect there also, right because the better a restaurant does, the more the reward for the waitstaff, who are a direct contributor to why the restaurant is doing well. 

 

All this off the top of my head. I really would prefer a no-tip restaurant, even if I have to pay more for the meal because it is more convenient for me. As long as I don't have to live with the guilt of being looked after by underpaid staff. 

[trudi-tru]

I bought over 20€ worth of candy and no one came. I'm in serious trouble.

[Chyna]

The weather here was really crappy yesterday--rainy and cold. A lot of families had already been out in it earlier in the day, since the HUGE local soccer league's playoffs were happening, so I think that by the time the rain stopped in the evening, a lot of people had already thrown in the towel. We don't get a lot of trick-or-treaters on our block anyway (busy street) so I took our bucket with me when I took Tiny C and her friends out and distributed it that way. 

[Hostile16]

I had about 125 trick-or-treaters. I give out glowy-flashy things so our neighborhood was very pretty.

And now it's November! And you know what that means: Secret Santa signup!! Who's in?

[Chyna]

Me!

[Darkpool]

I'm in.

[AnnieF]

And me.

[KittenPokerCheater]

Secret Santa?  

 

I'm in!

 

Vibes to any and all of you.

[Harvester]

I am in!

[trudi-tru]

I'm in! Duh!

[Barphe]

I'm in.

[Erratic]

In :)

[buffyjunkie]

Definitely in.