Small Talk: The Library

[Erratic]

Thanks for the work vibes, endeavour, and yes, we do all the work ourselves. And by 'ourselves', mostly my husband.

[Darkpool]

Relatives - I bet we all have a few that are exhausting to deal with.

 

Not me. But then I have only three, so that really improves the odds.

 

What fun things are people up to right now?

 

Reaquainting myself with classic Trek via "Mark Watches." I haven't seen most of the ST:TOS episodes since high school. Watching them now with a lot of first-timers and commentary, I'm seeing stuff I either forgot about or never noticed before.

 

I'm a big fan of LED bulbs. I've been gradually replacing the old bulbs as they wear out.

[Earl Is Dead]

@@Endeavour Yeah that was me. If you're talking about today's quiz I was only fast because I never watched Gilmore Girls and therefore figured guessing quickly would be the best strategy. :)

[LittleVoice]

Like KPC, I kind of like unpacking in a new house. Finding new spots for everything is kind of satisfying. The prospect of going through and packing all my crap, though? That's what will keep me in this house forever. Well, that and the fact that I love my neighborhood.

Mr. Voice and I are making a last minute trip to Arizona tomorrow. His father's been battling lung cancer for a few months and it's not going well. He's decided that he doesn't want to do chemo anymore, and he has pneumonia now so . . . well, we just don't know how long he will have.

And of course being with family right now is the important thing and I'm glad we're able to do that, but why do sick parents have to be in northern Michigan in January (mine) or Arizona in June (his). It's just getting nice here in Minnesota and off we go to the desert. [/selfish whining]

[Harvester]

I am so sorry LittleVoice. Love and comforting vibes to you and yours.

[trudi-tru]

My is here.

I think a believer in freudian lapsuses might interpret the above as you subconsciously wishing blank weren't there :-)

 

Best of luck on the job, Erratic.

 

Congratulations on your now official new house, Annie. Can't you sell the old one at a lower price and let the new owners deal with the renovations?

 

I'm sorry LittleVoice.

[Endeavour]

we do all the work ourselves. And by 'ourselves', mostly my husband.

That's great you're able to that. It must save a lot of money and, while it's a lot of work, you probably have more control if you want to change things as you go along. Plus, it sounds like it's something you enjoy.

 

If you're talking about today's quiz I was only fast because I never watched Gilmore Girls and therefore figured guessing quickly would be the best strategy. :)

I even manage to guess slowly.

I'm sorry to hear about your father-in-law @LittleVoice - you and your family will be in my thoughts.

Edited June 26, 2014 by Endeavour

[AnnieF]

Congratulations on your now official new house, Annie. Can't you sell the old one at a lower price and let the new owners deal with the renovations?

We could, but usually you don't make as much money that way -- people tend to expect a really steep discount if you're selling the house as-is. Whereas if you do some mostly cosmetic stuff like carpet and paint, you can ask for full market price.

We did the final walk-through, and we should close today and get keys. Now I really have to book a moving company, heh.

My sympathies to you and your family, LittleVoice.

[Loandbehold]

Just wanted to add my sympathies as well, LittleVoice.

 

Good luck with the move, moving company, and old house repairs, AnnieF.

 

I am debating whether to go to a bar to watch the first half of US-Germany. If I'm going to do so, I need to leave, like now, and even then, there might not be seats anywhere near a tv (we don't have any sports bars near my office). As for the rest of the weekend, I'm off tomorrow, and on Saturday, my brother and I are taking my mother to tour an assisted living place and have her evaluated. We're not talking about an imminent move, just windown shopping and possibly putting her name on a waiting list. We're also scheduled to visit another one next month. Sunday looks like a day to collapse.

[romantic idiot]

@KPC I had to "train" my parents not to think they could take charge of my space as an adult. They refused to understand that as a 30something woman living on my own, all decisions were mine. So for me it would be less about the bulbs and more about the boundaries. Sorry your dad's visit started out on that dynamic. I hope it goes smoothly from here on out.

Heh, and see, I usually have a list of chores ready for my parents when they visit. Serves them right for being handy and effective. 

 

My sympathies to @LittleVoice and to @AnnieF because I abhor moving. And to @KittenPokerCheater.

[Boliver]

 

@KPC I had to "train" my parents not to think they could take charge of my space as an adult.

Oh, KPC's dad's shitty boundaries and super-judgy nature were well documented in the now locked TWoP archives, which is why I'm loathe to defend him; I just love LED bulbs. He could have easily just bought her the bulbs and given them as a gift, but control freaks aren't that considerate.

Edited June 26, 2014 by Boliver

[Endeavour]

Everyone that loves their LED bulbs - please share your brand/type with me. The ones I tried were Cree daylight.  I'm going to put them back and give it another go to see if I can adjust. If I still don't like them, I'll see if I can get soft white, but I'm up for recommendations because I don't really want to buy another bunch that I may not like because of the price.

[KittenPokerCheater]

So for me it would be less about the bulbs and more about the boundaries.

 

Exactly.  And most of my lights were the crazy energy efficient ones anyway.  But now I have (let me go check) is Cree.  http://www.cree.com  He loves them.  They seem great to me too.  It's the boundary thing that's stressful.

 

For example:  I got us super expensive, amazing seats (prime parterre seats) for ABT's Swan Lake.  He liked it, but he all through the intermission he kept saying, "I'm not complaining but I wish I was in tenth row center in the orchestra."  (I counted, he said if 5 times).  And when he ketches about wanting to see a movie he couldn't find, I found it on amazon and  ordered a movie via Amazon Video/TV for him to watch, he didn't like that it was taking time to buffer, and then wouldn't let me re-set the amazon program.  We went to the museum, we walked around- he told me how poor he was, and then bought my stepmother (who I LOVE) a $2700 dollar dress at Carolina Herrera.

 

He hates how I dress, but when I pointed out that food is more important than clothes (and anyway, he wouldn't want to pay for one for me) he got grouchy 

 

I'm not exactly sure how my stepmother puts up with him, but she really loves him.  He's like a petulant little child at times.  Don't get me wrong, I desperately love him and would love to somehow meet his approval, but I'm not sure I can (doesn't mean I don't try).

 

So he's gone, I'm exhausted, and then I realize I have a "lady doctor" appointment next week, to investigate why I've moved up more than cup in a year, and why one is so much bigger than the other.  I foresee one of those uncomfortable mammograms in my future.

Edited June 26, 2014 by KittenPokerCheater

[Earl Is Dead]

[Q] Oh, KPC's dad's shitty boundaries and super-judgy nature were well documented in the now locked TWoP archives, which is why I'm loathe to defend him; I just love LED bulbs. He could have easily just bought her the bulbs and given them as a gift, but control freaks aren't that considerate.[\q]

I totally understand. I wasn't trying to imply anything about your post or LED bulbs. Dad coming in and making unrequested changes just pushed my grrrrr button because it hits close to home. I have disrespecting-boundry issues. My sympathies to @KPC and anyone else who has to deal with that.

@LittleVoice and @Loandbehold much sympathy to you both for parent and in-law struggles.

Edited June 26, 2014 by Earl Is Dead

[Harvester]

KPC, good health vibes to you! and congratulations on making it through a really trying week.

I am dealing with a troubling situation. I will post more tomorrow night, but if anyone has spare positive vibes, please send them my way.

[Darkpool]

He's like a petulant little child at times.  Don't get me wrong, I desperately love him and would love to somehow meet his approval, but I'm not sure I can (doesn't mean I don't try).

 

I know this is incredibly easy for me to say from way over here on the sidelines, but: stop trying. As you said, petulant little child. Also, jerk. Also a lot of other uncomplimentary words that I won't use only because he's still your dad and you love him.

 

You, on the other hand, are awesome. Many people here have met you and can attest to that. If he's so wrapped up in whatever is wrong with his head that he can't recognize what a bright, amazing, thoughtful, talented, generous daughter he's got, then the hell with him.

 

Sending vibes to Harvester for smooth sailing through the situation. Also adding to the vibes for LittleVoice and family.

Edited June 27, 2014 by Darkpool

[KittenPokerCheater]

Yes, love vibes to harvester on whatever is going on with you, love and vibes to Littlevoice, lnb, and happy walkthrough-with-a-tribe-full-of-people AnnieF.

 

I can attest that every one here has your back (and possibly a kidney).

[Loandbehold]

Nebulous vibes for Harvester. Specificity to follow.

[Endeavour]

@KittenPokerCheater - I'm glad you hung in there this week, but I'm sorry it was exhausting. I kind of agree with Darkpook that it may be time to stop trying. If you don't mind my asking, how do you respond when he is being disrespectful or dismissive?

 

I tell myself that if I don't respect someone, I don't care what they think about me. I also had to learn that certain people don't automatically deserve respect, they need to earn it. That doesn't mean the offending person's behavior doesn't upset me at times, and I realize this is much more difficult with relatives. I had some very trying times with a family member. The disrespect shown towards me was absolutely astounding. There was no reasoning with this person, but I kept trying. I did everything possible to appease this person and, after a time, I realized no matter what I said or did, it would be wrong. I kept trying for some time after that and it was exhausting. One day though, it became absolutely clear nothing would matter, so I stopped trying. Right now we are on speaking terms and things are ok, but I know that will only be until they aren't again.

 

Try not to let things get to you, KPC. I don't know you as well as others here, but from what I've seen and what they say, you seem like a great person. So don't ever let anyone make you doubt that. You can't change anyone's behavior but your own, so try your best to not let it negatively affect you.

 

Vibes to @Harvester

Edited June 27, 2014 by Endeavour

[Erratic]

We love you, KPC. So does your dad. We are just way better at showing you that we love you for who you are.

[cko]

Major vibes to harvester. Let us know if more specific types are needed.

 

KPC you are awesome and yes we love you as you are, have been, and will be.

 

OMG val that photo of us *cough notstealingyourkidney cough* is so fantastic. I loved that apartment, I think longingly of it from time to time. Plus the Crumbs cupcakes. And the fabulous company.

 

Vibes on all other illness/wellness/family struggles.

 

Oh, and thanks for the good time-off wishes. Road trip to SoCal is the only thing specific. Anyone have other ideas, such as you plan to visit the Bay Area?

Edited June 27, 2014 by cko

[trudi-tru]

he told me how poor he was, and then bought my stepmother (who I LOVE) a $2700 dollar dress at Carolina Herrera.

I wish I were that poor.

 

KPC, I'll echo Darkpool's suggestion: stop trying. I know this is hard to hear, but you'll never get your Dad's approval. Not because you're unworthy or doing something wrong, but because he's incapable of giving it to you. It's not about you, it's him.

 

Sunday looks like a day to collapse

Isn't that what all Sundays are for? I hope you find a good solution for you Mom, Lo.

 

I tell myself that if I don't respect someone, I don't care what they think about me.

This is my philosophy as well. It takes time, but once you get to the point of not caring what others think of you, you are so much better off.

 

Vague but strong vibes for Harvester.

[dusky]

Still keyboardless but I am on vacation next week so that may get fixed. Really need this one. I hope to get away with the kid for a couple of days but she is working for my brother this summer and doesn't have her schedule yet.

 

I won a couple of gift cards at work (sales incentives) one is fifty dollars at Amazon and the other is 25at Wal-Mart. I have been avoiding Wal-Mart for well you know, reasons. But free gift card!

 

KPC you got through it, sometimes that is all that counts. Vibes to Little Voice and Harvester and everyone else. 

[Endeavour]

Enjoy your week off @dusky

 

@Loandbehold - I hope all goes well with the tours and your mom and that you're able to find somewhere you're all happy with.

Edited June 27, 2014 by Endeavour

[Boliver]

 

One day though, it became absolutely clear nothing would matter, so I stopped trying. Right now we are on speaking terms and things are ok, but I know that will only be until they aren't again.

THIS.

 

You got it, Harvester. Vibes, sunny side up with extra crispy cheese. And, a round of excellent healthy boundaries for everyone! That would be cool, to just go to Boundary Barn and pick up a couple of extras at bargain basement prices.

[Erratic]

Vibes, Harvester

[Earl Is Dead]

Vibes to you @Harvester . Whatever it is, you are strong enough.

[Harvester]

Thank you all for the vibes. The issue is a bitter person is screwing with my new job. I have quit the previous job, and now I am worried about the new job disappearing. I am really scared, but I haven't heard anything yet.

[LittleVoice]

Hope all goes well for you, harvester. That sounds incredibly stressful.

[Endeavour]

Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that @Harvester - I hope it all works out.

[Loandbehold]

Specific job vibes to Harvester. If you don't mind my prying, is the bitter person at your old job or the new one? And, have you yet started at the new job? How did you hear about this? 

[KittenPokerCheater]

Super specific job stress resolutions in your favor to you harvester.  I hate that you have this kind of ickiness to deal with.

[Harvester]

My potential new boss called me in to talk about it. She was very direct but kind, so I like her even more. Another director came to her to let her know I was burning my bridges and bragging about how happy I am. The thing is, I have been really trying not to burn bridges in case they want to pay me to work on projects later. I have not even had a conversation with this woman in three weeks. One of this lady's underlings is a problem. She is a grandmotherly type who cannot shut up. Every time I see her, she tells me how happy I am now. Yesterday when I was sick with nervousness, she came up to me to tell me how relaxed and happy I seem.

I guess if I lose a job for being happy, it is not a job for me. I am not sure what to do. It is just an asinine political situation.

[Erratic]

That is ridiculous and crappy!

Extra vibes!

[Loandbehold]

That really sucks, Harvester. When is the new job supposed to start? Would the potential new boss be willing to move up the day you begin? I mean, you're happy b/c you're about to start a new job that is an exciting and new opportunity. 

 

Did your old job hire a replacement? If so, did you stay and help train that person (for any length of time)? Have you offered to come in for a day if they do hire someone before your new job starts? You can make that offer and let potential boss know, which would demonstrate that you're not burning bridges. I'm sorry you're going through this. 

[Harvester]

I don't know what is possible. I hope to know something Monday.

I did offer to train my replacements. We have not interviewed anyone yet though. I offered to finish current projects even if I am in another role--meaning doing these on my own at night--because I didn't want to let anyone down.

It's a clusterfuck.

*why does autocorrect like the term clysterfuck?

[Loandbehold]

I would let your potential new boss know about your offer to train your replacement since that is not what someone looking to burn their bridges would do.

[Chyna]

Ugh, harvester, that sucks. It will probably all work out fine, but I'm sorry you have to deal with that BS.

 

We just got back from a week in Wisconsin. The weather was lovely--unseasonably cool for June because the lake took so long to defrost and is still quite cold--and the mosquitoes were the size of small birds. We stocked up on Wisconsin's three main exports: cheese, chocolate, and fireworks.

[AnnieF]

Cheese and fireworks, sure, but chocolate is a new one on me. When I think of noted chocolate-producing regions, I have never included Wisconsin. ;)

We have started schlepping stuff over to the new house. Between here and there is a six-minute drive that I already feel waaaaaaay too familiar with, heh. In the intervening decades since I used to drive through my new neighborhood (when I had high-school friends who lived in that neighborhood), the city has installed a whole bunch of traffic calming, hallelujah. Did we used to speed recklessly along those winding streets? Yeppers. Adolescent brains do stupid shit, man.

Thinking super-strong vibes for you, Harvester. That does not sound fun.

[Chyna]

Cheese and fireworks, sure, but chocolate is a new one on me. When I think of noted chocolate-producing regions, I have never included Wisconsin. ;)

 

 

Well, it's fudge mostly. The whole dairy thing, you know.

 

We saw a sign for an ice cream shop there touting that the dairy they use comes directly from an organic farm, etc. that said, "It's not low-cal, low-fat, or low anything. That's why everyone loves it. If you want nutrition, eat carrots." Gotta love Wisconsin. :)

[Endeavour]

I would let your potential new boss know about your offer to train your replacement since that is not what someone looking to burn their bridges would do.

 

I agree if you haven't done so already. Sounds like you've done all the right things, Harvester. Let the new boss know. Of course you're happy about the new opportunity, but you certainly haven't burned any bridges. I hope it all works out.

 

We saw a sign for an ice cream shop there touting that the dairy they use comes directly from an organic farm, etc. that said, "It's not low-cal, low-fat, or low anything. That's why everyone loves it. If you want nutrition, eat carrots." Gotta love Wisconsin. :)

 

That's perfect. When I want ice cream, I want the real thing.

Edited June 29, 2014 by Endeavour

[Valny]

OMG val that photo of us *cough notstealingyourkidney cough* is so fantastic. I loved that apartment, I think longingly of it from time to time. Plus the Crumbs cupcakes. And the fabulous company.

 

 Yes, that was a very cool apartment you had there cko....and it was a fun day meeting everyone for the first time. Wouldn't you just love to get another place like that for a few weeks again? Huh,huh? *lessthansubtlenudging*

 

Vibes to you harvester! I hope the job sitch all works out.

 

AnnieF-Glad that you're so close to your new place,at least that makes going back and forth not too bad. Do you know if the new place is a squirrel heavy zone? ;)

Anyone going to check out the new HBO series premiering tonight called The Leftovers? Looks weird enough for my tastes.   I haven't even watched the first ep of S7's True Blood. I was spoiled on some things(not that I care) and haven't heard great things so far, so I'm not really feeling the motivation to watch.   I'd rather try to get up to date on other stuff first. I'm two eps behind on Penny Dreadful but now I'm at least caught up with 24.

 

When I want ice cream, I want the real thing.

 

  Hell yeah! With all the creamy goodness it has to offer!

 

Edited June 30, 2014 by Valny

[KittenPokerCheater]

Annief, do your old neighborhood squirrels know you're leaving?  And do the new ones know you're moving in?  

 

Today I stepped in to cover for someone to play Margaret in Much Ado About Nothing for Spontaneous Shakespeare.  It was fun, but MAN it was hot and I'm happily tired.  Between that and the family visit, I'm still not off book for my second (and last) scene for Errors, but I'll double down tomorrow.

 

I remember that apartment too cko- with much fondness.  It was a very very cool summer when you came east for an extended holiday.

 

 

Hey barphe, you still with us?

[Erratic]

Woooo! Not only Shakespeare, but 'Much Ado'? And was a naughty man brought face to face with you?

[cko]

*why does autocorrect like the term clysterfuck?

 

This is the best thing I've read in ages, oh man.

 

I'm  hoping to come back to NYC next summer. That and about a gazillion other things I'd like to do but keep forgetting to plan.

[Earl Is Dead]

Continued vibes to you @Harvester.  I hope today isn't too stressful.

 

@Valny I've remained loyal to True Blood despite its wavering quality over the last few seasons.  So far I'm finding S7 par for the course and since it's the final season I plan to stick it out to the bitter end. 

 

We had our yard sale on Saturday - man am I glad that's over with.  It was exhausting.  My mother and aunts used to have one every year while I was growing up, so I'm familiar with the process but it still never ceases to amaze me how people will haggle over a quarter.  On the flip side though, it's always nice to see someone view your piece of unwanted crap as a yard sale treasure they're thrilled to have found. 

[AnnieF]

Do you know if the new place is a squirrel heavy zone?

I'm gonna say yes...when we were there day before yesterday, I was in the driveway and I saw a woman taking pictures of something in the neighbor-across-the-street's backyard. "There are two 4-point bucks right there," she said. And holy shit, yes indeed, there were two bucks, their antlers all in velvet, eating crabapples off the neighbor's tree. They just stared at us (obvs they're used to people) but when the automatic sprinklers came on, they took off. That woman also said that she saw a black bear cross the road in front of her the other morning, so there's defs some wildlife action going on. It makes sense; the house backs onto a protected ditch trail system. Lots of safe room for critters.

We had our yard sale on Saturday - man am I glad that's over with. It was exhausting

I'm glad it went well, Earl. I'm not looking forward to that, knowing that i've got that in my future. Although I am certainly collecting enough crap to sell. :)

We visited with Mr F's 97-year-old grandma yesterday. She told us the same story about 15 times. She gets moved into assisted living this weekend. It sucks.

Edited June 30, 2014 by AnnieF

[buffyjunkie]

 

She gets moved into assisted living this weekend. It sucks.

 

Oh man, my sympathy AnnieF.

 

 

Cheese and fireworks, sure, but chocolate is a new one on me. When I think of noted chocolate-producing regions, I have never included Wisconsin. ;)

I suggest trying this: https://gailambrosius.com/  or this: https://www.infusionchocolates.com/ or here: http://rootschocolates.com/

 

Today I beat the tornado/bad storm home by five minutes, for which I am very grateful. 

[KittenPokerCheater]

Today I beat the tornado/bad storm home by five minutes, for which I am very grateful.

 

Yikes!  Tornados scare the carp out of me.  I am glad you are okay.

 

I played Margaret in Much Ado Erratic, but oh, I live to play Beatrice.

 

Hugs Annief on the grandmother moving into a new place.  It sounds like it's not safe for her to live alone anymore, but I am sure it's stressful, but hopefully your new squirrel and deer neighbors will provide you will some happy distraction.

 

harvester, I hope everything went okay today.  If you feel you can share, we're here for you.*

 

 

*I've also put a vengeance techno-pagon demon on retainer.  Say the world and someone will hack havoc on her!**

 

 

**Oh I wish I actually had a vengeance demon. 

[Harvester]

There was no news today. There needs to be a connection made with my current boss before anything goes further. Communication is not really her thing, so I might be in a holding pattern for a bit.

Edited July 1, 2014 by Harvester