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After a visit to the OBGYN, Chara has some big news for her husbands. Mike questions the polyandrous lifestyle and presses Elisa on returning to monogamy. Kenya and Tiger tie the knot. Kim and Vinson make things official.

Original air date 2023.04.30

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Mike said “if we change our minds about having mutual partners…”

He is still a cuck, but I think they’re both screwing around as Kenya and her husbands are. 

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Is that the last episode? There was a recap at the end. These people are just not interesting.

Kim cracks me up. She gives up handsome Vinson to go on a boring roller skate date with an ugly guy to eat M&Ms off a filthy table and never see again. I wouldn't be surprised if Vinson was an actor; they have zero chemistry, he seems like he doesn't give a hoot about her, and his friendship with Dustin is more sincere than any sort of interaction he has with Kim. She's like sentient mayonnaise. 

Speaking of sentient mayonnaise, the small-faced guy with the cheater wife (forget their names) are so terrible together. They're arguing while half-heartedly kicking a soccer ball around the beach. And his milquetoast "I'd rather you didn't" when she asked if she could bring guys home? Come on man, grow a spine! Though it's pretty clear she thinks she's hot shit and wants to fuck around, while he wants her to be as mayonnaise as he is and make a bunch of babies.

At least Kenya's commitment ceremony was genuine and sincere. They seem to actually care about each other. Good for them. And their guests all looked so beautiful in their bright white clothes.

I think the reason this show doesn't work (as well as the Seeking Sister Wives show) is that none of these people have any sort of personality. Their whole beings are wrapped up in being poly (and let's be honest, they're polyamorous, not polyandrous), and if you've ever met a poly person, trust me, you'll know it. It's like meeting a Burner. They won't shut up about it. It's all they can talk about. They have nothing else to them. They drag you into conversations about their polycule when you ask about the weather. The Sister Wives show only worked because it was steeped in religious cultism, so they really had to work to get out of it. And even that is boring, and has elements of the same--shoehorning their poly relationships into conversations with salespeople and vendors who are glancing off to the side for an escape hatch. I know a lot of what we saw was TLC-driven, because it's the point of the show, but trust me, being in a conversation with a poly person, you can feel the moment they bring up their other partners and out themselves. There's a big dramatic pause while they wait for you to react in shock, and disappointment when you don't react because let's face it, poly stuff is nothing new, no matter what kind of shock value TLC tries to add to it.

I know someone who "came out" as poly on National Coming Out Day. For three years in a row. My guy, you were out after the first time. I don't really want to debate whether polyamory is a sexual orientation, but as a queer person, I have thoughts about this.

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I have a poly relative. Always bla bla bla.

There was a poly show on Showtime years ago, same thing.  They have to talk about everything amongst themselves and then they want to talk to everyone else about it. 

I don't think they can bring this show back.  We need more "I Love a Mama's Boy."  That's never boring. 

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