S11.E04: Picture Perfect

[druzy]

 

Ashley hits her boiling point. Jade kicks Christy out before she goes to jail. Bri questions if both dads will be present for the first day of school. Leah gets an exciting invitation that could be a big step for her new relationship.

Airs March 29, 2022

[TooMuchRealityTV]

I did feel bad for Ashley. I don't think Bar is a good fit for her. He's got zero ambition and it's unclear if his legal woes are over. It's a bad match for someone who is clearly trying to do something with her life. But continually asking someone what they are going to do and bringing up your thoughts about their relationship can get annoying. I actually think Ashley is smart, at least compared to some of the others in this franchise. She may not leave Bar now but she will eventually because he isn't growing with her.

I'm going to have to stop watching Leah's segments. She's just so damn boring. I don't care if she brings her new boyfriend with her on vacation. She's 30, not 17, it's really not as big a deal as she is making it.

[StatisticalOutlier]

Briana gets on my last nerve.  Poor Stella.  Of all days to force the rarely present Loo-is on her--Stella's first day of VPK (very pre-kindergarten?).  And you KNOW the coven made a super big deal about it, so Stella was probably nervous, and no doubt she was kept up late as part of them discussing whether Loo-is would show up, or whether Devoin would, or any other number of adult matters they like to involve the kids in.  Actually, I kid about that--she was probably just tired.  But getting kids up for the first day of school, if they've been sleeping in for the summer, could likely be a problem.  Why compound it by having strangers showing up?

It's like when she had Stella stay over at Loo-is's house.  She barely knows the man!  Stop it!

And Roxanne with her texting Loo-is even though Briana said not to.  Fuck you, Roxanne.  Yeah, you're so important that you were able to impose your will--he showed up.  And everybody was miserable.  Good work.  And, really--good work.  Y'all seem to thrive on being miserable.  Mission accomplished.

And complaining about Devoin waiting until that morning to say he wanted to take Nova to school.  Does anybody think Briana answered, "That's a great offer, but Nova has her big-sister heart set on taking Stella to VPK, to show her the ropes.  But she's excited about you seeing her off on her big day."  Without adding, of course, that there's exactly zero chance in hell that she'll EVER let any of these kids' first day of the school year be anything but a coven activity.  I'd like to hear Devoin's side of the morning texting.  And I know everybody texts, but I can't help but think an actual conversation would have been a lot better.

Plus, it was the night before that they were asking Loo-is to show up.  That's not a whole hell of a lot better than the morning of. 

That said, I love me a school uniform and thought the girls looked adorable.  I spent grades 1-3 in Catholic school in the 1960s and still unconsciously gravitate to a navy blue skirt and white shirt whenever the opportunity arises. 

And...why was the giant clock on the kitchen wall saying 9:45?  Re-enactment of the inside drama?  It did look like the sun was just coming up when they left the house, so maybe that's real.  Or, it's probably real.  I'm learning not to trust anything on this show except maybe Briana's cluelessness.

Although she's not even remotely clueless in her podcasting adventure.  Tell me again why they couldn't do that remotely?  Or, don't.  We all know why, but Briana will deny it until her dying breath, all the while tugging on her lower lip with her fingertip.  I can't help but wish her all the worst.  Instead of sending Kail a treadmill, she should send every viewer a session in a rage room, to get out our frustration at watching her.

Jade, first of all, please push your glasses up your nose.  Second,, she's all about how Christy imposes on her, but Christy has a point(!)--she's providing free babysitting.  Although according to Jade, she was just sleeping.  But I'm not sure that's much worse than Sean, because at least Christy could put the sticky candy up out of Kloie's reach while she and Jack Sprat were napping.  Jade refuses to see reality, and it's maddening for this viewer.  Even with Sean--HE was the one who left, when Jade should never have been letting him stay there at all.  When Sean is showing better judgment than you are, you need to reevaluate everything. 

But damn, that Christy.  "I didn't have to go to jail after all.  Can I come see Kloie?"  At least Jade said no, but how many times has she said no and then relented? 

Leah?  Don't care.

Ashley?  Don't care, but I was looking at Shen's neck tattoo and thinking, "I can see how this woman's son would think forehead tattoos would be a good idea."

[Hedgehog2022]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Briana gets on my last nerve.  Poor Stella.  Of all days to force the rarely present Loo-is on her--Stella's first day of VPK (very pre-kindergarten?).  And you KNOW the coven made a super big deal about it, so Stella was probably nervous, and no doubt she was kept up late as part of them discussing whether Loo-is would show up, or whether Devoin would, or any other number of adult matters they like to involve the kids in.  Actually, I kid about that--she was probably just tired.  But getting kids up for the first day of school, if they've been sleeping in for the summer, could likely be a problem.  Why compound it by having strangers showing up?

It's like when she had Stella stay over at Loo-is's house.  She barely knows the man!  Stop it!

And Roxanne with her texting Loo-is even though Briana said not to.  Fuck you, Roxanne.  Yeah, you're so important that you were able to impose your will--he showed up.  And everybody was miserable.  Good work.  And, really--good work.  Y'all seem to thrive on being miserable.  Mission accomplished.

And complaining about Devoin waiting until that morning to say he wanted to take Nova to school.  Does anybody think Briana answered, "That's a great offer, but Nova has her big-sister heart set on taking Stella to VPK, to show her the ropes.  But she's excited about you seeing her off on her big day."  Without adding, of course, that there's exactly zero chance in hell that she'll EVER let any of these kids' first day of the school year be anything but a coven activity.  I'd like to hear Devoin's side of the morning texting.  And I know everybody texts, but I can't help but think an actual conversation would have been a lot better.

Plus, it was the night before that they were asking Loo-is to show up.  That's not a whole hell of a lot better than the morning of. 

That said, I love me a school uniform and thought the girls looked adorable.  I spent grades 1-3 in Catholic school in the 1960s and still unconsciously gravitate to a navy blue skirt and white shirt whenever the opportunity arises. 

And...why was the giant clock on the kitchen wall saying 9:45?  Re-enactment of the inside drama?  It did look like the sun was just coming up when they left the house, so maybe that's real.  Or, it's probably real.  I'm learning not to trust anything on this show except maybe Briana's cluelessness.

Although she's not even remotely clueless in her podcasting adventure.  Tell me again why they couldn't do that remotely?  Or, don't.  We all know why, but Briana will deny it until her dying breath, all the while tugging on her lower lip with her fingertip.  I can't help but wish her all the worst.  Instead of sending Kail a treadmill, she should send every viewer a session in a rage room, to get out our frustration at watching her.

Jade, first of all, please push your glasses up your nose.  Second,, she's all about how Christy imposes on her, but Christy has a point(!)--she's providing free babysitting.  Although according to Jade, she was just sleeping.  But I'm not sure that's much worse than Sean, because at least Christy could put the sticky candy up out of Kloie's reach while she and Jack Sprat were napping.  Jade refuses to see reality, and it's maddening for this viewer.  Even with Sean--HE was the one who left, when Jade should never have been letting him stay there at all.  When Sean is showing better judgment than you are, you need to reevaluate everything. 

But damn, that Christy.  "I didn't have to go to jail after all.  Can I come see Kloie?"  At least Jade said no, but how many times has she said no and then relented? 

Leah?  Don't care.

Ashley?  Don't care, but I was looking at Shen's neck tattoo and thinking, "I can see how this woman's son would think forehead tattoos would be a good idea."

Jack Sprat 😂

[Hedgehog2022]

Please tell me why Ashley and Bar got married in the first place? Especially after the party incident with a gun? What would make her jump into a quickie marriage with a guy who has an alcohol problem and brings a gun and shoots it at a family get together? I know that compared to some of these other girls she seems to have motivation and a career/life plan but this guy is just sad. She will always be acting like a mother in this relationship instead of a wife. 

Edited March 30, 2022 by Hedgehog2022

[snarts]

Do Briana's mother & sister have anything going on in their own lives or do they just live vicariously through her? 

[Soobs]

7 hours ago, Hedgehog2022 said:

Please tell me why Ashley and Bar got married in the first place? Especially after the party incident with a gun? What would make her jump into a quickie marriage with a guy who has an alcohol problem and brings a gun and shoots it at a family get together? I know that compared to some of these other girls she seems to have motivation and a career/life plan but this guy is just sad. She will always be acting like a mother in this relationship instead of a wife. 

Right?? Did she lose a bet or something? Also, I know the producers make the friends and family ask all the questions but damn, let the girl drink her wine and paint her mediocre painting in peace!

When Jade's mom said they watch her kid and they aren't even used to kids I thought that's probably because Jade raised herself. Her parents sleeping all day is code for hiding out in the bedroom getting high, right? Her mom seems to have some level of self awareness which is possibly from a lot of court ordered therapy. I don't ever like to think people are beyond help but they seem really dug into their ways.

 

[Hedgehog2022]

1 hour ago, Soobs said:

Right?? Did she lose a bet or something? Also, I know the producers make the friends and family ask all the questions but damn, let the girl drink her wine and paint her mediocre painting in peace!

When Jade's mom said they watch her kid and they aren't even used to kids I thought that's probably because Jade raised herself. Her parents sleeping all day is code for hiding out in the bedroom getting high, right? Her mom seems to have some level of self awareness which is possibly from a lot of court ordered therapy. I don't ever like to think people are beyond help but they seem really dug into their ways.

 

They have addiction issues. They have no motivation to change. They've been this way for so long they don't know any other way to live. Jade really needs to start doing some tough love with them. Or put them on the show Intervention....something, anything is better than the life they lead. They've reversed roles with Jade...they're the teenagers and Jade is the parent. What dysfunction. Jade needs to keep Kloie in daycare and then scoot her over to preschool  next year so she doesn't have to be home with either her grandparents or her father. She needs to socialize with other kids her age and get some preschool education. If Jade can afford a brand new Mercedes Benz SUV she can afford a quality preschool for her daughter.

[StatisticalOutlier]

11 hours ago, Hedgehog2022 said:

they're the teenagers and Jade is the parent

And she's doing abut as good a job as her parent as it looks like Christy did for her.

10 hours ago, Hedgehog2022 said:

Or put them on the show Intervention....something, anything is better than the life they lead.

This would be a perfect situation for that.  I've always wondered why the people who are on Intervention don't grok to the fact that they're on Intervention.  But on this show, they could tell these two they're testing out doing a spinoff focusing on the families of the original "talent," and say they're going have to use a different crew, and call in the Intervention folks to take it from there.

[HorrrGoodnight]

What's up with Briana's face in her sidebar segments? Looks overly injected and/or pregnant.

[Polliwollidoodle]

Jack Sprat.

Thank you for that. 

 

And yeah, Briana and her family- I don't know that I have ever seen them all seeming alert and awake. Bri is always semi reclining, yawning, not dressed- and the fam the same way. Good thing she had all that plastic surgery done.

And Jade, I really do feel for her. She seems to have gotten the worst out of everyone's situation.

[Reciprocity]

Here's a Picture Perfect picture of how a certain two people could possibly look 20 years from now.

[Reciprocity]

As far as Ashley is concerned, yes you need to process what is happening. Contemplating divorce is highly emotional.

I understood exactly what the father was saying about the legality of it...protect yourself! File for a separation stat! Protect yourself, protect your assets...because if something happens, what's yours is his and what's his is yours...because you are married!

[StatisticalOutlier]

Dang.  Sean looks just like him and they're not even related.

 

Edited April 3, 2022 by StatisticalOutlier
even. not ever.

[Polliwollidoodle]

Interesting that photo of Mama Jade and Step (?) Dada Jade( are they even married? ).... I have to say Jade really cleans up well. When she is all dolled up she is very attractive- so different from when she has her glasses falling on her lips and her scrunched up bun. 

When they had some scene with her Mama wearing just a touch of make up and hair combed decently she too was really good looking.

 

I still say she got the raw end of everything and I give her credit for trying to better herself.