Small Talk: Girl Talk

[Meredith Quill]

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[Glama]

3 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

It was difficult watching Dorinda. In some ways, she reminds me of my mother’s behavior.

I'm so happy you were able to get your father to live with you and your husband ❤️ I'm sure he was happy and grateful for it! ❤️ 

I hope you can some day let go of your guilt. You weren't on speaking terms with your mother just out of spite: you were protecting yourself from her behavior. 

[Juneau Gal]

4 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

I wondered the same thing! 

It was difficult watching Dorinda. In some ways, she reminds me of my mother’s behavior when I was growing up. She had a lot of narcissistic traits and she’d go into rages fueled by alcohol. My sisters and I would try to get away, but someone always had to be the target. She needed to vent her anger on someone, and we had nowhere to hide.

It didn’t get better as my mother aged. Sadly, she died alone last year (October). She had alienated everyone. I still feel so guilty that when she died, I wasn’t speaking to her. I had visited her a few months earlier and then she turned abusive and really mean over text, so I had to step back. I tried my whole life to get along with her and please her. I tried to make her happy, but I couldn’t. My dad finally left after years of abuse. He had dementia and I learned she had started physically abusing him, so I convinced him (finally) to come live with my husband and me.

(He fell a few times and she didn’t call an ambulance and once left him in the tub over an hour. He had hit his head and was bleeding. She was enraged that he had become feeble and could no longer serve her. She also threw a glass at him, hitting him on forehead. There was a lot of other, horrible stuff I learned when my dad got out of there. He was ashamed and embarrassed with Stockholm Syndrome, so he protected her for years.)

My mother never forgave me for moving my dad in with me. I’m at peace with my decision. He had a few happy years before his Lewy Body dementia got worse. He also died last year. My sweet, dear Dad. I miss him so much. 

I’m sorry for such a long story. I’m still struggling with complicated feelings about my mother and her death. I grieve for my father. I loved him so much. His was the only nurturing and pure love I received growing up. 

I see Dorinda going down the same road as my mother—attacking, alienating others, getting drunk and mean. Friends and family try to hang in there, but eventually most will walk away. The next step for her is isolation. If she doesn’t get help, I fear she’ll end up like my mother, alone and miserable. 

I don’t know what to say about Brandi except she needs help too. She didn’t come off as bad as I expected, but the bar is pretty low for her. I wonder what Eddie and LeAnn Rimes think of her stint on this show or if they watched. 

I liked Eva and Phaedra on this because they stayed out of the drama and were still interesting. I don’t think Jill and Taylor added much though. 

I’m glad the next one will be at a neutral location. I will probably watch. I wish they would add Kendra from Atlanta and LeAnne from Dallas though. 

I am so sorry for all that you have been through. Please do not hold on to any guilt. There are sometimes times in life where a person has to make a decision that is right for THEM, protects THEM, and allows THEM to navigate through the rest of their life as well as possible. Your mother had her whole life to do right by you, she didn't. So, you had to do right for yourself. You did your best and then the time came when the best thing was to move on. Don't be guilty. Easier to say than do, I know, but take heart.

[RealHousewife]

Responding here since I'm getting OT from Girls Trip.

On 7/7/2022 at 3:58 PM, Ms Blue Jay said:

I will be the first to admit I loved RHUGT Season 1.  I've said it all over this place.  That season actually made me SMILE through EPISODES.  However, I am not even enjoying this season.  And that says a lot because I will watch almost any trash out there.  This is supposed to be a lighthearted summer romp and instead it's like BEING IN HELL WITH SATAN.  Yes I've used this joke before BUT THIS TIME I'M NOT JOKING.

Thank you for educating me about Brandi's racism.  That makes me see her in a whole new light.

 

I still have to go back and watch season 1 Girls Trip. So many shows to watch! :)

Yeah if you didn't watch that season of Beverly Hills . . .

While the BH cast is always full of beautiful women, I think Brandi really enjoyed being the tall, super skinny young one. Then came along beauty queen Joyce and gave her competition. Brandi's racism wasn't as bad as stuff I've seen on Dallas or Salt Lake City, but she was totally othering Joyce. I don't know if Brandi was even conscious she was doing it. To give Kyle credit, she was actually nice to Joyce and her jaw dropped by some of the stuff Brandi said. Joyce was always a favorite of mine across the franchise. She was gorgeous and sweet, but not a wallflower. It's a shame she was only on one season, but honestly, while she handed herself so well, she was too nice for the show. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

Thanks for the information @RealHousewife.  I only started watching RHOBH when Denise joined, and I've bailed on many many episodes because I just straight up do not like the show.  Sometimes I do want to watch the earlier seasons.  I went back to watch a lot of iconic stuff like the Amsterdam trip.

[RealHousewife]

12 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Thanks for the information @RealHousewife.  I only started watching RHOBH when Denise joined, and I've bailed on many many episodes because I just straight up do not like the show.  Sometimes I do want to watch the earlier seasons.  I went back to watch a lot of iconic stuff like the Amsterdam trip.

No prob! I don't blame you. The earlier seasons were definitely better. I think seasons 1 and 2 were probably the most entertaining. Season 1 drama was quite petty, until the finale when it got dark. It was interesting getting to know the ladies and the lifestyle porn was really nice. Season 2 had a serious darkness as well, but I still enjoyed it because it was just so jam-packed. 

[Book Junkie]

On 7/27/2022 at 7:49 AM, Sweet-tea said:

I wondered the same thing! 

It was difficult watching Dorinda. In some ways, she reminds me of my mother’s behavior when I was growing up. She had a lot of narcissistic traits and she’d go into rages fueled by alcohol. My sisters and I would try to get away, but someone always had to be the target. She needed to vent her anger on someone, and we had nowhere to hide.

It didn’t get better as my mother aged. Sadly, she died alone last year (October). She had alienated everyone. I still feel so guilty that when she died, I wasn’t speaking to her. I had visited her a few months earlier and then she turned abusive and really mean over text, so I had to step back. I tried my whole life to get along with her and please her. I tried to make her happy, but I couldn’t. My dad finally left after years of abuse. He had dementia and I learned she had started physically abusing him, so I convinced him (finally) to come live with my husband and me.

(He fell a few times and she didn’t call an ambulance and once left him in the tub over an hour. He had hit his head and was bleeding. She was enraged that he had become feeble and could no longer serve her. She also threw a glass at him, hitting him on forehead. There was a lot of other, horrible stuff I learned when my dad got out of there. He was ashamed and embarrassed with Stockholm Syndrome, so he protected her for years.)

My mother never forgave me for moving my dad in with me. I’m at peace with my decision. He had a few happy years before his Lewy Body dementia got worse. He also died last year. My sweet, dear Dad. I miss him so much. 

I’m sorry for such a long story. I’m still struggling with complicated feelings about my mother and her death. I grieve for my father. I loved him so much. His was the only nurturing and pure love I received growing up. 

I see Dorinda going down the same road as my mother—attacking, alienating others, getting drunk and mean. Friends and family try to hang in there, but eventually most will walk away. The next step for her is isolation. If she doesn’t get help, I fear she’ll end up like my mother, alone and miserable. 

I don’t know what to say about Brandi except she needs help too. She didn’t come off as bad as I expected, but the bar is pretty low for her. I wonder what Eddie and LeAnn Rimes think of her stint on this show or if they watched. 

I liked Eva and Phaedra on this because they stayed out of the drama and were still interesting. I don’t think Jill and Taylor added much though. 

I’m glad the next one will be at a neutral location. I will probably watch. I wish they would add Kendra from Atlanta and LeAnne from Dallas though. 

My mom is dying from Lewy Body dementia. It's awful. I'm glad you were able to take care of your dad and get him away from a toxic situation. I hope you obtain peace about your mother dying alone. You weren't going to change her, and you need to protect yourself and your family first. Hugs and prayers to you.

[Sweet-tea]

9 hours ago, Book Junkie said:

My mom is dying from Lewy Body dementia. It's awful. I'm glad you were able to take care of your dad and get him away from a toxic situation. I hope you obtain peace about your mother dying alone. You weren't going to change her, and you need to protect yourself and your family first. Hugs and prayers to you.

Thank you so much Book Junkie! I’m so sorry about your mother! God bless you.