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The Real Housewives of New York City: All the Vacation Episodes

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You could conceivably do this with any iteration of the Real Housewives franchise, but no series has consistently done it better than NYC, which has gifted us with Scary Island, Alex McCord's Herman Munster shoes, Johnny Depp the Sex Pirate, and Bethenny Frankel flipping out over whether life is, indeed, a cabaret. These episodes take up a three-episode bloc per season, taking the ladies to the Caribbean, Morocco, Miami, and the rough seas off of Cartagena. Note: this collection does not include the annual excursions to the Berkshires that began around Season 6, but if you felt like making those a separate binge, I would highly recommend it.

"Housewives Overboard" (Season 3, Episode 11)

"Sun, Sand, and Psychosis" (Season 3, Episode 12)

"Shunburn" (Season 3, Episode 13)

"Misfortune Teller" (Season 4, Episode 😎

"A Riad Divided" (Season 4, Episode 9)

"'Last Call, Morocco!'" (Season 4, Episode 10)

"Pirate Booty Call" (Season 5, Episode 13)

"Slutty Island" (Season 5, Episode 14)

"Vacation, All I Never Wanted" (Season 5, Episode 15)

"Ten Gallon Spats" (Season 6, Episode 15)

"Go Yell It on the Mountain" (Season 6, Episode 16)

"Bury the Hatchet" (Season 6, Episode 17)

"Lord of the Manor" (Season 7, Episode 12)

"Sonja Island" (Season 7, Episode 13)

"Conch Blocked" (Season 7, Episode 14)

"Don't Be All, Like, Uncool" (Season 7, Episode 15)

"And Away We Finally Go" (Season 8, Episode 17)

"Body of Evidence" (Season 8, Episode 18)

"Tomfoolery" (Season 8, Episode 19)

"Three Tequila … Floor!" (Season 9, Episode 16)

"Tequila-thon" (Season 9, Episode 17)

"Make Out, Make Up" (Season 9, Episode 18)

"Wigging Out" (Season 10, Episode 15)

"Guess Who's Arguing at Dinner?" (Season 10, Episode 16)

"Ship Happens" (Season 10, Episode 17)

"Caught Between an Ex and a Hard Place" (Season 11, Episode 15)

"Life Is Not a Cabaret" (Season 11, Episode 16)

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Nothing beats Scary Island.  I even looked into renting that fabulous villa. It rented at the time for $10,000 A WEEK, but with all those bedrooms, it would be great for an  extended family or a group of friends.  


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1 hour ago, AuntieDiane6 said:

Nothing beats Scary Island.  I even looked into renting that fabulous villa. It rented at the time for $10,000 A WEEK, but with all those bedrooms, it would be great for an  extended family or a group of friends.  


Sadly I had my own scary island experience in a multi million dollar house in the Bahamas, nothing fun about it.  One of our group was bullied so bad by the ahole that arranged it all  that she left three days in to a week long vacation, I was ganged up on because I gave an opinion and one of the women was convinced I was flirting with her husband, (not) and she was eating gluten free out of choice (pain in the ass), most of the week was watching them get stoned and drunk. 

I just say no to group vacations now and I almost felt a tinge of sympathy for Kelly.

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1 hour ago, AuntieDiane6 said:

Nothing beats Scary Island.  I even looked into renting that fabulous villa. It rented at the time for $10,000 A WEEK, but with all those bedrooms, it would be great for an  extended family or a group of friends.  


Not even The Cartegena Shits?  Lu soiling her bed and Ramona leaving a trail on the floor? which, I believe was the day after the boat ride from Hell.

Scary Island is definitely a classic (one of the first episodes I ever saw). I never did quite understand why Alex broke out in hives and was shaking when Jill showed up, but I don't think I've ever seen the episodes leading up to the trip in their entirety. 

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Scary Island is definitely a classic (one of the first episodes I ever saw). I never did quite understand why Alex broke out in hives and was shaking when Jill showed up, but I don't think I've ever seen the episodes leading up to the trip in their entirety. 

I would PAY, yes, PAY to see one of those "Inside the Episode" shows for Scary Island like they did for BH's Dinner Party from Hell and the OC's trip to Canada "I NEVER SLEPT WITH MULTIPLE PEOPLE!!!!!"

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I watched the Morocco episodes today, and I watched the season 11 episodes in Miami, and the season 10 episodes in Cartagena recently, and one thing that shocked me was how much kinder the women were to each other in Morocco.  

I think the difference was Bethenny.  In Miami, Bethenny got there, barged into Luann’s room and said “I’m here to talk and not listen,” she screamed at Sonja, she said she didn’t feel bad for Tinsley getting free art because Bethenny had a daughter and Tinsley didn’t, Bethenny had harsh words for Barbara, and then she lit into Luann in one of the worst ways  in the history of this franchise and everyone was so nonchalant about the cruel treatment.  

Same with Columbia—Bethenny was such a bitch.  She had to have all the attention on her and she was losing her shit all the fucking time and antagonizing Carole and forming factions, sometimes with Dorinda, sometimes against Dorinda, she ran hot and cold with Tinsley, and everything was drama, drama, drama in the worst way with her—crying jags and spending sprees, but if anyone was to compliment Carole on her fashion, Bethenny was done and had to excuse herself because she “just can’t.”  (I love people who “can’t” when no one is asking them to do anything).  She was purposely trying to provoke people and it was so tiring.  

I was surprised that it wasn’t always this way.  I know that on Scary Island, everyone got along, with the obvious exception of Kelly, but the entire cast wasn’t there, and they had a common enemy in Kelly, so it was really easy for them all to unite.  

I haven’t seen Morocco in a really long time, and the thing that stood out for me so clearly was that if felt really producer-driven.  And what seemed like high drama back then was so much kinder and gentler than Bethenny allowed them to be was upon her return.  

I was trying to understand just what went wrong in Morocco, because they had some really good times, and it seemed like as soon as Jill and Ramona had their silly fight, it became a completely producer driven team thing even more than ever before.  It was as if someone gave them instructions, “this is the time to fight and form teams.”  But then they all made up and had a fabulous last night dinner.  It was...nice!

Everyone took a turn at being awful, for sure, but I noticed there was never anyone who was constantly awful.  When Luann was being a diva and running around probably on Adderall, obsessing over making Morocco nice, Kelly was being sane and calming everyone down, like at the souk.  

Two things that annoyed me intensely about Ramona was that false hysterical crying she did with an arm extended over her head after the fake fight with Jill.  Also, Ramona jumping up and down like a pixie in her Moroccan dress has always caused such a strong visceral reaction of disgust in me.  There is something so innately immature about it.  It was like she was jumping around with her overbite practically screaming, “aren’t I cute!” And, no, no you’re not cute, and no one over 12 should really ever do that.  

I thought Sonja showed one of her first moments of real Sonja instability that was to come when she was crying hysterically about what a fortune teller told the women about Ramona.  I was so glad Ramona told Sonja she was projecting and that Sonja married an old man.  Sonja also almost started crying at the thought of riding a camel, and somehow her ex-husband and her financial affairs had to come into that too.  

Jill said she heard from her crowd that Mario’s cheating.  Some people never change.  But what really surprised me was that Jill was being such a good sport on the trip in general.   

For all the flak Alex gets for being The Messenger, she was pretty silent through the whole first episode.  She sincerely wanted Ramona and Jill to make up from their fake TV fight, which was her first mistake.  She shouldn’t want something more for people than they want it for themselves.  Alex’s second mistake was having that talk with Ramona on the rooftop when Ramona seemed so perplexed that Luann jumped on her so aggressively and Alex agreed to be Ramona’s wingman.  She should have let Ramona fight her own damn battle and not have been swayed by Ramona’s ADD bullshit. 

Cindy was so weird getting all up in her feelings about her spot in the van and following Sonja around the souk to argue with her, but she was alright overall.  I think she really could have stood a chance of having a friendship with Alex if there wasn’t that dumb blonde vs brunette thing going on (which was also producer-driven and never made any sense to me, as Jill was a redhead, and at least at the time they went to Morocco, her hair was closer to blonde than brown).  

When Kelly was insisting that Alex didn’t come down “authentically” and to go back upstairs and come down again, I think that was her breaking the fourth wall.  Kelly telling Alex not to fight Ramona’s battle while she was fighting Luann’s battle was rich.  But it did get us some great Kelly-isms, like “who is going to fix this, Santa?”  Also Kelly accusing Alex of “making a casino,” when I think she meant “making a scene,” will never not be funny.  

When Luann and Kelly lost their shit, I noticed Jill and Cindy were nice to Alex.  No one alienated her.  There was no campaign against anyone, the way that Bethenny would launch.  

I was paying really close attention, and Luann didn’t get really insufferable until the “This is not The Plaza” dinner, but even then she made nice with Alex after she scolded her.  Jill was being perfectly welcoming to Alex as soon as she walked in; she let Luann fight her own battle.  I think the brunettes plus Jill plus Alex could have had a nice dinner if Kelly didn’t decide it was her turn to be the crazy asshole and force Alex out of the room.

The worst thing that happened over the course of the entire vacation was that Luann told Ramona that she couldn’t have dinner.  Then they talked it out, Luann tried to get in a passive-aggressive dig, Ramona ignored it, and they moved on.  No one decided that Luann had to be told off for hours about what a slut she is.  It was a decent time!

Although I said it’s almost impossible for me to compare this to Scary Island, I do have to say, though, that I enjoy them going to warm and tropical places more than I enjoy them in Morocco or Montana.  The islands seem like the place where the crazy really comes out to play.  

Other random thoughts:

Jill made that infamous remark about everyone having two faces, basically your real face and your social face, and she got so much shit for it online, but I agreed with her when this aired, and I agree with her now.   

They were talking about tattoos then too!  Luann said all her friends had gotten them, but she was too afraid, and Kelly said it would be too permanent for her. 

Something that I had completely forgotten that was juicy was when the fortune teller said there was another woman, Ramona was emphatic that Luann had tried to get with Mario in the past.  Wonder what that was about.  

I guess I’m up next is St Barths!  That’s a pretty good one.  Without Jill, Kelly and Cindy to make her feel high and mighty, Luann became a completely different, much more likable person, IIRC.  I guess I’ll find out soon if my memory of the thing holds up.  

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On 4/21/2020 at 12:40 PM, Primetimer said:

“Pirate Booty Call" (Season 5, Episode 13)

"Slutty Island" (Season 5, Episode 14)

"Vacation, All I Never Wanted" (Season 5, Episode 15)


I don’t know where to go with this one.  It wasn’t as good as i thought it would be.  There was a huge downturn in behavior since Morocco and it wasn’t fun the way that I remember Turks and Caicos and Mexico were.  It was dark, like Scary Island, except I found there was pretty much no one to root for.  

Ramona and Sonja were very annoying, like manic.  The theory of the vacation, if I remember correctly, was that they were going to go to see Russ from Aerosmith do music on a girls trip.  So Russ is the exception, but Ramona was immediately giving Carole shit for having Russ there, and why can’t she bring Mario?  Ramona, this is what you agreed to!  But it was a harbinger of things to come.  I used to take offense to Reid saying that Ramona and Sonja were like the overweight, old lady version of Girls Gone Wild, but they were really gross, so I don’t mind gross language about their behavior even if it’s not entirely accurate.  They are older and probably weigh more than most Girls Gone Wild, even if they were not that old and not overweight by any means.  

Carole was more annoying than I remember her being.  She tried to control everyone’s conversation.  When Aviva arrived and started a brouhaha,  Carole got all pissy and complained that she missed Russ’s rehearsal and she “never fucking sees him.”  Well...he lives in California, Carole.  How much did you expect to see him?  What stopped her from just leaving?  Why did she have to referee what was going on between the other women?  No one demanded that she be present, so stop complaining.  

At one point, Sonja asked Russ if he’s ever met a hotter girl than Carole, and Carole goes from dying laughing to serious to saying, “have you?”  Carole, you look like a horse!  

Carole had almost no reaction to “white trash,” but this is the same season she freaked out over the term “Indian.”  Double standard!  I also thought it was snobby when Carole said that there’s ”an inelegance” to Sonja and Ramona when they’re drinking—not because it’s not true—but because I have a feeling she would never make that type of public statement about someone with real money or someone she felt to be her equal, like a Kennedy.  I have a feeling we won’t be hearing anytime soon how “inelegant” Naeem Khan is when he drinks (whereas I have seen Reid on Marriage Boot Camp, and he was trying to pay women to blow his male houseguests, so nothing is beyond him, which is why the GGW comment was at least consistent with his character).  

Luann was a completely different person.  I forgot that vacation was the first time I heard her say “fuck” and I was shocked, just shocked!  Her story with the Italians was so weak.  Everyone who knows about lying knows that the devil is in the details.  Don’t just keep saying “Italian friends,” because you sound like a liar.  Start making up names.  Say you saw Giovanna Medici from Venice, and she had a bunch of friends that you brought back to the house.  That way she doesn’t have to account for the identities of the men—they were friends of a friend, so Luann doesn’t know them.  That’s how you lie.  

Also, Heather?  This doesn’t put you in a bad position with Jacques if you refuse to gossip about it, and if someone does tell you something, you can just say you don’t believe it, whether you do or not, and then your hands are completely clean when it comes to Jacques. 

As far as Reid being there, I have a really strong opinion about this, and I think it could have been completely avoided if Aviva had just taken the damn boat to St Barth’s, so once again I saw producer intervention, when I had not seen it that way before.  If the woman was too afraid to board a damn boat, she should have just skipped it, the way she skipped London. Come on!

My opinion is that the whole thing with Reid coming was a clusterfuck and I am mostly on the side of the women—Sonja, Ramona, and Luann—that it was a girls’ trip + Russ in the background.  Contrary to what Aviva said, Sonja and Luann can bring guys home, and that’s not the same as bringing your husband and him having dinner with you guys.  What goes on with other people when everyone else is sleeping doesn’t take away from the experience.  Aviva could have stolen kisses with Reid after the festivities were over.  I don’t think anyone would have cared about that.  They just didn’t want a husband around.  

To be fair, there were a lot of conflicting ideas floating around about Reid’s status though, and the blame doesn’t just fall on Aviva.  It wasn’t as cut and dried as I remembered it.  Carole was talking out of both sides of her mouth, by acting like she had no clue about anything on the one hand, but Aviva said as soon as she arrived that Carole had said they would have a double date dinner, so it was discussed by Carole.  On Skype, Heather told Aviva to bring Reid there and have lots of sex, but then Heather got really, really upset when she found out Carole, Aviva, Reid and Russ were going to go out to a private dinner, and Reid even characterized it as “a mini couples’ trip.” Luann started trouble on purpose by telling the group that there was going to be that couples’ dinner.  Luann stirred shit up in such an obvious Reality Show way when she told Aviva that Ramona and Sonja said Reid would change the dynamic even though that’s exactly what Luann said too.  I thought it was so insulting and tone-deaf for Aviva to invite Heather to the couples’ dinner after the fact.  Who wants an invite under duress?  Who wants to be a fifth wheel? 

Reid should not have stayed on the property, period.  He was happy to go to a hotel, the women were happy for him not to be there, but Aviva turned it into her hill to die on.  For someone who went to Vassar and speaks four languages, Aviva was not understanding that it was a girls’ trip and if she needed her husband on the plane, he could both stay at a hotel and escort her on a plane.  🤦‍♀️

Aviva’s attitude upon arrival was so poor that I couldn’t imagine anything going right, even if Sonja and Ramona were behaving themselves, so I put the onus of this fucked trip on her.  She wanted a personal greeting?  Why?  Because she overcame her phobia and took a flight?  That’s Aviva’s personal cross to bear.  No one owed Reid a thank you except Aviva; her argument was so self-serving.  It was basically, “thank him; otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”  Nobody cared that you were there.  Read a room. 

Also Aviva did this thing that I hate—she clearly had more of a bone to pick with Ramona, so she took everything Sonja did and blamed Ramona for it.  She said “they” were topless when Reid got there.  No, Ramona had her top on.  Stop exaggerating.  Sonja brought a man home, but Aviva acted like she had some ace in the hole when she was like, “I heard there were many men here!!”  Ding, ding, ding, these women have sex!  

Ramona was the one who orchestrated the apology and pushed everything aside, and it was Sonja and Aviva who didn’t want to let the thing die, so of course Aviva continued to take digs at Sonja and Ramona the next day.  Although that led to one of the best confrontations of the vacation, so I can’t be mad at it.  Aviva saying, you are the biggest double dealing person I’ve met in my life and Sonja responding that her mouth is money and that she’s old (what does any of that mean? Lol). For someone so articulate, Aviva got tongue-tied a lot, and let some drunken floozy kind of take her down.  

As much as I loathed the way Sonja and Ramona were acting, they were right about Reid coming, and they got thrown under the bus by Lu.  I wish they had gone to a hotel as they were planning.  Bravo would have had no choice but to follow them with a camera crew and everyone else’s screen time would have decreased as a result.  Or no camera crew, and they’d get to get drunk in their own way off camera.  Bravo had just unloaded four of its cast members the year before, and they were putting Lu on a break.  There is no way they would have fired Sonja and Ramona for leaving for a legit reason.  They probably would have fired Aviva one season earlier for driving the two leads of the show away.  I feel like that is something that would be more likely to happen now that everyone is more savvy about playing politics, for better or for worse.  

In the same spirit, I didn’t mind that Ramona and Sonja weren’t taking the last dinner seriously and kept leaving to pack.  You could tell it really fucked up the way the scene was supposed to go, and that is fine.  I would like to think it was their passive-aggressive way of saying, ok, Reid got to stay?  This is FUBAR and we’re not following any of the rules.  

The moral of watching this?  I am reminded that Carole was sneakily insufferable from the get-go.  Luann was a bad liar, which is a habit she continues for years, Heather can be a baby and a brat at times, and while Sonja and Ramona were pigs, I kind of felt like at least they were our pigs.  Ramona would get slightly better, Sonja would get much worse.  And most of all I had forgotten what a pill Aviva was.  I had always wanted her back, because I thought she would step to Bethenny in a big way, but she wasn’t all that great.  Could barely hold her own against Sonja.  Since Aviva skips the Montana trip, this will be the last I see of her.  I am so happy to say good-bye to her in four languages:  Adios, arrivederci, aloha and ciao!!

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On 4/21/2020 at 12:40 PM, Primetimer said:

"Ten Gallon Spats" (Season 6, Episode 15)

"Go Yell It on the Mountain" (Season 6, Episode 16)

"Bury the Hatchet" (Season 6, Episode 17)

I kinda feel like I’m alone here, but I have to go back to work, so I have to do my rewatches now or never, so here goes with Montana:

I felt like their cabins were kind of ugly, and then when they went glamping—I couldn’t believe how much they were roughing it.  I’m not sure this is my Housewives wheel house.  I mean, at one point Ramona said that her bed wasn’t made and she had no towels.  I don’t even have that kind of lack of luxury when I go on my regular person vacations.  

As a horse person growing up, I thought it It was a little early for them to be herding cows. It can be really rough on the horse and the cow (and dangerous for the person, but they chose this, so I’m not overly concerned about that part).  I didn’t enjoy the rodeo for the same reason.  I’m not a fan of the rodeo.  When we have events where horses ride people, and cows wrestle people to the ground by their neck, we can talk.  

All the drama surrounding Luann wanting to dominate short French men was funny, but it got old fast.  It would be much ado about nothing if it were completely untrue.  I love Kristen being on Sonja’s side, not with Heather being high and mighty about Sonja’s metaphor about Luann being a pig.  Get over yourself.  Carole says Luann is tall and strong and people don’t realize how sensitive she is—ha, Carole you will be at war with Luann for the next few seasons.  Where are your thoughtful observations then?

The interesting drama was between Heather and Kristen.  I freaking love Kristen.  I wish she’d stayed on the show longer.  She said she was the most honest person there, and I believed her.  Heather is bossy and she was in some really weird competition with Kristen.  I feel like she really didn’t want Kristen to have success rappelling down the mountain, and she took it personally when Kristen was able to do it.  I get the impression that Heather thinks Kristen is a little stupid and weak, and Heather is thinking that while she may never be six foot tall and gorgeous like Kristen, her role will be the confident boss, but as soon as a mirror is held up to her, she doesn’t like it.  And I thought the geocaching was boring.  But why couldn’t Heather peace out the way Ramona did?  Why did she have to stay back and harangue?

What was funny was when Kristen stomped off and Ramona followed her so they could say how meek Jonathan, Heather’s husband was, in contrast to how strong and commanding their husbands were.  Erm...what ever happened to Josh or Mario?  Lol

I don’t think Kristen said anything bad about Heather’s marriage per se.  Kristen said that Heather bosses her husband around.  She didn’t say there was a flaw in her Heather’s marriage (maybe Jonathan likes being bossed around, the way Luann’s little French men like to be dominated).  Kristen was merely pointing out that Heather was bossy in all types of capacities.  Fair enough.  Also, if you’re never, never, never supposed to go for someone’s marriage, what was up with Heather saying that even though Kristen has an au pair, she gets up with her kids?  Isn’t that “going low” by criticizing the family dynamic?

Heather said on St Barths that Ramona doesn’t want to fight with two people at once, but Heather has proven to be the same way. As soon as she lit into Kristen, she started cozying up to Ramona.

Carole was really nice to Kristen when she was crying.  When there is something nice to be said about Carole, I say it.  

It was interesting that Heather went into the make-up with Kristen feeling intimidated.  And Heather was ultimately the one to back down.  Kristen didn’t need to take back anything she said about Jonathan; she doubled-down on it and Heather let it go anyway.  Kristen was...kind of a bad-ass boss.

Sonja never changes in sexually harassing the male staff. Carole was pretty bad too, insisting on a hug from the shooting instructor, and demanding to know why he hugged Ramona first.  

I totally agreed with Sonja that they should have gone out to a restaurant rather than bring in a chef.  Maybe no restaurant would let them film there.  I was getting cabin fever just watching.  The last night’s dinner was charming.  I thought it was funny how impressed they all got with the tall cowboy, and, for once, they were enjoying a man without pawing all over him.  

This vacation actually felt like a parody, with some of the music and the fly fishing—I mean, fly fishing, really?  With these women?

The funniest part of the vacation to me was the guide.  He was so laid back and deadpan in telling Sonja that marrying your cousin is a negative Montana stereotype that shouldn’t be perpetuated.  Then when Luann was calling Kristen “Pocahontas” and he said “Sacagawea would be more appropriate; Pocahontas was from the northeast,” and Luann laughed and said “exactly!” (as if she had any idea what he was saying), it was hysterical. 

Carole in the bear suit was funny, if a little campy, pardon the pun.  I loved that they had to take a super old fashioned wagon everywhere.  it was just a very different kind of vacation.

I cannot wait to see Kristen and Bethenny in the same space in Turks & Caicos! 

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On 4/21/2020 at 12:40 PM, Primetimer said:

“Lord of the Manor" (Season 7, Episode 12)

"Sonja Island" (Season 7, Episode 13)

"Conch Blocked" (Season 7, Episode 14)

"Don't Be All, Like, Uncool" (Season 7, Episode 15)

This starts off with the boring obligatory room grab and Carole videotaping everything like iCarly.  That house was off the charts beautiful, too, with such great water spots, except from the outside, which looked like a fortress.  

I liked Bethenny for the most part on this vacay.  She was like halfway between her season three awesomeness and the monster she would become.  I did like that Bethenny spoke directly to Sonja about her drinking, as did Heather, and I think back then there was more  everyone saying things to people’s faces.  It was a little weird and controlling when Bethenny told Heather how to brand her product and Ramona how to name her book.  It was ironic that Bethenny accused Ramona of being manic (when I believe the correct term is “selfish”) when Bethenny was screaming and chopping in a bikini.

I liked Bethenny not letting Luann shuffle her and Sonja along when they were fighting. It felt like payback from the prior season, when Luann hustled Jill out of Ramona’s apartment before she could make up with Bethenny.  Bethenny seemed really disconcerted by Heather, as if she thought she was taking her place, but I liked the way they made up and kept it moving.  Luann was so sixth grade jealous that Heather and Bethenny were getting along and even scoffed that the two would exchange a pleasant text.  How dare they, I know, Countess!  There must be discord amongst the women or they might form a friendship and ice you out.  

Apparently Sonja had quite the drinking problem already.  It seemed like she was ready to admit to it until Dorinda wound her up when she said “people shouldn’t be so comfortable giving their opinion” to Sonja.  She also said she’d never say “F you.”  Ha!  And then she accused Heather of acting like “a bitch” for walking ahead of her into a restaurant.  Isn’t “bitch’ and “fuck” like six of one and half dozen of the other?  

I loved Bethenny articulating (and enforcing) the rule the rest of the women had to pay $100 every time they talked about Sonja.  It was actually a good way of stopping the obsession about one cast member and the reward of bad behavior.  I liked the fact that Sonja skipped the boat trip because she was mad/embarrassed about being called out for her drinking, and they had a fun time without her.  I feel like these days Sonja says and does the most outlandish, damaging things when she drinks, and just skates on it.  

Bethenny and Kristen had a really strange conversation at the first restaurant where Dorinda freaked out wherein they agreed they can survive affairs in a long marriage as long as the affairs are discreet.  I guess Kristen already knew about Josh and Ashley Madison at that time, but what was Bethenny’s excuse?  I thought she was all, I am woman, hear me roar?

At the tiki bar, it was pretty crazy how Ramona boxed Bethenny and Carole out of the conversation with the owner of the tiki bar, John.  Bethenny was so funny in saying Ramona was ready to move to the island to be with him.  And the next morning...they held her accountable.  Which is nice.  I’d like to see more of that these days.  

Ramona and Sonja were both acting really selfish and rude throughout the vacation, but it was funny when Ramona said Carole “is fucking some 28 year old,” even though (maybe especially because) there was no call to bring it up at that time.  

That last night’s dinner was such a shit show.  Luann and Dorinda were so drunk in a way we haven’t seen before on this vacation.  I wonder why they chose an argument over appropriate cursing as their hill to die on.  Luann had been cursing a lot since season five, telling the pirate, “don’t fuck with me, I’m an Indian!”  So where does she get off? 

I die for Luann confronting Heather about how it’s not a big deal that they brought home guys and it was all “uncool” to cry about it.  Heather was practically hysterical.  It was like someone needed to slap her in her face to bring her to her senses.  

Overall it was a great vacation.  Nobody behaved well, except Carole and Kristen, but no one’s behavior was so egregious that any festivities had to be interrupted.  This was a great balance.  It was that sweet spot right before Bethenny became completely toxic, and before Dorinda’s/Sonja’s/Luann’s drinking went totally off the wall.  

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On 4/21/2020 at 12:40 PM, Primetimer said:

And Away We Finally Go" (Season 8, Episode 17)

"Body of Evidence" (Season 8, Episode 18)

"Tomfoolery" (Season 8, Episode 19)

Luann was so happy about Tom that she was bordering on manic.  Although I don’t like when Bethenny calls her that, because Bethenny sees mania in everyone, and I have never seen a more manic person than Bethenny Frankel.  

The whole party on the yacht?  Don’t go to a de facto engagement party if you can’t support the engaged couple.  Period.  Ramona and Sonja are the absolute worst, insisting Tom was taken from them, but Dorinda and Carole were really stirring the pot from behind closed doors.  Dorinda was saying “at some point the stories are going to have to gel.”  Why?  Are we playing Clue in my grandmother’s basement?  Who cares if Tom went on one date or four with Ramona?  Is that going to be part of their vows? The only one of them who came out of this looking good was the one with the worst marriage—Jules.  At least Bethenny was consistent with skipping the whole Palm Beach part.

That yacht was gorgeous by any standard.  Sonja looked so jealous and pathetic saying no one can talk about this yacht if they haven’t seen her ex-husband’s.  Why was Sonja even there if the crowd “is kinda iffy,” and she can’t even look at the ring?

I don’t care one iota about Bethenny’s bleeding.  She’s embarrassing.  

Ramona and Sonja acting like Luann took Tom away from them (as if he is some inanimate object) for which she owes them a dowry is absurd.  Then they say in the next breath that Luann shouldn’t marry Tom, as he’s damaged goods.  You guys kind of have to pick a lane on that one.  It’s all bullshit.  It shows how desperate they are to have a date or get fucked.

Carole was waiting in the wings to say to Sonja, “in another age, you would have considered him a lover,” in order to wind her up.  Then Carole was champing at the bit to see Tom with Sonja, Ramona and Luann at Luann’s engagement party.  Why, because she likes pain and confusion?  Carole is not the kind person she wants us to think she is.  Being soft-spoken does not negate a cruel heart.  

Dorinda’s drunk toast was everything.  

When Ramona realized she wasn’t getting any traction off the number of dates she had with Tom, suddenly Ramona’s beef was that Luann put her in the press with direct quotes.  Funnily enough though, when Luann retrieved the article in question and tried to read it verbatim, Ramona cut her off twice and we never got to hear what the article said.  Ramona, you delicate flower, if you don’t like what they’re saying about you in the press about Tom, if you are such a private person, sue the newspaper for defamation for allegedly saying you slept with Tom, and, of course, get off reality TV for your own privacy.  Right? 

Bethenny and the texts she “anonymously” received—my view is either keep your mouth shut or tell Luann immediately.  The perfect solution would be to text the photos to Luann from an anonymous source, which Bethenny can figure out how to do, as she has more money than the Sheik of Dubai.  But, failing that, Bethenny should have just told Luann what she had when they were having the monogamy conversation.  I don’t believe Bethenny didn’t want to ruin the weekend; I believe she wanted to hold onto this until the end of filming the vacation.  If Luann and Tom broke up over this, and get re-engaged, there would definitely be another South Florida party weekend.  The show already saved a ton of money when Hawaii got cancelled.  

Carole is once again there to slyly stir up shit.  She asked Bethenny if she could see the pictures of Tom making out, after Bethenny already told Ramona and Carole she wouldn’t show them, and Carole says, “even if she asks, I’ll deny it.”  Why look at the pictures and humiliate Luann and then plan to lie about it to her face?  Isn’t that just as petty as all the behavior that Carole claims to detest?

I loved Bethenny laying into Carole for being late to the first night’s dinner in Miami.  It was overkill, and I was living for it.  I felt like she was speaking for everyone who hates lateness, and I was thrilled that Bethenny didn’t let Carole skate, just because they were friends. 

I hate how narrow Ramona’s comfort zone is.  Why can’t she go to Sandbar?  Why does she just want to go to lunch in Miami the way she has lunch in New York?  And I hate how she lied about it to Dorinda.  I was so glad Dorinda laid into her for that one.  

I can’t underscore how poorly they were all—Bethenny, Carole, Sonja, and Ramona—were acting through this entire trip.  No one cared that Sonja’s story changed twice.  She went from being a friend with benefits with Tom, to his lover, to someone who was about to meet his mother right around Thanksgiving.  Well, Sonja, he didn’t pick you and you have a strange relationship with the truth, so no one should care.  Everyone only did care because they were miserable and wanted to see Luann taken down several pegs, which I think is quite gross for colleagues.  And some of these women call each other friends!  They have the meanest streaks and the most fragile egos and they were horrible to Luann for having the unmitigated gall for having gotten something she wanted that they couldn’t get.  The nerve of Luann for getting engaged to Tom without the written permission from everyone on the Upper East Side!  Walk it off, losers.  

It was so immature of Bethenny to scramble and not want to sit by Luann the first night at dinner and then invite an artist the the last night’s dinner so that Luann couldn’t have a frank conversation with her.  It’s so cowardly.  It’s shocking how they were still going on about Tom being Sonja’s lover after the majority of them knew there were pictures of him kissing another woman.  No one thought that there are bigger problems on the horizon?  Probably not, because they only think about themselves, except for Jules.  

I don’t blame Luann for trying to patch it up with Tom, because she is Luann.  It’s certainly not my cup of tea, but I wouldn’t relish in it and I would be there to support her.  These women were so poorly behaved and I was really turned off.  I wish Luann never invited them to her party.  Their goal was sabotage, and that’s really not funny or entertaining to me.  

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On 4/21/2020 at 12:40 PM, Primetimer said:

“Three Tequila … Floor!" (Season 9, Episode 16)

"Tequila-thon" (Season 9, Episode 17)

"Make Out, Make Up" (Season 9, Episode 18)

The house was gorgeous—possibly the best one.  

The room grab by Ramona and Sonja was grosser than ever before.  They don’t have to sleep together; they don’t even live together in NYC. Sonja was so intimidating to Tinsley over switching rooms.  She was like Jimmy Hoffa.  I’m so glad she didn’t get her way. And they called Tinsley unfuckable, so there’s that.  

I hate this vacation shtick that Ramona and Sonja engage in. They’re casual party friends in NYC, and they go on vacation and look into each others’ eyes profess their undying love for each other every single time.  Is this how people incapable of empathy pretend to relate to each other?

I can’t get on Tinsley’s side about “who put her in the press” simply because, in season 11, Tinsley mocked Luann for worrying about the same exact thing in the same exact gossip column.  She was just such a baby about someone implying that she ungracious.  By screaming, crying, jumping and turning your face purple, you’re really rehabbing your image there, Tins.  It’s just not cool for a woman in her forties to be so upset that someone is gossiping about her manners as a houseguest.  No one would even be talking about this little tidbit if Tinsley wasn’t on the show, so if she really didn’t want it to be a thing, she didn’t have to shack up with Sonja in the first place.

Luann falling into the bushes!  And then she fell off a huge step immediately thereafter.  That will always be great.  

I hate it when Sonja calls Ramona “Singer.”  She tries so hard to pretend that she’s this cultivated Upper East Side woman with yachts and travel, and then when she calls a female friend by her last name, she goes right back to the girl from upstate New York.  I’ve never been around women in my life who called each other by last name.  It’s so gruff.  It’s everything that Sonja claims she’s not (but she is).

I also hate Tinsley calling people “babe.”  It sounds so dated and unlike anything else Tinsley says or does.  Saying “babe” sounds like a fat, sleazy 60 year old male casting agent with a cigar in his mouth looking over the talent:  “Do me a favor and turn around for me, babe.”

Bethenny was really really impressed with her Tequila, Mexico thing.  I wasn’t sure I completely got it.  They spent a lot of time on their feet oohing and ahhing over stuff that seemed really normal for Mexico.  The factory part seemed boring.  It was only when they got to sit down and drink all variations of tequila that it seemed to get fun.  They should have just skipped to that part, but then Bethenny wouldn’t have been able to advertise for her company, so we couldn’t have that.  

I don’t believe Sonja hasn’t had a drink in ten months or ten days.  She was acting so inappropriate around her friends.  She sexually harasses and assaults them when she gets drunk.  Her nudity is so much more vulgar than, say, Bethenny’s nudity.  I really don’t like Sonja.  

Drunken, semi-verbal Dorinda stabbing her hand with a knife was interesting.  Her delivery to Bethenny sucked, but she was kind of right that Bethenny is exhausted/exhausting with her perfection.  Dorinda was really scary at that juncture, but Bethenny was even scarier when everyone was sober the next morning and she really made Dorinda pay.  It was good.  A fair fight.  Dorinda and Bethenny are actually pretty good adversaries.  The was one of the last times we saw that.  By season 11, Dorinda was fully up Bethenny’s ass.

I was glad something interesting at the final dinner happened, because fishing is boring to watch.  How come the closer these women get to the equator, the more upset they get about the F word (harkening back to Turks & Caicos)?  I don’t love Tinsley and her alcohol balls, but I do enjoy that she got Luann together about Palm Beach vs West Palm Beach, but why couldn’t she do that sober?  She was drunk and she had big balls because she was going to Las Vegas with Scott and she got Dutch courage.  Tinsley has always been that way.  The only time she gave a zinger when sober was at the season 11 reunion when she told Ramona that if Ramona sleeps with her boobs, Tinsley can sleep with her lashes.  Otherwise, she’s a shrinking violet until she’s drunk.  Probably a reason why she drinks so much.

This vacation was ok.  Not a lot happened.  I thought the whole thing about Tinsley and the press was filler, because nothing else was really going on.  Now that I’m done with my curated binges, I am starting to realize this show does have a lot of filler.  So many of the same themes came up in each vacation.  Bethenny really comes in hard at everyone.  Sonja and Dorinda get drunk in completely different, completely inappropriate ways.  Sonja and Ramona are selfish assholes who get a kick out of same.  Tinsley has a mini-meltdown.  Luann is the only wild card.  She’s usually pretty cool and easygoing—she’ll rappel down a mountain, fuck a pirate, bring home a naked man, fall into a bush, don a wig—and then she can be imperious in Morocco.  Then she was piled on in Florida twice, when she had the audacity to be engaged, and once when she was “sober.”  I guess we’ll see what this season will bring.  

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