Kloie

Add me to team "Piper is ugly." Girl is hideous both inside and out.

I thought she needed a flipper, which I know is just giving into the plastic doll image that these weird pageants are encouraging. But her teeth are growing in, which is normal for a child her age, and they are pretty large. If you're going to have your kid do the full glitz pageant thing, and you say she won the year prior, why would you not follow through and get her the flipper? Similarly, it's weird that someone who won the pageant last year would hire a novice coach and an inexperienced hairdresser (particularly the hairdresser). It seemed like M's mom didn't know what she was doing.

And fancy pants (good name, h/t Daisy Head) actually, ahem, fathered those children? I can't remember too much about their prior episode, though I vaguely remember it taking place. But I'm not buying it. And the way she talked to him - good lord! I, too, believe that Applesauce should stop doing pageants. I don't think she is really "facially gifted," nor are pageants seemingly her cup of tea. She was very boring. Her sister was cute and at least had some energy on stage. Though they both just walked around with their animals and sort of stood there mugging at the judges.

"You taste like a burger. I don't like you anymore."

Is that true? I didn't know that! That's ridiculous.

Right - does that suggest the subsequent drama is invalid?

I'm just hate watching the show at this point. It's like a large-scale prisoner's dilemma, and it baffles me that not one of the PSL lawyers would turn on the other. But I guess they are so loyal (read - stupid) that they aren't worried about their own butts. Instead they will all risk their own lives and careers, as well as the livelihood of all of the others employed by a firm with three criminals for name partners, to protect a jerky guy who is actually guilty. Also, was I the only one (in addition to my husband) who was astounded that everyone said how great Mike was at the trial? It was ridiculous how bad that case was.

Sorry to correct - don't ban me - but I recall it was Meredith's "nana," and not her "mama." On topic? Still don't like Caila. Too blah and too "trying to be like Tenley" for my taste.

Guess it didn't work out for him. Maybe because he comes off as a jerk.

Caila makes me crazy. Sure, she's pretty, but she also seems completely shallow and fake. She was in real fairy princess mode when building the toys: "This is the MOST FUN DAY EVER!" It's like she thinks that, if she acts like Tenley, she'll get to be the next bachelorette. Sorry, sweetie, you are no Tenley and you are way too boring to be the next bachelorette. Also, I agree with the PP who said that JoJo's entire visit was batshit insane. The part where she read the letter and discovered it was from her ex did crack me up, though. Poor girl.

Could they all go to jail, please? Except maybe Donna, because she's ok.

This ep was just bizarre. I kept feeling like I missed something - why did Samantha like Joe again? Why did she stop liking him later that day? Why is Dan such a tool, and was he one all along (probably)? Why is Amber so clueless that she can't choose between Justin and Dan, after Dan told her point blank that he doesn't like her? New girl Chelsea is NOT cute. I liked how Ashley S tried to call Samantha out after the rose ceremony, but all she could say was, "I'm struck by your beauty." Hah! Guess she is hypnotized by her, too.

If you check out Reality Steve, he claims to know who the next bachelor is for certain.

I did like when the producer told Joe that his face didn't look happy, and he responded that "my face never looks happy!" Hah. I less so enjoyed listening to Ashley and Nick failing to understand the dock worker who spoke to them in ENGLISH. Super awkward.

Actually, Tenley is three years younger.