FrancescaFiore

Christian is CLEARLY an alcoholic. Being cut off while on a flight isn't "a funny story," it's a red fucking flag. I also got the distinct impression that the girls he sat with and started chatting up on the plane are who told the flight attendant to cut Christian off. I bet they were just trying to be polite and he took that as a green light to keep bothering them. Just like the group of people at the bar that he engaged by saying, "Are you guys celebrating something?" like he was their waiter trying to upsell some top shelf booze to the table. On the flip side, I get the impression Cleo uses her autism as an excuse to try to get out of situations she's unhappy in, like at that bar. It was obvious she was pissed that Christian was paying more attention to the table behind them than he was to her, so she decided her autism was flaring up and she needed them to leave. Christian seems aware that his alcohol consumption is alarming to people; he tried to diffuse it by saying he was just going to "go to town" on his drink, so as to prevent Cleo from being horrified, but all that did was draw attention to the fact that he was going to start chugging his cocktail. How is it possible that Meisha & Nicola have been talking for 7 years, but never brought up 99% of what they're arguing about now? It seems inconceivable that she never once mentioned that she drinks or smokes her supposed one annual cigarette. And his prudish dud side must've surfaced before - how are these new issues? What was the point of including Waldorf's travel diarrhea in the narrative? And then she just casually mentions that the doctor told her she has a parasite?? That seems like there's a story behind it. And that story is very likely more interesting than watching Dempsey and Waldorf giggle goofily at each other. Actually, now that I think of it, I'd probably prefer to see the story of how Muppetname and her parasite got together.

She also says "Valentime's Day." Please kill me now.

Damnit, I only watched last night because I wanted to see the supposed clairvoyant who met her beau via a dream. I want to know more details about this dream and how it translated to her finding this dude IRL, but was denied and only shown far less interesting couples. Brandon and Mary are a whole mess. Neither one of them are mature enough to be in a relationship and she's already showing signs of being insanely manipulative. I wonder if she also takes dumps in front of the camera for him, but I'm guessing she doesn't. She turns her router off so she can go hang out with her male friends without him knowing, but freaks the fuck out if he interacts with any female, including his mom, sister and random cashiers and shop girls. The double standard is a real red flag. Kenny and Armando are lovely and shouldn't still be on this garbage show about shitshow relationships. It feels like they just wanted the paycheck and are letting the producers fabricate the drama between them. It's not entertaining. Also not entertaining but for entirely different reasons, Danielle and Yohan. Why are they on this show instead of on that Last Resort abomination? Those two aren't still trying to work things out and that's been clear since their last tell-all. Okay, sure - watching them argue while dressed as Santa and an elf was a little bit entertaining. But overall, I'm wholly uninterested in another season with these two. I'm in the minority here; I think Julio seems cool. I don't get big poser vibes from him, like I got from Jibri. Julio seems much more chill, but time will tell. The chick with the hair seems unstable. There's something off about her.

I'm not sure how being deaf correlates to using childish euphemisms for genitalia. David surely got the same education as the rest of us in the boy's health/girl's health department. Surely he knows the technical terms 'penis' and 'vagina.' If he's going to talk about those things in that level of detail, he should be able to do so without resorting to toddler-speak. It's a penis, not a banana. Not a tinkledink, or a willyworm or any other such thing. And unless David was systemically infantilized by his parents and every teacher since kindergarten, being deaf has nothing to do with discussing adult topics with a modicum of maturity.

I can't possibly be the only person questioning David's level of intellectual development now that we've seen him refer to "bananas" and "donuts." What sort of adult talks like that? If you're mature enough to be having sex, you're mature enough to talk about it like a goddamn grown-up. I'm now even more disgusted with how David's deafness is being handled/portrayed, because it seems pretty evident that both he and Sheila (she, to a far lesser degree) have some developmental arrest and they're just being exploited horribly by this show. I used to NEED to watch each episode as it aired, to avoid spoilers and be able to snark in real time with all y'all. Now I have to record the episodes so I can FFW through certain couples. Gino and Jasmine would've been fast-forwarded because their story is so tediously one-note. He doesn't wanna fuck the screeching shrew who makes fun of his erectile dysfunction on TV. Lather, rinse, repeat. I still think Riley is rude and came to Vietnam expecting waaaaaay too much from Violet. He seems to have no awareness of her culture and even less interest in respecting it. He's way too far up in her business for a guy who's still only a potential boyfriend. Also expecting too much too soon: Cleo. Let Christian sleep off the jet lag before you jump to conclusions about how he feels. He kissed you at the airport - just let that be enough for the time being. Let the rest unfold organically. Statler? Who names a kid after one of the Muppet Show balcony hecklers? No wonder she's wack. And she somehow finds another person with a surname for a first name! What are the odds?? All I can say is that her story must've ended up a bust because they've introduced her 3/4 of the way into the season as a fill-in for the pitiful Tyray catfish debacle. The camera operators seemed pretty obsessed with getting close-ups of her Hungry Man TV dinners, which I guess is their way of throwing shade, but it did make me laugh. Also, who eats forkfuls of potato and brownie and corn niblets? So nasty.

My understanding is that his dog has now also left him, citing his constant shirtlessness and desperate attempts to sell an old hot dog to any Latina he can find as the reason for their split. The dog is quoted saying, "I may lick my own dirty balloon-knot, but even I can't stomach Scott humping every leg that happens to get near him. Frankly, i's embarrassing." What was Lidia doing at the end of the episode? My best guess was that it was just time for the rapacious swamp hag to return to the sea. Poor, poor Juan. His whole life is about to be nothing but whiny, poorly behaved little boys. Jessica is deaf to reason. "I've been doing this for 9 years, so I know what I'm doing." Um, sorry but no. The result of what she's been doing for the past 9 years is two manipulative, bratty kids running her life. And now they'll be running Juan's life too, until he reaches a breaking point and realizes he could still be bartending on a cruise ship, going to beautiful tropical locales, schtupping pretty passengers and not having to deal with little monster children 24/7. At that point, the choice will be easy for him: bail on Jessica and her kids, see his own son whenever he's in port. For such a supposedly educated woman, April sure is dumb as a box of hair. She proposes "a break" after Valentin made it abundantly clear that they were already OVER. He couldn't have been more direct about why the relationship was ending, either: she wouldn't stop talking about her money. Even as they were having what I suspect is going to be their last-ever conversation, she was still bitching at him about how much money she'd spent going to the DR and trying to get him to apologize for ghosting her after he realized that she's ugly on the inside. She really strikes me as someone who thinks that any guy from a less wealthy country would welcome the opportunity to be purchased as her husband and that not seizing that "opportunity" is ungrateful. She wants a doggy on a leash, not a partner. And oh, boo hoo - she's almost 40 and the vacation dick she got didn't turn out to be a real relationship, so she has to "start all over again." Girl should just be glad she got a little strange while on holiday: that's where the gratitude belongs. Thank god there's still someone who my snooty attitude isn't an immediate dealbreaker for. This season of Love in Paradise yielded exactly zero new couples. And you better believe that if Jessica hadn't trapped Juan with her pregnancy, that couple would be dunzo, too.

Tyray is just sad. Nicola is a 46 year old virgin for a reason. " You are most cute when you are mute?" He wouldn't have been able to get to the end of that sentence without seeing the back of me and hearing the door slam behind me. Does Meisha really think that being religious requires her to be subservient and accepting of that kind of abuse? Gross. Riley is getting bad advice from home, but he's also far too self-assured in his wrongness. Riding Violet for having plans with a school which sounds like it's work related or family related and not being able to see him until later in the day on his second day is not in the least bit in considerate of her. I live in a tourist town and when people come to visit I do what I can to give them as much of my time as I can but my whole life doesn't just stop because they've decided to come visit. And then Riley wasn't even happy when she changed her plans to spend more time with him. He still felt compelled to continue harping on that. I think it's pretty clear that she's not attracted to him. Glad Razvan is finally pushing back. Demanda is rude, manipulative and mean. She refuses to be the girl he kisses in his video and then refuses to let an actress be that girl. Her bullshit manipulative tactic of "your actions will tell me what I need to know," made me so angry. She's completely oblivious to the fact that her own actions should be telling him everything he needs to know and that he should run, not walk away. I can't express how deeply I despise the way that they are showing David and Sheila's story. It's just gross that they don't put any music over their scenes like they do for everybody else so you hear David making the grunting and mouth smacking sounds that deaf people aren't aware they're making. It even seems like they've amplified those things in post-production. They also play this weird like circus music for the intros when they're going into David and Sheila's story, like they are some kind of side show. Watching the show always made me feel bad about myself, but it's beginning to make me feel dirty now, too. They are so exploitative.

Because Gino's disinterest in sex is very Jasmine-specific.

Yes. The hair gets damaged through wear and heat styling etc. It also sheds over time (depending on the kind of extensions they are - sewn-in wefts last longer than microbeads) making the overall hair less voluminous. When I was still getting extensions, I paid about $300 for each package of hair and used about 6 packages. I'm itty-bitty and have a smaller head, so 6 did the trick for me, but it was ridiculously expensive.

I was confused by Cleo's accent. It sounds like a combination of several different European accents mixed in with the speech patterns of someone who was born deaf, but learned to speak. I was pretty horrified by Christian and his band of transphobic hipsters' discussion of Cleo's body parts, though. And Christian is such a chivalrous gentleman that he just let that shit happen with zero pushback! What. A. Putz. Cleo seems super vulnerable and Christian is already steamrolling over her privacy. I don't care how curious they are, Cleo's genitalia and sexual function are nobody's business but her own and her partner's. Mr. Hipster Waxed Mustache reduced Cleo to an object with "titties and a dick," as though her body is the sum total of who she is. People like Cleo need champions in their lives. People who speak up when others try to dehumanize or 'otherize' trans people. Christian is not one of those champions. It's pretty clear that Meisha is going to have to be both wife and mommy to Nicola. She's going to have to teach him how to have sex - I can't imagine anything less sexy. Seems to me that if Jasmine was really not interested in any financial gain from marrying Gino, she'd have no problem signing the prenup as he'd laid it out. Genuinely - it seems like she feels entitled to compensation for being with Gino. Ugh, Amanda just go home already. Nothing pleases you. Dude makes you pancakes, you shit on them. Dude takes you to a beautiful park, you bitch about there being too many birds and question him about it, like it's his fault. Is that what guys are into? Some almost-beautiful girl to be a total bitch to them 24/7? David & Sheila's story has just made me smile a lot so far. I've got no snark for either of them. Yet! I also smile a lot at Riley & Violet, but he's being a tad much. So what if she isn't spending every second with him? Her own life doesn't stop just because he came to visit. I just want him to relax, but that doesn't seem to be a speed he operates on. He gon fuck this up for himself, I can already see it. Especially if/when she finds out about the P.I.

Maaaaaaaaaannnn, was it satisfying to see Valentin having the same realization about April as all of us viewers were having! She clearly expected him to fall to his knees with gratitude for "rescuing him" from the horrors of a toilet that has to be flushed with a bucket. Her entire persona changed and her whole 'soft-voiced, erudite business lady' façade shattered as soon as Valentin wasn't servile. She suddenly dropped the finishing-school-whisper-talk and started speaking more like her sisters speak. I don't care about Lidia or Nicole. I care even less about Scott of the Gigan-teeth and I care to watch him cram his canned ham tongue down the throat of a 30 year old Columbian woman the least of all, TLC! Could Matt and Ana have LESS chemistry? I get strong repressed gaydom from him, and strong I DON'T GIVE A SHIT HOW, I'M GOING TO LIVE IN THE US vibes from her.

I forgot to mention that it seems like Amanda uses her grief selectively to manipulate Razvan and probably everybody else in her life. One minute she's joking and laughing and then the next minute she's trying to put her own guilt trip for being in Romania while her kids remain in America unaware that she's pursuing a new romance, onto him. One minute she's sucking on his neck, and the next minute she's trying to make him feel bad for wanting to move forward with his relationship with a recent widow. When he said he would come to the US her reaction spoke volumes. She doesn't want him in the US. She wants to go to Romania and have a fling with somebody she's telling herself she's in love with, but she's really only just attracted to. She tries to make him feel like he's not putting her kids first but she is. He's not the one who left his kids back home to pursue a new romance without telling them first. That's all on her and she projects it on to him. I really don't like her.

Meisha is a real cuckoobird & even her sister sees it. Violet is kinda awesome. Super independent, sassy, cute as a button. It makes me physically uncomfortable to watch Jasmine and Gino's scenes. They are both just so cringe. I think a lot of times her crazy is so much louder and more obvious than his, but he's an absolute nutter as well. He needs the right equipment to cook? Bitch, please. Amanda is the rudest guest I have ever seen. You're taking too long with my coffee. You didn't make room for my cosmetics on your bathroom counter. I'm going to make fun of you for putting a box of tissues by your bed. She's just a jerk. And the reason that her kid busted out with my daddy died is because it's all he ever hears his mommy talk about. It's as simple as that.

A lil makeup goes a looooooooooonnnng way!

<Paul Reiser voice> I think we're aaaaallll saying