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Theo's pack was really confusing. I kept saying to myself, "who was that? oh yeah, kanima-esque girl who killed her dad or something". I couldn't remember who the guy in the hospital was that she poisoned. Does Theo just have 3 minions now: kanima-girl, electro-guy and invisiboy? I got a genuine laugh out of the scene at Malia's house. "You can torture me all you want, I'll never talk!" "How about $10k?" "Oh, okay then." I enjoyed the call backs to previous seasons, with ghost-banshee and Gerard. Those were nice surprises, but we already know how the banshee lessons will turn out because this is all preceding the season opener scene where Lydia tries and fails to escape.

I don't know if it was Keegan Allen's typical bad acting, but Toby seemed drunk when he was talking to Emily. I noticed quite a few set-ups for plotlines that will be irrelevant to the mystery (i.e., filler to pad out the season): 1. Toby the heavy drinker 2. Emily is working at a sea-side bar instead of the Salk Institute, and evidently taking pills. I thought I also saw a packet of needles when her purse dumped out at Hanna's suite. 3. Hanna still has the feelz for Caleb. When he left the hotel room, she immediately looked at that giant rock on her finger. Not subtle, though I guess I should give the director credit for not zooming the camera in. 4. Caleb and Spencer have something going on. 5. Broody Ezra brooding about his missing and semi-dead girlfriend broodily. (This set up Aria yet again to be in her own show separate from the other PLLs). I thought of a nice twist that they'll never do: Toby is building a house for someone unnamed, and he's still in contact with Caleb. It'd be great if they were a couple. That was enjoyable (though I kept getting distracted by the cocktail glass she was holding because it looked weird). The problem is, Spencer is supposed to be a recovering addict. We had that story line, repeatedly. Are we in for another round of that, or are they just going to brush her previous substance abuse under the rug and give that story (filler) to Emily?

I too am glad Charlotte is dead. For once, the PLLs are legit suspects in her murder rather then being drugged and framed and manipulated into it. I liked Aria's story to the judge, but the whole time I was thinking "of all the four of them to break ranks, why her? She was the least victimized of all of them." God help me, I thought scruffy-beared Ian Harding was hot. Then he started talking and that passed.

So I rewatched that scene on the Blu-Ray, and she definitely has a similar off-putting look on her face when she watches Viserys's coronation. Interesting bit from the commentary track (Emilia Clarke, Harry Lloyd, Peter Dinklage and the director commentating): Clarke says her thoughts were that as soon as Viserys put a sword to Dany's stomach and threatened the life of her unborn child, she was done with him, and that informed how she played the scene. That's the attitude I saw on her initial reaction when Drogo's minions grabbed Viserys. She moved past "justifiable homicide" and into "morbid fascination" crazy-pants territory when Jorah suggested that she look away, and she basically said "no, I want to see this."

Me too. They're kind of the Hightowersor Redwynes of the North. Not the actual lead family in the area, but very wealthy and not afraid to use it.

That's one of my favorite chapters in the book. However, my "how, exactly?" alarm goes off at Wex's story. He followed Osha and Rickon, and stayed downwind so Shaggydog wouldn't smell him. Okay, I can buy that. But he followed them from Winterfell all the way to the east coast? That's quite a little journey. And how did he know they went to Skaagos, an off-shore island? Did he overhear Osha booking passage, or discussing it with Rickon? Regarding the Mad Queen stuff, season 5 spoiler:

Nice parallel with [mumble] Frey putting Edmure Tully up on the scaffold every day... then taking him down again at night. Rhaegar seems to have been obsessed with the Prince That Was Promised prophecy, e.g., that story about how he was a little bookworm until he read something that told him he had to be a knight. Based on the HoTU vision, some fans have theorized that Elia believed it too, and willingly went along with Rhaegar's plan to take a second wife in order to get that third kid. I can sort of buy that since Elia was married to the dude for years and could have been convinced (or brainwashed) into sharing his fanaticism. Some take the theory further, and say that Lyanna was also a true-believer in the PtwP prophecy. I find that a bit of a stretch, since she was a Northerner and didn't really know Rhaegar when she was taken. Maybe she went all Patty Hearst after months of captivity in the (ironically named) Tower of Joy.

You've reached one of the points that made me think "this needs a better editor." Both Quentin and Tyrion/Jorah had a long fucking "no one will take us east to Meereen" saga, and I found it incredibly repetitive. (Not based on anything but my own fear, so I'm not spoiler tagging it): I'm concerned that we'll get ANOTHER chapter in TWOW of the same shit with Archmaester Marwyn when he gets to Volantis and HE can't find a ship to take him to Dany. One thing I found weird about that chapter was Jorah's interactions with Tyrion. Jorah has him trussed up, then shackled... but he's quite willing to exposit for his prisoner. He translates Bennero's preaching, tells him about the slaves being punished on the Long Bridge, and goes on at length explaining how politics work in Volantis. It just seemed weird that he'd provide all this information to his cargo. I actually enjoyed learning all this stuff, especially Bennero's speech and Tyrion's "yeah, trying to use the Red Priests to support Aegon is a very bad idea" reaction. It just seemed OOC for Mormont to go all Jorah-the-Explorer. I liked the scene with the Golden Company. They seem like a decent bunch of folks, and not at all like some of the previous sell-swords we've seen, e.g., the Brave Companions. I struggle with finding a historical parallel. Hessian mercenaries that fought in the American Revolution maybe? I dunno. He's the very definition of "friend-zoned".

You might get a chuckle out of this -- there's a crackpot theory that Roose Bolton is an Other in disguise. I have no idea how that works. It's right up there with "so-and-so is actually a Time Lord" theories.

It parallel's the situation during the lead up to the Battle of the Blackwater, when Cercei sent Tommen away disguised as a page. The difference is that Aerys was intentionally keeping Elia and the kids close as hostages for Dorne's continued loyalty. He might have noticed if Elia disappeared or no longer had the kids with her. The timing of the alleged baby swap isn't spelled out, but I think it could have happened like this: 1. News of the events at the Trident reach King's Landing 2. Varys devises the plan, finds the Pisswater Prince 3. Varys goes to Elia. "Rhaegar is dead, so Aegon is the heir to the throne. The Rebels are headed this way and will probably take King's Landing. Even if they don't, Aerys blames your uncle for the loss at the Trident and might take it out on your son because he's nutso. If we swap him out with this look-alike baby, I can smuggle him to safety." Elia agrees. It's a little more plausible if Elia was complicit in the swap. I still think it's a cover story made up after the fact to hide Young Griff's true lineage, but that's just my own speculation.

Since he's the master of disguise (except Shae can see right though it) I just assumed his stubble was makeup, though it could be evidence that he wasn't castrated. Show!Varys is a confirmed eunuch, since Ros felt him up. "Nothing dangerous down there." I thought that was in the show, including Gregor correcting the order of events. I'd rewatch to confirm but I get the willies watching Oberyn's head asplode.

That's my take on it too. Varys seems like too good a player to put all his Aegons in one basket. Yes, I feel shame for that pun. Tyrion doesn't buy Illyrio's stated motives for helping Young Griff. Granted, that's partially his channeling Tywin's contempt for merchant princes (they fight with coin, wars are won with steel, etc.), but I also took that as GRRM telling the reader "Tyrion is suspicious... you should be too." Its one of the reasons I think Aegon is Illyrio's son; otherwise, Illyrio wouldn't have any more motivation to help a Blackfyre pretender than he would a Targaryen true heir. In story, I wonder how they sold this to Jon Connington. "So I swapped out Aegon with a fake baby and I need you to raise him as your own for a while as Illyrio and I work out how to get him on the throne. Stop laughing." Maybe JonCon was so distraught after hearing about Rhaegar's death and subsequent events that he bought it at first, but he's had 15 years or so to think about how implausible Varys's story was.

I'm not sure I agree that Illyrio would know that the Dothraki wouldn't fare well in Westeros. He's from Pentos, and the only fighting against Dothriaki that he knows of was conducted by: a) Sell-swords b) Slave armies c) The 3000 of Qohor. Sell-swords are technologically equivalent to Westerosi knights with armor and horse etc., but they're reliably unreliable. Slave armies are poorly trained and apt to collapse under attack (e.g., The Yunkish slave army Dany ran into after Astapor). From Illyrio's perspective, only the highly trained and disciplined Unsullied withstood them; otherwise the Dothraki are unstoppable unless you buy them off. He may have sincerely believed they would be effective in Westeros.

Book 5: Continuing my rant about the Sorrows: I don't understand it in context either. Assuming Yandry was correct and "Mother Rhoyne runs how she will" is true, is that supposed to imply that some divine personification of the river actually wanted them to be attacked by Stone Men, and since they missed the first opportunity, she rerouted the boat to make a second pass? Why, because she's malicious?

"The Night's Watch takes no part in the affairs of the Seven Kingdoms..." except here's a glaring example of Jon doing just that, and you can tell he's struggling with it. He feeds and clothes Stannis's troops, but he rationalizes that as the right thing to do since Stannis helped against the wildlings, and besides he has more troops and could just take the food anyway. He's advising Stannis, but he justifies it by telling himself "words are not swords". Then he gives Stannis guides to show him how to reach the Mountain Clans. Yeah, Jon, you just torched your oath. Season 5: I got a Lambert Simnel / Perkin Warbeck vibe as soon as I read that chapter. I share ImpinAintEasy's opinion that Aegon is actually the son of Illyrio Mopatis and Serra Blackfyre. More than once in the text GRRM made the point that the Blackfyres were "extinguished in the male line." That's a little too Chekov's Paternity Test for me to ignore. One thing I really disliked about the Sorrows was the second trip under the bridge nonsense. Haldon: "We've left the bridge behind. Rivers only runone way." Yandry: "Mother Rhoyne runs how she will". Yeah, bullshit. It's contrived purely because the plot says so. This is where an editor should have told GRRM "Yeah, George? This sounds unnecessarily mystical and stupid. If you need them to get attacked by Stone Men, just make it a second group that jumps off a building they pass by or something."

Little detail you might not have noticed (but your brain did) (sorry, Mr. Plinkett reference there): Xaro tells Dany that shortly after she left Qarth, Pyat Pree and three other warlocks took ship headed to Pentos to hunt her down. Flash back to AFFC, Euron talking to Victarion while setting up his next assignment for the Iron Fleet: Euron offered Vic some shade-of-the-evening wine, telling him that he took it off a ship from Qarth, along with four warlocks. The warlocks weren't cooperative, so he fried one of them up and made the other three eat him. So either Pyat Pree is working for Euron now, or he's been eaten.

Another thing I liked with that particular Tyrion chapter is that he's a huge reader and a student of history, and here he's getting to experience some of that up close and personal, seeing Nymeria's palace in the flesh. He wanted to do this kind of touring when he was younger, but Tywin wouldn't let him.

Flash back to AFFC, the Queenmaker chapter, when Arianne's buddy Garin explains that the Old Man of the River is a minor god for the Rhoynar. I don't know why, but the fact that there actually is a huge turtle (or more than one most likely) that this legend is based on tickled me for some reason.

Okay, I feel a little Reekish because I didn't connect the dots either, but that's a good explanation. I had just assumed that it was a story that got distorted with the retelling, kind of like how Sansa killed Joffrey then turned into a wolf with wings and flew off, or how Brienne fought the bear naked. Colorful but false details that got added to the story to make it more lurid. Regarding Quaithe's cryptic comments: I don't think it's a prophecy either. She says the glass candles are burning, then rattles off a list of people she's seen that are currently on their way to Meereen. She just dresses it up in flowery language rather than being clear. One part that bugs me is when she says "remember the Undying". Dany interprets this as "remember what the Undying told you" and associates it with the three betrayals foretelling, but I think she's misconstruing it. I mean, how would Quaithe know what the Undying told Dany? I think "Remember the Undying" goes with the preceding "Trust none of them". Q is actually saying "Trust no one. Remember how you trusted the Undying? They promised you answers when really they just wanted to eat you."

One of the only things in that chapter that had me liking Dany was her "oh fuck this, stop with the cryptic comments and talk plainly already" reaction. Dany was channeling, well, me at that point. Otherwise, this is where Dany starts sliding into my "unlikeable" zone, especially her pining over Daario. In the show, she's fond of him and enjoys using him for sex, but she says flat out to Jorah "I could never trust a man like him", so she knows what he is. In the books, she might as well be writing "Dany + Daario = Troo LUV" in the margins of her algebra book. The excuse is "well, she IS still just a teenager" but I don't buy it. After all she's been through since marrying Drogo, getting all hormonal over this fop seems like character regression. That first Reek chapter is pretty hard reading, but as someone stated above, at least the torture occurred off-page. I think the show-runners' rationale behind showing so much of it in season 3 was that they didn't want Alfie Allen to be off-screen for the bulk of the season (Isaac Hempstead Wright could not be reached for comment). In the DVD commentaries for one of the torture-porn episodes, the writer (or possibly director, I don't remember which) said she actually asked D&D "could we maybe NOT torture Theon so much?" and they said no.

Didn't mean to spark a flurry of spoiler bars. I'd suggest we postpone that discussion until later.

Regarding the difference between Show!Jon and Book!Jon's actions around Mance's death, part of it is the show's limited cast. After the S04.09 Battle of the Wall, the Night's Watch is reduced to 50ish people. In the book, it's closer to 500, so Jon actually has men he can command instead of having to DIY everything. Yeah, Jon knows the risks are really high, but he's thinking big picture, that the threat from the Other's is much worse. I do find it a little frustrating that despite his arguments, he's unable to convince the senior NW guys like Marsh. I understand Marsh's perspective, based on his experience the Wildlings are the enemy, and in normal times Jon would agree, but these aren't normal times. Their willful blindness, despite the first-person accounts from the survivors of the Fist of the First Men, just grates. Season 5:

"Not wrong" can mean "you have a valid opinion but I still disagree with you." Jon thinks it about his sworn brothers' concerns for allying with the wildlings. They're not wrong about the dangers, he just thinks the danger from the Others outweighs the possibility that the wildlings will turn on the NW. Yeah, no to the bolded part. Stannis is the one who thinks he is king simply because he's next in line. Renley is the one who thinks merit ("I'll be a better king than Stannis") outweighs birthright. Whether he actually would be a better king is a different issue.

Regarding Coldhands = Benjen theory, one of the counter-arguments is from the text itself. Bran's first chapter: Coldhands (and the raven) have black eyes. I can't remember off the top of my head (and I don't feel like searching GoT) but Benjen most likely had grey eyes like Ned. That's not exactly definitive, since it could have just been a trick of the light that made his eyes look black to Bran. Book 5 spoiler: I like that group of people, and Ser Rolly's "...don't laugh, now" had me chuckling. And I would have loved to see what was in that letter from Illyrio. Book 5 spoiler:

One more on the "goes through my head like a nail" list: leal. "What does 'leal" mean?" Siri: "It means loyal" "Why doesn't he just use 'loyal' then?" Siri: "I don't know. It's GRRM. Just accept that he does this crap and move on."