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divsc

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    Fact vs. Fiction: The Podcast and the Real People

    in Dirty John

    · Edited by divsc

    A passage from Bella Stumbo's book:

    On the Oprah show, taped live by remote control from Colinas, she (Betty) presented herself as a symbol "for all women who need to be scared … who have been debased by the system."

    But she didn't mean it. Despite her public pronouncements, Betty never really saw herself as a symbol of any other woman's plight. "Nobody has been through what I’ve been through," she said repeatedly from Colinas. In her mind, her case was always unique, larger than life. More money, more power lined up against her. More abuse than any average woman could know—because nobody else had been up against Dan Broderick. Nobody else faced an enemy so ruthless, so brilliant.

    "The whole legal system is based on who can lie faster, sooner, quicker, bigger … on who's cheating who better," she once remarked. "Lawyers are professional fighters—it's the acceptable social arena to beat the living shit out of the other side—and nobody was better at it than Dan Broderick. He could convince a jury that black was white. I was up against a master, and once he left me, I was just another case to him, another opponent for him to destroy." At bottom, it was always there—Betty Broderick's undying personal pride in the legal genius of the man she had married and killed.

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    Fact vs. Fiction: The Podcast and the Real People

    in Dirty John

    · Edited by divsc

    9 hours ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

    It's weird to me how she always refers to him as "Dan Broderick" - I mean, you're Betty Broderick, everyone knows which Dan you're talking about. To me, always calling him by his first and last name showed the unhealthy amount of importance she assigned to him.

    It's like she was still bragging about having been married to him. She put him on this weird pedestal where there is almost this perverse pride that SHE had been married to the smartest, sharpest, most callous, strategic, brilliant legal minded shark ever! And that this was no ordinary divorce or case. There was something in the Stumbo book about Betty going to meetings for divorced women (maybe?) but she quickly grew tired of it, because she just couldn't relate to these other pedestrian women or their plebeian divorce cases, because HER divorce was so much meaner, bigger, more assets, she was getting more screwed, deserved more money, because SHE was up against THE GREAT DAN BRODERICK while they were up against just regular assholes and mere mortals.

    In a sick way, she was almost proud she had been the wife of such a rising star, skilled at playing the legal game. That's my take anyway.

    Regarding the boyfriend, there's a part in the book where Betty does give the condo to him. I can't remember the reason why, but I want to say it was basically to protect her assets so it couldn't be sold or seized or used to pay for bills, or something like that. (Don't quote me on that, but it's something like that.) Then yea, she gets mad when he wants to sell it, but she had given it to him!

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    S02.E07: The Shillelagh

    in Dirty John

    2 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

    Wonder why Linda didn't have the wedding list on a computer instead of on a piece of paper?
     
    Sad to see how Betty was slowly disintegrating until she finally broke.

    The most sad to me was how the kids were used by both Betty and Dan as weapons.

    Well according to Betty and Dan's other secretaries, Linda couldn't type, remember?!! 

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    S02.E07: The Shillelagh

    in Dirty John

    9 hours ago, CynicalGirl said:

    I absolutely agree. She's been up for parole 3 times and has never shown remorse. She still feels she was the victim and they got what they deserved.  She's 72 now and has been in prison around 30 years. Anyone who wanted to get out would at least feign remorse but I agree she's content and probably sleeps just fine. Her next parole date is 2032 so I think it's more likely she will die in prison.

    Agreed. Betty is just not sorry. It was totally worth it to her to kill them and spend the rest of her life in prison than to stomach Linda living the life that was supposed to be hers and watching Dan go on with his life after leaving her. But man, you would think after a certain point, she would at least try to fake some remorse and say the right things to get out of prison. They are dead, it's over, she could have still had many years left in the outside world with her family and grandchildren. I don't think she's capable of being able to even *feign* remorse. If you watch her speak on her case in real life at all, she can never contain herself. The anger and rage and justifying and blame starts spewing out like this all just happened last week. And apparently she must not mind prison life all that much. She really doesn't play any kind of game or strategy just for the sake of getting her own freedom back. She's got some chip missing. 

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    S02.E06: The Twelfth of Never

    in Dirty John

    16 hours ago, cardigirl said:

    Well, that, again, was really sad and hard to watch. For anyone who thinks it was exaggerated or too over the top, men and women have been powerplaying it to each other like that for a long time.  Generally, women lose. Although, men will say that in cases of custody, the women almost always win, so Dan must have really had some high level strings to pull to get it to the point he did with Betty.  I mean, she didn't help herself any with all of the shenanigans she pulled and all of the coarse talk she exposed those kids to, but that judge really was not on her side at all.  And that rumor at the end, about being a child molester?  Parents do that to each other all the time, in an effort to get custory of their children, wrest a better settlement, and ruin the other person's life. Just awful. 

    It was a vicious circle for Betty.  One lawyer doesn't perform for her the way she thinks it will go, and she doesn't trust any lawyers. She was hopelessly outmatched in court. But she wasn't wrong in that Dan was not playing fair.  The fact that her file was not on record at the courthouse?  Wow. 

    I wonder if that comment Linda made about Betty's china was really true, or if the show was trying to make her less sympathetic. 

    I guess this story still has legs because Betty got let down by the family court, her family, herself, and Dan was such a meglomaniac. 

    Murder is never the answer.  I wonder if Betty would have ever been able to get some sort of legal retribution. 

     

    In Stumbo's book, Linda not giving Betty her wedding china back was a topic that came up more than once.

    11 hours ago, poeticlicensed said:

    I want to know if the child molester accusation actually happened. 

    I don't think an "accusation" actually happened, but I think it was an actual "rumor" that got bounced around their social circle as a possible "reason" why the court proceedings were closed and why Betty didn't have custody of her kids, which was very, very unusual for a mother, particularly in that day and age.  So I think pure speculation, whispers started, then the social set gossiped, and eventually one of her good friends told her that's what "people" were saying around town and their social club and Betty was horrified, mortified, and really upset.

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    S02.E06: The Twelfth of Never

    in Dirty John

    Yes, that's the thing - Betty not only didn't ask for custody, she openly rejected it UNLESS she got the settlement she wanted first. Even her lawyers were begging her to shut up, cooperate, behave, and GO AFTER custody, because they knew that, strategically, Betty would have a better chance of getting a favorable settlement and be looked at with more sympathy if she had custody of the children. And mothers typically are given custody, especially in those days. The lawyers knew that. They wanted to go after that angle. They told her to focus on getting the kids. That was the one thing in Betty's control. Yea, it's a shame that children can be used as pawns in a legal battle, but the lawyers were trying to put her in a good position to both get custody and that it would also help her get the legal settlement - and alimony/child support that she wanted. Betty refused to listen and kept firing quality lawyers. She wanted it the way she wanted it - apparently the satisfaction of Dan having to write her a big check. She didn't want to be "a single mother" if she didn't get the big money to do it.

    And I think a part of her also wanted to keep making Dan's life miserable - by using his own children against him. That they would feel like a nuisance and a burden to him - that it was hard work, not fun, and also would get in the way of Dan and Linda romantic time and starting a family of their own. Like let's see how much fun it is for him with 4 demanding children in his way. Except Dan simply hired help and didn't really care. Most mothers would do anything to have their children with them. Betty seemed more intent on weaponizing her own kids to make Dan's life more miserable.

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    S02.E05: Scream Therapy

    in Dirty John

    11 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

    I'm the same way. I can still still you my seventh grade boyfriend's phone number (which is useless since he and his parents no longer live in that house) but I can't remember where I put my keys when I got home!

    No worries! I can't tell you how many times I've stopped behind a car with vanity plates while at a red light and could not figure out what it was supposed to mean (only to spend the rest of the day trying to decipher it).

    I saw a license plate on a car a few years ago that seriously said: "MISTRESS" 

    It was like...well that's....quite bold....

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    S02.E05: Scream Therapy

    in Dirty John

    8 hours ago, geauxaway said:

    I’m finally getting around to watching this episode (been a long and busy week).

    Betty really has a license plate that said LOADEMUP?   I mean, it had to have been real there is no other reason they would have included that detail.  
     

    Why was Betty only getting the boys for Easter?  Why were they divided up?

    She really did... a Chevy Suburban with license plates that read LODEMUP

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    S02.E05: Scream Therapy

    in Dirty John

    Even though kids should never be used as pawns, every one of Betty's attorneys was trying to tell her to play the game, "behave," get custody of the kids, mothers almost always got custody if she would just cooperate, and then if she had the kids, she would get child support and a much more favorable settlement. 

    She just kept being stubborn and doubling down. She also couldn't seem to let go of her plan that Dan would find being a father on his own annoying and come back home to her. She was in denial and delusional. 

    She claims Dan was screwing her over with money but also that it wasn't about money. If it was all about the money, she would have listened to one of her high priced attorneys and gotten custody and gotten a nice big settlement. 

    She really could not even stop herself from engaging with him. It's like Dan moved on, he wasn't trying to save the marriage or figure things out, and she was left with no recourse but to harass, scream, vandalize, and do things to get a reaction out of him. It was the only way she could get him to engage with her, even if it was in a negative way. Some attention was better than no attention. I think she had major personality disorders long before this divorce or Dan's affair. This may have accelerated it, and the rage is understandable - maybe breaking a dish or two, but for a pretty smart lady, she was not playing with a full deck.

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    S02.E05: Scream Therapy

    in Dirty John

    I think the younger daughter had a lot of issues with drugs etc. It's in Stumbo's book. She would disappear for weeks, etc. I think dropped out of school at one point. I can't remember all the details, don't have the book in front of me, but I think there were some issues beyond her wanting to live with Betty. I don't think she wanted to live with Betty either. It's not hard to see how both mom and dad's total dysfunction impacted her.

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    S02.E05: Scream Therapy

    in Dirty John

    Reminds me of when Michael Strahan got divorced - he had to pay something like $180,000 a month in child support, including $27,000 on clothing, because his ex said their toddler twin daughters "love accessories." 

    I guess when you get accustomed to a standard of living, you feel entitled to continuing to live that way, even if it seems ridiculous and absurd in the big picture,

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    S02.E05: Scream Therapy

    in Dirty John

    Yes, one issue was that they had a bifurcated divorce - meaning they were legally no longer married and Dan was free to remarry - but the financial settlement, especially when there are multiple properties and assets involved, could be worked out later. It's a nightmare.

    But it sounds like during that time, there was no court ordered mandate, so Dan had control over how much he was going to give Betty, what he would pay for, what he would fine her - and this went on for years. They probably would have been better off if a settlement was finalized, even an unfavorable one, and moving forward, than having all these toxic personalities legally entwined for several more years with no resolution, and just needling each other.

    My husband's first marriage ended with a bifurcated divorce - in a community property state. Except his ex was the one who was making more money than he did at the time. She left him, they legally divorced, I met him a few years later, we got married -- but It took SEVEN years after his divorce before the financial part was FINALLY settled - through mediation. (A few hours before the trial was set to start.) It was nothing close to level of this case and no one ended up murdered, but his ex was on her fifth lawyer by the time this thing ended which is usually a sign that someone is being contentious and unreasonable more out of spite than even acting in their own best interest.

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    S02.E05: Scream Therapy

    in Dirty John

    Regarding Betty's language, there is a part in Bella Stumbo's book where a psychologist was testifying about how Betty's increasingly crass and vulgar language showed insight into how her mental health was spiraling downhill.

    The psychologist DiFrancesca, who specialized in forensic questions for the San Diego mental health division, said that Betty also suffered from severe depression.

    The end of her marriage, and the loss of her core identity as Dan Broderick's wife and mother of his children, brought about a total breakdown as the years progressed and the stress progressed.

    She felt devalued, DiFrancesca said. Woman in Betty's situation are "rageful." They are devaluing everything around them. Even the obscene messages were a symptom. They are "so explosive," she said, the language "really shows how out of control she was." The stress she was under, DiFrancesca explained, caused Betty to lose the "executive function to control emotions."

    (page 210)

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    Fact vs. Fiction: The Podcast and the Real People

    in Dirty John

    On 6/18/2020 at 1:25 PM, geauxaway said:

    I think this is the correct place to put this.  I’ve seen the Lifetime Betty movies but it’s been a good 20 years.  Was Linda pregnant at the time of the murder?  

    In Bella Stumbo's book, she describes the bedroom setting at the time of the murders and writes, "In the bathroom was the Big O calendar. Ovulation time. They were going to have a new family. He was trying hard to impregnate her. She was trying even harder to get him to."

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