Cloud9Shopper

I think the problem for me is that it’s hard not to see rejection as a measure of what I’m worth or deserve in terms of a job. I feel like the good candidates can get hired easily, and my struggles = I’m not a very strong or desirable candidate if I make it to multiple final rounds, or even reference checks, and still don’t come out on top. (I’ve confirmed that I have good references, or so my references claim they have positive conversations with hiring managers.) This is the first time in my career I’ve been through things like having my references called without an offer on the table. I’ve also never been through such grueling and stressful interview processes where you need to meet half a department to get hired. (Before this market, I did once work at a law firm where I was informally introduced to some staff during my interview but those staffers didn’t sit in for the interview or others or have a say in my hiring.) I feel like if I were a truly worthy and strong candidate someone would have made me an offer by now. I guess that’s why I can’t shake it.

I appreciate the kind words. But I just want to be like my friends and some of my family. I want to have a comfortable salary, great career with a nice title, own a home, just want to feel like I’m on a trajectory I’m proud of. My friends don’t have to work second jobs at grocery stores for extra money. They have plenty. I mostly just want to feel as if I’m on their level, and I’m sick of having to work some weekends and second shift and being in a role with limited flexibility. I’m really scared this isn’t going to get better. I have tried to be positive for so long and believe I’m employable and someone else will hire me, but now that I’m experiencing silence/not getting interviews and keep hearing “we picked somebody else” with no feedback as to why (I went through four rounds of interviews with a job, and when I asked for feedback the recruiter didn’t respond) or because “well we really liked you but we went in another direction.”… there’s only so many times I can take being kicked down and rejected, and now I’m slowly losing hope and optimism. I want to be the chosen and celebrated one for a change that’s all.

Feeling jealous of an old coworker today. He got a great new job because someone he knows sent him a random text and told him about the job opening, and he was introduced to the team and had an offer within a couple of days. I’m just jealous because this kind of thing doesn’t happen to me. No one reaches out to me to say they are thinking of me and heard about a great opening and can get me fast tracked through with an offer in days. And honestly? It just goes to show that working hard doesn’t matter anymore. Only who you know makes a difference. I guess I’m just not supposed to have a better job or don’t deserve one because I don’t have any friends who just randomly hook me up with a job and give me a lucky break. Maybe I should just give up on the job search. Today is my birthday and yet again I’m depressed about my career and lack of success in life while others are doing incredibly and getting everything handed to them. I don’t even want to try anymore. Applying doesn’t work like it used to, apparently. I’m still in this stupid call center job while others are thriving and I can barely get a call back. I’m on yet another version of my resume hoping for success but without connections I’m not counting on it. Oh and I’ll be 40 next year which will make me completely unhireable. I can’t wait! /s Originally (like a few months ago) I promised myself if I didn’t have an offer by the end of this month, which makes a year and a half since my layoff, I’d change fields. I’m at the point now where I don’t even see what that will do…I tie my worth to my job and I feel worthless and like trash saying I’m a customer service rep compared to my friends with better titles and careers.

Well I have an issue with my part time job now possibly interfering with my full time job. I wasn’t expecting this, but here we are. I called my boss at the grocery store today because I wanted to clarify something on my schedule for this week. I misread and thought she had me on at a time when I told her I wasn’t available. She said she didn’t (OK fine; I apologized as such for misunderstanding) but then said oh she forgot to tell me but all new employees have to go to this once monthly (or maybe quarterly? I can’t remember how often she said it is) orientation at corporate headquarters for new employees just to go over company policies, etc. OK, again fine, but she wants me to go up Friday morning! She knows I work full time but I guess that’s when corporate is having the next orientation. I did explain to her you know I work and that I may not even be able to get Friday off my full time job. I’m so discouraged now. I know my boss doesn’t make this rule or set this schedule but like…what about the job that pays the vast majority of my income? For some reason too the corporate grocery HQ holds orientation on Fridays in the summer and Saturdays in the fall? Yeah I don’t get it either. I really don’t think I would have taken this job if I’d known they would schedule me for a weekday morning mandatory orientation and expect me to take time off from my regular job. I appreciate the extra money but come on! I don’t think it’s fair to push me into taking time off from my regular job to do this. (My friend was telling me how she had a similar situation with a part time job in the past too…they’d want her to show up for shifts that would require her leaving her full time job early to do so.)

Yes that’s it. She wants to take me shopping to buy me things. I know she means well and enjoys the time together, but I’m just getting to a point where I’d rather do to my house what I see fit (and within the bounds of what my landlord would allow) and not have to worry about what everyone else thinks I need or should have. Sometimes I feel as if some members of my family never stopped seeing me as a child. (My grandmother also seems to not get why I want to quit my job because “you’re so good on the phone!” I try to explain to her that talking to her is much different than speaking with someone who may be screaming and/or crying on the other end, and you may get multiple calls like that per day.) It’s just a boundary thing, that’s all. I just want the respect for my choices and tastes that my other sisters get.

I’m at a weird point with my grandmother where I appreciate how she tries to do nice things for me and am acknowledging she’s in her 90s and who knows how much time she has left so enjoy what I have now…and wishing she’d stop meddling in the way I want to keep my house. She has only seen it once but continues to be insistent on asking me if I need anything (I’ve been on my own for almost five years now; I don’t need really basic stuff like towels and pots and pans anymore, and if I do decide to get new stuff I want to pick it myself) and being like…oddly put off that I have a big china cabinet (it’s not mine; it was here when I moved in) and nothing is in it. I have no interest in entertaining people or having fine china or anything like that. I think that’s OK, as not everyone is an entertainer and I don’t want to host big 20 people gatherings the way my aunt does. But my grandmother cannot let this go that I have an empty cabinet and is insisting I “need” something in it and keeps asking me what else I want for the house. I feel guilty about possibly hurting her feelings and telling her you know, I don’t need much else why don’t you get me money/a gift card instead and if something comes up I’ll go pick it out. Or saying hey I don’t really mind that I don’t have china I have no use for it. But at the same time…I wish she would just back off a bit. She has lovely intentions but I’m almost 40 and I really don’t want my family constantly interfering and making suggestions about how I should decorate and the way I choose to keep my house. They’re not even coming over that often, if at all; so I don’t see why they care what’s in the cabinets or keep insisting on buying me things.

I’ll be 39 this weekend and this conversation is making me a mixture of both optimistic and terrified lol.

A cross between work and pet peeves at my grocery store job. -People who show up at 10 minutes to my line closing with two carts full of stuff and then do nothing to help me bag while they stand there and talk about how much it’s going to be. I’m pretty sure these same people did this last week too. They bought almost 100 items! -My store closes at 9 so my register line closes at 8:50. Tonight it was 8:55, I pulled my drawer and the light was out and I was cleaning down the register. Someone comes over and goes “are you open?” Well Janet I don’t know. Take your best guess here! After they gave me the clearance to turn my light off and I did, people kept coming over! (Our rule is that you take anyone who was in your line when the light turned off but no one after that.) I told the closing manager I hated turning so many people away after the light was off but that I’d never get out of there otherwise. Fortunately she agreed with me and there was no trouble. I’m glad that I work somewhere where they do respect my time and are good at about getting me out the door on schedule…I’d be gone if it were one of those places where they make you stay forever even after closing. (Anyone who is checking out in the last 10 minutes of business has to go to self checkout.)

I think HBO Max will be my next subscription. I’ve always wanted to see The West Wing!

Thanks. It’s not so much the episodes are missing but more like I’ll watch one episode and it skips ahead to three or four episodes later and says I watched the earlier ones. I only got Peacock honestly because it was free to Xfinity subscribers when it first came out.

I think it was doing this to me with the new Night Court too. Peacock is actually the app I use the least anyway. I use Hulu and Prime a lot more so it’s probably not going to be any great loss.

Same thing here a few months ago. Got a referral and the recruiter mentioned how she’d heard such good things about me. I did make it to the hiring panel but still lost out to someone else.

Think I’m going to scrap Peacock. I was using it to watch Roseanne and it keeps skipping episodes. I’ll leave off on one episode and reopen Peacock when I want to go back to it only to find it somehow skipped four episodes ahead and I don’t remember watching them. I don’t have the desire to go back to the beginning of the show or jump back to my proper watch point all the time and hope Peacock works. Maybe I can just buy each season on Prime, assuming they don’t decide to get rid of it someday. Every other streaming app can get my watch history right; somehow Peacock has something basic so messed up.

I appreciate it but I’d give anything to get another job and be valued for my other talents and work. I’ll save it more for the work thread but I’ve been extremely sad and stressed most of the week and the idea of never being able to get out of customer service is terrifying. I don’t want to end up stuck and dealing with these callers for the rest of time. I fake patience a lot of the time and am largely irritated with these people but I guess I’m convincing enough. I guess my other pet peeve is that I’m seen as being good at something I hate and am desperately trying to run away from.

People who call into my job and are clearly not prepared for the call and aren’t paying attention. Me: “Thank you for calling Company Name this is Cloud9Shopper; can I have your account number?” Customer: “My what number?” or “My phone number?” or “Where do I find my account number?” Me: “And what is your email address?” Customer: “Well it could be (first email address) or (second email address) or (third email address).” Me: 😬🤦‍♀️🙄😐