RebeccatheWriter
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Posts posted by RebeccatheWriter
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A friend of mine was streaming a few episodes while we were working on Halloween costumes. They were from the season before Tori got engaged. Josie did a talking head interview with Carlin on one side and Tori on the other, basically asking if Tori would let Josie do her hair for her wedding. Josie then proceeded to say going into cosmetology made sense to her because after she got married it would be a skill she could use at home. I'm disappointed in that answer. I had hopes that she might be the one to break the mold and be a more modern version of this family's possibilities.
I get that women have the right to choose the career or non-career path they want. I don't slight anyone that choice. While a good friend of mine elected to quit her full-time job and do freelance projects to stay with her daughter more, I would go nuts with her schedule and vice versa. I need that interaction, collaboration, and feedback in my line of work. And while I love children, including my own, I am just not the right person to be there 100% of the time. I just wish these Bates and Duggar girls saw it as a choice too.-
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On 10/25/2018 at 1:07 PM, ChiCricket said:
Perhaps so then their friends and family can pay her in cash, and she won't declare that income on taxes.
I doubt Gil would pay for the younger ones. He was already (jokingly?) bemoaning the idea and saying how they could get them for free from her.
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On 10/19/2018 at 8:48 PM, BitterApple said:
I'm not optimistic either. One of the biggest things I've noticed is that Josie has a good-sized social media following yet she doesn't use it to promote her skills and build her clientele the way most hairstylists do. I think work is just a stop-gap and she'll bail once the second line comes in on the pregnancy test.
Most salons that rent space to stylists will include the stylists on their own social media and feature them to drum up business. Ross the Boss, where she works, doesn't rent booths to stylists, but hires them outright. There are pros and cons to that. It's often a good opportunity for a stylist who doesn't want to go out on their own yet or at all, as the company provides customers to you and your receive a salary versus it being based off your contacts, sales, etc. Many who are fresh out of tech college and have recently received their license will start at a place like that because they can build up their clientele and then move to their own space where they can set their own hours, prices, and list of services. The downside is that she can't really call her own shots. She gets assigned customers who can request her if she's available and they like her. She gets paid the same no matter how many heads she works on. And she has to do multiple tasks like run the register, clean up, open and close the salon, etc.
It's all a ruse anyway. Once the second line comes in, she'll decide that she can work from home. There will probably be an episode about Kelton and Chad converting a room to be her salon. We'll see her cut a few of the kids hair and then it will never be mentioned again.
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10 hours ago, andromeda331 said:
I remember that because it was crazy how Anna talked about it like it took her months or years to conceive instead of just four. Four months really isn't bad at all. It did always make me wonder what if anything they know about how it works the way she talked about how many pregnancy tests she took. Maybe it was only once a week which over four months would be a lot. But I could never be sure if it was that or if it was more often then that like every other day or after every time she had sex.
I think it was a sign of their lack of education about the human body. She claimed she was taking the tests even on their honeymoon. I remember her saying that in some interview or something. It put the image of her popping out of bed and running to the bathroom, stick in hand, as soon as Josh was finished.
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It should be interesting. During the TLC series and early in the UP run, Kelly was seen much more hands-on with the kids. She taught, not just assigned workbook pages, etc. However, that responsibility got passed on as the years went by to Tori and then to Carlin. Even the cooking, which Kelly claimed was not a chore but something that Alyssa and Michaela begged to do, was eventually assigned to Tori. The exact quote was something to the effect that Tori didn't like to cook but saw the need and stepped up. So Kelly isn't teaching. She isn't cooking. She is still assigning the younger children cleaning chores. I'm guessing Lawson isn't doing the grocery shopping any longer, as he has more "important" things to attend to these days. But I would assume that one of the drivers in the family does that too. So she wedding/shower plans all day?
Maybe season 8 could have an episode that focuses on a "typical" day for Gil and Kelly. Gil apparently doesn't do a lot of the tree work now. So what does he do all day? What does Kelly do all day?-
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15 hours ago, IndianPaintbrush said:
I just realized that after Carlin and Katie, there's no more girls of marriageable age for a while. What will Kelly do?? The Bates boys better find themselves some wives before she goes into wedding withdrawal.
Given how much she ignored Zach and Whitney's wedding, I'm thinking this may be a breaking point for Kelly.
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15 minutes ago, cereality said:
Wedding seemed nice. I didn’t recognize Josie in the reception pics. I realize people cake on a ton of makeup for weddings, but she looks like an entirely different person/different face. Kelton looked fine but I feel like we’ve seen that look on him before – tie/vest – maybe at one of the other weddings? IDK why you wouldn’t want to dress it up a bit more as the groom and wear a jacket. It isn’t so hot in Oct that you can’t do that.
The park where they got married was toward the north side of Knoxville. On Friday it was around 90 degrees in Knoxville and humid. The Bates Family Blog has some videos of some of the siblings saying congrats. (Trace, Jackson, Tori (and Bobby)). They are all talking about how hot it was at the wedding. We're having an exceptionally hot fall this year, as it hasn't yet to actually feel like fall. I honestly feel sorry for Tori, who is looking very pregnant and probably felt that heat. That might have been a reason that her face looked different and her makeup was different. She might not have wanted to sweat off her makeup and may have used a different base or powder to avoid her face looking red in the heat. If she or whoever did her makeup decided to use stage or camera ready makeup on her to mask the effects of the heat/humidity and lights from cameras for indoor shots, etc., it can make your face look less defined unless you really work at contouring things.
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She normally highlights her eyelashes quite a bit and they don't seem to be as dark an emphasized in the pics. It looks like she went for a more natural makeup look. That was probably a smart move given how much this family cries before, during, and after weddings.
I like the look of her dress and even the leaves, etc. in her hair. I did something similar with my hair back in the day. That said, I'm hoping that the decisions they made were made by them. I don't really want another season of Kelly Jo Bates: Stressed Out Wedding Planner for her Daughters. -
1 hour ago, IndianPaintbrush said:
An outdoor wedding is a refreshing change of pace for the fundie crowd. I wonder why there aren't more of them - seating issues maybe?
Some fundies only believe it is a wedding if it is in a church. I know Kelly's adopted sister opted for an outdoor wedding so maybe they aren't that tight on the idea of church wedding or else. And Gil started his church in a Holiday Inn so I think their definitions on that might be looser. Not to mention, Josie seems to like Zach and Whitney a lot. Since their vow renewal was outside (I think), she might have gotten the bug.
Josie was reportedly wanting a fall wedding. In the Smokey Mountains that is a prime time for weddings. So it is possible that dates weren't as available as they would have wanted. Couples book their wedding locations a year or more in advance in some cases, especially during the peak of leaf season. While it is a bit early for that, I could see them having trouble since Josie and Kelton didn't have that long of an engagement. So rather than one of the commercial little wedding chapels in Gatlinburg (think southern Vegas style wedding), they probably opted for outdoors on a Friday where they could have a wedding and a reception location that met their requirements.
I like Josie's style in terms of fashion and aesthetics. She was the one who wanted to paint the girls' room a shade of gray and lose the country cluttered look they had going on before. I think we'll see in the next season that she was probably more assertive about what she wanted in the wedding than say Tori.
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22 hours ago, SongbirdHollow said:
I tried, I really did. But I just could not watch the Josie/Kelton engagement ep. I got as far as the first charm and found myself in a diabetic coma. That the parents encourage these over the top displays of "love" is just plain weird.
I will say, Josie (and all the Bates girls) are stunning. With Gil and Kelly being attractive but average, I just don't know how it happened.
Many times beautiful people together don't make beautiful children/adults. So maybe the opposite is true. The Bates children all seem to grow up to be quite attractive though many of them do have some awkward years in between.
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Anyone else find it slightly amusing that some of the items on Josie and Kelton's registry come from the Ellen DeGeneres collection? Just me?
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17 minutes ago, iluvobx said:
Did you see all the tags that were still on those dresses?
I thought I saw that too. I know I have a lot of brand new clothes with the tags still on just waiting for me to pack them up for a "surprise trip."
Quotehmmm.. the love language topic came up again - "Quality time" is their language.
$10 says that there was some sort of "love language" topic at a recent ATI or IBLP event that these families all went to at some point. It's coming up way too often to just be a casual thing. A quick search showed the IBLP catalog that includes The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman on page 12. https://issuu.com/iblppublications/docs/11-13-15_2016_publications_catalog
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20 hours ago, flyingdi said:
I feel like everything on this show is created to make Kelly happy. The elaborate courtships and proposals seem more for her sake than they do for the kids.
The vow renewal is probably happening cause Kelly seems to feel Whitney should get along with her birth parents.
i just feel the kids would be happy being a lot less extravagant if it weren't for Kelly's input.
Gil seems to want his kids to be happy, Kelly seems to want them to live out some sort of fairytale.
This is going to sound a little armchair psychologist, but I'm going to post it anyway. Kelly has said on camera more than once that she wants her children (especially the girls) to consider her a friend. And you can really see this in how she gets so involved with everything and doesn't even mention anyone's upcoming wedding as their own. When Michael and Tori got married, it was all about the wedding and her stress level and her preparations. She participates in the bridal showers/wedding showers, the manicure/pedicures, etc., like she is just one of the girls. My own mother is involved, but happily took a back seat to my best friend who planned my shower and my friends who took me away for a weekend to relax. Kelly doesn't seem to know how to do that. There are pictures that the girls went away to New York for (among other reasons) a trip for the sisters in prep for Josie's wedding. While she isn't in the pics I've seen, no doubt Kelly was right there with her daughters and tagging along on every outing.
I had wondered if it was because of the cameras. Maybe she was asked to be more involved to be able to narrate a bit of the story rather than the girls, but all the girls are perfectly capable of it. Then I realized something. When Kelly was explaining her own family, she mentioned that her parents divorced and her sisters lived with the father and she lived with the mother. That's odd to say the least. But it might be a sign of Kelly's own desire for that close relationship with sisters leading her to be the way she is around her daughters. It truly is like she is trying to be the "oldest Bates girl" rather than the matriarch of the family. She seems (to me) more mother-like with her sons than her daughters. With the boys, she offers advice and gives them direction (Nathan with his failed courtship and Trace with his whether to go to school or work). With the girls it like she loses that mother instinct and starts laughing and cutting up with them (in her own way) as if she is just one of the girls and they can tell her anything. My mother and I were talking after the episode where Michael said she picked Kelly to be her matron of honor. I asked my mom if she had expected me to do that when I had gotten married. My mom's response was, "Hell no. I wouldn't have wanted to have to wear some ugly dress and stand up there in front of God and everyone. I liked being able to walk in and sit down."
I think Gil seems more like a parent. Yes, he does the fake tears over losing another daughter, but it is at least role and age appropriate in some ways. I think he would be happy to be asked about giving his blessing for a proposal and then learning how it went down. I don't know that he necessarily wants to be there for each one other than to make sure they don't kiss or whatever.P.S. I thought it was hilarious that they acted like it was some big deal that Kelly would ride with Kelton and Josie. It's the only logical way it would have worked for them. Josie and Kelton would ride together. Kelton's father could have rode with them, but that seemed unlikely. That would have left Josie with three men unrelated to her at all. Kelton's father is fundy, but he may well not have the exact same standards as Gil and Kelly. So if Gil rode with them that would leave Kelton's father Kelly alone with the driver in the other 4X4. The fakest thing was that normally on those excursions, one person rides in the front with the driver and 2-3 in the back. There was no need for them to be sandwiched in like that except for the awkwardness of the show.
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1 hour ago, BitterApple said:
From my understanding, Whitney was removed from her bio parents' care by the State. She was adopted while in foster care and it was her adoptive parents who attended her first wedding. At Kelly's urging, Whitney reconnected with the bio parents and the adoptive parents are no longer in the picture.
CPS doesn't terminate parental rights unless there is serious neglect, abuse or drugs in the home. I'm kind of intrigued by Whitney's willingness to forgive. If the parents had substance abuse issues and they've since gotten clean, I could understand, but if the problem was physical or sexual abuse, then I give a major side-eye, especially since the grandparents regularly babysit the kids.
At one point something Whitney had said led some people to believe her biological parents had died in an auto accident or something. Then right after she and Zach got married that story went away. I don't know how much was online, but that was the talk around the area. A lot of local people were very surprised when Whitney's parents "changed" with the show.
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4 hours ago, flyingdi said:
None of the strangers they meet is the least bit interested in them. It's weird.
Kelton was telling the flower shop lady his story and she's like, "Thank you. You can go now."
Whitney's telling the wedding planner that her parents weren't at her wedding and the planet's reaction is like, "Whatever!"
Don't forget the bus driver's reaction to Kelton's father wanting those packets placed. It wasn't really an ask from him. He was just more like, here's what's going to happen.
I get that they want to be modest and pure, blah, blah, blah. But seriously I would not be happy with my mother videoing every moment between me and my boyfriend along with a camera crew. No, they weren't going to let them go on a trip together without chaperones, but it was just way too cozy to me. They also drive me insane with wanting to be there for every courtship proposal and marriage proposal. They'll (Kelly mainly) will be a part of picking the dress, the location, the flowers, the cake, etc. I'm all for being a part of your child's life, but dang let the girl breathe a little. Maybe wait to be invited to participate or asked a question before rushing in there. Are they going on the honeymoon too?-
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2 hours ago, flyingdi said:
Have any of the Bates had a best man or maid of honor who wasn't immediate family?
I don't think so. Most of their attendants are family and spouse's family. Given that they have never really interacted beyond a once or twice a year visit with anyone their own age until they go to Crown College, it's not that surprising. It's something that bothers me about both this show and the Duggars. The parents have friends and former classmates, etc. These kids don't have that interaction. It's not a slam against homeschooling, but usually, homeschool parents will work with a co-op or local church groups to ensure there is that social element.
For example, Tori who they try to say is shy and reserved, was also shown not wanting to leave school or her classmates because she was enjoying having friends outside the family.-
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I'm preparing myself for rolling my eyes when Carlin tries to pull off being surprised by the whole thing. On that beach trip to South Carolina, Carlin was practically throwing out her left hand to Evan every few minutes. If they didn't have those modesty rules, she probably would have strip searched him for the ring. Tori was worse, but I'm sure Carlin will rank up there with the whole attention grabbing. Maybe Michael can fly back in and critique each dress Carlin tries on like Carlin did for Michael so rudely.
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Just in case anyone's worried out there about lack of wedding planning and wedding episodes next season, https://people.com/tv/bringing-up-bates-carlin-bates-evan-stewart-engaged/
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I did think that Tori and Bobby's vocal desires for a son rather than a daughter were a bit much. They weren't exactly sensitive to Michael who would more than likely be happy with either a son or a daughter if only she could get pregnant. She's never been known for being one of the more sensitive ones though, as she speaks before she thinks and is ready to throw out criticism at the drop of a hat. Paired with Carlin she can be cruel without intention. They are both opinionated and express that easily - except when it came to Tori and her wedding to Bobby. When the girls wanted to paint the bedroom and Josie picked the colors, Tori was against it vocally. She and Carlin criticized many of the dresses that Michael tried on for her wedding, prompting Whitney to comment, "You look beautiful Michael, but that dress doesn't look as good on you as some do." Back when they were occasionally on the Duggars' show, she criticized the colors that Jana was painting the bathroom door, calling them "yuck colors." When she was helping her mother try to lose weight before Michael's wedding, Kelly asked if this was going to make a difference at all and suggested jokingly that perhaps Tori should be the maid of honor instead. Tori brusquely told her, "It'll help after the wedding."
While it is fun to have an opinion and share that when she says such things it can be mean to another person who has shared something with you. I'm not advocating lying to a person, but for a group of people so big on encouragement, Tori seems to have lost that gene.
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The knot thing is better than those fake pigtail/curls that the Duggars have used.
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22 hours ago, PradaKitty said:
And Lauren’s father, JimBob Junior, is a whole other level of creepy. I do think though that Gil Bates has been on at least one of those wedding dress shopping forays too...
Gil went with Michael on the trip to Nashville for her dress after she couldn't find what she wanted at one store and the price was too much at another. I believe even a few of her brothers tagged along, making sexist and snippy comments too.
My father did go with me when I was trying to decide between two dresses I really liked. He was mostly there because my mother was being no help choosing and his favorite restaurant was nearby. He turned out to be no help either. Both looked "nice."Lauren's father creeped me out though with his jokes and comments.
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4 minutes ago, BitterApple said:
I can't figure Jessa out. I agree she gives off an underlying vibe of being mad at the world, but then she turns around and writes dissertations about how fabulous her childhood was and lauds Michelle as a perfect, loving mother (which we know is total bullshit). It doesn't make sense.
Jessa seems to have a lot of bitterness, but also that perfect life syndrome. She wants people to envy her and covet her life and choices. So while she may have some misgivings about her childhood, I think she also is of the mindset that she doesn't have the skills or talents to really get out of there and make something of her life other than what she is doing. If she had the ability to self-reflect or do an inventory of herself, she might make a living writing a book (with help) about the inner sanctum of the Duggar household and Gothard. However, I'm not sure that is even something that would cross her mind as possible. The majority of her life has been spent being taught to keep it sweet for her husband, parents, and the cameras. That indoctrination is tough to beat.
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Double Post
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20 hours ago, riverblue22 said:
And to that add that Erin has to have daily shots just to maintain pregnancy and when the time for childbirth, she seems absolutely terrified.
Yes, but if she is following her mother's lead and that of IBLP, there is no greater sacrifice than dying (or coming close to it) by giving birth. The Duggars play this up a bit more, but Kelly has said several things in that direction before. The Duggars even expect the children to thank Michelle on their birthdays and acknowledge that she could have died giving birth to them.
Logically, it makes no sense. She is high risk and could end up leaving Chad with half a dozen kids. Yet she feeds that addiction and duty as if she had no real say in the matter.I really don't get it either. Newborns are great. Its fun to hold a new baby. But yes its also hard work. The diapers and feedings, trying to get him or her to sleep, trying to get sleep and/or everything done while the baby is asleep. When you have two more kids each a year apart? That's a lot of work. What about the milestones of each kid? What about the fun ad craziness if each year older they get? I love my nephew as a newborn and a baby but once he hit two he became so much fun! He could walk, talk and watching him react to things he was seeing for the first time! He's not any less cool or fun now that he's in elementary school. Watching him with new interests and seeing how long they last. Playing football, become obsesses with hockey. It drives me crazy that they focus so much on the newborn and don't really appreciate the other ages. I guess I'm more used to people having one baby and just enjoying him or her for a few years. All their firsts before deciding to have a second child. Also, money. Kids are expensive and I can't figure out how Chad is supporting five people not including pets (if they still have them) and a new baby every single year.
I don't get it either. The first few months are the roughest. I appreciate my sleep, privacy, and me time too much. Children become more interesting as they grow and mature. Not that I don't appreciate the cuteness of a newborn, but (saying this as a mom) I found the newborn period to be pretty interchangeable among my children. It wasn't until they really grew into personalities that I felt like I truly knew them. I'm not saying I didn't love my babies. It's just that I was more comfortable when they could tell me what they wanted/needed and I wasn't simply feeding, soothing, and changing diapers 24/7.
I know that some parents seem to thrive on that newborn stage because of the attention it gets from others. People want to see the new baby. Hold the new baby. They tell you that you look good. They bring presents. They listen to your birth story. I've always felt that Michelle Duggar and Kelly Bates seem to thrive on that. They weren't truly at peace with themselves unless they were being commended and congratulated for another baby (whether pregnancy or just after the birth). Michelle especially seemed to thrive on the whole mother to a micro-preemie with Josie. Kelly seems to have similar tendencies that have carried over to being a grandmother (unlike Michelle). Erin seems to be falling into that slot too. Where Alyssa prefers a more private birth and time with her husband and children, Erin seems to want to invite the world. I'm not saying either one is right or wrong. It's just interesting that she seems to be following that pattern of the IBLP wives/mothers.
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S13.E03/E04: And I Don't Like Alligators!/Yellow Eggs
in The Little Couple
My daughters are both from Taiwan and were adopted at different times. When I traveled to adopt my second daughter, I took my mother, father, and older daughter with me. While she doesn't remember it now (she was 20 months old at the time), she will point to pictures from Gotcha Day for her sister and speak about having traveled there. When people ask her about where she is from, she talks about how "Mommy got on a plane to come get me. Then later Mommy and I went to get Gracie on a plane too."
Yes, I would like to take my girls back there to see some of the sights and visit the group home where they lived their first few months. We also had the benefit of meeting the girls' birth parents both times. So in a box I have pictures and notes from those meetings. Eventually, my girls will ask about that and want to know about where they came from. It will be nice to show them pictures and explain what their mother and father said about not being able to raise them.
Will is the same age in these episodes as my older daughter is now. While he might not have come right out and said, "I want to go to China," he probably has shown interest based on the pictures and stories he's seen and been told. Jen or Bill might have said to him, "Maybe we could go to China someday..." My daughter has spoken about going back to see Taiwan. Though her concern is more about the hotel pool than seeing anything cultural or important.