RebeccatheWriter
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On 4/19/2024 at 1:40 PM, Salacious Kitty said:
Per the thumbnail of this week's video, Alyssa has some of the girls in karate.
Per the thumbnail, one daughter (whoever was featured on it - Zoey?), has a blackbelt already. Alyssa's going to have to cool it with the filters, the photoshopping, and AI.
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8 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:
It looks like Trace and Lydia are also there. I guess Trace could be helping Chad with fix it jobs. Lydia is a wild card. She doesn't seem very domestic.
Trace and Lydia went with Jud and Jeb a month or two ago. Trace was working in the yard/outside areas or directing Jud and Jeb to do it while he filmed. I think the younger boys called him out on it.
But I will give him credit he was doing work that needed to be done. At the same time he and Lydia delivered one of those lift chairs for Papa Bill and turned it into a commercial. Trace did seem to be very helpful to Bill at Thanksgiving and was sort of directing him through making coffee, etc. It is easier for someone like Trace to do it himself and hand it to Bill, but I can appreciate that he did it in a gentle way that didn't scream out to Bill that he thought he wasn't helpful. He was also good at distracting/refocusing Jane. It was clear others were cooking and she was not necessarily stable enough to be in there. He distracted her with the parade and talked to her.
8 hours ago, Tdoc72 said:Chad will be handy to have there too. I actually like that they seem to be rotating small groups in.
It is good they are going in smaller increments. Papa Bill was pretty well out of it at the ILYD party. It was clear he can't handle being away from home or around large crowds now. He just sort of shut down.
For the love of God, I hope Chad can build them a ramp or better stairs. The stairs they have are concrete and probably as old as the house. They look uneven and could be a major issue for an elderly couple. Jane's using a cane sometimes because of a knee issue and arthritis. Bill has had at least one bad fall at some point. I want to sream at them to put in a ramp before someone falls on the stairs.
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3 hours ago, BitterApple said:
I saw that and thought it was incredibly sweet of Erin to wrap everything individually so Bill and Jane could pull items from the freezer as needed. Erin took care of Bill after he came home from the hospital, so I think her visits are similar to Alyssa's where she actually helps.
I think that Erin probably is more in line with being a help rather than a hinderance to her grandparents and even to her parents. She can come off as very needy and loving attention, but she seems very specific in that intent versus Carlin or Lawson who just want whatever attention they can get.
Erin thrives on being viewed as the expert and the perfect wife/mother/daughter/granddaughter, etc. So I think it is on brand for her (and still very nice) to individually wrap items and to bake for Bill and Jane. What I mean by this...On the show during the first season Jane commented that she hoped one of the grandchildren (granddaughters specifically) would take over Thanksgiving, as it was a lot of work and she could relax and let others do it better at someone else's home rather than her own. She said they wouldn't travel as far as Chicago for Michaela to do it or to Florida for Alyssa. She said she thought Erin could do it well but their home was too small for so many people. That probably made Erin's day to hear that she had earned that respect from Jane.
Erin's need for attention seems to come from being considered the expert on things. For example, she was the first to get married so she seemed to love being the planner for the other sisters. She was the first to go to Crown so she became the expert on higher education (in her mind). You could literally see her beam and glow when someone said how good of a cook she has become.
Jane seems to be able to speak that language to her.
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5 hours ago, AgathaC said:
I would say “understanding” — because I doubt they can or will fully comprehend the reality of that one!
True...and I forgot...it is the "War of Northern Aggression" to them probably.
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3 hours ago, cereality said:
So I guess pregnancy incoming any minute now?? Bc Carlin posted an IG of Layla stomping around mad bc she thinks Carlin is pregnant and Carlin says it's a food belly. And oh yeah Layla has been praying for God to give mommy a baby . . . . I feel like they all do these antics and then a month or two later it is - OMG we're pregnant, Layla, Carson, Bradley, Kasie, whomever have been praying sooooo hard for a baby. I realize that family has more "baby in so and so's belly" conversations than the average family bc someone is always pregnant, but really how many 4 year olds who already have a sibling are soooo interested in having another?? I'm sure some may be but many may be too busy enjoying mom and dad's attention, school, summer, swim and dance class, and whatever else to really care if there's another baby or not!? Esp when they already have an annoying little brother in their faces hogging mom and dad's attention anyway?!
My thought too. My guess is that Carlin will take a test because it made her think when Layla was so insistent. Voila! Surprise, I'm pregnant.
I guess they need to grow their cast.
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On 4/22/2024 at 12:09 PM, AstridM said:
The thing is - she does. How has she remained so unsophisticated and provincial when she travels so often?
She and most of this family are the very definition of willful ignorance. The men in the family are all brawn and very little substance in terms of art and culture. Their understanding of history is limited to the Civil War. Science is tainted with "Biblical" principles. The women seem to think it is cute to be ignorant. It helps them land a man.
Only Michaela seems to have any interest in learning more about anything other than skincare, cosmetics, etc.
On 4/22/2024 at 11:57 AM, AstridM said:Zach couldn’t pronounce “romaine” lettuce? 🤦♀️
I was wrong. He couldn't pronounce arugula. Kelly was saying in a "fancy restaurant" chicken salad came with lettuce and tomato. But they just ate it on sandwiches. She then says Zach got the fancy lettuce. He commented earlier that he might like to put dill in the chicken salad.
She also thought she was doing a commercial for Duke's Mayonaise. I'm southern, but I honestly don't get the whole mayo loyalty thing.
Another interesting note, Gil and Kelly talked about not having a television or letting the kids watch television. However, in this video Zach notes that he bought and is using Grey Poupon because they (? - is he referencing his parents or his whole family) liked the commercials when he was younger. I just always am amused when they end up telling on themselves.
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4 hours ago, cereality said:
Carlin posted a pic and Layla's 2 years younger brother is legit only 4-5 inches shorter than her. He is set to catch up to her fast.
Whatever happened to that pool they were going to have by summer? End of April and no ground broken yet. Given that summer starts by Memorial Day down south where the weather is warm, was the contractor BS-ing them? Did the contractor get a bigger better job so C&E's dinky child sized pool isn't at the top of the list? How ever will they party party now? It would've been perfect to have the pool to have Katie/Trav over all the time until Sept.
I am familiar with the subdivision where they live. I try not to say never or always, but I'm going to be surprised if they manage to get the pool they want with that yard. Those yards are known to be very rocky and sloped. I had considered buying an investment property there a few years before prices made that not such a great decision. My inspector recommended against any house there because of these yards and known drainage issues.
Maybe their yard isn't impacted. Maybe their contractor isn't worried about it. I just will be surprised.
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4 hours ago, Tdoc72 said:
I’m reminded of the time Michael wanted to go to DC to visit Brandon (I think it was the engagement time.) Kelly got out her calendar and said since Tory would be on spring break and could help with the kids, Michael was free to go. She was 24-25 at the time.
Yes, I forgot that one. There was also (bringing it around to Carlin again) the whole thing about Carlin and college. She was attending Crown College to study music. After Tori moved out, Carlin was led by the Lord (cough, cough) to study at Liberty University online so that she could work with the children on homeschooling, etc.
At least Liberty is accredited, but I find it disturbing that the trend is for the children to sacrifice for Kelly Jo's (and Gil's) decisions.-
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3 hours ago, andromeda331 said:
And Kelly and Gil laughing about how they always broke the hammock when they came to visit. As if it was the funniest thing instead of them being assholes.
Yes, it was clear on that and a previous episode that Kelly was basically a burden to her in-laws. They joked that they would need to buy a new one but it would get broken too.
Papa Bill would make breakfast for everyone and Kelly was shown more than once rolling in after everyone else. A polite person would have gotten there on time or fixed their own breakfast. But she was sitting down talking about how she wanted the cheese grits and couldn't wait.
During the Thanksgiving and Papa Bill's birthday episodes, she was never shown working. Mama Jane was a ball of nervous energy in the kitchen with the older girls. Gil and some of the boys were setting up tables and chairs under a tent. Younger children were decorating and carrying food out to the tables. Kelly was always shown sitting on the front porch or coming in the kitchen to chat about the next wedding or baby.
I think Carlin learned from her mom. When they used to show the Stewarts visiting Evan's parents more, we saw very little of Carlin doing much to be productive at all. That wouldn't have flown in my parents' home. You had better earn your dinner. If you can't cook, that's no excuse. There are dishes to wash and tables to set.
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3 hours ago, ranchgirl said:
One time Carlin was decorating for something outside at the farm, maybe a Thanksgiving. Under tents. Mama Jane had asked the kids not to get on the tables, yet Carlin stood on one of the tables in her shoes, to put some decor up. Mama Jane didn't like it when she caught her doing it.
Yes, and point blank lied to her grandmother. She was shown walking all over the table covering with her shoes on her feet. Jane commented that the shoes were dirty (and her feet). Carlin said they were brand new. The camera showed they were well used and the narrative at that time was that they primarily shopped thrift stores.
At another event, Carlin and several others were on the hammock. They all admitted the hammock was frequently overloaded and broken. So it breaks again. Carlin held the frayed ropes in place and lied to Jane that it was not broken. She tried to say it was Lawson but Jane again saw through her.
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21 hours ago, Heathen said:
Typically arrogant of a Bates. Or any fundie.
I doubt Kelly did any cooking once Michael(a) hit four or five and was considered old enough to handle meal preparation. Kelly must either have used someone else's recipes on Zach's show, or she is remembering a long-ago time when she actually acted like a parent.
For sure. She's said herself that she grew up on tv dinners and never learned to cook. She has said Michaela and Alyssa were the cooks in the family. People who know/knew them have said church ladies and Mama Jane taught both of them to cook - not Kelly.
It wasn't even really a recipe. It was chicken salad. She referred to the romaine lettuce (she and Zach couldn't pronounce it) as fancy.
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I get how hard it is when your parent, grandparent, etc. forgets you. I could get snarky and say that Carlin should be used to it as one of 19. We saw her grandparents about 15 years ago barely able to list everyone coming to Thanksgiving and struggling with the names of the grandchildren before dementia was an issue. But it does hurt. I feel for her there because I know it is important for her to feel seen.
She has zero respect for anyone or anything unless it makes her more of an influencer. From what the show showed us, she has always been that way. Mama Jane was a nurse. She would clearly have an opinion of cleanliness and reducing the spread of germs. Carlin and her family might not see illness as a minor inconvenience, but to the elderly it can be life and death. My own mother was admitted to the hospital with a UTI and things went downhill from there. (I'm aware you don't catch a UTI like the cold, but just an example of minor to one is major to another.) This time it was the hair thing, but it makes you wonder what happened off camera. Did she change Zade's diaper on the table?
I want to believe her tears and reactions are real and genuine. But I can't help but see it all as performative. We knew what we were in for with the title, "Carlin's Emotional Visit with her Grandparents." I don't care to give them the extra clicks, but I seem to remember that each visit to the grandparents recently has included Evan talking about this could be the last time, etc. I get that you have those thoughts. I had them with my mom. Unfortunately, I was right. It just feels so staged and exploitive.
The breakfast was a crap show. Notice Jane was hesitant about what to eat with those four attempting to cook sort of. But even I, a viewer, know that Papa Bill loved his grits. He said the secret to them was to read the directions and follow them. Is it that hard for them to make the man some instant grits? It might have actually sparked a conversation with him to discuss them.
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5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:
With that said, Carlin did mention she was "picking her accent back up". Which makes no sense because she's lived in the same area of TN her entire life, and never lived in NC so there's no reason for her accent to have ever changed. Its just another glaring example that Carlin is an empty vessel spending her life acting for the camera.
I didn't grow up with siblings, but I will say my accent is less pronounced than my cousins and other family members. I grew up in the suburbs rather than the country, had more friends who weren't from the south, and had a mother who was born elsewhere but spent the majority of her life in the south.
When I spend time with family who are more rurally based and have stronger accents, mine comes out stronger. There is a video by this comedy group called It's a Southern Thing that does a skit about accents and how they come out stronger if you are angry, scared, etc.
Not all southern accents are created equal. Kelly and Gil grew up in South Carolina (Kelly more mountain area and Gil more toward the coastal areas in terms of accents.) The OG 19 tend to sound more like Kelly rather than the mountains of Tennessee. Gil's family has the slower roll to speaking and drop the g on ing words. They change the sound of I and pronounce “I” as “ah,” such as saying “eye” as “ah.” Kelly on the other hand adds r to words (some of the kids picked up on this) and Gil's family can be heard dropping r's from words.
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4 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:
They're getting ready for a trip to Arizona and Josie is going through everyone's clothes. They have an obscene amount of clothes. The clothes alone will need their own room, a la the Duggars.
That's actually understandable when it comes to the way Josie was raised. The Bates had a community closet set up and everyone wore whatever they grabbed that fit. Josie may still feel the effects of that and is clinging to whatever she owns because nobody can take it from her now.
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2 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:
Carlin must have put up some new stories. The ones I posted about have since expired.
I'm not snarking on her here at all. She's doing her best interacting with Bill. It's a tough balance trying to figure out what he still knows. He seemed much more engaged in this last batch of stories than the ones I previously commented on where he was pretty much non verbal.
Like many with dementia, he does better with smaller groups and one on one. There is an extreme frustration and agitation that comes with dementia. Think about the last time you couldn't remember a word or a name of someone in a movie or show. It's apparently that times 100. Lawson and Carlin were probably the worst two to pair together on this sort of thing. They are among the loudest Bates.
I don't say many nice things about any of the Bates, as I think they are horrible people in general. They do appear to love their grandparents though.I will note that the others have showcased things they are doing there more than they have shown their grandparents. Alyssa cleaned the house. Trace did yard work. Michaela has gone and stayed with one grandparent at the hospital while the other was recovering at home and vice versa. I guess they made breakfast.
Others have mentioned the ill-timed commercial. I will add that Carlin will never truly change. She did Layla's hair in the kitchen while mentioning that Jane hates that. (My mother did too.) She has always shown zero respect for her grandmother's rules and standards.
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2 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:
Seeing Carlin interact with Papa Bill was very sad. She had to tell him who Layla and Zade were. He barely acknowledged a picture Layla drew for him. But he could express that he was H-O-T. I hope he still knows Jane.
It must be hell for her when she doesn't have extra help. I hope Gil's siblings who live on the property are of some assistance.
Dementia can be different for a lot of people. From my experiences (too many at this point to not fear it for myself), the spouse is usually the last forgotten. That said, it is still very hard because he probably feels a lot of pressure and frustration. My mother had some dementia related to a previous treatment of cancer. She would become very agitated and angry. At the end she was throwing things at me and demanding my father leave (me too but I was stubborn).
This isn't something we as watchers and followers know or can judge, but it might be time for them to consider some professional help for them. Jane's got some mobility issues. Bill is communicating less and less.
All that said, I am not surprised he didn't recognize or remember Carlin and the kids. There are just so many in that family. I appreciate that Alyssa's visit was quiet. She worked to help them. She didn't bring all five kids and make more noise and confusion. I was Allie's age when my grandfather died of a brain tumor. Not dementia but he had cognitive issues after his surgery and treatment. I wish I could remember him in better days and not just automatically remember him not knowing me. Things he said and did were scary. I hope that the Bates kid-adults will shield their kids from some of that pain and help Bill not feel so angry and frustrated for not remembering.-
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38 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:
Why are they sitting on the floor??
They spent all their money on the clothing. Couldn't afford furniture.
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They apparently rented (bartered for publicity?) a five? bedroom house on the beach. God forbid they have a reasonable space and spend some time alone. I wonder if they actually can have a conversation with each other that isn't on camera.
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On 4/9/2024 at 12:02 AM, AstridM said:
Let’s call it what it is - exploiting their very young children for money. Carlin shared a video of Layla playing on a slide the other day, skirt flying way up and all. It’s disturbing. I refuse to call that “influencing.”
I agree. I don't consider that material to be influencing at all. I was referring more to the meal prep kits, vitamins, hair/beauty stuff, MixTiles, etc.
I don't appreciate the child exploitation. That said, I have an influencer friend. She has two accounts, one of which is private for family and friends. She'll have the occasional picture of her daughter on that. However, her public and forward facing page about products is child free. If she is talking about children's clothing or items (rare), she photographs them but not with her daughter in them. She has turned down deals that require pics or video of any children. It has worked well for her though she does get creepy messages asking to see her child.
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On 4/7/2024 at 11:35 AM, satrunrose said:
The (apparent) fact that the boutique manages to support two above-averaged sized families in a fairly swanky lifestyle (2 degrees and no Tesla for me) continues to baffle.
I think the influencing provides that life more than the boutique. The boutique has some pretty big red flags that it is not as well backed as it should and could be. It's not the instant bankruptcy I anticipated but it isn't keeping them in Teslas, new houses, etc. I would also say they probably have very little liquidity in the business.
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On 4/4/2024 at 5:11 PM, Notabug said:
Different colors, but still dull and washed-out. It's their trademark. Instead of oatmeal, beige and buff; they'll be featuring dirty gray, faded yellow and dingy green. I don't think they could've taken a less appealing photo to advertise their new stuff. It all looks sad.
They are always so behind on buying and putting out their social media for the clothing. They did the photo shoot for easter dresses 2ish weeks before the holiday. Admittedly I don't celebrate that hospital but I did, I doubt I would order a dress online for it that close to the holiday. My mother worked in the visual merchandising business for clothing retailers. She would tell you that if you are buying summer merch now as a retailer, you're getting the left over stuff nobody else wanted. They should already know their summer inventory and have it in hand by March.
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I think there is some fall out still from the boutique. When Erin began stepping back (way before it was announced publicly), you had both Whitney and Carlin buying houses with their husbands - a first time home buy for Carlin and Evan. Zade was born in the midst of this and Erin was probably paying off some massive debt with how many surgeries she had and how sick she had been.
My hypothesis is:
Erin chooses to leave the business for whatever reason. She is taking Chad with her who did much of the grunt work and even some technical stuff with their computers and website. It's not like a ball game where they just walk away, they probably wanted to be bought out of their investment. The business is probably not very liquid. They have too much inventory. They upsized their location to go from rent free to commercial rent. They were and are traveling for shows to "meet with designers" a/k/a buying stuff off the rack to sell. And I doubt Whitney/Zach or Carlin/Evan had any cash to put in to make a buy out happen.
That would explain why it took months from Erin stopping with the modeling and posting to the announcement.
My guess is that other sisters were approached but they either didn't have the cash or didn't have the interest. That's when Kelly stepped in and suddenly she is a silent partner type dealing with the plus sizes. Kelly infused money into the business on the short term (note she's not doing anything there now) and Erin gets a payday for selling her part of the business. However, with as long as it took and the negotiation going on, I think there are and were hurt feelings and mismatched expectations.
The question is did Whitney and Carlin learn anything? A business isn't a hobby or activity. Just like you need to prep yourself for the end of your marriage when you are still planning your wedding (life insurance, prenup, etc.), you have to prepare for the end of your business when you lay the groundwork. I would bet they had no business contract between the three of them.
It turned out to be Erin getting out before the others, but it could have played differently. Whitney could have gotten annoyed with the business being in her house and then backyard. Who wants to give up personal space like that? Who wants your sisters-in-law and random church help wandering through your house, using your bathroom, putting their lunch in your refrigerator or searching it for a snack? It would get old quickly.
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2 hours ago, BitterApple said:
I just watched Carlin's vlog and the way she said "I forgot the gifts" makes me think she bought presents but forgot to pack them. I've done that before where I bought a bunch of stuff at Target or Walmart and intended to take certain items out for my suitcase, only to realize I forgot later. The Stew Crew seems like the type who scramble to the airport at the last minute, so I'm not surprised. She wanted to run out and buy something before the party and Alyssa told her not to.
I thought it was very sweet of the girls to make cards and letters for Layla and Zade, but I noticed Alyssa blew Allie off yet again when Allie excitedly tried to show her mom what she'd drawn. Alyssa always gushes over anything Lexie and Zoey do, but Allie gets a split second of attention or she's ignored entirely. Poor kid.
In Alyssa's defense on the gift thing - Carlin and Evan were sans car. John and Evan went to set up the location in John's car and Alyssa was getting the girls ready and about to head over to finish prepping the room (how much prep?) when Carlin jumped in with forgetting the gifts. I would have told her never mind too, as Carlin's going to have to take a 30-45 minute side trip at least to pick up gifts, then cards, then gift bags. Alyssa's kids would end up late for their own party and it would have eaten into prayer time.
Carlin could have summoned an Uber and taken Layla to buy gifts, but didn't.
Allie is begging for attention. I hate to break it to Alyssa, but it won't always been in such a sweet and pleading way to you. Teenagers begging for attention tend to not be as pleasant.
Maybe I have missed it but Alyssa seems to be posting thank you to Carlin (and Evan) for coming, but not even mentioning Erin. I have family I don't like either, but I try to be nice in passing out the thank yous.
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I think they did buy pizza. There was a slice of pizza next to Carlin's photo of the agenda. But it was still pathetic looking.
Josie and Kelton: They Have Employable Skills
in Bringing Up Bates
They still used the community closet concept (even if smaller closets) for quite a while with the girls and boys. You can see shirts and clothes being worn by different sisters and brothers. There were some episodes where they found their favorites among the clothes a sibling was packing. In the episode with the fire, the majority of all the kids clothing, including the teens, was on hangers and folded in the laundry room.