Note: I'm usually to lazy and/or half-dozing during this show to keep a running commentary during the show that I post later, but I'm pretty awake tonight!
The show opens and out comes a very muscular orange...wow! That's a lotta color, Terry!
South African Choir: One of the few acts that manages to pierce through my fog of cynicism and ennui and give me a little smile.
Ainsley Burns: Make. her. go. away. already! She opens her mouth and a stream of mediocrity ensues. And shut up, Simon! So you're saying she could come out and croak like a frog for 2 minutes (which she pretty much did) and we should disregard that and vote solely for the Pre-performance Producer Manipulation Clip? Errrm OK, I'll get right on that. In the meantime, let's work on America's Got Talent: Video Editor edition.
I think Julianne is drunk. She says more and more inane things every time. She's reaching Paula Abdul-levels of inaninity disguised as incoherent pearls of wisdom.
Shirtless Brothers: Ouch! That foot break injury looks almost as painful as watching yet another season of this show! [/rimshot] On another note, isn't there already a CHippendales show in Vegas? Based on future revenue, though, I'd give them the vote. There are A LOT of horny bachelorette parties in Vegas that would throw dollar bills at these guys. What was the point of bringing Julianne up? NVM don't answer that. Oh wait, I'm distracted by the really nice smile the one in the middle has...no! No! Must focus...need...to that's a lot of pretty man-flesh...[I'll be in my bunk.]
Ok, I'm back! Where was I. Oh yeah. Thanks Julianne for bringing back to my senses...with your icky critique #mentoo, that was borderline sexual harassment. Thank you for some decorum, Gabrielle. And does Simon really have to take credit for every single improvement in an act? His narcissism and ego is getting out of control again.
Lil' Fiddler: Oh I'm voting for the editors of this pre-performance clip for manipulative power - bring out the little brother! Cue tears!!! (I say this with a tear in my eye, F-Y-EYE). Performance-wise, he is both pretty good and pretty adorable. Will definitely get through.
Greg Morton: Light speed trip through Saturday morning cartoons. It pains me to say this but I agree with Simon. I loved his act initially, but it's worn thin. It's just so manic that it loses impact. Comedy needs space. Jeff Foxworthy would say "slow it down!" It is not cohesive - now if he could create an original skit with 5 or 10 cartoon characters auditioning for AGT, that would be funny and original! He's just a mimic, albeit a really talented one.
Jackie Fabulous: I was surprised she made it through, but at least that performance was better than this one. She kind of rushed it and there wasn't an original comedic moment in there. Dating, blah blah blah, self-deprecating fat jokes, blah blah blah...These "comedians" need to watch Bring the Funny for tips and pointers, particularly on pacing and timing.
Robert Finley: I just love this guy. Not sure I loved his performance tonight. I can finally see what everyone is saying about this being a great bar act. Vegas not so much.
Kodi Lee: I admit I didn't pay that much attention to him, but I do like him and think he's talented. (See this is why I never post because at this point I'm bored into a near comatose stage.
Light Balance Kids: They get more and more meh, and I wasn't crazy about the song choices.
Eric Chien: It's subtle, and this show don't do subtle, and when they do they don't do it that often so Shin Lim got you already brother. The judges befuddlement was almost as entertaining as the act itself. I get the talent but this particular one fell a little flat for me (pun intended). Unfortunately I think I figured out how some it works though, which is a shame.
Benicio Bryant: Also do think he's very talented but I wasn't crazy about the song...
...Zzzzz...Oh did I doze off? OK finally, it's over! Bedtime!