Moogen

So, I had severe morning (read: all-day) sickness with my pregnancy. As in, diagnosed hyperemesis gravidarum, had to go to hospital to have IV fluids etc. I never once puked in a plastic bag, that is just fucking revolting. Big Mack is the very definition of deluded. I almost feel sorry for her. Ryan was high as a kite and could not give two fucks about her trap baby. I feel so sorry for that kid, it's shameful that she has hurried into a pregnancy that neither of them genuinely want. When the producer asked her if Ryan knew about the pregnancy there was an extremely noticeable pause and then a pathetic attempt to convey how "thrilled" Rhiiiiiine is. Nice try. You are fooling no-one sweetheart!

Lux rhymes with...

Omg I am DYING!!! This really was a comedy/horror show in every aspect.

This article is amazing. Just blows to pieces any semblance of a joyous event (no matter how Jenyell has tried to spin it on Insta etc.) As predicted, the swamp wedding from hell.

This hashtag is fucking everything!!! ???

So Kylie Jenner is pregnant. LOLZing all the way to Starbucks to order a giant Frappuccino with a extra helping of fuck-you-Karl. You think anyone gives two fucks what your baby’s name is now? You’re a D-lister who is eclipsed at every turn by real celebrity news and it’s time to just tweet the monogrammed blanket already and STFU about it.

Yep, Jenelle quickly attempting to correct the record regarding her pot-smoking was hilarious. Nice try you rat-faced little bitch, your rampant drug use may have been when you were 16 but it was also as recently as your last pregnancy with your now-deformed daughter. Karl trying to lead Isaac into trashing his own dad about not showing up to prior soccer games was just quintessential Hulk: conniving, selfish and nasty. Oh the web we weave, Karl. It's all coming back to bite you on your over-inflated ass. Nova was an emotional wreck because she's exposed to constant hysteria about her father showing or not showing, either way the guy can't win and the poor kid doesn't know which way is up. Someone's going to need some serious therapy. Addie and the puppy was scary and I liked how the producers also added the bit about "Hey mom the mailman's here", like, Leah, while you're twirling your hair extensions and looking at Bumble your kid is roaming down by the street talking to random male strangers and throwing your Boxer puppy around. Chelsea's segments depicting a functional family are so incongruous amongst the rest of this shitshow.

I can't hardly wait either!! *rubs hands together in glee*

The flattened head is called brachycephaly and yes it is caused by baby being left to lay in swings, cribs etc on back with insufficient tummy time. You know that bitch always has the poor baby in a swing. It requires a helmet to correct when it's as extreme as Ensley's case. http://www.babyflathead.org/brachycephaly-what-you-need-to-know/

The head on Endtable is shocking, I notice she takes care to disguise it in other pics with headbands etc. Fucking do something about the deformity YOU caused you stupid bitch!! Ugh!!

The Hulk dragging her kids into class was quintessential Karl: selfish, self-centred, entitled and all-round fucking annoying. You know she only dropped that PFA because girlfriend needed more free babysitting. Others have covered off Briana's baby shower shitshow but I have to add inviting her "ex-boyfriend" was clearly a poor and miscalculated attempt to make Loser Luis jealous. "Dre" was clearly not a real ex-boyfriend - in Briana's words to Roxanne (who didn't recognise who the guy was): "you know, that guy who used to sometimes send flowers?" Read: would-be Baby Daddy Numero Tres, but he's probably too smart to hit that fake pumped up ass without wrapping his dick up first. As for Jenelle, that sandbank for the swamp nuptials looks real fucking nasty. I can only hope Irma dumps a few extra feet of rain on that very particular locale (with apologies to the rest of the South East who are suffering under Irma and I do not mean to minimise their experience).

This is just so perfect ?? all I can hear is Roxanne's voice. Amazing. Thanks for the good laugh!!!

Oh dear, that birth story is really best left for Karl's DIY private Pinterest journal. I couldn't get past the mucous plug description #vomit. Her writing is appalling. Lucky DSU takes giant checks because girlfriend was lucky to graduate 8th grade let alone achieve a college degree in communications. As Karl would say, LMFAO.

The fact Ensley had drugs in her system (regardless of what kind of drug) is bad enough. But having fully read the emergency custody court docs I feel sick to my stomach. She is a monster, as is her fiancé and there is something so dark and sociopathic there that it is truly terrifying. Thank god someone is stepping in to attempt to save poor Kaiser. As a mother I'm dumbfound that anyone could abuse their kid. But I'm even more disbelieving that any mother could stand by and witness someone else lay a hand on their child. She truly is a sick, sick woman and MTV should immediately pull her and her psycho man from the show. Those poor kids. Having scrolled back through pics including some that MTV used to advertise the show you can definitely see bruising all over that poor baby and even the hand marks referenced by Doris. It's just beyond belief.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.inquisitr.com/4484389/teen-mom-2-star-jenelle-evans-accused-of-locking-her-son-outside-nathan-griffiths-mom-files-for-custody/amp/ God what a sick pair