PRgal

32” is probably as small as you can get. Is there a wall you can mount it on?

Yep. They don't make tube TVs anymore. We've had flatscreens since we got married in 2010.

Took me a second to figure out what “dirty Santa” was. We call it “secret Santa.”

I'm actually unsure whether this should be in here, the family thread or mental health. As some of you might know, my son is donor conceived on both sides. My family knows and they're accepting of it, but my dad doesn't think I should tell him. This isn't the general accepted practice in both the donor-conceived and adoption world. Kids are supposed to be told as soon as they're able to understand. We have (age-appropriate) books about donor embryos/IVF as well as surrogacy and recently, I showed him the ultrasound from the day he was transferred. It's almost as if he's ashamed that my son is not connected to him genetically. I've spoken about it in various donor-conceived parenting groups on social media, and have explained that it's not just generational, but cultural. However, in those groups, I AM shamed for not standing up for myself. What I was looking for was to get help to find the right language. I want the world to know, but also realize that bloodlines are important in Confucian-influenced cultures. These cultures typically have kinship books and some can trace back a few thousand years (I have a condensed copy going back maybe 200. I know that my dad's line is pretty much made up of scholars who took the Imperial exams or merchants. I don't know much about anyone on my mom's side except that my grandfather is from a farming family (not sure if there's a kinship book there. He may have been the first generation to go to school, so the actual family keeping record, but a village scribe/record-keeper). Obviously, it's near-impossible to trace the women. What I'm trying to get at is the shaming in these groups come from not understanding/looking beyond a North American/Anglo context (I can't even say that it's "western" since this attitude may apply to various family-focused western cultures like Italy or Spain). If we're supposed to be diverse and inclusive, we need to know what different cultures view as respect. It's a peeve of mine that people don't. Another woman in one of the groups was told that she shouldn't have any more donor conceived children if she thinks her family or in-laws will have that kind of attitude.

I have found that The Sound of Music always makes me happy (it's airing on the 17th!!), and recently, my dad taught my son Do-Re-Mi. My son isn't really a singer, but I really appreciated that he learned it so quickly! Next up? I'm going to teach him either So Long, Farewell or The Lonely Goatherd. Speaking of the Sound of Music, I found a 2012 Austrian cast recording on Apple Music this morning! It's on my playlist now. The 2012 production was the first time it ever opened in Salzburg, according to this Guardian article.

It's the case for a lot of more recent immigrant families. And some cultures don't want to do these things because there may be some things they want to hide. In my culture, there's an "official" kinship book that can go back millennia, but is it the truth-truth? We don't know. Adoptions can be left hidden - I mean, my dad even told me he didn't think it was a good idea to tell my son he's donor conceived! I also know someone who wasn't told that he was adopted and only found out because he found the legal documents!

I’ve never had it! I don’t do cold, caffeinated drinks after, say, Canadian Thanksgiving or Halloween!

Did you check if the charger was plugged in properly? Did you try another outlet?

Brie is soooooo good! There’s a crepe place near me that has a Brie and raspberry jam crepe that I absolutely loooove. Savoury and sweet at the same time!

In the late 90s and early naughts when I was an undergrad, I'd see some kids wear PJ bottoms to class. I'd just roll my eyes. I'm wasn't and still am not a fan of casualization like this. Catholic elementary schools around here got rid of uniforms in the 80s and 90s, but has since brought them back (unlike high school, they just need to wear certain colours and all elementary schools basically have the same "uniform) because kids were going too far (especially in middle grades)! At my son's school, kindergarten kids can wear their gym uniform every day, not just days they have gym. However, my son chooses to wear the elementary uniform (which is much more casual than the old days - polo shirt and khakis/dress pants) on days he's not in phys. ed.

My son's teacher also has a last name that can be easily mistaken as another last name, which I can see why SHE does it. But she's not the only teacher who does.

I think this is kind of like how people with cultural ties to Hong Kong address any person from an older generation that they know (and isn't a work colleague or teacher) as Uncle or Auntie Firstname. I personally HATE it when it comes from a child whose parents I don't know well. It's fine when their mom or dad are close friends of mine - I'd just be another honorary aunt - but when it's the younger (or older) sibling of your friend, or even acquaintance, it's very, very odd. I never liked doing that when I was growing up. I wanted to call someone's mom Mrs. Wong (not her last name, but just an example), but she was all like "please call me Auntie Mary." I hadn't met Mrs. Wong before and barely knew the daughter. She was just another kid at school.

It just takes a bit of getting used to since it’s not by last name. Some teachers do go by Mr./Ms. Lastname.

But I’m in Toronto. Teachers were always by last name. And I thought Mr./Ms. Firstname was for adults children know, like a neighbour or a friend’s parent?

I’m so sorry, @kristen111! I don’t know much about love - I didn’t have that “sort of” guy like you did - so I can’t really relate. Different thing: since when did teachers start referring to themselves as Ms. or Mr. Firstname? My son’s last school was just as I remembered: Ms./Mr. Last name. Suddenly, at his new school, half the teachers are Ms./Mr. Firstname. Mostly people with harder-to-pronounce last names or ones that can be confusing .

I just use my phone's calendar and change the time to the time that I'm at the store. :)

The speech evaluator wrote back and said it was consistent of other children his age (the “th” and “l” issue) but one of the goals for Grade 1 is to work on those letters. He will be receiving help while at school. I do not believe the evaluator knew about our family situation until I wrote back to ask them to clarify. Goals can be set high at this school (but still, I think, anyway, a bit less rigorous than his previous school where the (unofficial) goal was for the children to get offers at the city’s various independent prep schools (including the one my son is at right now).

I've asked my parents to speak Cantonese with my son more often - he was just evaluated for speech and says he has trouble with the "l" and "th" sounds and recommends some therapy. The "l" is fine at the beginning of words (so he'd say, letter and lunch correctly (he'll say that "l" sound properly as well)), but not at the end. Owl, for example, comes out as "ow-oh," which is typical for people who grew up in a primarily Cantonese-speaking environment/community/place where Cantonese is the main language. His "v" sound is okay, however (my dad has trouble with it - often comes out as "w" or "f" depending on place). As for the "th" sound, I'd say that it's fine when he reads it, especially at the beginning of words, but not in other parts. If I ask him what my first name is, he might say Cyn-fee-ah (I'm less concerned about "th" since a lot of kids his age can't say "th" anyway). I feel that he may improve if he primarily hears English from the two of us and from school (this comes out as "skoo" 99% of the time, even if he's reading it out).

My parents met in high school but didn't start dating until university ("good, studious high school kids" in 1960s Hong Kong did not date). They both came to Canada for grad school, went back home to get married (Mom was 23 and Dad was 24), stayed there a bit and then came back to Canada. They've been here for 50 or so years!

And my dad got my son to try salad, too! He used to HATE leafy greens. "Gung Gung's Salad" is the only salad my son would eat. ETA: Keep in mind that my parents are both immigrants from Hong Kong. Leafy green salads weren't a "thing" there back in the 70s when they arrived. "Salad" existed, but it was usually potato salad.

Yum! My dad's "Weekend Salad" (because we have a big family dinner every Saturday) has walnuts and avocado (mixed greens, cherry or grape tomatoes, walnuts and avocado tossed in a balsamic and extra virgin olive oil dressing)!

What's Thanksgiving Salad? Is it greens with turkey and sweet potatoes?

Thanks for the congrats, everyone! And now I'm off to write emails to local, independent stores to see if they'd be interested in carrying the book. I've also alerted my son's kindergarten teacher and the school's library.

Okay people, I don't mean to shameless self-promote again, but it's official!! I'm told that it should be available in regular stores over the next few weeks.

Honestly, it was a mistake to set it in the same period as the OG series. I would loved to have seen one taking place in the early naughts. Hey, maybe even focusing on a middle eastern family and the aftermath of 9/11 (and a bit of Millennial/Xennial nostalgia (okay, we Xennials got it from This is Us).