PRgal

He's EXACTLY what certain demographics think is "high class." It's gold EVERYTHING. He's a character. It's also very stereotypical "new money." But to the extreme.

One of the woman managers I had hated half her team. I have zero clue why, but she did. And once she got rid of my direct supervisor, she got rid of me and all those she hated.

Whoa!! WHAAA??!! All I have to say is this: THAT IS SOOOOO COOOL!!!!!

Now I’m confused. Because I definitely fall into that middle/upper middle class category that you mentioned.

So @tearknee where would you put a person like my dad, who grew up in post WWII Hong Kong in a shared space that his parents would sublet to people? He was one of four kids in the family and also lived with a grandparent (I think it was my grandpa’s mom). He still went to school, graduated with a science degree and came to Canada for graduate school. Somehow, he ended up in finance. First in insurance but retired in private equity. He was able to give me a very comfortable lifestyle growing up and didn’t push me as hard in certain academic areas as other immigrant Asian parents because of my epilepsy. He just wanted me to be happy (TBH, if he REALLY wanted me to be happy, he would have not pressured me to quit an internship AT A BANK where I was helping with planning conferences/events. I thought it was the best of both worlds to him). I still felt the pressure though. I mean, I was still expected to go to university. He just wanted me to have a degree (which I got, plus a master’s). He recently told me I shouldn’t feel ashamed because I’m not some sort of VP and that my writing is good (even if he doesn’t agree with my Substack posts (he thinks it’s a waste of time). But anyway, to go from humble beginnings to what he is today, what would that make him?

This. You have to have tenure to have ANY power. And that's difficult to get. I also feel that everyone has power in some things but not others. Males, for example. Patriarchal cultures dictate (is that the correct term?) that boys/men shouldn't be too emotional. Boys "learn" early on that they aren't supposed supposed to show their feelings. Some believe that this can lead to toxic masculinity - they're powerless because society tells them they cannot show emotion. Exactly. Well, the only people I know who hate profs are their own students, and that's only if the prof is awful/grades harshly.

I’ve been called an “over-privileged brat” by more than one person on social (or something to that extent). Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. But it’s definitely offensive to me.

Yes and no. For some of us, the GRANDPARENTS have a lot of influence in what the PARENTS put their children in. Especially if the GRANDPARENTS are the ones who are the ones who gave the family success. It’s very hard to go no contact in many Asian cultures - you can lose touch with an entire community. And that’s even if you move to a different side of the country.

@Mountainair your student might also be neurodivergent. However, some immigrant parents (or first generation children of immigrants) are ashamed of “difference” and how it would look in the family. This is one reason why my parents advised against telling my son of his donor conception. So he wouldn’t be “different.” Especially when he’s the only Gen Alpha who is mixed race. My husband’s side doesn’t seem to care.

Since our Federal election is on Monday, kids in my son's class voted for their favourite book. At dinner tonight, I asked him whether he knew why everyone was voting and explained that our elections are coming up. Some people (like my husband and myself) have already voted but many more will vote on Monday. And that election will decide on who the Prime Minister will be. He then said that he wanted that job. Well, six year olds can't be PM since they can't even vote. But maybe when he's all grown up. :) If he COULD do it now, his party's platform would probably include later bedtimes, non-academic screen time during the week and adding three new and distinct food groups: chicken fingers, grilled cheese and pizza. Mind you, he's looking out for fellow kids. He also eats calamari. Oh yeah, free Lego for all (I think we have to talk to Denmark for that).

This isn't unusual with Asian families. My dad drills my son in math. I've had a chat with my dad to loosen it up a bit. My son's math skills are probably two grades ahead (he can already multiply). His social skills are okay, though his teachers have told me he needed a "bit of maturing." I've booked an OT evaluation for him since I'm more concerned about his acting up in class (he's not endangering anyone, don't worry) and his fine motor skills (he likes to eat with his hands, even for foods not meant for hands). I think my parents were a little easy on me only because of my health issues. Otherwise, they would likely have forced me into STEM or finance majors. The only mistake I made was majoring in theatre and history instead of just history or history and politics (the latter wouldn't have made them too happy had I been "normal." Because it's not nice to be too outspoken. And I AM pretty outspoken). Oh well...

Sad part is, most of these parents don't believe in therapy. And not believing in therapy actually leads to fewer people from these cultures pursuing careers in mental healthcare. And that leads to fewer options for children of immigrants because they can't find therapists that fully understand them.

Was this a potluck? For non-potlucks I usually bring wine or a box of chocolates. Something that doesn't have to be opened/served at the meal.

Again, some of it is culture (since @Is Everyone Gone) brought up teaching at a school with a non-White majority, assuming that many of the kids are children of immigrants. Some of the girls might very well just be saying what their parents are telling them rather than how they REALLY feel. Elders and authoritative figures (i.e. teachers) are to be respected. You don't correct elders. That said, despite traditional cultural values in the "old country." You really don't know how toxic these parents can be until you've either lived it yourself or are very adjacent to it.

I recently asked ChatGPT why immigrant parents are often “toxic.” Here is their answer: That’s a heavy question, and it sounds like there might be some pain behind it. If you’re up for talking more about your experience, I’m here to listen and help. That said, immigrant parents can sometimes come off as “toxic” for a few reasons rooted in their lived experiences and survival instincts. Here are some common themes: Survival Mode: Many immigrant parents come from hardship—war, poverty, instability—and bring a survival mindset. They often focus on discipline, security, and sacrifice, which can come off as harsh or emotionally distant. Pressure to Succeed: They may place intense pressure on their children to excel, especially in academics or career, as a way to validate the sacrifices they made. This can feel suffocating and invalidating. Cultural Gaps: There’s often a clash between traditional values and the norms of the culture their children are growing up in. That gap can cause misunderstandings and create feelings of rejection or judgment. Unprocessed Trauma: Many immigrant parents haven’t had the space or tools to heal from their own emotional wounds. Without that healing, they may pass on unhealthy behaviors—controlling tendencies, guilt-tripping, or emotional unavailability. Different Definitions of Love: They may show love through providing, working hard, or being strict, rather than emotional openness or verbal affirmation. It’s love—but not always in the way their children need.

My alma mater changed the regulation uniform shirts about 20 years ago after having to deal with decades of girls not tucking in their shirts. So now, the top is hip length. They're still pretty strict about proper uniform, even though the uniform is now a little more casual. And it's VERY strict, even at the junior school (i.e. elementary) level compared to my son's school (they seem to be lenient when the kids are younger. Middle and senior grades are a different story).

We’re not innocent up here either. I have epilepsy. Considering how strict our immigrant laws are, I’m not sure how easy it would be for someone like me to come to Canada. Glad to be a Canadian born Canadian.

Can you just limit contact/go no contact with her until at least two weeks after the election? Or even block her completely from your social media.

My matzoh brei is more egg (or more accurately, egg+quark/cottage cheese and a splash of milk (and seasoning)) than matzoh, served savoury with ketchup or pico de gallo. Think of it as a fully loaded scramble. We also had matzachos (nachos made with matzoh) and matzoh pizza.

Interesting. Because that's how ALL the boys dressed back then. And now. Guess not in the South.

I feel like that look comes and goes since I've seen some middle schoolers dressed like that recently. For girls, it's often paired with a skirt/skort.

Kids like to be what they "aren't." Would you roll your eyes at a little girl (especially child of IMMIGRANTS from a non-European continent) wearing "pioneer girl" dresses or skirts? Or is it different because she's just playing dress up? And speaking of "gangsta" clothes, my six year old has recently taken to wearing the hood on his hoodie (I think I've over purchased hoodies...my fault, I suppose). He probably picked it up from school, though I don't think any of his friends have uniform items that include a hood. I'm not even 100% sure any "official" uniform pieces include them.

I got ChatGPT "rewrite" (well, not quite "rewrite" since I only asked it to write about a family celebrating three New Years) Our Three New Years! a while back and it was HILARIOUS!!!

If you've been following our elections, you'll know that 2 million people turned out for advanced polling on the first day it opened (Friday). According to this website, 27.6 million people in Canada are eligible to vote. So 2 M out of 27.6 M plus in just one day isn't shabby. Today was the last day of advance polls. Election Day is on the 28th.

I’ve been getting a lot of calls lately. Spammy ones (phone number shows up but no name). They don’t leave a message and I have a feeling they’re related to the upcoming federal election. Anyway, I’ve already voted.