CletusMusashi

Or a pitch black area that could be pretty much anything.

Doesn't work. In the kind of small group he's been running with you're going to be at least pretty good acquaintances, if not actually friends, before you end up in bed with each other. He may be cynical, but not "looking at the lives of those close to you as disposable" cynical. Maybe when he was on the road with Merle, and they only hung around for a few days before stealing supplies and running, but those days are over. The only time CDB had enough people that he didn't know everyone well was in Season 4a. Or, technically, also between 3b and 4a. Theoretically, he might have hooked up then. And now, I'm thinking about how much deeper the Carol story could have been if she'd killed someone Daryl liked, instead of just temporarily pissing off Tyreese the big fluffy pacifist. Daryl not only has an extremely savage side to his personality, but he also has a hell of a lot more of personal connection to Carol. Might have been a much better story.

Yeah, to each according to their abilities and all that. Sometimes your skill set really is just that limited, and all you can bring to the table is your vajayjay. But, anyway... enough about Lori...

I agree any returning actors should be expected to be familiar with the show. But I also think any completely random guests ought to do the same thing, and we've seen far too many who didn't.

When Michonne says you need a trim... it's getting bad.

Abe has gotten knocked down in one punch by Glenn. Rick has decisively taken down both Tyreese and Merle. Besides Brillip, the only person who ever came close to beating him was Shane, and Shane still lost. (Unless you count Rick ending up with Lori and Carl as losing. Hmmm...) Also, Aquaman could totally beat up Eugene. Because he has power over mullets.

Rick has better plot armor.

I think it should be okay,once a character dies, for the actor to return from time to time as a guest on Talking Dead. Seriously, considering how many idiots they've brought on for no reason whatsoever, why not give us an occasional visit by Shane, or Dale, or.. anybody except Brillip. This would give us the best of both worlds. They could kill off Abe and Eugene, but they could still have them on the show a few more times. Unfortunately, they missed a golden opportunity to have Gareth eat them. Think of how many jokes they could have made about "Michael Cutlets."

Might be interesting if she considered the idea that the car was from Terminus. Which would raise the possibility that they left Beth in a metal boxcar in the middle of a burning city. Or maybe she has considered that, and her mind's snapped. Hence the need to adopt Eugene as a new sibling. How many family members has she had die now? Pre-ZA mother, Herschel, at least one red-shirt sister, at least one red-shirt brother, plus people like Otis who were like family... Maggie may not be as stable as she usually acts.

Yes, Rosita knows Abraham's nuts. Both of them, in fact! Must... block out... the phrase "dolphin smooth..." OK, what I really came on here to mention was that whole deal with Eugene and his crushed glass. He honestly thinks he caused the accident? Tried to, okay, but the accident consisted of the bus flipping upside down. It was caused by either a tire blowing, as the recap suggests, or, as someone in the live-posting thread suggested, by Abe taking driving lessons from Lori. It just seems like, for purposes of narrative simplicity, they should have had Eugene's sabotage actually have something to do with the accident. Otherwise, if the bus is only going to last two minutes anyway, who cares? I think the next time they get a vehicle, they should only drive at night. AMC isn't going to piss money wrecking a car that nobody can even see, right?

That's also why they fired half of their lighting staff. it's getting so the show is like twenty minutes of television mixed with twenty minutes of radio play. Maybe if they hadn't used every single candle they had during the Gareth arc...

Yes, both actors are a lot of fun. Too bad their characters are so awful.

But did you keep having flashbacks that made it clear you started dying it during a zombie apocalypse? Also, he was a lot fatter last season than he is now. Or in the flashbacks. Even if you're living on potato chips and spam, how do you gain that much weight while boxing zombies all day long?

Now that the "cure" gibberish is over, all we're left with of Eugene's plan is that he seriously thought Washington DC, of all places, would be the safest. WTF?

Yeah, I took it as a MacBeth schtick. Which would be fine. I like metaphors if they're well done, but if it's just a ploddingly bad scene and then suddenly "Hey, look, isn't this a literate reference?" No, not really. It's about on the same level as Fauxther Gabriel just randomly spending five minutes in a crucifix pose during a moronic synchronized swimming scene. Hey, did anyone else wonder if the reason YSB was so excited about the fire truck was because it matched his hair?

I think if the walkers are now so flimsy that their skulls can be crushed by a fire hose, they'd be getting a lot slower and flimsier overall. We should be seeing things like their leg falling off when they try to walk. Or their jaw falling off when they try to bite through multiple layers of clothing. Speaking of weapons, why is there so little use of anything between "gun" and "knife or fist?" YSB's hand would probably heal up just fine if he would carry a machete or something, instead of getting so close all the time and PUNCHING! I give Rick a lot of crap for his dumb speeches and random decision processes, but apparently the writers are going to do that no matter what. That "We go forward, no matter what!" speech was the same exact nonsense. "Hey, we need Abraham to make a Rick speech here." "So what's the problem? Just grab one out of the Rick jar." Best part of the episode was by far the previews for next week. Daryl and Carol, kicking ass and taking lollipops.

There was a raspberry ginger shandy at the store, but I'm not going to drink that. I toyed with getting some Woodchuck cider, to match the woodchuck on our new fearless leader's face, but ultimately I just opted for some pumpkin ale, in honor of his big orange head. Let me know when there's a Carl episode coming and I'll buy some Magic Hat.

Honestly, for me it'll probably just be Bud Lite, Speaking of which, I need to run over to Circle K and load up on wide mouth 40s. I love those things. The handle makes a perfect grip, and the height is just right to have on the floor next to your chair and reach easily. Plus, if I drink four of 'em, that's more than a twelve pack, but the only cleanup I've generated is four bottles and four caps. For some reason they drain a lot more cleanly than smaller containers, too, so even if they sit around empty for a while they don't attract fruit flies the way 12 ouncers do. Now that you mention it, though, I'm wondering if I should get a little bit of something special, just for during the episode. Like when "Pit Boss," a wonderful fake reality show about an all-midget casting agency that was also a dog rescue, got renewed for a second season, I celebrated the premier with a beer called "Old Leghumper." But what would be the appropriate drink for enjoying the Walking Dud and his ten minute short bus ride, before it either breaks down, runs out of gas, or has too many zombies in the way to drive? Ginger shandy? Don't like it. Mullet-tov cocktails, to throw at my television set whenever Eugene talks? That might be tempting. Maybe I actually will go to a proper liquor store and see if there's any microbrews called "Flabby Wifebeater," or "Follow the Walrus." Odds are I'll find something. Beer labels nowadays are getting as weird as band names.

Actually, I think YSB is more popular than Beth. I know a lot of book readers, at least, are excited about him. Even though I enjoyed last week's episode, so many people didn't that we might just be seeing a "Last week sucked so I'm not that excited" slump. I felt the same way after "Gareth makes a speech, then Bob makes ten thousand speeches, then Rick makes a speech, then maybe someone at AMC eventually remembers to turn the lights back on so we can see." Who directed that episode? Shane? But once I was surprised by a Beth story that I liked, I cared again. What can I say? I'm a sucker for lollipop jokes. As far as the use for bodies goes, I think maybe they were referring to using live ones for prostitution and forced labor? Hey, maybe the stories will merge. YSB will get captured, because they need somebody to replace Gordon. He will plan to impress Beth by showing her how many lollipops he can fit in his mustache, but his plan will fall apart when Doc mistakes the 'stache for a guinea pig and eats it. Except for a little tiny square. Which of course will cause Dawninatrix to fall in love and make crazy leather monkey sex with him. Then they'll drive off to find Fauxther Gabriel and get married. Rosita will hook up with Tara, there will be a double wedding episode in which Beth sings eight or nine times, and Carol will disappear again for half a season. Low expectations and, soon, also heavy drinking. This is how I plan to get through tonight.

Here's the big question: Are all the writers on the same page? If not, then even though this week is suddenly about Abraham instead of Beth, certain obligations may still be in effect. And there ain't enough alcohol in Texas for me to sit through "Yosemite Sideboobs: The Musical!"

But if they let other people get some screen time as crazy leaders, then maybe the writers won't insist on giving Rick a personality overhaul three times a season. I like that most attempts to rebuild civilization result in something much worse than what we live in today. As many issues as I have with too much American government, anarchy is worse, especially since anarchy has no inherent resistance to real, non-metaphorical, fascism. I like seeing this as drive-by scenery. Hopefully it'll free up some of the main characters to be more consistent. Plus, ultimately, I've got to ask myself what story did this episode detract from? The writers knew before this episode was even written what Episode Number the group would head for DC, when they would get there, yadda yadda yadda. My guess is we've had way more fun ragging on Rapey McLollycop than we would have had watching Fauxther Gabe crying and overacting, or Eugene mumbling and under acting, or Yosemite Sideboob making any speech whatsoever... You know what I love about zany side episodes? Everything there that doesn't work will be gone soon! Try to explain that notion to the rest of the show...

Yeah, I'm looking forward to it too. Had to work last Sunday, which pretty much shot to hell any chance I will ever have to live-post about a "lolly-cop." My expectations for the upcoming episode are fairly modest. 1. I would like Rosita to change back into her Daisy Dukes. I mean, she doesn't do anything except look pretty, so just embrace it already. I don't even think the actress is bad, but it's kind of hard to tell when she only has about ten words of dialog a month. 2. I would like Abraham to put on a sweater or something. Some breasts are less hypnotic than others. 3. I would like very much for Eugene to open Bob's shoebox, and find an unread book, still in its original factory packaging, called "Acting 101." 4. I would like to see more side-dynamics developing among Rick's group . Perhaps Carl could be the curious but not stupid kid, kind of like Will Robinson on "Lost in Space." Fauxther Gabriel, of course, could be Dr. Smith, the ineffectual suspicious weirdo who the adults can barely tolerate, and Lord Fluffington the escaped guinea pig could be The Robot who has to keep dealing with their emergencies. 5. I want to see at least one good kill done by Carol. Which, when you convert the math into Carol numbers, means she has to kill at least 500 people while Rick tries to have a telephone conversation with his shoelaces. 6. I want them to finally settle the issue once and for all of who should go where with who by letting Carl's hat develop Hogwarts-style sorting powers. 7. I want absolutely no flashbacks whatsoever about Bob or The Governor. Really shouldn't have to specify the Governor, but, yeah, better safe than sorry. 8. I'd like to see at least one other monster join the cast. Mummy, Sasquatch, David Hasselhoff version of Mr. Hyde, whatever they can afford... I just think the zombies are getting lonely. 9. I want to find out who the hell has been doing Eugene and Abraham's hair throughout the ZA. Hey, is that why Rosita is there? 10. I want to not be called into work on Sunday night.

That's what i liked about it. Bad is still bad. You don't need to keep on "topping" the last villain, as long as the story and setting are reasonably different.

OK, if it's Abraham's backstory, I'm more interested than if it's just him blustering around on the road. Maybe we'll find out he was Eugene's hairdresser.

The writers like to move things slowly.That's why we get filler episodes like "Carl Loses his Shoe," or "Just in case you Missed Season 3, The Governor Loves the Idea of a Family but is Nevertheless a Crazy Dick." Or even, to use an example that I liked, "Rick Plays Hide and Seek with a Bunch of Killer Rapists While Michonne Waits for Laundry to Dry." I also think this was an enjoyable filler episode. They couldn't have done it with an alpha character, though. It had to be somebody that nobody in power would remotely consider a threat. We were looking outside the group, at other ways people were making mistakes, and Beth was simply a way to get the lens there. Otherwise, if they just randomly decided to do an episode about Dawn and Gordon, we'd be sitting around wondering "Um, which one is going to join the group and replace Bob?" Plus, the answer to that question appears to be Noah. I like that trade. Not missing Bob at all. Of course, if Dawn wants to team up with Abraham and start smacking Eugene around, that might be an interesting redemption arc...