CletusMusashi

No! The sword stays on you. There are still fucking zombies out there! "Help! Save me, constable!" "Well, I would just kill those zombies with a sword, but now I guess I'll have to shoot them and attract 50 more."

I love this head trip! Crazy Sasha just came across as the sanest person in the room.

I think watching that scene could cure fucking Cookie Monster of his addiction. "Yeah, me no want cookie so much now. Cookie make me feel sad. And... frightened. And... funny. About Cougar Monster."

HOLY SHIT, Carol? WTF? You're lucky I don't like kids.

Wait, Michonne's wearing a dress? Thanks for letting us know, Facial Zoom Lens Guy.

Hey, is that a joint? Are they gonna give Coral reefer?

I like Aaron way better than I like She-Gov.

Sasha's not THAT crazy. Sniff elsewhere, fratboy.

I feel better about Rick's beard. Looks like it'll be back in ten minutes.

Please tell me they can rebuild and turn him into a cyborg pony. Eugene, this is the one time your knowledge of obscure Japanese porn genres may come in handy.

That's how you cheer Daryl up! Give him a pony!

I could just watch an entire episode of Carol bullshitting these people!

Axe Cop, make way for Sword Cop.

Uh Oh. Sasha's crazy. Hot as hell. But crazy.

Lydia's a fun red shirt.

I miss Rick's giant beard. I think it made him more fun.

And if it weren't for the time change, we'd be waiting even longer. As it is, I'm not even properly drunk yet. Which worries me, because we're overdue for a bad episode.

I'd rather be at the party that Michonne works.

Last week I grumbled a bit about Coral's extremely weak knife-fighting position when he was opening that door. This time around, I realized that, due to the direction that the door was built to swing open, he was holding it left handed, which I seriously doubt he's used to. Now, I actually like the scene. It's a nice little touch of environmentally-induced awkwardness.

Actually, now that I think about the variety of the group right now... Daryl is (the Hollywood version of) the outlaw biker type. Rick was a trained law enforcement professional. Carl seems like he might be growing into a sort of old western archetype. Abe is military, and he apparently knows a bit about construction work. So... where's the Indian chief?

You're saying Deanna is into copsplay? Actually, wouldn't it be funny if the real cops are her other sons, and Rick's new job is just to go to dance at bachelorette parties and thangs? Maybe his new gun just shoots glitter.

Garden camouflage. Carol is always ready.

That might have been a little suspicious, so soon after Terminus.

That's why Daryl and Abraham are taking no chances.

I'm really excited. Can we see the episode a little sooner if we do the first few minutes of it for them? Previously, on AMC's The Walking Dead: Joe: There ain't nothing sadder than an outdoor cat who thinks he's an indoor cat... Welcome Wagoners: You'll have to hand over your guns. Carol: What's a gun? (Walks in with lasagna.) Michonne: It's like a sword, but less awesome. (Walks in with sword.) Daryl: Crossbow? Also not a gun. (Walks in with dead possum.) Rick: You like guns? Check out these guns! (Rips off shirt, flexes, and starts taking shower.) Joe: and he's actually turning into a teenaged emo girl... Aiden: I know I'm a douchebag... Glenn: People who only flipped past this channel for half a second know you're a douchebag. Aiden: ...but my mommy's the Governor. Deanna: Oh, I don't care. Smack that douchebag all you want. Thing 1: Hey, everyone, this is Coral. Coral, these are Thing 2 and Enid. Enid's a teenaged emo girl. Enid: Aren't you usually wearing a hat? Carl: Um... no? (Continues holding hat in front of lap.) Joe: and he also likes to sleep outside on top of a pile of raw possum guts... Daryl: Claimed. Rick: I used to smell like a pile of raw possum guts, but now I'm clean! Jessie: Not for long, baby. Remember Season 2? Michonne: (Sharpens katana.) Joe: So, maybe, he's turning into like, some kind of were-hyena or something? Rick: These people are weak, and stupid. Without me in charge, they might feed their babies acorns. Or invite supervillains in to become zany room mates. Speaking of which, let's take over. That way they won't all get eaten by zombies until the season finale. Daryl: Arf! Carol: Yeah. We're gonna run this place. You pretty boys just go right on thinking that. Oh, and bring me a latte. Morgan: Hey, look. A tree. Hey, look. A map. Easiest. Paycheck. Ever.