novemberjenny

I’m only 15 minutes in but can I just say that I LOVE that they parodied the Crypt Keeper with Joan Collins! If you’ve never seen it it’s this bizarre, obscure British horror movie (nothing to do with the American TV series) ???

I thought I copied the quote up thread about dressing badly for funerals but I didn’t ? trust me, dressing like you’re going to a high school football game for a wedding isn’t just a southern thing. I’m from Indiana and it’s pretty prevalent here. My own brother-in-law wore jeans, gym shoes and a black knit polo to be a pallbearer at their grandmother’s funeral. My FIL and his brother were wearing jeans, sweatshirts and baseball caps. I went out and bought my husband a custom-tailored Michael Kors suit for the occasion so when I saw my in-laws dressed like they were going fishing, I nearly fainted. To answer the question about “themes,” I was a wedding planner in my other life (starting in the early 2000s) and I only started to see “themes” after about 2008/2009, AKA the dawn of the Pinterest wedding. Before that it was just colors. Like if you picked navy for your color, that was the bridesmaids dresses, napkins, ties, etc. I distinctly remember when candy bars (like where you have several kinds of candy, lol) started showing up. Then it was purple. EVERY wedding in 2009 had purple as the color. I got so tired of seeing purple. 2010 was when the mason jar/pearls/burlap/“country chic” shit started showing up. When I quit wedding planning in 2016 it was still going strong. Back to the show, lol. The Kentucky brides were appalling. Except the blonde one, Rachel, maybe? Where they live (Dry Ridge) is definitely hickish but holy shit these women were acting like anything other than beige-colored food was poison. Does the chick who won the honeymoon (the one with the weirdly tiny mouth- all I kept thinking of was Alec Baldwin making fun of trump on SNL - “a mouth like a little tiny butthole!”) realize that she’s not going to be able to eat fried chicken, beans and Mac & cheese in Mexico everyday? They may be forced to eat *gasp* actual Mexican food. Taiya seriously acted she was about 12. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an immature person on this show and I’ve been around since dirt, remember the girl who ordered chicken fingers at someone else’s wedding? The previous 2 episodes, it was believable that they were friends before the show. The four Kentucky brides went to high school together and the four girls from Atlanta went to college together, with the exception of one who met another at work. These girls on the most recent episode? I think it’s a stretch to call them anything more than acquaintances. Like someone said before, I think they were recruited at a bridal expo. Holly P’s wedding was so boring and generic. For a supposed “unlimited” budget the flowers she chose to go with were baby’s breath, roses and carnations? Destiny was so annoying, but her wedding was the clear winner. In my years of wedding planning, I only saw maybe a handful of weddings where the theme was truly carried out throughout the entire wedding and reception. It was “unlimited budget” weddings that were usually the tackiest. Annoying as she may be, Destiny put her heart and soul into that wedding. I wish she would have taken her flower crown off though. She looked like a Starbucks cup. Her meltdown about the dress was kind of funny....first of all, the dresses looked nothing alike and more importantly, no one attended both of the weddings to compare. I may be in the minority but I thought Destiny wore it much better. Holly P of course wore hers with one of those tacky-ass rhinestone necklaces they upsell you on at the bridal boutiques. The first girl to get married (wine episode,) forgot her name, spent $320 per guest? That’s absolutely outrageously expensive. They must have spent tons and tons and tons on alcohol. The average plated dinner is about $70-$90 per person not counting the alcohol. Buffets are much cheaper. With food stations, there’s an extra added cost because you have to pay the chef per hour. I would always tell brides to skip food stations. Long lines and hungry guests don’t equal a fun reception. The other Holly seemed so laid back. Her reception wasn’t awful but it was a bit odd to have it at the golf museum. They probably didn’t intend for the cocktail hour to go on that long but they could have at least had more than 1 appetizer. Another thing I would say to brides, it’s called cocktail “hour” for a reason! Don’t make your guests sit around!! The key to a good party is to keep the flow of events smooth and timely. Photographers would get completely carried away taking photos before the reception. They probably were running behind and didn’t get to take pictures before the ceremony. Take some photos before the reception but don’t make people sit around for longer than the listed time for a cocktail hour. You can always steal the bride and groom away during the reception to take photos. We left during ours for about 45 minutes to take pictures and I don’t think people even noticed ? they were too busy dancing and drinking. Well next week’s episode is girls from a dance team. Should be interesting!

Yes! I wish it wasn’t so gimmicky sometimes, too. I know they need to keep things relevant after what, 11 seasons? But I just wish it wasn’t so damn goofy sometimes. Like for starters, how about teaching them the basics instead of making a complicated dish with 40 ingredients and 80 steps? A burger is fine but a stuffed burger with a gazillion ingredients that the contestants can’t pronounce and have never heard of? It’s just another gimmick to make them look stupid. Speaking of stupid, I mean, COME ON. The producers have got to be feeding these people lines. You cannot convince me that the balloon girl with Betty Page bangs (can’t remmeber her name for the life of me - no matter, she’s mid-season emlination fodder if I ever saw it) has never in her life been to the produce section of a grocery store? Lacey (I think?) has never heard of dill? All 9 of them had trouble assembling nachos? Sports announcer guy has never in his life eaten Asian food? Just, come on. You can’t really be that dumb. I refuse to believe these people are that lacking in their cooking knowledge. Asaf’s dumb face needs to get off my screen. I cannot STAND him. I’m really not surprised Sylvia quit, but the real mystery is how she is a 47 year old stay at home mom and has managed to keep her family alive and well for her entire life. It’s also probably best she doesn’t have a real manager or supervisor to answer to; she seems to get frazzled at the slightest inconvenience and was practically weeping when Anne was asking her basic no-pressure questions. And to be honest, it’s not like she made an all-star dish that Anne poo-pooed. Her burger was poorly cooked and mediocre. Her side dish was pan-seared shrimp with no seasoning and corn she grilled on one side. ??‍♀️ Also, as a native Hoosier I am offended that the Indiana basket was pickles, eggs and saurkraut. WTF?

Don’t forget Asaf was also on Vh1’s Are You the One ? edit to add: I see others have noticed that Asaf is a serial reality show personality. He was AWFUL on AYTO. I hated his season so much I quit watching the show for awlile lol.

I counted 7 lol. They are just letting it all out this season! ? I mean I am 100% a potty mouth but this season is one titty away from being an HBO show.

Yeah, I'm right there with you. I had to take a deep breath after episode 1 and say to myself, "can I really handle a whole entire season of Sarah Paulson screaming and sobbing and bawling for 1 hour once a week?" But, I think it's more effective this season for some reason. For some reason it just doesn't bother me as much as it did last season.

"I'm am a grammar fanatic" - sorry had to tease you a bit there ? Evan Peters is deliciously terrifying. Between him, Cheyenne Jackson, and now Colton Haynes, I'm gonna need a cold shower after every episode ? Add me into the camp of Ivy is in on it. My best friend and I always watch together and she said after the episode, "wonder how much is in Sarah's head? Which makes me wonder were the cut wires real, was the bathtub scene or even gay neighbor coming over even real? I'm all in with this season. Let's just hope it doesn't lose steam like Roanoke did.

I LIVE for Elijah. Him reciting Kevin Costner's monologue from Bull Durham was hilarious. "That was amazing. Did you write that?" DEAD. Marnie's jewelry being worthless was SO spot-on. She is unbelievably self-centered and possibly one of the most unlikeable female TV show characters in long memory. Of course she would believe that she owned a locket from Wild Bill. I don't believe in her come-to-Jesus moment at all. And Allison Williams needs to eat a cheeseburger, yo. She is waaaaay too skinny. [Def. not trying to start a discussion on female body image, I just think she looks unwell and way too veiny.] Also, I think the one-liner winners of the night were "I know you're at the beginning of a very exciting and illustrious water-skiing career." & "Hey uh, you know a name I always thought was cool for a boy was Grover" ? Didn't miss Jessa, Adam or Ray one bit.

I really think she is. On the after the episode thing, she specifically said, "this episode starts the big season arc of Hannah's pregnancy." Marnie is Marnie. She will always find a way to circle the wagons back to it being everyone else's fault. Desi gives me life. His character has just gone around the corner into being absolutely ridiculous. I love that he was wearing that holey sweater with a snowflake scarf wrapped twice around his neck. Blink and you miss her - Shoshanna Everyone else has been far more eloquent in their analysis of Ray, but I will say that I think this is the first episode where I didn't like Ray. I don't know why. Maybe it's because (to me at least) Ray has always been a very smart and put-together person and he seems like the last character they'd give the "stuck in a bad relationship/epiphany moment" trope. Adam and Jessa - meh. Those two are a gasoline explosion at a fireworks store, and the less I see of them, the better. I L I V E for Elijah. I could watch a whole show just with him.

Desi screaming "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS FUCKING C*** PARADE???" may be the best line of the entire series ?

So I've been re-watching Murder House and know who was a guest star on episode 4? Adina Porter! She was the super boring lady Ben Harmon thought he killed, Sally. I wonder what they're up to with this supposed huge plot twist?