jjane

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mamas, near-Mamas, and Aunts who act like Mamas. For those of us who have lost our Mamas, I hope you have great memories.

@Marshmallow Mollie, I have to admit, my first thought when he said I would have to be sedated was that I would finally get some sleep. I feel like the last time I really slept was when I had a colonoscopy years ago. That was when they were still using propofol for it. I don't remember getting dressed and I slept for the rest of the day when I got home. That was the best.

Hi Guys, sorry it took a while to get back. So, my internist thought the breast specialist could do a biopsy in the office but he can't because of where the irregularities are and the way they are grouped. They will have to do the kind where I go the hospital and they sedate me. Unfortunately they can't do it till a week from Friday, so yay, ten more days to worry. Then they won't know anything for two to three days. All I can do is wait. He said these things are usually 85% benign. We'll see. Not a lot I can do right now. I'm bummed that we will have to reschedule our anniversary vacation that we take every year at this time, but its just a matter of throwing myself at the mercy of the reservations people. I've found if you have a good excuse and are nice to them they will do all they can to help you. In the meantime, the pain management doctor I guilted my internist into sending me to because he couldn't figure out how to handle my fibromyalgia pain or the pain from my bulging discs wants me to have two MRIs. I'll slide those in next week, along with talking about anesthesia at the hospital. The breast surgeon said I could do it over the phone but the hospital says no. In the meantime, thanks again for all the info and support. I hope all the mothers on here have a great Mother's day and that those who aren't can celebrate with their mothers. For those like me who have lost their mothers, I hope you have great memories of her, like I do of mine. I miss her every day.

Hi guys, just a quick update. I went back for another mammogram, this one hurt like hell. Because of the position of the abnormalities they wanted to look at they had to squish me top to bottom and side to side. The first compression wasn't bad but the second hurt so much I blurted out "holy shit". On the third I told the technician she could stop apologizing for the pain, it wasn't her fault, but please run back to her machine the minute I was set so it would be over as soon as possible. The fourth and fifth compression were even worse, but I survived. Radiologist still wanted an ultrasound after he saw the mammogram results. The room was quiet and cool, there was music, not a bad experience at all. That is, until the technician went to bring the scans to the radiologist and came back to tell me he had called my internist and I would have to go upstairs to see him for the results, which were that they want a biopsy now because there were several small areas that concerned them. Upshot is that I see the breast specialist tomorrow and possibly have a biopsy in the office, if not, outpatient at the hospital. Okay, so the update wasn't so quick, sorry. Just had to get it off my chest, so to speak. Hopefully the biopsy clears me, if not, I'll do what I have to do. Anyway, thanks to all the people who responded to the situation with support, prayers, good thoughts and information. I'm always amazed at the outpouring of love this group lavishes on each other, especially since we are such a diverse group.

A huge thank you to the lovely people who responded regarding dense breasts. It really helped a lot and I promise not to go on the internet and make myself crazy. It always helps to get answers from people who have been in the situation before. I've had a bad year, all my siblings flooded in the great flood of 2016 down here in August and I just got the last two out of my house two weeks ago, plus one of them, my little brother, died in January just as his house was almost redone. I was starting to take care of things I'd put off to take care of and help them, including doctor visits, and this hit me harder than it normally would have. Anyway, I appreciate the support more than you know.

Thanks, this was helpful. I tend to worry because all of my parents' siblings and their parents died of cancer. They didn't, however, so maybe I got the good genes. Just worrying because I skipped my mammograms for the last four years, was taking care of the parents till they died and things fell through the cracks. Can't help thinking it might be something bad and I could have caught it early. I'll know next week and go from there. I appreciate the support. This is a great group of people.

Does anybody have any experience with dense breast tissue? My mammogram came back with abnormalities and mostly the report talks about dense tissue and calcifications. Is this a big deal? Trying not to freak out and people on this board are such a diverse and thoughtful group I figured I'd put the question out there. Have to go back for another mammogram and ultrasound Monday and was fine till I got the report in the mail. Thanks in advance for any information you may have.

@zoomama, sending prayers and positive thoughts to you and your husband. Hope the doctors get a handle on this and he is soon home on the road to recovery. Take care of yourself too.

I'm so sorry Arwen, I've been through this with my husband and Happy's right, it sucks. But he made it and I pray that you will too. I don't post a lot but I feel like I know so many of you and you have all been wonderful to me when I needed it. Sending hugs, prayers, good wishes and anything else that might help to ease your mind. You will be in my thoughts. Please keep in touch when you feel up to it and know that we are here for you.

I realized I didn't answer you on this point. Yes, he was the one who was flooded. Once the carpet and walls were out to forestall mold, he moved in upstairs and stayed there when he was not in the hospital, which unfortunately was a good while. He was lucky to be referred to a contractor who came from Alabama to help with the reconstruction. This man fronted the money to start, waited on money from the insurance, and most importantly, was a good man. He brought in the groceries and laundry my brother picked up from me and took them upstairs. His men helped move whatever could be saved upstairs. He took him to pick up appliances and even took him to Walmart to buy a tire when he ruined one going over a curb. He did a great job on the house, told me he wanted to make it more masculine for him because it was pretty generic before. His suggestions always took his medical problems and disability into account, such as doing wood rather than carpet for stability and putting in a stairlift. There are truly angels among us and I thank God this man was in his life at this time.

You're right Happyfatchick, this too shall pass and in the end I have my husband and my sister's daughter and grandchild. Unfortunately this is the fourth death in the immediate family in less than two years and she has acted out every time. I am trying to remember that she is very seldom rational due to the fact that she self-medicates to escape from the mess she has made of her life. So, I will continue to take care of people whether they appreciate it or not because that is what Mama modeled for me and I will seek out people to listen when it is too much. I am familiar via this forum with your family trials, as well as those of others, and admire the strength I have seen. Which is why I came here with this, and I appreciate the support I have been given. All the full frontal hugs are truly welcomed and I hope to reciprocate when any of you need them. Much Love.

Well, we are catholic but sainthood seems a little far off. He is a wonderful man who would give you the shirt off his back and his last dollar. He doesn't show feelings a lot and I've been surprised when meeting new people when they tell me the way he talks about me, as in he thinks I'm great. He's also sixty-eight and spending his new retirement doing physical labor to fix the trailer himself because so many people flooded here that contractors are incredibly hard to find. I hope I go first because I don't know what I'll do without him after 37 years.

Wow guys, I can't begin to tell you how much your love and support means to me. I went to bed last night uplifted by the kindness my original post received and this morning there was even more. I think this is hitting me so hard because most of the family were affected by the devastating flood in August. My brother and sister lived in condos and their first floors flooded. Guess whose house they ended up at until they could rip out the carpet and walls downstairs and treat for mold so they could at least live on the second floor? Yep, mine. My sister's daughter and granddaughter lost everything when their trailer flooded. They've been in my fifth wheel camper ever since and are using my husband's truck for transportation. He bought himself a small used truck so he would have transportation. We brought our extra fridge to my sister so she could refrigerate her meds. The day before the flood my husband went over there and had to argue with them about bringing their cars to higher ground to save them, which he did by pulling them out of the parking lot that was starting to take on water. I couldn't get my niece to leave early because she said she had never flooded before. It took two boats, a stint on the roof of Dollar General, two army transport trucks and me and my husband to get her to us. In other words, when there is a problem, I'm the one figuring out a solution and banging my head against the wall when they refuse to see the problem. Fast forward to now, my husband has almost rebuilt the niece's trailer, my brother's condo was about a day away from being finished, and we, after spending months trying to get the sister to take the steps to deal with her insurance, finally were seeing some progress on hers, although she gave up and begged us to deal with the day to day. Now, after my brother finally succumbs to major medical issues, we get hit with this. I could deal with it for myself, because frankly this is the way its always been. Constantly fixing their messes and being kicked in the teeth. But my husband didn't marry these people and he's been right there with me helping them. So the fact that she is accusing him of theft when he's been killing himself rebuilding a trailer so her daughter and granddaughter will have a place to live makes me so sad but also so angry. I know the only thing to do is to put her out of my life, continue to help her daughter and granddaughter, and find a way to get over this. It's all mixed up with the way she neglected our parent's while they were alive and left everything to me while still bleeding them dry financially. I didn't get to this place in a week and I won't get over it in a week but I will do what I can when I can. In the meantime, if you're still reading, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your kindness and support.

Yes Arwen, it is. I've always been amazed at the level of kindness and support this community gives. I appreciate your kind words.

Thanks Love2dance. I'm usually the one who comforts other people and right now there's an eleven year old who's lost 4 people in less than two years to watch out for. My time will come. In the meantime the comfort of strangers is a big help.

Thanks so much jcbrown. I really just wanted somebody besides my husband to hear me. You don't know how much your reply means to me.

My little brother died Friday. He was the prince of the family and thought I lived to serve him, but I still miss him. My older sister has accused two of us of stealing money in his safe, although she was right there when it was opened. I'm the one who took care of our parents till their death, including financial support. We have paid my sister's and my brother's bills and bought them cars when they screwed up and the idea that we would steal money is so hurtful. She lives in a dream world of her own making because she can't handle real life, so I know we should just ignore this. She has also produced a one sentence will signed while he was in the hospital a week ago giving everything to her. Mostly it will turn out to be bills and a hoarder's level of stuff, not to mention a condo that is underwater, but it still hurts. Its so stupid to be upset about this that I hesitate to talk to anyone in real life about this, but I've seen how great everyone on this board is when people have problems, so here I am.