Klaw

I'm with Nanna, MissEwa & Nancybeth - I LOVE this episode! I think the moment Priestly sees Tuck and bursts out laughing is one of his best - series wide - and it always makes me chuckle. That scene and I guess the scene(s) where he's incredulous over Dottie having the hots for Jimbo and the Halloween episode ("Drift, small guy"/"Get lost, Ape"). Brandon as played by Jason Priestly is so fucking annoying and obnoxious most of the time that it's nice to actually enjoy Brandon. And ITA that I enjoyed the fact that this is something college kids would've done and they probably all would have gotten shit-faced while doing it - not just Kelly. But the staying up late confessing secrets to your group of buddies rings true. Although I agree that Stupid Kelly and her baby voice ruins what would have otherwise been a funny scene ... I loved Steve's "I never cheated on you, Kelly" and she's all "Oh, but you did cheat on Celeste!" Zing! Too bad it was coming from the biggest hypocrite ever. KELLY. Lovinbob - You win the Internet for the day. That shit is hilarious!!! "BECAUSE I AM NOT. ONEOFYOUR. FAAAAAANS!!!!!!" re: Jesse und Oooohndrea: Was it just me, or did his confession seem weak af? I mean, his delivery was way too matter of fact. It was like he was just admitting to his wife that he found a colleague cute, not that he fucked some random on a business trip. I don't know, that line reading just was way, way, way off. I know we aren't dealing with Oscar-worthy actors, but come the fuck on, Jesse.

SO MUCH THIS!!! IF Dylan had a soulmate it would either be Brenda or Toni. For the year or so that Kelly and Dylan dated, they were basically fighting the entire time, making eyes at other people (see, Brandon - square dancing, Brenda - fishing) and/or generally being wholly unsupportive to each other (see Dylan supporting Brenda for the animal rights thing, then the play and Kelly basically hating on the Scamily). Even by soap standards, their relationship didn't read as passionate and exciting but more like a hard, angry slog. So, yea, no way I ever bought that BS "soulmate" line. Always made me roll my eyes. And re: foxy Dylan, yea he looks pretty good for a change, the clothes add weight to his scrawny frame so that he actually looks like a man instead of a beanpole - and did he inherit one of those turtlenecks from Jack? Speaking of clothes, could Kelly have been wearing anything more beige and bland in the final scene? Talk about vanilla. Gah, I miss HS!Kelly. She was the best.

Know I'm late to the party - what a week! but I had satin shirts (or polyester "satin adjacent" shirts) ...in beige (or what I liked to call "champagne") and I think "berry" - remember when "berry" was a thing? And later I had a not-quite cropped short sleeve "satin" shirt. And, sadly, we saw the scrawny little "pony" tail more than once in the 90s. Remember Gwyneth Paltrow in "A Perfect Murder"? She wore one and I was always confused by it. Oh, the 90s ... This episode reminded me of how godawful blatantly sexist this show was. So David cheats on HIS girlfriend and ARIEL is the asshole slut? Val literally saves the day and SHE's a greedy asshole slut while Dylan is some kind of hero? Val asks to be paid for the job she did in Mexico and she still owes Jonesy for some undetermined job at some undetermined date? And no, guys, I find Wings Hauser gross and completely unattractive. I'm not saying the other guys (*cough* Ray *cough*) are any better, but, c'mon. And what was with Dylan and the old man robe? And Andrea and her "executive teen mom" outfit at the coffee shop? Jesus, these are the oldest looking 19/20 year olds in the world and wardrobe didn't help.

Or why 12-13 y o Erica couldn't have snuck a phone call or note to Dylan during the year they were on the lamb. I know that's young, but FFS, Erica. Kids that age aren't totally helpless and many can be quite savvy, even in the pre-internet, pre-cell phone for everybody era. And yea, the money thing still bugs. I looked it up, CurlyATX $10 million in 1980 would have been about $30 Mill, so it makes sense that this is the money Iris saved for Dylan. But WHY AM I THINKING SO DAMN MUCH ABOUT THIS SHOW!!!! UGH!!! I got Dylan (YIKES!) then Kelly (DOUBLE YIKES!) - don't know what that says about me other than I'm a selfish, self-absorbed asshole. Great. *slinks away to do the quiz again in hopes of getting Val or Andrea (lesser of the evils)*

Is she still a preteen in this ep? Isn't Erica supposed to be around 13 by now? She was 12 when they showed up on her doorstep (although she acts about 8 y o) - seriously, how old is that girl supposed to be? Yea, I know. Ugh. But I loved how Finley went from magnanimous to straight up Kook in, like, 60 seconds. And I loved Brandon's shitty pants look when Finley called him out for lying. And how realistic would it be for a sophomore to become a Professor's TA? I thought that would be reserved for Grad students or at least upperclassmen? And I'll say it again. Why is it only $8 Mill? What happened to the "10s of Millions of Dollars" he was set to inherit when he was diddling the Horse Lady? Is it because Jack lost everything and the only money was what his Mother saved for him? I don't get it. But anyhoodle, I will say that $8 Mill, while a shitload of money, isn't exactly a life long fortune for a 20 year old who has no college education, no career, is in and out of rehab, and lives in an expensive city. Just sayin...He'd be broke by 40.

ITA MCMLXXVII, but even in the 90s, I think the cracks were starting to show. For instance, I was by no means "in the business" (although I was futzing around the edges working stupid jobs at studios at the time) but there were whispers even amongst the little people like me that Scientologists were weirdos and that, for example, Bill Cosby wasn't a good guy (although I had no idea of the extent of it). It just goes to show how much the Internet really turned over rocks, even for 'Open Secrets" like that. Because the lingo is so good for this show, i have to wonder if the writers (not known for their finesse) had actual experience in a cult? Because haven't you heard? St. Kelly of the golden Vajayjay can't help it if people keep falling madly in love with her and she them. Once she ascends to Sainthood, she can do no wrong. Which is why I always found her reaction... ..so hypocritical and over the top. It's also hilarious everyone falls all over her when you have someone smokin' hot, like Val, right next to her...SMDH.

Me too. I lived in LA in the 90s and I definitely recall me and my GenX friends talking about Scientology, even then, being "like" a creepy cult and staying far away...we had no idea...

You're all a bunch of NEGATORS!!! God, I love this storyline so much. I was a little kid when Jim Jones went down and I remember being totally freaked out by cults and reading the news and magazines (Time, anyone?) about it - my parents were pre-boomers so they weren't so big on the helicoptering thing, I can't believe the stuff we watched/read/listened to, you whippersnappers have no idea. Ok I digress. But I do remember being all, "when I grow up, I'm NEVER going to join a cult." To watch Kelly get sucked in at the same time Val is all "Are you F'ing kidding me?" And I love that Val aced the final without showing up or using St. Kelly's notes. HA HA HA Suck it CULT!KELLY! So agree with Tara. Don't friggin' tell a roomful of people how you basically threw an innocent girl in front of you to save face (literally) KELLY. Remember S1 & 2 Kelly? Sigh. Oh and $8 Million? That's nothing to sneeze at, but it's not like ALOT of money, certainly not by Beverly Hills standards, even in the 90s. Why did the writers always have to deflate costs (like with the ridiculous rent at a beachfront 3BR apartment)? I don't get it...Anyone have any clue as to why it was $8 mill as opposed to $80 mill or $100 mill? Which would have made his breakdown seem more realistic. SMH.

ITA. We must all pay the price for Gabby's insistence that the show write in her pregnancy. She just was never believable as a "teen!mom!struggling!" after that - she looked about 1,000 years old next to the rest of the cast. I actually liked the storylines that actually could have tracked with real college life in the 90s - your whacked out friend getting involved in a cult, stealing the mascot from a rival school, sexual harassment of a student by a professor, rape on college campuses (although as usual, 90210 fucked it up) - the other stuff was just stupid. Yep. He's an ass. There's a scene when Steve is passed out in the trashed KEG house and when Brandon comes by to pick him up, he's moaning about his hangover - that was the college experience. I also appreciated how Val was not a big drinker but loved her weed - pretty consistently throughout the course of the series. I knew kids like that and I always felt it was an authentic characteristic.

OMG! I think you were talking about my post (S5EP08)! You guys gave me a shout out!! After being in a pit of despair since Tuesday night, y'all have made my week! Thank you!!!

Princess Sparkle, I love you! How did I forget about "CRISPY TITS"??? Anyone who has never seen it, but loves English shows and/or soaps need to get on it, stat. So much cheesy goodness. Even before I became a lawyer, I knew better than to have some fucking random non-lawyer interjecting bullshit in an attorney client meeting. And you think she would've known better as well, considering how popular shows like Law & Order and L.A. Law were by that point (not that those are always accurate, mind you, but such protocol is so fucking basic that someone like Andrea would know). And Jessie? Send your dipshit wife out of the damn room when you consult with a client or better yet go to the CLINIC at the law school. UGH shut the hell up OOOOHndrea. The Balloon Pants. Just why. Does Jason think they make him look ... taller? Or something? I don't understand. Love Cult!Kelly! I may just have to rewatch those.

Yep. I also don't like how they turn the lone "blue collar" kid into the wife-beating stereotype of the guy from the wrong side of the tracks. All they needed was to put him and Mama Pruitt into a double-wide. That fire WAS scary, but I would've thought they would've passed out before they were burned, right? And burning happens really fast - the firefighters must've been close to rescuing them or they both would have died horribly but quickly. I don't understand how this works, not that I want to find out... I'm sorry, there's no way your hair looked as bad as ol' Ems' monstrosity. I don't think anyone on a TV soap, no less, has ever had a more horrendous haircut. Not only was it ugly in general, it was like they weren't even trying to flatter her features. I think the best her hair looked was in the Thxgiving ep when it was a little longer. Some women look amazing with short hair (Halle Berry, Michelle Williams, to name a couple) but Christine Elise ain't one of them. Just no. ...But I remember enjoying a little schadenfreude watching Kelly getting a taste of her own medicine with Brandon cheating on her, it was just too bad she had to be simultaneously almost burnt to death in a a fire and all...

Nope. Older than y'all (but not 50!) And because I loved Heathers and ShanDO, I started watching 90210. To all of you early 40 and under folks - GET OFF MY LAWN!!! I love, however, that I am still younger than a lot of the actors... tee hee... Speaking of age, does anyone know how old the guy who plays Alex Diaz is? I ask because even for the show, he looked old as hell - and they never clarified whether he was a grad student or what. But even for a grad student he looked, like, 35 - not to say you can't be a grad student at 35+ (Hey, Cindy!) but it was just so jarring to me because usually more, ahem, mature students truly would not give a fuck about student government. They would just want to get their degrees and get on with their lives. Even next to Nana Ohndrea he looked ancient.

I'm surprised no one commented on what THE FUCK Janice was wearing. I mean.. Jesse wore a suit, Brandon wore a suit. And Law Student Janice wears a fucking baby doll dress at what's supposed to be a serious proceeding? When I was in law school, we wore suits for moot court or whenever we had "official" business. And Alex Diaz and his forking Denim Jacket. What, minorities don't know how to dress appropriately? WTF. I actually liked Val's longer bob (loved the short one too). Very Jo Beth Reynolds. Speaking of Melrose Place, I still say Alison Parker's rehab was more fun than Dylan and the old man. At least Alison got her groove on with a drunk football star. Kelly - those photos? Bad hair. Too much make up and... cat butt smirk. The random clips in the hair. What in the what now? No. Just, No, show.

True. But I think the writers were trying to make him look "conflicted" and "noble" because he's so "sensitive" and "upstanding" or some shit. I don't know, it seems like the writers are always trying to write the "heros" with the intent to put them in the best light (e.g. Brandon becoming the reluctant Prez, Kelly being the reluctant Cover Girl, Donna's sainthood, etc.) but instead they always come off like entitled, whiny, bitchy assholes. In any event, he sure comes across better than the law student (Janice, I think?) not understanding the First Amendment, Menacing Hispanics (Alex Diaz and his Denim Outfit of disdain), Screechy Jews and Angry Black people (is there any other kind on this show?) Oh and former Freedom Riders who have no idea why! why?! they would want to keep the signs of the Hate Crime visible - GMAFB. So stupid. Of COURSE Dean Whitmore would understand. Good grief, show. Oh D'Shawn. I love you. Why couldn't we have had a show where D'Shawn was a series regular instead of the guy they trot out to stamp Brandon's woke card. Ugh. And Wow Grandma Rose was on a roll this episode. First, noticing how her fucking granddaughter looks like a little boy who DIED IN A FUCKING CONCENTRATION CAMP. Lovely, sentiment, Grandma. Then, "You're so well-spoken" to Janice. I remember cringing HARD at that line.

Agree with all who thinks Kelly was out of line to make comments about Val. Fuck right off Kelly, she became such a hypocrite - I actually loved Kelly right up and through the SOD and then this holier-than-thou, prissy, perma-catbutt-mouth bitch replaced her. It got so bad that I started enjoying all the ways the show messed with her. I hear you TxHorns and agree Val was outright lying about stuff (which I hated), because, as Sarah points out, it would have been soooooo awesome if Val had just been to Steve and Kelly "yep, I've been f*cking, Dylan - didn't see us as being an exclusive thing, FRAT BOY." I mean, it's okay for the guys to fuck around and Dylan to have a "different girl every night" but Val's a 'ho? Sadly, the ridiculous sexism of this show was mostly lost on me (and I've been a feminist since HS - sigh). And, Kelly...? It's none of your GOTDAN business. honestly. As for the show, I hate, hate, hate whenever they try to tackle "the big issues." Why is it, that it is always written to make the white, straight male (Brandon) look like the reasonable "good" guy? I mean, they had the stereotypical "pushy"/"strident" Jewish people a, "well-spoken" black woman, a couple of "ANGRYBLACKS" ... it's like they have to hit all the stereotypes just to make sure people with legitimate issues look like assholes while a waffling, ineffectual, no-nothing, privileged white boy is supposedly the one with all the integrity. Gah. Hate!!!! In other words, it's definitely not good to look at this show through a 2016 lens.

Oh God, now it's coming back to me. I still don't get the portobello mushroom thing. Amen. Wasn't this around the time that Kate Moss was the shizz? No way Kelly had that "waif/heroin chic" look. She is so not a model - and I don't mean that as criticism, but it was just asking for us to suspend way too much disbelief. Similar to the Donna as Tootsie shoot in Paris. And why WHY? did the writers think making the characters reluctant for something (Brandon running for student body office, Kelly as model...) made them more likeable or sympathetic? If anything, it made them more insufferable. You're telling me a 20 year old college sophomore would turn down a shoot with Seventeen magazine? Girl, miss me with that Bullshit (or, if you were in fact the type of girl to turn it down, then you would've, y'know, turned it down - what's with the griping?)

Any ideas what a totally "fancy" - but disgusting - dish would have been served in LA in 1994 if not aspic? Anyone? I was living in LA in 1994 and as I was broke, I have no idea what the hoi polloi would've been eating... I only remember hearing about aspic when Carrie met the Russian for their first date and referred to it as "meat Jell-O" ... *shudder*

ITA - I think it's because the parents were all pros and grown ups. I loved all the parents, acting wise (yes, even annoying Jim) - he had the same antiquated attitudes of a lot of Boomer men about women, it's like they couldn't help themselves - all that 50s era bullshit they grew up with just came out.

I was coming here to see if anyone else noted how Mad Men-esque Steve's rant was. I had graduated from college by 1994, and I don't think any 19-20 y o guy would shout "the bottle you're trying to crawl out of, PAL!" I mean, what in the what now? I wouldn't even say that NOW in my 40s, let alone when I was barely out of my teens. I freaking love Cindy. I always liked her scenes with Dylan. And I do wish they would have kept her around, kind of like they do later in the series with Jackie, Mel, Rush and the other parents. Have her and Jimbo divorce (he and his chest hair can stay in Hong Kong forever), finish her masters and become a therapist or something and live in a condo in BH. Or you know you're an old when you'd rather watch the parents interact than the fucking insufferable kids. Finally, the award for Best Drunk in the Spelling Ouevre has got to be Allison Parker, hands down. Nothing compares to her drunken antics on Melrose Place. Sorry, Luke Perry!

Oh yea!!! I forgot about that. Good point. And wasn't she basically fluent in Spanish? Why is she acting like Mexican-Americans being - shock! - catholic is such a big damn deal? Apparently, her parents let her choose her faith, why can't she just let Hannah do the same?

Um, I hate to break it to you Ooooohndrea, but A: according to Jewish law, you're not "really" Jewish either. Didn't we have to hear about Grandma Rose c. Lainie Kazan disapproving of Andrea's mother because she wasn't Jewish? So that meant it was Andrea's Dad who was Jewish, not her Mom. And B: if you are the child of an interfaith couple, why are you having such a fucking hard time dealing with the concept of being in one with Hannah? UGH. This show.

Me too. Between the cults, friendly neighbourhood dictators and chasing the Dragon misadventures, we don't see a lot of them just being normal college kids having normal college fun. Now, I went to an anti-sport, totally apathetic school so I wouldn't know from experience, but I do know my friends and I got up to all kinds of pranks with our dorm mates and stuff that you can only do in college (usually fuelled by too much cheap beer, but that's another story :-)...

*dying* I don't know who Pepe the Frog is, but this image just seems so spot on, I just cracked up. She really does look like some sort of bleached blonde frog in drag...

OMG THANK YOU ANDYSMITH!!! How did you know that happened to be my all-time favourite Amanda on-the-loose clip. Another one "I'd rather sleep on a grate" after the complex got blown up by Kimberly. Amanda was at her best when she was ripping someone (usually Alison) a new one. ITA Princess Sparkle/Fozzybear - I enjoyed the MP reboot as well. And I loved Katie Cassidy on Gossip Girl too!