Yours Truly

I agree and they actually did a piss poor job of relating the situation. It's hard to speak up for your friend when your not ready to say something with your whole chest. Oh and as much as I love love love Jennifer that was a serious misstep. Garcelle did it too. "Sutton feels........" if you are going to start with Sutton feels whatever, you better follow it with and I actually agree that's also how I saw it. Cause you just basically said Sutton was complaining about them and that's it. Not that you and Jennifer were also listening to her grievances and agreeing and supporting her as well. Not to mention, JENNIFER was the one that felt like the conversation was rehearsed. SHE was the one that voice that particular opinion about how that went down NOT Sutton. When they went and did that they were actually sharing how they felt about what happened and framed it as Sutton's perspective and that's what I mean about Garcelle somewhat muted "support" of Sutton.

I was trying not to reference that but yes Garcelle has made it a point to bring in that detail which I completely understand however some of these conversations can be had without that always being an issue. Mainly with her friend Sutton. I would think she would be able to have a sensitive conversation with Sutton without the tone getting so wildly out of hand that she may be seen that way. I get it during the ridiculous cat fights and name calling and accusations that go one at one event after another but sometimes she does contribute and it goes up in a puff of smoke as quickly as a joint in a Cheech and Chong recreational vehicle. I think she comes across as very calculating at times and not just reserved for fear of being labelled. I think it's in her nature to be somewhat lowkey and well spoken but what i mostly get from that is that she mainly wants to stay out of the fray and avoid getting in the mud. I have nothing against that either but when you want to throw some stuff in the ring and get stuff moving then I'm not a fan of her hanging back while the others start clucking out in the hen house. Oh sure she's give us a blurb and a good facial expression as well as a mocking giggle laugh but she tends to avoid real elaborate exchanges that rise to the level of an actual conversation. Even her conversations have a beginning middle and end that last only a minimal amount of time. There's a precision to the conversations she's had over the years. Basically she's always playing it safe even when she has conflict. I can understand the fear of being labelled but she's already established her demeanor as rather calm and reserved so my opinion is it's more about staying as neutral as possible than it is about being labeled.

I've been Okay with Garcelle since she started the show but she's not necessarily a favorite. She's so limp with her position of things I get very annoyed. Yeah, yeah, great on Garcelle that she's "chimed" in on behalf of Sutton but that's about as strong as she ever is. A chime. Now I don't knock her approach, I get that she doesn't want to come across as sloppy and bothered as the others but damn. She really is very sparse with her contributions. I'm happy she's had Suttons back somewhat but the way she goes after Kyle for not jumping in to defend Sutton is pretty old. And I have to say her saying that she left Sutton hanging just to highlight how Kyle DIDN'T wasn't a good look at all. Also, I'm not to keen on her pointing out that she left her hanging because she chose Kyle a couple of episodes ago. Garcelle really wanted to go after Kyle regarding Morgan and Mo etc. etc. but Sutton said that at some point when someone asks not to bring someone's name up then they need to comply. I wasn't really mad at Sutton for that cause to be honest Sutton nagged her all last season and has decided to back off. Now Garcelle is mad that Sutton "didn't have her back" while quite frankly, trying to be a mean girl cause that's how I saw it. Garcelle is pretty calm and reserved when she makes her points but at the end of the day Garcelle's big grievance was that Sutton wasn't on board to grill Kyle some more? It's kinda lame and reeks of trying to pit Sutton against Kyle when she knows at the end of the day Sutton doesn't really want to do that. Look, I'm all for Sutton getting her head out of her ass and not being so thirsty for Kyle's friendship but Garcelle taking it personally and using it against Sutton isn't it. Garcelle dances around shit too much and doesn't really have a point blank period conversation. The night she stormed out she kinda just went, "oh, okay, noted" and walked off. Garcelle doesn't seem to be as direct or firm when trying to express to Sutton what's really bothering her. Oh, she's discussed it with others and is a little clearer in her talking heads but in her actual conversations she's too minimal and she shies away from just laying it all out on the table. That annoys me about Garcelle. My guess is that somewhere during the reunion she gets called out for that. I mean I could be wrong and they actually have more to the point conversations off camera but the way Sutton reacted to Garcelle walking off saying the next day that that was their first fight leads me to believe that their relationship usually stays on the lighter side and they most likely avoid conflicts or sensitive conversations. I was hoping they had a stronger friendship but friends should be able to be blunt and say things you need to hear even if you don't like it and to me Garcelle never truly says anything with her chest. To Sutton or her castmates. Even during some of the more tense interactions Garcelle is very subdued. I get not wanting to be labeled.... but at the same time some of these conversations can still be had without having that concern.

I had no qualms with my mother (RIP) and loved her. I Didn't have to detach or live in denial. I just was able to see with adult eyes what the realities were with regards to her life as well as mine. I'm not telling people what they HAVE TO do but I just wanted to share my take and what has helped for me. I chose a path that allowed me to shed a lot of unnecessary weight and clutter and allowed me to appreciate the time I had left with her. It doesn't mean that I didn't face a lot it just means that luckily I was able to make sense of it enough to move forward in a positive way. I just know that I'm grateful that I realized that I hold all the power and with that first step the rest followed. It's a feeling that makes you want to share it with others without shame or apology. But I do appreciate your assessment.

Well I mean we all give insight. Based on what we've been through. I was just sharing mine like we all do here on the boards.

That isn't for you to say but then again, considering your take, I'm not surprised. A person should not have to list all their personal traumas and bad experiences. A persons upbringing can cause them to react and treat others in a way a lot of people would find unacceptable. I personally think making assumptions as well as minimizing another persons experience is rather disappointing regardless of one’s background. However, there seems to be room for tolerance and understanding based on some traumas and yet not others. Apparently, as in the case Suttons Mom, she should have “grown enough” and “learned enough” regardless of her traumas to warrant a change in her behavior and yet the same sort of evolving isn’t to be expected of all. Interesting. My point is, that it’s all a moving scale with no real answers. The only answers we can truly find lie within ourselves. Nobody is saying that trauma doesn’t exist. It’s just that defining it and having the slight chance of healing from it will always remain in the hands of oneself. However it’s done is completely up to the individual in question. Someone who has found a healthy path out of childhood trauma shouldn’t be scoffed at or ridiculed. Others find their way and some do not. It’s still sad all the way around. But regardless, Hopes that everyone finds what they are looking for.

But when you don't get it I think it's totally reasonable to move on because at the end of the day how much of your life are you going to waste? If a parent wasn't capable of it when a child was a child (and let's face it, children are the biggest motivation to do your best because they are vulnerable and developing and helpless) then what makes anyone think it will get better with age? It can and does for some and that's awesome but for those that make the attempt and go through the therapy and learn and build the confidence to make that confrontation only to be met with resistance and denial... then what? All I'm saying is, after an attempt has been made and all you get is more of the same then it's time to take matters into your own hands and determine what YOUR next moves are and not contemplate other strategies to get the response you want. That, to me isn't healing. If the other side isn't willing to do the work there really isn't nothing left to do. Try to be in control of who another person "Should Be" isn't a healthy path to be on. And yes even if that other person is your parent. Not to say resentment, hurt and anger is not warranted. Just saying that letting it linger disguised as an attempt at closure and resolution just prolongs the pain and delays the healing. **speaking as the daughter of an alcoholic mom who never said she loved me or gave out hugs.

But we are all kids aren't we? At some point right? What makes a parent's trauma any less important than the adult child in question? This is a puzzle I find the most intriguing. We are ready to give such empathy to GROWN adults with childhood issues but the GROWN adults who are their parents are somehow a different breed where we should lack empathy? So because Suttons mom is of the generation that can't really logically wrap their head around what is being asked of them that makes them cruel and terrible people? Breaking the cycle means moving forward and doing things the way you believe would be better for your family. Receiving support is always helpful but to me, for my healing I just chose to understand that everyone is wired differently and not everyone can shift into a new mindset and that doesn't have to mean the worst. Sure, it can be disappointing but we get to chose if we will allow it to keep having a heavy impact on our lives. The best we can do is nurture ourselves as best we can with whatever support we do have. Putting your healing in the hands of the person who was shortsighted enough to create the trauma in the first place seems like a fools errand to me. Just saying.

See that's where we as a whole (in life) fail terribly. We assign parents obligations that aren't actually automatic. We seem to think that parent HAS TO BE XYZ because "that's what you do for your child". There's no magic switch that turns you into a completely different person. Yeah, parental instincts kick in sure but it has to be based on who you are as a person not who society has dictated what a parent should be. It saddens me to see how selfish of a society we've become where all I hear are DEMANDS of "I expect my parent to learn, change and apologize TO ME...." with little to no understanding or care to understand the realities their own parents faced. There are a lot of self centered adults out their hiding behind their childhood trauma making them think it's okay to villainize every misstep or mistake a parent has made and man oh man is that something else. Different Generations dealt with different things and even now we live in a society that preaches not to parent shame each other cause EVERYONE is going through something and parenting is hard and the guilt is real and all that jazz but these will be the same people parent shaming the older generation because they did it the only way they knew how. And this whole, loophole about, well I can understand they didn't know back then but they should know and be better now is still a load a crap. How you gonna take a 50-60-70 year old, point fingers and dictate to them how they NEED to act now and demand remorse? Tell them they are shitty and they need to apologize for their whole existence because they just so happen to be a product of the times. It's just so unrealistic to try and rewire a persons brain to that degree. I would do anything for my son cause I love him to death but if he were to come to me 30 years from now with a list of grievances and complaints and rudely shame me into feeling like a terrible person I would hear his words, give him my apology and then put it to bed. It's the part where I hear people wanting a whole slew of admissions of regret, remorse and shame before moving on that sounds so unhealthy to me. All I know is that if making my mother feel shitty and ashamed was what I needed to heal I'd gladly stay wounded and she was an alcoholic that gambled and stayed out late. But the house was clean, she kept us fed and kept us healthy with regular Doctor and dentist visit but that woman had demons galore. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and if I'm that damaged that I need that sort of pain from someone else to feel better than I need more than just "accountability" from them. That's a whole different level of damaged that torturing your parents ain't gonna fix. I'm not denying the trauma or the healing that a lot of people need its just the method of said healing that's displayed now a days. Doesn't seem like healing to me. Just seems like a lot of standing still and holding on to demons NO ONE can exorcise but oneself. Oh and newsflash, it really isn't that uncommon to be left unfulfilled by a parent. I'm not saying it's not painful but at the end of the day people disappointing you is a way life including parents. Making this into something people have to survive to this degree, when it's such reality in life is just setting everyone up to fail. It's not that I'm cold hearted I'm just pragmatic. Sometimes accepting people for who they are and not taking it personally, yes even parents is one of the most freeing and healing things you can do for yourself. Giving the bitterness life and longevity just steals everyone's joy for the time that's left.

That's the thing. Just because he's free to do as he pleases I'm not understanding need to. Even if he's ready to move on and do his thing, if it's like that and he is anxious to put it out and about like that then hello that's what a divorce is for. If he's completely checked out and ready to be this single dude about town then in my mind there's no reason to delay. I just think it's a bit callous to be this enthusiastic about your single status while still married with no definite talk of divorce on the horizon. Again, I get it, they are separated but it's just the gusto that leaves a bad taste.

Kyle is far from my favorite housewife but I do get annoyed when people act as if separated is the same as single. People separate for different reasons and to be honest I think it's in bad taste to run around as if you are completely single while you're still navigating the end of a marriage. Especially in this case where neither have actually committed to the idea of a DEFINITE divorce. Like ill... You've got a whole family but the first thing that has to be on the agenda is intimate socializing all over the world? Sometimes I think people believe that one MUST immediately get into the "scene" after a split. There are so many important components to finalizing a whole life together and finding new ground but nope. Let's go out and worry about superficial details first and foremost. Paaaaarrrrttttyyyy.... I really don't get this mentality that intimately palling around with the opposite sex is such a "must have" thing. It's okay to not be on someone's arm 2.5 seconds after the last one and at the very least finish putting a period to the last chapter before behaving as if that last chapter meant nothing. I really just don't get the callousness of this phenomenon. There are so many more important things in this world then finding the next one to share your bed. It's sad really.

This is how I see things. Not to body shame or be mean but style really does mean something. Fashion can be subjective, creative and has range but STYLE... that's the technical and beautiful ART of it all. To make it drape and flow and accentuate in a particular way the shape it's adorning. I really enjoy the "LOOK" of it all so when people act as if all the components of style don't need to be just right I get annoyed because a true fashionista will care about the style and the look of it all and how it all comes together completely with jewlery, shoes, purse, hair, makeup etc. etc. etc. not just the garment itself. So yes my darlings the body is definitely a part of the equation. No matter the size or shape, you can look fabulous no matter what but please, please, please take into account what will and will not drape you in the most fantastic way because that's the fun. Slaying in a particular piece that works specifically for YOU. What could be more satisfying than having a garment applaud your perfect body (whatever shape that may be). Too much energy is placed on the garment being the star when it should at the most be YOUR Co-Star. Sutton walks around as a non billed extra in her fashion journey and it saddens me so.

I mean it's a pretty easy thing to understand. Not really all that hard to piece it together. I don't like low blows but when it's in response to someone who's overstepping (continuous alcoholic insinuations) then I'm really not going to pull the whole Michelle Obama "They go low we go high".... It's just such a pretentious mindset and actually pretty irrelevant when discussing housewives drama. It just doesn't fit... LOLOLOL

Well she doesn't pretend because I've seen her exhibit manners on the show many times. and believe you me I don't come to my conclusions based on how OTHER people feel about her actions, yes even Jennifer Tilly. I'd like to think I have more range in my thinking ability.

-One can be shrugged off. -The other can have legal reprecussions. But I mean, okay, I guess it's all measured with the same stick then... hmmm. It's the lack of nuance that's creating the disconnect but that's typical for a Housewives show. 🤷‍♀️