Snarryfan

It struck me watching this after listening to Hamilton that the letters from General Washington would have all been written by A. Ham himself.

Poly people do form commitments to more than one person--and sometimes the members of the couple are both seeing the new person. As for open marriages--it can be fun for the single person. You get to be the naughty guest star in someone's fantasy and then leave. Everyone has fun and often you become friends. Whenever I read this thread I remember why I have no interest in online dating but doing what I do I get to have fun, meet nice people, and enjoy myself in a safe environment.

Back from seeing Don Juan in Soho in London. It's brilliant. Sharp, cruel, sexy, and very funny. David Tennant is brilliant. If you get the chance to see him onstage...do it! The play wouldn't work in the States so I am glad that I spent the $ to hop across the pond. And since I'm going to write it up for Theatre Journal I can write it off on my taxes :) I saw it Saturday night and I am still processing my thoughts on theme, character, and intent which to me means the play did exactly what good theatre should.

I check in with this topic regularly as I am a big theatre person (have a PhD in Theatre History and everything) but this is my first post here. I just had to because in May I am flying to London for the weekend to see David Tennant in Don Juan in Soho. First time the play has been revived since its initial run in 2006 and I am soooo excited. I adore Tennant and the play promises to be amazing!

Also, there are SW: TFA fics being written with A/B/O dynamics. So if your kink is Poe knotting Fin, mazel tov, if not, none of my business.

Putting them in fic together isn't shipping. Shipping is hoping that there will be a relationship between the 2 characters. Writing darkfic or non-con fic with the 2 characters isn't shipping them--it's writing scenarios using the existing text. There is also fic with Kylo and Poe that explores the exact same dynamics.

Or there are people who are into dub-con/non-con and they shouldn't be kink shamed. Not everyone who finds Kylo/Rey an interesting dynamic to explore in fic is interested in "woobifying" him.

I think it's incredibly unfair that someone should have to come out before they are ready just to appease mean-spirited people. Clay Aiken and Ricky Martin were the subject of mean spirited gay jokes for years before they came out. One of the goals fought for by Gay Liberationists (and trans advocates in more contemporary times) was that everyone should feel free to come out but no one should be forced to come out.* *Except for people who actively engage in anti-gay discrimination, "family values" campaigns, or work for media that endorses that POV, who are also banging guys--those people deserve to be outed as hypocrites.

That story is being told. It was told in an evocative Frontline special about trans kids, it's being told on Becoming Us on the ABC Family Network, it's being told on I Am Jazz on TLC, it's being told in Transparent, it's being told in Orange is the New Black, and it's being told in news specials (like NBC) about trans adults and trans kids. The "media" always focuses on pretty people, rich people, well-spoken people. It's why Andrew Sullivan became a self-annointed spokesperson for the gay community, even though he's a giant hypocrite, while Dan Savage is still looked at as problematic by the "mainstream." Will and Grace, Queer as Folk, the L Word, and Queer Eye were exceedingly popular but none of those shows highlighted the experiences of the poor/people of color/gender-non-conforming/disabled. And that has always been the case with media--and too often the media deals with minority stories as 1) Hopeful inspiration; 2) Tragedy. The one thing I take away--Caitlyn is not being treated like a Freak. Is there an overabundance of media saturation, yes. Is that all her? No. Is some of it her? Yes. It would be fabulous if E! did a show about a poor quadroplegic Latina transwoman. But, and to quote the West Wing, "it would make the cast of Up With People sit down and cry."

I did. We went to Disneyland when I was about 18 months old and my parents were constantly stopped so people could look at my long eyelashes.

I assume you feel exactly the same way about Brandy Norwood, who killed a woman and then went on DWTS, Rebecca Gayheart, who ran over and killed a child and faced no charges, and Matthew Broderick who killed a woman in Ireland because he was confused by driving on a different side of the road. Accidents happen every day in cars--if she wasn't drunk, texting, exceeding the speed, or acting in a manner that implied malicious intent or overt compromising of her integrity...what is supposed to happen? I briefly zoned out driving home on a route I took everyday and slammed my car into the back of a truck. I was giving a $100 ticket and my insurance rates didn't even go up. Shit happens. Every time you step in a car you do so with the understanding you can be killed by your actions or the actions of another. If this woman had been killed by anyone other than Caitlyn Jenner no one would give a fuck and her adult stepkids wouldn't be looking to cash in.

She was at Pride in West Hollywood--it was a few weeks ago. She was apparently at an LGBT Republican booth taking photos with people. She was overshadowed by Channing Tatum and Matt Bomer dancing on the Magic Mike XXL float.

The interesting thing with all the accusations of being a famewhore...Caitlyn Jenner hasn't said a word nor been seen 'out' since her Diane Sawyer interview. She has made 4/5 tweets and been heard in voiceover or on tape...but she hasn't been snapped by the paps, she isn't giving interviews, she has been absent. That may be why the coverage can seem so insane--she isn't out there doing follow-ups or talking to media. IMO for someone to be famewhorish they have to be out their being a whore for attention...apparently Caitlyn was in San Francisco visiting the HRC.

Chaz Bono is not equitable because he was known as a child of famous people rather than a public figure in his own right. And while it may not be PC to say--the transitioning of an out butch lesbian to a man did not garner the same sort of coverage because it a) played it incorrect stereotypes about lesbians; b) there has been a noticeable issue in the lesbian community of people coming out as trans men, to the point where it has caused a rupture within the queer community (Google Michigan Womyn's Festival.) Laverne Cox became famous after her transition, she did not come out as trans and then transition in the public eye. The most apt comparison to Caitlyn Jenner would be the transition of Lana Wachowski whose gender identity was the subject of speculation for many years and she finally came out as a trans women a few years ago (when Cloud Atlas premiered). However, the Wachowski's are notoriously press-shy and do not give interviews--much of the speculation was due to Lana's marital issues and participation in the fetish community. Caitlyn Jenner's openness has the potential to be a paradigm shift because she has been known to so many generations. The Greatest Generation and Baby Boomers knew her as the Olympic Hero who took down the Soviets. Gen X knew her from that, the Kardashian show, and arguably Can't Stop the Music if they are into cult culture, and Millennials know her from the Kardashian show. For example, I have tried to explain transgender identity to my mother for years (my specialization was gay male sexual culture and queer pop culture in grad school) she never got it. Now with Caitlyn Jenner--it makes more sense for her because Caitlyn Jenner gives voice to trans identity to older people in a way that I think some trans groups have struggled with. As for Jenner being responsible for highlighting the racial, ethnic, and class discrimination faced by trans people of color--that is unfair and speaks to the schism that exists within all minority communities. Feminist groups have issues because the experiences of white women do not correspond to those of women of color; gay rights organizations have loooong been criticized for addressing white normative gay male issues; the NAACP is critiqued for not addressing the needs of the black gay community, and on and on and on. I hope that every Republican candidate gets asked "which bathroom should Caitlyn Jenner use?" I want their narrow bigoted views exposed to the world so everyone can understand that you don't need to go see Jurassic World to see dinosaurs roam the earth.

Not all women are nurturing or maternal. I like my niece--that's it. I am the single woman calling other people breeders and shooting dirty looks at their rude offspring.

This is one of my favorite speeches, given by Harvey Milk, arguably one of the most significant figures in the gay liberation movement. Replace gay with trans and I think there is a sense of why Caitlyn Jenner's coming out is so important. It's not about the viewers of the Kardashians or the people who believe in LGBT equality, it's about the young and old trans people who live in silence and shame, It's for the children being tortured in Christian camps to cure their "illness," it's for adults being attacked on buses and subways for dressing in a way that speaks to their souls and not their genitals, it's for Leelah Alcorn who might have re-thought stepping in front of the 18-wheeler if she had seen the almost univerally positive response to Jenner's appearance, and yes, her recognition with a hero award. Has she been part of a reality show that speaks to shallowness--yes. Is she participating in a media format that many people find suspect or problematic--yes. But you know what--the Queer Guys who did make-overs were accused of being gay Step'n Fetchits--and that show helped advance LGBT acceptance. Why? Because when you watch someone on tv, even if it is a heightened version performed for reality tv, it is harder to hate and hurt someone "like that" in real life. I don't fault Caitlyn Jenner for wanting to look beautiful--she has waited 65 years to express herself this way. She didn't have her teens/20s to wear too much make-up and tight clothes. If she wants to do that while being an older woman--why is that an issue? Because older woman are not supposed to be seen as sexually attractive? Considering the entire beauty industry is focused on looking younger (tighten skin with Olay, dye your gray with Feria, lift those boobs at Dr. Feelgoods!), I think she is being shamed for wanting to be attractive. And that is unfeminist and not cool. It's Pride month--where we celebrate the nights when a large group of transwomen, drag queens, gay men, and lesbians, said "no more" to being harassed by the cops and fought back. And I think the Stonewall Girls would look at Caitlyn Jenner and say "get it baby, work your thing."

Why is it ridiculous? Gender is an invented concept that should be played with, altered, disrupted, and destroyed. People who define themselves by these terms aren't hurting anybody--in fact they are victims of horrifying violence and discrimination.

Cis-gendered are those who are born with their gender and sex matching. Trans are those born with a mismatch. Then you have intersex individuals who are born with chromosonal differences or ambiguous/"problematic" genitalia, you have 2-spirits who are those who embody the traits of both male and female and present as such (usually from First Nations backgrounds), genderqueer are those who reject binary normativity of male/female, genderfuck are those who specifically upset the normative, crossdressing is a fetish, drag is a satire of gender norms performed by gay men and lesbians.

Or it will cause people to write to their Congressman and make all plastic surgeries requested by trans people to be covered by Medicare and Insurance--which they should be. Laverne Cox works it in her photo shoots and as she has said, it's fantasy and part and parcel of Hollywood. What image wouldn't have offended you. Also trans people have difficulty in this world because of small minded bigots, "christians," and people who spend all their time policing how people look and telling them that they are wrong and bad for their gender presentation. As for the Ashe award, not to be mean, but the young lady with the brain tumor is no longer alive so I think there should be more anger directed towards a health care system that couldn't keep her alive versus a made-up award.

Police haven't determined who caused the wreck--it is still under investigation.

Welcome to being a woman in a capitalist patriarchy--the only difference is that transwomen are policed far more harshly.

They gave the award last year to Michael Sam whose only act was coming out. Now, I applaud Michael Sam for coming out BUT he didn't go on to lead a team to the Super Bowl, or impress everyone with his rushing. He was drafted, fizzled, appeared on DWTS, and is now in the Canadian Football League. Robin Roberts got the award, and she has nothing to do with sports, because she survived cancer...something people do every day. Awards like the Ashe award are given for ratings. She isn't being handed the Nobel.

But that is the inherent unfairness that trans people live with--because they were not born the biological sex that matches their gender they are robbed of the experiences that cis-people have and are then judged as inauthentic because they don't have to deal with what "real women" go through. True, she (and every other trans woman) hasn't had to deal with stretch marks or mood swings...they just have to deal with being tortured (in Jesus's name), disowned, being homeless, being sexually assaulted, being murdered for violating the strictly policed gender codes. I mean after all, Brandon Teena never had to deal with the difficulties of male puberty...oh wait, instead he was just gang-raped and murdered--oh, well! And please, someone tell me what it means to be a woman? I see that posted over and over here. "oh, she is just interested in her looks, oh she just wants the clothes, she has no idea what it is to be a "real" woman. What does that mean. There is no universal experience of womanhood and I don't think it can be defined. There are biological characteristics that mark someone as female (XX chromosome and normative genitalia) but that's it. A stone butch aggressive has a very different idea of what it means to be "woman" than a femme 22 year old paralegal working in a law firm. Both are women and both express their womanhood--through gender presentation which is dress, hair, make-up, coding--but their is no single unifying thing. I have no intention of ever having a fetus in my uterus and if I did I would not breast feed because I consider my tits for sex not food, I skip my period by manipulating my BC pills, I sometimes wear femme drag and sometimes wear shorts/a tee/ no make-up. Do these actions somehow make me not a woman? Trans people are people and I don't think have any interest as being held up as noble savages, living quiet lives of desperation to make cis-liberals feel better about themselves. All people have issues, flaws, faults, that does not make their experience any less significant. Laverne Cox was attacked for being on Time because she is "too beautiful" and not representative of trans women. Brandon Teena was a criminal, does that make his story less important? Trans people can be assholes, gay people can be assholes--that doesn't mean their ability to speak to their community is invalid. It's easy to say "I hate the Kardashians therefore this is bad for trans people" but if 1 twelve year old trans kid can point to Caitlyn Jenner and begin that conversation with their parents--fuck everything else. Not necessarily. There has been a wave amongst the lesbian community in recent years of butches becoming transmen. Some had repressed their feelings for a long time for fear of abandoning their feminist sensibilities and joining the patriarchy. Besides, maybe she just wanted a 2nd opinion.

Just because she has male genitalia she is not a man--gender and biological sex are two entirely different issues. Most trans people do not undergo genital reassignment. For one thing: it is expensive. Secondly, there is great deal of mistrust on behalf of the trans community towards the medical community that has pathologized and mutilated trans people. Look up John Money if you want to read about America's answer to Mengele. As for whether Caitlyn Jenner is "good" for the trans community or "doing" trans correctly--there is no one way to be trans. There are people who transition and embrace a normative binary look that corresponds to their gender performance--that is what Caitlyn is doing. And for all the cis-people, who seem to be the people commenting on this site, there is no way to be a woman. Woman/Man is a construct. A cis-woman can wear a tuxedo, a diving suit, a dress, or a lumberjack outfit and still be accepted as "woman" by virtue of society deeming her woman because she was born with a vagina or an XX chromosome set. Trans people wear straitjackets all their life, forced to adopt the standards that were foisted on them when a doctor declared "it's a boy/girl" at the moment of their birth. In reality, the doctor was announcing the appearance of their genitalia--in reality, gender is formed in the brain. They have done studies and the brains of cis-women and trans-women are essentially the same. She is on the cover of Vanity Fair--cis-women who appear on the cover of Vanity Fair do feminine drag, most women don't spend their days in couture with their hair blown out and their make-up done. Yes, it seems like so much has focused on Caitlyn's appearance but so much of gender is performative and how you present. Did people want her on the cover of a magazine looking like a diesel dyke sucking a strap-on? Should she have worn jeans and a t-shirt? As for plastic surgery--I don't think any trans people have critiqued her for using her wealth to pursue her identity. And if you are getting your tits done--why wouldn't you go for a nice pair? I didn't see anyone criticizing Angelina Jolie for going for the same size boobs after she had hers lopped off--or is that okay because her genitalia matches her chromosomes? There are trans people who have no intent to pass, their are gender terrorists, there are people who do gender-fuck (they wear a LBD and heels but have a full beard), and there are people who try to pass but becaue of the limitations of our health care system (plastic surgery needed by trans people is not covered by insurance) they do not have the access that Caitlyn Jenner or Chaz Bono have had. And to be fair, it is easier for trans-men becaus society is far more accepting of male ambiguous beauty than butch women. I knew a trans-woman in grad school and she dressed very femme but she would never be able to pass: in part because of her size and build but also because the hormones could only do so much for the timbre of her voice. However, she was the lipstick member of her relationship as she was dating a stone butch Caitlyn Jenner has never said she is a spokeswoman for the trans community, she has said that she wants to work with them. She is the most high profile person to ever transition PUBLICALLY. And I think that is important for young trans people to see. Leela Alcorn asked us to fix society before she walked in front of a speeding 18-wheeler. She did that because her parents refused to see her as a girl and instead tortured her (because Christians!) and even in her death they continued to call her by a boy's name. I wish Leela were still alive to shove this magazine cover in her parent's face. Also, as for the Kardashians, I understand that they are obsesed with fame, looks, and everything vapid--but I would much rather see this family supporting their trans-dad rather than the Duggars who allowed their kid to finger a toddler for Jesus.