Cheyanne11

Oh, I already figure that somewhere down the line, when Jakeson suddenly remembers he's Jason, they'll both star-crossedly meet at Noodle Buddha to reclaim them. And then we'll get eleventy convos about the dragon and the phoenix and freakin' destiny.

It's just like that episode of "The Brady Bunch" when Marcia envisioned herself as "Mrs. Marcia Dentist."

Carly thinks Jason is hers. Literally, her possession. The only times I could stand him the last couple years were the instances when Steve Burton played it like Carly was a burden to him. Sonny never thinks he's at fault, so him blaming Carly/Ava/the dude who hasn't put wheelchair ramps at the courthouse is par for the course. He believes all the smoke blown up his ass is true.

Man, I had forgotten all about that. Shocking considering what stellar storytelling it was... My one hope is that Ava's recording of Sonny threatening her loses him custody. At least that will make sitting through today's Patriach Corinthos Parade semi-bearable. (BTW, I love how Avery's name is now Avery Jerome Corinthos. Because in the six days he had custody of her Sonny could get her name changed--and yet not delete the Jerome even though he wants to delete Ava from her life. Logic, writers, logic.)

So is perjuring himself Morgan's first felony? Maybe Max and Milo can stop off and buy him a congratulatory cake. Lord, the Sonny propping today was ridiculous. The Governor sent the judge a letter saying what exactly? "well, I abused my power and hand-waved away a life sentence for murder because that mobster sorta-kinda saved my daughter."

That final scene with close-ups of Spinelli and cuts to him pounding away on his keyboard was unintentional comedy gold. Not to mention, I guess we're supposed to think he's a grown-up boy now that he's graduated from orange soda to beer. If he left tomorrow it wouldn't be soon enough.

I don't hate the character of Jake so much as, yep, he's just NOT JASON to me. And the shoe-horning of traits and connections to make him Jason is irritating, at best. I'm over the 'secret' but dreading the reveal in equal parts. Because I could not, and can not, stand the Jason/Sam relationship and I don't want endless scenes where Sam monotones about how something inside her just knew Jason was alive and phoenix/dragon, blah blah blah, shooting stars, yadda yadda yadda, ride or die chick, etc etc etc.

This show should give out hard hats so we're not all clocked by all the anvils.

At Christmas Eve Mass! While Joss is playing "Amazing Grace" on her recorder.

I loved how Sonny just kept yelling at Patrick to give him a date when he'd be walking again. Because that's how it works: "Well, Sonny, you'll be pirouetting by Halloween." He's so insufferable. I was really hoping Patrick would call his "I'm gonna get another doctor" bluff. Sonny acted like he was talking to a caterer and telling them he'd no longer use them if the cannoli wasn't up-to-snuff.

Spinelli acting like he was reciting Shakespeare on the docks as he talked about dear, departed Jason was vomit-inducing. His whole schtick got old years ago. And Sam goading him into breaking the law? I don't care if that's the "real" Sam, it just reminds me how much I don't like the character. I've actually marginally liked Jakeson, but that will all be swept away once he remembers his past, starts waxing poetic with Sam about their one twu luv and becomes the Holy Hitman again. I will say I was somewhat intrigued by who Hayden was calling and who she really is, and I LOL'd that Michael is already thinking Morgan killed "Carlos"--and I've been enjoying Tracy since she's been released from her Luke prison, but, man, this show basically sucks.

I hope the baby is Carlos's and causes Michael to turn day-glo orange and start screaming about betrayal. Might as well make his Sonny-ification complete.

That laugh...that laugh makes nails on a chalkboard sound like dulcet tones. Between that, her ridiculous creamsicle bronzer, the "one true love" bs and everyone acting like this wasn't S&C's FIFTH time at this particular rodeo, it's a miracle my head didn't explode. And don't get me started on the notion that these two assholes marrying makes them just THAT much more likely to win a custody case against Ava. If I was Ava's lawyer, I'd drag every shitty thing they did out in court--hanging AJ from a meathook, Carly making Sonny sign away his rights to Morgan, the Christina car bomb issue, shooting Dante--all of it. Yes, let's highlight what great parents those two are. With all that? They shouldn't be given custody of a goldfish.

Even mildly disliking Sonny is seen as a major character flaw on this show. The man literally shot Robin in her own living room and Patrick was seen as unreasonable for being pissed. I mean, at this rate, Sonny could kill Monica and mount her head on his wall and everyone would compliment his interior design skills.

Jon Lindstrom is back next week, which I guess means we are getting Morgan's bi-polar storyline. Oh, joy. http://www.soapoperadigest.com/content/exclusive-jon-lindstrom-returns-gh

Amen to that. Too bad the same can't be said for Sabrina. Such lazy writing that an actress's pregnancy has to lead to her character being pregnant, whether it makes sense or not. Though I guess now that Michael is fully Corinthi'd again, it's time for him to start amassing baby mamas. Lord knows if he was still identifying as a Quartermaine Sabrina would no doubt be hiding behind plants for nine months.

Speaking of, has that been dropped? I hope so, since the show seemed to be leaning towards "Morgan isn't responsible for anything because...bipolar!" Which, the show already uses "Helena!" as a be-all excuse; they don't need another.

So Ava has Avery? Ric didn't come running in at the last minute with an order from a judge giving custody to Carly because "she's braveandstrongandloveswithherwholeheart?"

Long, slow clap for this post. Carly and Sonny act like simply saying "I've done some things I'm not proud of" exonerates them from any responsibility. Whereas everyone else? Couldn't possibly regret anything and even if they did, too bad. The absolute entitlement these two have is enough for me to root against them every single time. I'd root for Faison over them. On a different note, since Dante and Valerie slept together on 4th of July and it's still not known is this pregnancy going to be the opposite of Olivia's 4 month "preemie" and she's going to have an 11-month pregnancy, a la Robin with Emma? Just what the show needs...

It would be great if after Sam and Jakeson left Robert looked at his grandmother and said "you said you weren't going to pull that anymore" and the woman started cackling about how it always gets people to buy more if they feel sorry for the half-blind woman who keeps mixing people up. Or if she tore off her mask and revealed she's actually Faison who's back in PC because Helena sent him a coded message via Craigslist saying "kill them all." /Manhunter Or maybe Robert ends the ceremony by taking Sam and Jake aside and telling them not to stress--last week he "married" Hillary Clinton and Newt Gringrich when "the Hendersons over from Elm Street" came in for their weekly Szechuan Chicken. I'd believe any of those scenarios over the dreck I saw today.

I cannot stand Sam and the whole "ride or die chick' persona. Sadly, I actually liked some of the humor and different aspects Billy Miller was bringing to 'Jake,' but I imagine all that will 'poof out of existence' the second he officially becomes Jason again. Then he can be Sonny's humorless One True Love and Sam can fully endorse his hitman ways and then I'll just go back to fast forwarding through all their scenes.

To be fair, AJ was fat so he was clearly asking for it.

This is such a blatant, bad rip-off of The Godfather when Al Pacino only got entrenched in "the family business" when Marlon Brando got shot. And I'm still waiting for Morgan to give in, go see Kevin and Kevin to break the news to him that "you're not bi-polar, you're just an uneducated asshole."

Given she kept Michael away from AJ, had Sonny sign away his parental rights to Morgan AND schemed to keep Jax from seeing Jocelyn, I guess trying to keep a kid away from her MOTHER is actually a refreshing change of pace for Carly. No loyalty to Ava, because she's awful, but Carly taking the moral high ground when it comes to custody? Where's a good lightning strike when you need you?

I can't with the way Carly has basically staked claim to Avery as if she has any legal standing. Of course, this is Port Charles, where if she peed on the kid's leg she'd probably be the legal parent.