Happyfatchick

Did you call the docs office to change your number?

I don’t WANT to be... but I am so curious. because it ALSO seems like (or maybe this is just me), if you have a full quiver and proud of it, you’d be pushing them to BE something. What do you want to BE? How do you propose to get there? How can I help you get there? Because the numbers are outrageous - and yet if I’m the alpha of that tribe, I’d want to be saying “we have 3 doctors, 3 RN’s, 4 schoolteachers, one dairy farmer, 2 CEO’s of ____, this guy owns a CFA and is preparing to buy another, one earning a BA in biology...” im just saying. Populating the earth isn’t the full part of the equation to me. as it is, I imagine he’s sitting there controlling, looking a little like Jesus feeding the crowds with 2 fish and 5 loaves. How do they (honestly) view this man? It’s all creepy to me. It’s not like a failure to launch, they aren’t (any of them!) in a POSITION to launch. Nobody prepared for a dang thing. I mean, think about that. There’s a family gathering and everybody and their little blessings are around the table. And there’s 40-11 of them. None of the girls work or have the capability to earn money. There’s a little money coming in because of flying, but JB owns the planes and the buildings they sit in, is that right? Maybe it’s just me, but I’d be happy to look at my family and think “and they all launched and are sufficiently (or even substantially) providing a good income for themselves”. This doesn’t seem to be an issue or a vague thought. I wonder if he actively planned for them all to be so dependent on him, or if it’s something that came back to bite him after half of them were grown? what a narcissist

I’m probably SOOOOOOO wrong, but I just don’t see them as influencers at all. I have no idea how many people follow them, or what anyone would “collect” spiritually, mentally or emotionally from following them. I haven’t watched a show with Jill involved since she was making up curly-Cue names on posters when she was talking to him in Nepal. Thr brief times I’ve seen her, she seems awkward and not an influential adult. I absolutely freely admit I don’t have a clue how much “influence” they have, but I just don’t see it. What’s their platform? She’s no longer fundy, but hasn’t found her feet enough to even be strong about it. I think I sort of have the impression that if Jim Bob looked at her sternly and said “GO. PUT ON A DRESS! ”, she would scurry to do it. I guess what I’m getting at is that they seem like some middle school hand holders really proud to cough up a pan of Manwich sandwiches. With chips from a bag. I’m not worried at all about their potential “influence”. I have a fundy brother who begat a fundy son who begat five fundy children down a stepladder. They are Independent Baptist Duggars. I ADORE them, they are the sweetest, kindest family. I could call that nephew in the middle of the night for a minor issue and he would be on his way in 5 minutes. And THEY have an 18 yo daughter who i would bet big and large money is all over Jana’s Instagram. That’s role model heaven for them. Jill??? Meh. Who’s watching that?? somebody is about to tell me they have 28 million followers, I can feel it coming. Like when you’re bitching and get that really creepy feeling the subject of your outrage is standing behind you. ive always been really really curious though. what is their income source? I assume he doesn’t work because he’s in school (full time?). I don’t think she works because she doesn’t have a single marketable skill. Somewhere along the way, I saw a pic of the house they supposedly live in now, and it said they built it. Where does this money come from? Would Derick have any kind of inheritance? His dad was a cop, right? And sometimes people set up funding for cop kids (especially if they die in the line of duty). and (drum roll...) someone is about to tell me they make all their money being influencers, amiright??? Influencers of WHAT?

I wonder how far he is from crossing the finish line with his degree. Anybody know?

I’ve used that very sentence myself, and I respect that. It seems o me like there’s snark, and then there’s snark with intent to harm. I mean... I’m on some 90 day fiancé sites and I loooooove to run out there with my snark, pinch someone and run back. I get that. Really that’s what we all originally came here for.

What a great and fabulous idea @iwantcookies!!! Seriously! maybe you should establish a bad news day - cloudy news Wednesday or something - and we’ll just all avoid reading that day. I have 2 things (because I’m a blog hog, as we all know). I read on FB that my neighbor down the street (I’ve mentioned before - they don’t wave when you go past, so we all know them as “the mean people”) had complications and more surgery this week from a double mastectomy during the summer. (That’s not the good news). So I took one whole chicken (just one!) and made chicken pot pie, chicken salad and chicken soup. (Pretty impressive for one bird!!) took it over there and discovered they are actually not mean at all. Just reticent. Keep to themselves mostly. I’m so thrilled to know that, that they aren’t really mean!! also: 4 days ago I tried to do some work outside and was sweating like CRAZY!!! It was so DANG hot and muggy!!! But the next day (it was rainy, so hard to tell) the switch got flipped and PRESTO, we have apparently started some easier weather. YAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! [truthfulky, I’m a full-on SUMMER girl, I live for the hot weather. But that garden nearly killed me this year, so a little 70’s feels like swweeeeeeeet!!!!!]. I’m in a new season of life 😜

I haven’t read anything on any threads except the Prayer Closet in forever. So tonight I’ve used some time to catch up a little. I learned that Jessa is still a favorite target - she posts stupid conversations with her kids constantly and is on constant pregnancy watch. there must be a hint about a courtship, the J’s thread is ablaze. but on THIS thread, there is no winner. I read all the way back and caught up. Sometimes I went back several times to make sure I understood intent. I slept on it. Pondered it. There is MUCH vitriol and MUCH hate here. Much hate. I was able to read it, see it clearly because I’m coming in with clear eyes. Its been actually a little disturbing. Here’s my context. I grew up Southern baptist. I know all about Lottie Moon and the cooperative program and the burning of the books and albums in the 70’s. Back then, we wore pants though never EVER at church, the SBC was what Independent Baptist is now. (I personally didn’t OWN a pair of pants until 8th grade - but generally girls were just more apt to wear dresses then. I had shorts for summer). Church was an integral every day part of my life. I played piano and never once played music outside the realm of worshipful music. Never questioned that once. My parents were active and social. My mother in particular year was also very active in the community. She was in some ladies groups, and I remember her being particularly drawn to elderly people - buying and delivering groceries, mending clothes, that kind of thing). We kept foster children. In no way did we try to shut ourselves away from others, although we were Taught that gayness was a choice and a wrong one, we were never taught to hate gays. In fact, I would honestly say that racism was a MUCH larger problem, even tho we had 2 active and vocal black congregants. I remember being involved in and having planning sessions for southern baptists to integrate churches without losing them entirely when neighborhoods transitioned to mixed. I worked at the Baptist Home Mission Board for maybe 10 years in the 80’s, early 90’s. Even my JOB was religious! I was very active in my church. In no way did I consider myself a hater. Ever. I promise I’m going somewhere with this. i (along with many people in our congregation) went to what we called the “Bill Gothard Seminars” every single year from probably 1976 to 1985. IBLP. It was huge, it was packed, it was pricey and my parents happily forked over the money every year. My mother thought there was no wiser human than BG. She paid for other people to attend, she lobbied for greater participation every year. It was akin to a huge camp meeting. We all brought food, met new people, made new friends. I never complained, I never balked, I never questioned. To this very day, I don’t feel like I was badgered to participate. I do not feel I was beaten down or abused, even emotionally. My father was admittedly heavy fisted with us, mentally. Raised Amish, left there and went career Army to the highest enlisted rank - he didn’t play. But my mom was no wilting daisy. She was from South Georgia, raised picking cotton, married the army guy and was a force to be reckoned with on her own. I didn’t see myself being beaten down, I was taught (seriously!) to stand up and be whatever I wanted. (But if your gonna mess with it at all, BE A GOOD ONE!). My dad was my biggest fan till the day he died. But. I also never rocked the boat growing up. Lots of koolaid. I married my first boyfriend (at 17!!!) in a dress buttoned up to my throat and long sleeves -my mother made it. I made my own bridesmaid dresses. what I’m saying is, I have the card, the belt buckle, several t-shirts and somewhere probably some IBLP notebooks. I was a soft kind natured, giving/caring/compassionate person, spewing what I’d been taught was good and true and right. That’s what I was. I was Jill. so I’m saying. I’m asking. I’m begging. Please cut this precious girl some slack. There is not a mean, nasty, vindictive bone in her body. She’s a brand new person stepping out and seeing the real world for the very first time. I’m 60 now, and there’s several million gallons of water under the bridge. I’m no longer married to the man I married at 17. How COULD I have married at 17, when I didn’t even know my own mind? I had no idea what I wanted, what I needed, how to accomplish anything. I didnt know my favorite color, much less what I wanted to BE when I grew up!!! How could my parents have happily let that happen??? the difference is that my husband was entrenched in that life (still is - as far as I know, he’s never sipped any alcohol). Derick, OTOH, was raised more mainstream, had endured some Hardships, been to college. He was more willing for his wife to open the windows to the outside world. I know Derick said some mean and hateful things about Jazz and LGBTQ in general - Derick isn’t 60. Derick is young and not as far away as me. You seriously have to step back and shut up long enough to SEE what you’re saying. I believe he will. I do. and back to Jill - I see a precious, sweet little girl realizing that everything she lived through and participated in, in her life may have been jaded and she never even knew. It’s not hard to go along with your upbringing until you can back up far enough to know (to KNOW) you aren’t going to be struck by lightening for saying ... wait... is this TRUE??? Honestly. You get so engrained, so entrenched, you feel real, palpable SCARY guilt if you say “wait. What??” plus, she’s a sweetheart of a person from what I’ve ever seen. I think she’s gentle and maybe a little timid - and has pretty much been blasted out of her family like a rocket - after being told every day of her life that God is love and above all else, we want to be Godly. She’s a rabbit. She wants to stick her toes out there and see what happens, but she’s terrified. She doesn’t have 18 siblings and 2 parents with welcome open arms any more. She has nothing she grew up knowing. I love her. Obviously I feel some kinship with her. I don’t hate Derick. I feel he just hasn’t found his feet yet. I hope he does finish law school. I see him encouraging and supporting Jill and that makes me proud. I don’t know them, but i sort of suspect when he finishes school and gets into a practice, Jill may do something about her education. I can (like) hope. I don’t think Derick is as harsh as perceived. I think we’d be fascinated to know how many times he (himself) believes he’s spoken out of turn. I wish he’d never addressed Jazz, as I feel like the issues going on there are not ours (anyone in the public) to discuss openly. I don’t. I wish they hadn’t gone public with that at all. I fear major repercussions for them, for her. It’s heart wrenching. I have to say, I’ve known several people who transitioned, but they were ADULTS. If I’m her parents, I don’t know what I would have done. It’s bizarre and I just... don’t know. I do not know. i know that I know that I KNOW I am a different breed of cat today than I was when I married at 17. I know I had to give myself permission (STILL struggle with that) just to CONSIDER other things. Other options. Other opinions. Other possibilities. I no longer have the ability to open up like a large mouth bass and swallow the shiny bait. Prove it. Disprove it. Why? How do you know? How do you know THAT? Who told you that? Show me. Argue with me. Make me believe or get out. Prove it. I think Jill is only very marginally coming into that person. I think every day of her life she has to question something. Why? Why did I think that? Is that true?? I don’t care for Jilly’s parents. Fingernails on a chalkboard. But I dearly loved my own and helped both of them over into whatever there was at the end. Adored them. And I’m okay; honestly ok for my upbringing. I feel like a good, strong, morally upstanding citizen. The world has changed, I’VE CHANGED. I’m going to make room for their baby steps and not be so negative and try to understand where they are in their journey. I honestly (swear!) I wish I could know J&D both. To let them see that I’m 40 years out from that tight orbit, that I’m happy, and that I didn’t get throat cancer, die of a heart attack or struck by lightening for questioning my original beliefs. I seriously believed that, but also believed God is love. my train fell off the tracks when my son and his wife lost an infant 15 years ago. To that point, I was entrenched in church (not SBC but not far off either), Still playing piano, teaching Sunday school. Still very trusting, loyal and vocal. The baby was 4 days old when she died (for @doodlebug, it was NEC). She suffered every inch of her life. Not “im a fussy baby”but a horrid, contorted face of pain. They weren’t able to hold her. The mother had 9 months of carrying, the pain of childbirth - and a dead infant. The father (my son), for many years a non believer had grief (his own and for his wife) and helplessness. The grand baby had a grandma praying every minute that God would heal that baby, that He would provide a miracle so that my son could see I’d been right the whole time.... and she died. She DIED. She was beautiful, looked perfect, was wanted and loved, and she DIED. Full term. Weighed 9 lbs. Wait. What??? So yes, it was catastrophic. Seemed useless and cruel. It STILL seems useless and cruel. Welllllllll..... cuz you know.... everything happens for a reason. I hate that sentence. What’s the reason? Huh? Why did she go through childbirth? Why did the baby live through birth only to suffer horribly for 4 days? Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyy????????? and the wheels came off, just. Like. That. There was looooooong discussion about whether people can change. Really change. @doodlebug said they can, and do constantly. I absolutely believe this. I am NOT the person I was at 17. (Or 27, 37 or even 47). Once you’ve put down the umbrella and stopped trying to be the star of Oklahoma!, life happens. Kids are sick. Stuff happens. Ohmygoshowdidthishappen, I’m SCREWED!!! Or you’re betrayed, or lost, or hurt, or you lose someone, or your child comes out and you are HORRIFIED to consider what this child must now endure for having been brave enough to accept and announce - but you realize at the same time how much you ADORE this child and that you would never ever reject them, or you realize you cannot FORCE yourself to stay in a relationship one minute longer, or your father dies, or CORONAVIRUS shuts the entire PLANET down, or you fully look at your hero - your Daddy - and realize “dude... you really aren’t all that, are you??”, or you wake up GOBSMACKED to find that you aren’t sure you believe ANYTHING you believed as a child and you are just a broken little sparrow of a human, it is my fervent hope I won’t be attacked. It’s just my opinion - and you know what we say about those...

Dang it, I can’t BELIEVE you made me go look for what prompted that. Sigh. i disagree. I think Joshie looks pretty and Anna seems to be melting into that Michele look.

Wow. I never got around to watching the movie and I really meant to do that. Wow.

Re Falwell: guh. To be born of the golden goose and to be so genuinely stupid. What a sleaze bag. i mean, I’m a sleaze bag too, don’t get me wrong. But I’m not famous. JJr was BORN to be straight laced, (alcohol) grain free, self righteous, egotistical, pompous, financially able to rent a yacht for vacation without breaking a sweat, live like a king. He could be running the circuit among evangelicals all over the country, ghost writing, sipping brown water and cleaning his own damn pool. He didn’t have to “DOOOO” anything. But noooooooo. If he didn’t choose that life, FINE! I bet there was enough money in the pot he could take his happy self right on out to FL or LA or the French Riviera. Go! Have a big time! But you can’t do BOTH, stooooopid. (I read a book recently where the son was taken with speaking like an Englishman and so pronounced stupid “stew-pid”. I love English pronunciations as well but don’t think you can improve on the red neck “STOOOOOOOPid”). The POINT, Rev JJr is you can’t live like Charlie Sheen and look like Billy Graham. You just can’t pull it off. You have to BE a squeaky clean evangelical President of a college where males and females sit on opposite sides of worship centers and don’t interact, or you have to Rambo out the door and be whatever trips your trigger. Nobody really CARES about THAT. You just can’t do BOTH. The lack of general understanding of the tolerance levels of ones own personal public audience blows my mind. Ladies and Gentlemen: I give you JIMMY SWAGGART. there are so many fun examples right here - but I’ll stop. There are those people (Lookey mentioned Tiger) who somehow fly under the radar for a long time. (I adored Tiger, and was destroyed when he toppled over like Saddams statue...). That’s how it goes: the crash is usually public, in spectacular and memorable fashion. ETA: @rue721 you ROCK!! @iwantcookies fingers crossed, I’m glad you were able to get a scan so quickly but Mama (me) was RIGHT about agonizing through the weekend. Go outside. Go do something. Do t sit there and stew. ❤️ @lookeyloo how is our sweet son and how are you? @Jynnan tonnix Any talk of blowing that popsickle stand today? I was betting they wouldn’t keep you the weekend. (I got my MD from Liberty online. I now pronounce you HEALED!)

Well then: he cannot be referred to as Bubba. I really didn’t expect him to meet the criteria, I was trying to give him a “name” so we can ask how Bob/Jim/Will/Bill is doing. You really do have to have kind of a personality disorder to wear “Bubba”. Our particular Bubba belongs to my husbands sister. I loooooove these people, honest to God I do. But. If I weren’t related I wouldn’t know them. Get it?? We were at a family birthday cookout once. Bubba gets up (far enough from me I can’t hear what he’s saying), leans over the lawn chair where his own father was sitting. Leans a little closer. Honestly, I thought he was so drunk he was losing his balance. (Certainly was a possibility). And THEN, he tosses his beer aside, grabs his father, knocks him over with the chair and it took several men to get them apart. I would give my left leg and part of my right arm to have ME on video. I have NEVVVVVVVER seen anything like that, been to ANY gathering like that, participated in anything like that. Sonny was howling with laughter. I was HORRIFIED. AMAZED! DUMBFOUNDED!!! WHO DOES THAT????? MY family... we just, you know, cook some burgers, say a lot of awful things about each other (to our faces), sing happy birthday... and kids. Kids are featured at our parties even if it’s not THEIR birthday. GUH!!! so no, I was kidding about the Bubba. But make up some old name and let’s call him that. We feel like we know him anyway. Fred. I think he did that one already. First of all, you DON’T wish that at all. I think what you mean to say is that you wish everyone always only had good news to report. But that’s just not how it works. Secondly, if you wanted that to be your unicorn fairy wish, you wouldn’t have just told us about your unfortunate appointment. Amiright? if you don’t want to tell it on the forum, I get that, but I love you (and I think you’re my daughter and we were separated somehow). I’ma need to have some better details. Did you get an appointment or did you go to ER? Why did you go to pieces - were you terrified and just couldn’t handle it, or did someone’s eyes pop out when they saw your issue? How BIG is this place and when did you first notice it? How long has this been going on? Will you be going back to the same place for a scan, or someplace different? I feel like they may not be able to schedule you that quickly and you may have a very hard weekend ahead, as you are already clearly so anxious. Talk to Mama. Or talk to everybody (there’s LOTS of concerned mamas here). @Ijustwantsomechips, clearly you need more free time. (Biscuit!!!!! Ha!!!). Do you know that (seriously, no joke) When I first started posting on here, I said “there’s a Jason?” And I was being serious. I didn’t have any idea “there’s a Jason?” Was a thing. But what I really wanted to say is: DANG, Jason is the ultimate Duggar face. He looks enough like his brothers wearing a man face that you can see all of them. When you turn him into a girl, I can see every girl in the whole Family, including a little bit of Amy. Holy cow. One face: he embodies them all.

@lookeyloo, give us an update. How’s it going? Can we call him Bubba? Every southern family has a Bubba (we DO NOT although several friends tried valiantly to make that happen when my last was a baby). So for me it would be a lighthearted way just to check up. How’s Bubba (you get it, I know). I told all those male friends (and are still friends) of the family if “Bubba” sticks, I’m coming for you. I have a nephew Bubba and I had to ask once what is his actual name. And my own husband has the “other” common southern good ole’ boy moniker, Sonny. Has been called that his entire life. I have a pic of him that says on the back “Sonny @ 3 weeks”. So yeah, it was meant to happen! (History lesson) also in the south, in the era of my grandparents pretty much every family had a “Sis” or “Sissy” and they all had a “Bud”. I had a Great Aunt I called Aint Sister till she died. And an Uncle Bud. My Granny (in that set) had some naaaaames going on. There was a Clara Kizzie (and they called them by both if they had 2 names), John Bivens (Uncle JB), Orin, Viola and Zelma. I (like everyone else) called Viola “Aint Veo”. My Granny was Zelma.

I went back to catch up. Polygamy? Seriously people??? I could never. Never never never. If I accidentally DID, I’d totally pick @Jynnan tonnix for a wife in my circle and we’d have daily self-worth sessions. I’d also need @Westiepeach because she’s got the cooking thing covered. (She wouldn’t have to DO all the cooking, but she could plan the menus and hand out recipes and we’d all die fat and happy). I’d also want @ChiCricket and several others - I think I officially jumped from polygamy to a girls-life commune. Mostly I couldn’t because I’m the BOSS. I am!!! I’ve never gone into a job IN MY LIFE where I wasn’t mentally scoping out the next rung up on the ladder. And sometimes higher. I am a natural leader and organizer and can’t even work in an environment where that can’t happen. I’m an excellent worker and team member, but I am going to run things. It’s in my DNA. Thanks to many years in HR, I’m also excellent at determining what skill you should pursue. So yeah... I just got voted off the island. Ha!!! crazy related story: years and years ago, I had to take a personality test as part of preparation for a managers retreat. Once there, the moderators (not people we worked with) reviewer the results with us. Turns out I’m OFF THE CHARTS believing I’m the leader, but also off the charts (literally- the peak of my projectile wasn’t on the graph!) with being personable and agreeable. My moderator said “this is interesting. Not many people are off the chart in both of these areas. This means you are going to rule, and that you will never accept not ruling - but that you will be smiling and diplomatic so that people happily agree to what you suggest without ever knowing they’ve been manipulated. ...watch out boys, she’ll chew you up, she’s a man eater!!! ps: cookies, asshat is my favorite go-to when my husband is being one

I don’t really know what subject were on today - got my toddler grand here and a new she-shed (I got a little one for gardening tools ☺️) And just a lot going on. But (and you really do NOT have to answer this - it’s just so heavy on my mind today) I have this cousin. Our birthdays are one month apart, our mothers were sisters. We lived close when we were little, and as teenagers were only separated by a pasture. Same church, same school, same limited friend pool (small town / or rather NO town). Vastly different personalities, I was more girly, artsy and musical. She played basketball, ping pong, was a competitive swimmer and could slap a softball over any fence at will. Amazing athlete. We were the two peas at opposite ends of the pod - we were were essentially raised as twins. Over the years, we’ve taken different paths (or maybe, since I live in my parents’ shadows on my home place, SHE took a path. I mean, I did too - I haven’t been sitting here for 50 years). Anyway, we keep up loosely but don’t have much contact now. About 10 years ago, she had a hernia surgery and they used a mesh product. Back in March, the mesh ruptured and an infection began. And of course, this event coincided with the onset of Covid 19. She didn’t go to the doc at first, and by the time she really should have, all hell had broken loose. In April she was hospitalized and several consecutive surgeries were done. She was there until June. She came home for 6 days, had to return and has been in hosp ever since. She’s 60. Can you imagine??? so right now, not counting the 6 days, she’s been in hospital since April. She has not seen one single family member in all that time. Nor has she been able to eat a single bite of food. Three days ago, they thought she might go home in 2 weeks and we’re celebrating that she might get Jello by the end of the week. Yesterday they discovered internal bleeding and took her for surgery number 35 (that’s not a typo). She’s had humongous blood clots, sepsis, setbacks, blew a pic line, it’s been a nightmare. Horrifying. Week before last (with the pic line and all the mayhem that caused) she tried to type on fb and typed (I’m quoting) “p” and then later “p”. Like a weak flag “hey, I’m still here...”. Last week, in that brief (maybe Jello next week) moment, she typed a sentence or two on fb to our friends. Oh good Lord. I don’t WANT her to give up, but OMG, I don’t think I have the mental stamina to have endured this. in other news: not really news, more like the “huh” category. My daughter (ER nurse) got Covid in July. Early July. Maybe late June. It’s been a minute anyway. She had a light case, fever, chills, headache. She did have a slightly upset stomach and some mild diarrhea early on. By day 6 or 7 she no longer had symptoms and the whole saga was over. Miraculously, no one else in the house had symptoms, and although her husband and son (closer proximity) were tested, they were both negative. Here’s the scoop: it’s been at least 10 weeks, maybe as many as 12. She commented to me 2 days ago she still hasn’t regained her sense of smell. I hadn’t heard anyone else at all say the smell thing could last for so long. Isn’t that a weird symptom? I just found that so odd. The grand and I are building shelves and hanging rakes and shovels. I’m sooooo happy 😊😊😊. Expect pics once I get that sucker painted RED - because hey, I’m all about an eyesore!!!

I DO TOOOOOO!!!!! Recently, I had a conversation with my DIL in my living room about an old childhood friend of my son’s. Where is he? What’s he doing? I can’t remember his last name... the NEXT TIME I logged into FB, that kid (of course he’s an adult now, still a kid to ME) was the FIRST person listed as someone I might want to add as a friend. I don’t have Alexa or anything Bluetooth for the devices in my house other than earbuds. I think this is CRAZY!!! last week, my youngest grandchild was here. I took a scrap piece of plywood and some nails and was showing him how to hold the hammer and bang nails into wood. I also own a small drill (to fit my small hand) and I let him put some screws in and back them out. Grand thought this was MOST EXCELLENT FUN!! And of course, like you DO, when she came to collect him, I said “tell mommy what you did today”. And he, in his little toddler voice told her about HAMMERING, and using the DRILL. When she left, I was thinking I might google toddler tools, as his bday is coming up. I will be damned if I didn’t pull up FB and have ads for toddler toolboxes. Neither time this has happened have I used the phone or any device to get information. In fact, the tools was only a THOUGHT, not even a conversation other than the grand describing what he’s done that day. I really, truly feel Invaded. There’s a Netflix doc on tech devices and what’s going on with them. I keep seeing it and want to watch - while not being at all sure I want to know. I told Mr FC I’m thinking about going back to a flip phone. Somewhere in this house is a purple one...

I’m a dream target as well, but mostly because ADD. And that whole Pollyanna thing I have going on. My husband asked me last night where was my purse (I had one of his credit cards). I said “oh, in the car, I think”. It was. With the keys. Sure, my whole road is mostly family, but that doesn’t mean other people CAN’T come through. I haven’t been scammed yet (and @Jynnan tonnix, this sounds pretty elaborate!), but our credit cards have been messed with several times. That’s always fun. And a couple years ago, someone called from the “IRS” to tell me I had filed short and there was a penalty and I needed to provide them X dollars before they froze all my accounts. Worst accent EVVVER. I could hardly understand the. I said “where ARE you???” At the IRS. Ooooookay. Where IS that? What continent? What street are you on? In what town? This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re REALLY bad at this. Listen, hang up and practice before you try this again, ok? [they've been trying to yell over me the whole time, and by now are yelling “YOU MUSSSSS PAYYY DEEEESE!!!!!]. Really. No kidding, you suck. Bye!! but then, after you hang up, there’s that little niggle behind your right ear going “what if that really was....”

Taking care of yourself... that’s the tail end of any mother’s list, isn’t it? But if you don’t, you can’t:. That’s a fact. And truthfully, knowing he’s in hospital and that he knows some caregivers, and that he’s being tended to should “technically” give you a chance to rest. It won’t - but it should. I wish I could bottle up some strength and send it to you. I know you are worn out. And him. And the partner. Our sons are about the same age and I can’t say “I know how you feel” because I’ve never been in your shoes. I can say I know your heart bleeds. it makes my heart sooooo happy that he’s been able to call and text you today. Best hug meme evvvvver

@lookeyloo what’s the word? Are you able to tell us why he was taken to hosp? Have you been able to speak with him? I wrote this yesterday and for some reason, it poofed into oblivion and is nowhere that I see. it must be excruciating for you to not be able to be there and take care of his needs. It’s exhausting to watch someone you love so much be sick - but it’s got to be magnified tenfold the way you’re having to deal. You must be ready to scream. Do it!!! I won’t tell. ❤️❤️❤️

I don’t have health issues that make my voice weak, but I know if you’ve ever imagined meeting me, you were prepared for me to be loud and obnoxious. You would have been 50% - I’m not loud. When I was a child, my older brothers told me every single day to SHUT UP!!! GUH!! You talk SO LOUD!!! And I think (seriously, I believe this) I trained myself to speak softly because I was afraid I was making a fool of myself. NO ONE can hear me through a mask. I repeat everything I say 100 times, usually take a step back, pull my mask down and shout. Oh cookies, I laughed OUT LOUD at this. In my head, I’ve always envisioned you as an introvert who comes here to have a voice. So when you said right up front on your marquis, I LOVE WEARING A MASK, you pretty much validated my psychic abilities. Also: that person you were fake smiling at was MEEEEEEE (snoopy dance!). I smile at EVERYBODY. I say “how you doin?” And here, lemme help you with that, and hey YOU (tall person) come reach that for me. I am that horrifying person who talks in elevators. I tease strangers. I compliment strangers. I’ve danced with strangers to canned music in stores. I told a 20 something guy in the DQ window last week that he was quite handsome, but that unless he’s had a trauma recently, he should SMILE. (And he beamed so I licked him! JK). I ALWAYS tell servers when they need to be more friendly (this is the south, pleasant service should be so normal it’s almost nauseating). Cookies, if I EVER saw you in public, I would make you smile! true story: when my baby son turned 15, we were in WM after school. I mentioned something about his birthday when I was in line to pay. Cashier says to him “it’s your birthday?” I said “it IZZZZZZZ!!!! We should SING, right????” So we started singing happy birthday, and the people in the next line joined, and the next line, and people walking by, and by the clapping part at the end, the whole front of the store including the 90 YO greeter was belting out HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUU with absolutely no idea who’s birthday it was. It was fabulous!!! Alas, I HATE, loathe and despise wearing a mask. It is such a lethal punishment for me, I have put off errands for DAYS just because of it. I have the irrational feeling I’m soffocating. Plus I never even realized how important it was for me (personally) to read other peoples faces, or that I depend on it so much. I swear I feel as though I lost 80% of my ability to communicate. I “talk” with my face. Very expressive, my face. I feel blocked from humanity. plus, I swear I own 20 of those damn things and CANNOT keep up with them for love nor money. I really do own 20 and right now, this very minute, can lay my hands on exactly 2 of them, and one of them needs to be washed. (I put it on the dog as a joke the other day. She was not amused). although until I typed all that out, I don’t think I realized why I hated it so much. Turns out, this has been very therapeutic! Thanks! I don’t know why my dog is upside down. She seems to be stuck that way

We’re all just worried, aren’t we? There have been 2 different times I have burst into tears and broken to pieces with my husband looking on in stunned amazement. (This is NOT my typical behavior). I think it will be really interesting to see what the holidays bring. It’s like the twilight zone up close and personal. OTOH, WOOOOOW!!!!! I’m amazed at you finding a pal during Covid. Good for you!!! The fall. I’m terrified. Also the upcoming holidays. Also the anniversary of the onset. Are we going to read that anniversary as welp, here we are. This is indeed our new normal. I’m a hugger. I miss hugging. And holding. Leaning in close for secrets. Play biting my grands on their necks. I miss people’s faces. I miss high fives. I miss people feeling normal and just enjoying one another. I hate chick FIL a bringing my dinner to my car in a bucket so I’m not required to touch them. I just want my life back.

I just came to tell y’all this. We were standing out in our brand new barn night before last (it’s only about 1/3 full at this point) discussing where to put the rest of the shelves and plastic containers of things we have to move out there... and I said “it’s not big enough, is it?” nope. It’s not. I went yesterday and bought a smaller 12x16 to use exclusively as a garden shed. I have that much all by myself. Americans and our excess. 🙄

To what? How did you know that?

WHERE IS @galaxychaser??? Did someone give her permission to be offline this long?

Send pics, Jeeves

@Mindthinkr: I’m pretty sure I lost a friend this week too. I kind of wish she’d said something mean about one of my dogs or one of my grandchildren. I’m actually not so sad losing the friend as you would think - she’s in another state but visits me often because she has a romance going on here. I’m sort of “home base”. This has been a point of contention so MANNNNNY times over the years (she’s actually the side piece, and he’s ugly as sin and has a weak personality. I don’t get it). But We’ve had words - crying cat fights, really - over whether she’s using me or not. (She is). My son got married and she’s jumping up and down “oh, I’ll come help! I’ll help you!” But then... when she arrived, the squeezy guy failed to respond to her texts and she was unable to hook up with him and was dejected and weepy the whole time. When I moved houses, she was so excited to come down and help with the move. And actually sent me a SPREAD SHEET ahead of time so I would be aware of the times she expected to be out of touch. BIIIIG FIGHT that time. I know I sound jealous of the guy - but I most certainly am not. I think ... I think I wouldn’t mind as much if she’d be honest and said “hey, can I come stay sort of at your house (sort of not) while I get my squeeze on??” I mean, just STOP with the trying to placate ME when you’re only coming so he can cheat. Anyway, since I eloquently told her how beautiful my barn is, i haven’t heard from her. i cannot, for the LIFE of me, imagine a friend who comes to do laundry and brings their damn DOG (when you have cats). You have a SEVENTEEN year old cat. This cat has earned some peace, sunshine and laziness, and possibly some lasagna. My God. Having just lost my baby last weekend, precious old man that he was, I honestly (unapologetically) did not allow too many people or people with active dogs around for his last little bit. What a totally clueless rude obnoxious person you have for an ex friend. Where will your person do laundry next week? And where will MY person park her little red car when she next needs a squeeze? she is supposed to come sometime in September so it’ll be interesting to see how long she goes before she blinks. We’ll see.