schmickschmack

I am of two minds about Tal's jealous reaction to the thought of Whitney and Todd having a baby. On one hand, I'd be bitching about my advanced degree too, upon finding out about Todd's so-called "smarts." On the other hand, I am filled with horror at the thought of either of them procreating but specifically together. Tal, your horror is misplaced.

Here's where I take issue with both of them: If you believe D'Andra from the beginning of the season, she had a successful career in DC and her mom called her up and told her that if she came back she could take over the business. Now, I wouldn't let myself be manipulated like that, but this seems like their dynamic from birth, so I can't really judge. As soon as she got back, Dee snapped that carrot just out of her reach again. They are a therapist's dream come true.

I'm not much of a drinker, though I can see the "oh shit" attitude from the crew when faced with a dry cruise; booze covers a multitude of sins. The fact is, every single charter group this season has seemed dull as dishwater, booze or no. I cannot imagine paying yacht-charter kind of money to do anything they've done this season.

I feel like they're trying desperate to be topical and relevant, but they're 8 full months behind.

I had a bad feeling from the start because it just screams "NONE OF US CAN GET WORK." Plus, it's all the things I hated the first time around - the mania, the pandering, the "topicality." I just think it's a bad time in our history for me to find bad people funny.

From USA Today: "Within the past five years, the term 'mommy makeover' has become synonymous with package-deal type surgeries which typically include a breast lift, breast augmentation, liposuction and tummy tuck." I thought Brandi mentioned something about moving the ab muscles closer together, though? Which sounds horrifying.

Chris Brown reminds me an awful lot of a guy I taught abroad with. Former born-again Christian, worked really hard in his first few weeks in-country to make sure he had a fully stocked bar, taught his classes like a locker-room chat... then got fired and kicked out of the country for inappropriately texting with a student. I think Chris Brown is gonna cross a line and it won't take long.

I cannot stand Angela, but her ability to always read a room exactly wrong is fascinating to me.

Because Andy is the single biggest gay homophobe I've ever seen in my life. He called RHONJ to task on some homophobic comments back in S1, but since then, they've been cranking them out and he's been super chill (he did touch on it with Atlanta at the last reunion, but in a half-assed way).

Talk about l'esprit d'escalier... 12+ hours after watching, I realized that MKE should have taken a page from Bethenny's book and told Kelli, "Right, like I'm taking parenting lessons from Kelli Dodd." PERFECT.

I am cracking up at how everyone keeps calling Pastor Bod older than Molly. IRL, Lil Rel is only four years older than Yvonne Orji. Is it because he's so mature that we think of him as so much older?

Lydia reminds me of a girl I went to high school with - she was all teeth and gums and eyes but she was a cheerleader, so people thought she was pretty. I'll never forget in an English class a teacher said "pretty" is an insult because it's surface and shallow; beauty is deep. Before he got to the second part she actually huffed and then laughed, as if to say we all knew she was pretty. I could see Lydia doing just that.

Right before she met up with Vicki. I can't remember what she said, exactly, but I was gleeful thinking about how the WWC guys would handle it tomorrow.

To paraphrase Emily Gilmore, when someone has bad manners, your good manners are to rise above. Yes, it was awkward, but rise above, bubblehead.

I love Meghan. She's a total shit stirrer but someone needs to stir up the languishing turds in this season's toilet. When she said it was time for her to return as an investigator all I could hear is Ben and Ronnie from Watch What Crappens going "Hashtag justice!"