NinjaPenguins

Are lawyers typically present at photo shoots? Lol@Katie. "I'm here because I'm worried about Brooke. But let's talk about ME for several minutes first." Also, I'm going to rub my husband in her face under the guise of caring. Priceless. Nicole is getting mighty irritating. She's making me feel bad for Maya, y'all. Talk me down!

It's weird, but when I was a younger viewer, the teen scene never interested me. I preferred watching the grown-ups. especially Jack and Victor. The young adult Scooby gang might be tolerable to me if their "thrilling" murder mystery was better written and not an amateur rip-off of an already cheesy horror movie. At the very least, the plot could stop eating the show. What happened to the developing relationship between Kevin and Mariah? Why isn't Kyle spending more time with his father, who had his heart stop while trapped under the rubble of Nick's dive bar? Some characters crack wise about it, but why not have Summer and Kyle dig deeper into the whole "holy fuck we almost committed incest!" scenario? Their relationship should be a hell of a lot weirder instead of all schmoopy. Don't know if this is UO or not, but I strive to be on topic so...I wish Adam and Sage would have hate sex. Lots and lots of it. Maybe Adam can boink the idea of being with Nick right out of her head.

I don't hate the actor who portrays Summer. I just wish the character wasn't on every single day.

Congratulations, Eric Forrester! You have achieved a feat rarely accomplished by soap characters. You have reached Nick Newman Levels of Stupidity! Please take this golden bag of hammers as a constant reminder of how very dumb you are. If one could fit a black hole inside a black hole inside another black hole, it would still not approach the dense, light-sucking void inside Eric's skull. If a unit of dumb could be expressed as a single strand of hair, Eric would look like Sasquatch. Thirsty for some idiot juice? Just squeeze Eric over an empty glass. He was once bested in a game of Go Fish by one of Pam's lemon bars. He is...The Dumbest Man in the World! Boy, Nicole went from zero to brat pretty swiftly. Make a toast to your dim-witted father, Rick; if it wasn't for him the employees probably would have defenestrated you by now.

I don't know about that. Brooke's alcoholism has caused me buckets of misery. It's the same old shallow tripe hack writers trot out when they want to do an addiction storyline but don't have the creativity to give it any depth or nuance. Golly, I can hardly wait to walk the well-trod road to redemption with Brooke and Deacon as they overcome one cliche after another, finally arriving at their destination, Brooke's Bedroom. Lessons will not be learned, but channels will be turned. By me. I would prefer it if Brooke did not sleep with another of her daughter's significant others. On other shows, it might be soapy, on this show it would be a day ending in Y. Can't buy Nicole as Maya's daughter, as Maya looks like she would have been between 8 and 10 when Nicole was born (IMO). As others have said, Rick wouldn't care. I think Maya's secret is that she has a shameful small penis fetish, and Nicole spilling the little tiny beans will put the lie to Maya's reassurances to Rick that he's packing a nuclear warhead in his pants silo. Either that or she shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Brooke, stay out of the poultry aisle. Seriously, don't even go there, show. Just say no. I am so tired of every Brooke scene opening with her taking a drink or pouring a glass. The thing with Maya is that she'll probably end up getting hers from Rick, and knowing what a doucheosaurus rex Rick is, it'll be something she doesn't deserve.

Yeah, I didn't understand why Quinn wasn't satisfied with hearing Deacon declare that he was committed to her. So Brooke trashed her to Deacon - Deacon didn't join in and reaffirmed his devotion to Quinn. I cannot get over how much Brooke drinks. Drink, get somewhat sober, drink more, pass out for an hour, drink. At least the lushes on Y&R pace themselves. Yes, Rick has always been a raging douche, but picking on Aly is particularly egregious to me, like pitting a coked up mongoose against a baby. She may very well flip out and chase him around Forrester Manor with an axe, but it won't be comfortable to watch him push Aly to that point.

Gosh, Rick, what does being a nice guy get Thorne? I don't know, friends? The ability to sleep at night and look at himself in the mirror? The fact that the people around him don't want to bathe him in seal's blood and throw him at a polar bear? Sounds horrible, this being nice stuff. But Rick is right about one thing. When you bully, I mean exercise your authority over employees, they don't want to stab you in the back. They want to stab you in the front and dance on your grave. Dum-dum. Aly and Ivy, you don't, in fact, have to accept being treated like servants. You don't have to cook him a damn thing nor do you have to give up your room in a giant house that no doubt has empty rooms aplenty. Tell him to go pound sand and find a nice studio apartment in Ridge's building. Rick will starve emotionally without victims to feed on; he'll turn his nastiness on Maya, and she will wise up and leave him. Bullies will move on to the next warm body when deprived of their targets. Brooke, you can't forbid adults to get married. Your daughter is a grown-up, sort of, so fuck off with this nonsense about caring what her deadbeat daddy does. I hate this whole plot so much.

My lawd, there is truly a gif for every occasion! Marvelous! I want to like Quinn and Deacon, but I have a sinking feeling about where their story will go. We'll have yet another tired "woman loses mind over man" plot stirred into a vomit like slurry of "poor drunken lonely Brooke is a victim of psycho Quinn." I liked when Deacon talked Quinn down from the ledge and showed her real support. Why, he seemed to be on the verge of human decency. I fear the show is going to have Deacon revert to the same pig who shamelessly knocked up his wife's mother, and I'll be expected to gobble it up like he and Brooke have some grand romance.

You know, I generally like Ridge and Caroline as a couple, but I'm over the paint. Enough with the paint. "Sex makes my fingers swell up?" Oh hell no. Dialogue like that should be punishable by a wet halibut to the face. I can only echo what everyone else has said. Deacon as the prize in a love triangle? No.

Aly should design a line of shoes to fit squarely in Rick's ass. All Forrester employees could be gifted a pair. So Rick's nice act lasted all of...a day? It could have been interesting to see him take a more sly approach while inflicting his creepy kindness on everyone. Oh well, I'd hate to see something interesting on my screen between 1:30 and 2 pm.

Nobody's puking? I don't like correcting you in public, snaporaz, but I suffer from dry heaves and minute amounts of vomit in my mouth as I watch Brooke and Steffy demean themselves over men. 'Sup with Liam's hair? Is that an actual style? I was thinking perhaps some deranged soul seeded his scalp with corn and dunked his head in a barrel of chickens.

I love how dismissive Ridge and Steffy are of Ivy and her feelings. By love, I mean they made me queasy. Oh sure, being discarded by your lover because someone dangled share-bait in front of them will hurt, but they'll get over it and YAY, we win! Seriously? This is the best the writers can scrape together for a takeover story? I know Liam is a wet noodle, but why isn't he telling Steffy that if she actually did love him, she wouldn't ask him to do something underhanded that nudges him toward being a terrible person? Oh that's right; Steffy is the terrible, selfish person and like all terrible people, assumes everyone operates just like them. I cannot believe how awful drunken Brooke is. I like KKL as an actor, but this is not her finest hour. Brooke seems to be guzzling a tremendous amount of alcohol to the point I wonder when she'll be hospitalized for alcohol poisoning.

NO YOU WILL NOT MOVE BACK TO L.A. PERMANENTLY, STEFFY! Sorry. I make fun of this show, but I would hate to stop watching. It's such a part of my daily routine. But...here we have a woman who acts so full of herself and her FUN! personality, and yet she is so pathetic that she would accept a relationship with a man who would only be with her for shares. Oh sure, Liam had feelings for Steffy and probably still has some, but when you have to dangle shares of Forrester over a man's head to get him in bed, that's gross. Liam should be offended that she's asking him to prostitute himself, but he didn't have that much dignity to begin with. The icing on the desperation cake has to be Daddy trying to strong-arm the guy you want into a relationship. Awful. Insulting on every level. Steffy really is just a sober Brooke.

So...the Jack doppelganger, aka Jerk, had sex with Kelly in the cootie closet, and Kelly very much thought it was real Jack. What is the legal term for that? Oh yeah - rapey. And Victor facilitated it, as he facilitated Billy's spermjacking by Chelsea. Who among us can invent a cannon capable of launching this character into the fiery heart of the sun?

I do enjoy it when Sage cracks Adam's brand new face. Then they put Sage in a scene with Nick, and I cease possessing an aerial intercourse upon a forward-moving glazed pastry. I'm going to treat this thread like a hospital confessional and admit I felt a teensy bit sorry for Summer during those Austin flashbacks. If he had bemoaned the single-watt lightbulb in her attic, the incessant whining, or the fact that her father is an ill-mannered silverback gorilla who never once toe-peeled a piece of fruit for him, then fine. More power to him. Instead he's appalled and offended by generous gifts and apparently hasn't the spine to say "Thanks, honey, I appreciate the thought, but I'm not a suit and tie kind of guy." Lord only knows how he endured the indignity of a rent-free condo provided by perennial spermstakes loser Jack. Having a crash pad in Abby's panties was probably of some comfort.

Brooke's drunken escapades are going to eat the show, aren't they? Just buy an electric toothbrush, name it Paolo the pool boy, and put down the shot glass. Katie, you dumdum, Brooke haz a sad because you invited her to your wedding to rub it in her face. Okay, that's a small part of the overall bigger picture, where Brooke's empty bed makes her soul feel empty. Seriously, all the characters today talking about how Brooke needs a man was just awful and the pinnacle of pathetic. As a vagina-American, I feel vaguely insulted. Chickenhead, "it's different for a woman." I love you, but shut it. Shut it long and shut it hard. Don't open your beak again until you have something sensible to say. Don't even try to get back into my good graces by reading Deacon for the weasel he is, you smooth-talking piece of poultry.

Yeah, Shira, it felt like Katie was right back to trying to change Bill. It's just a necklace, sure, and a pretty tacky one at that, but he obviously didn't want to take it off, it has deep meaning for him, and she probably should have dropped it.

I've often thought that Nick was the product of a shameful dalliance between Nikki and Sonny Corinthos. I don't know if this unpopular or what, but I can't even find Adam sexy anymore. The show's insistence on having him shadow Chelsea has destroyed what charm he had left for me. I...I may loathe him more than I loathe Billy, mostly because I've made peace with Billy's level of suck while I had high hopes for this Adam. I wish Connor had been Dylan's or had never been conceived, because Adam can now never escape the vanilla vortex that is Retail Rapette. Chelsea is the character who spawns both an Abbott and a Newman son? Perhaps a Chancellor tot will be sliding down her blessed birth canal next (let it be Devon's!).

I am not entertained by Brooke's madcap drunkeness. It's over the top, and I don't feel sorry for anyone who thinks they need a man to be whole. Deacon, fuck off with your schmoopy retcon romance with Brooke and your fond fatherly feelings for Hope. None of that shit happened. Chickenhead was right about that mooching douche. "Everything is stabilized!" Oh, Brooke. Everything but your son's psyche.

Like miamama, I didn't get the impression that Jack was confessing to anything, especially a bar bonk with Kelly. So Victor went to church and it wasn't for an exorcism, eh? I suppose that would be some Vatican level demon purging anyways. *polite golf clap* Well played, Hillary, well played indeed. Well, except for the part where you endured sleeping with Neil and Devon; that's just masochism.

Nick can stop joking about his bartender-killing, constructed-out-of-toothpicks deathtrap anytime now. He should be lining up some damn good lawyers (not Avery), not launching a one man panty raid on Sage. His carefree flirtations in the face of his own lethal incompetence and negligence were awful, even for him. Yes, Adam, Victor Newman is immortal, preserved forever by the embalming fluid-like malice coursing through his veins. Attempts to mount him on a plaque like one of those singing fish have resulted in a number of casualities, the bodies of the would-be taxidermists reeking of sulphur and 666 burned into their backsides. I will say this, Victor does come alive around his beloved Jagabbott. I am confused by this concept of "making love" about which Kelly will not stop talking. It is, apparently, akin to what a person might see in a particularly prurient back alley canine porno? Or is it more graceful, like Nick ravishing a tangerine with his feet? My cursory readings of terrible romance novels as a teen never featured a scene of the heroine being used as a squealing beer sponge. Watching Chelsea and Gabe is like being whipped with a wet noodle, only far less erotic. What a thrilling cycle; Billy, in his typical uncouth manner, wisely points out what a creeper Bingo is, and Chelsea, a deeply disturbed woman who is enchanted by rape victims and stalkers, defends the smarmy smirker. Meanwhile Gabriel blathers to anyone and everyone about his fake marriage inheritance scam, because it will be so romantic when he invites Chelsea to eat park hot dogs in his cardboard condo after he loses all that cash. Smart. Please let Neil's silver briefcase containing Creamy Nude and a blonde wig be in Kyle's trunk. Best prop cameo evah!

And then they teach a hippo to dance the samba!

Mariah is my new hero, you guys. Of course Summer is a narcissist; that particular personality disorder comes pre-baked in the Newman bloodline. Victoria needs two men fawning over her princess posterior 24/7, Nick believes his rod should always have friendly waters to fish in, and Victor's ego miraculously keeps expanding despite being large enough to form its own black hole that swallows all the light and joy in the universe. Why wouldn't Noah want grandpa's advice? If anyone knows how to dish out destructive, self-serving lies without batting an eyelash, it's Victor. Way to embrace your inner Newman douche, Noah. Poor Ashley. Fending off Kelly is like fending off a hungry bear with a rubber chicken. Also NuBilly's acting was so damn lackluster that she had zilch to work with. Newsflash, Kelly! Demeaning yourself with a man in a puddle of murky mop water does NOT give you a golden ticket to every aspect of his life. Please let Jack have a doppelganger; I cannot endure the thought of Real Jack rutting with Kelly like a demented yak. I have nothing snarky to say about Chelsea and Adam. I hate them. I'd rather watch grass grow. When Austin shows up, I hope he's changed into his I'm With Stupid t-shirt. Whether he's being interrogated by Chief NumbNuts or reuniting with his delicate flower, it's a fashion choice that can't go wrong.

I am really torn when it comes to Liam. There's a part of me that thinks he's eating up this Steffy shit with a spoon and thinking it tastes like chocolate. There's another part of me that thinks Liam doesn't enjoy Steffy's relentless advances but completely lacks the will to stop it. Either way, what a drip. Oh yes, Rick also put on a magnificent show. Like someone else said, Ridge needs to change his game, because his blustering isn't going to make a dent in Eric's titanium skull. Damn, I can see Aly being naive enough to buy Rick's phoney baloney, but Eric should be a little more worldly. I did enjoy JY as Rick killing everyone with newfound kindness, so bravo. Seriously, though, why is Steffy still around?