LittleCabbage

Erm... as a pale, skinny woman myself, I resemble this remark! Nothing wrong with being pale, and as for body size, there are thinner girls than Lacey on the island right now. I'm far more bothered by her complete lack of an upper lip, but that is something she cannot help unless she wants to go the surgical route, which I wouldn't recommend. Lacey's real issue is that she's that needy, crazy-eyed, and possibly none too bright woman that no guy wants to get near with a ten-foot pole. I felt uncomfortable watching her tonight.

And The Most Awkward Series of Side-Hugs Award goes to... D-Lo. Was she doing this to keep her bewbz from falling out of that ill-fitting dress?

Aw. How could no one have picked Vinny? His mother's going to be so disappointed.

Damn you, Trump! I wonder if the second hour is going to be viewable On Demand? Best thing in the first hour was Jack Stone saying that Dean would be great to date... if you're a twelve-year-old girl. Second best thing in the first hour was Jack Stone talking to Alex (the pina-colada-ordering 'basic ass bitch') about why he got along well with her. By the way, has anyone figured out why the hell everyone calls him Jack Stone?

Not sure why Raven seems to be the designated 'catch' so far. I always thought she looked a little greasy and a little sleazy, somehow. The DeMario/Corinne stuff certainly seemed anticlimactic. It was obvious she was pretty drunk, in what appeared to be a silly-drunk, happy-drunk sort of way... probably having a good time in the moment, then horrified when she couldn't remember any of it later (if that part is indeed true). But it seems like he was feeling Alexis a little more. Yay! Carly and Evan's wedding! (I loved them. Still do.)

I'm a female myself, and unfortunately I've been blackout drunk before. I am by no means suggesting that someone who drinks too much deserves to be a victim of sexual assault. But if intoxicated people are not held accountable for their choices, we will make no inroads in ever curbing substance abuse. Would you absolve a drunken driver of vehicular manslaughter because he/she "was too drunk to know what she was doing"? Accountability has to come into play somewhere. If the tables were turned and a drunken Mario had shoved his junk in Corinne's face, then felt 'victimized' by it later, we wouldn't even be having this conversation because everyone would be too busy rolling their eyes and/or laughing.

I'm glad that Hunter is doing well still. I like how unassuming he is, and while his singing is hit or miss for me, I think he has shown some moments of artistic greatness here and there. But-- shallow comment ahoy!-- I wish Gwen would get him to change that Dumb and Dumber hairstyle. He had it swept back during his audition and looked not at all like a simpleton.

I hate to say it, but Nick should really listen to his parents and try a relationship with a woman outside his usual 'type.' Clearly the type isn't working for him, if the tension and strain I just saw between Vanessa and Nick is any indication.

I think Corinne's dad seems like a pretty fun guy. I saw a strong physical resemblance between him and his daughter and had to chuckle when I imagined what Corinne might look like in 30 years: shaped like her dad, but with straggly blonde extensions framing her Shrek-like face. I thought Vanessa's dad was kind of badass-- quietly menacing and protective. I would not want to get on his bad side. Vanessa's little brother is going to grow up to be an attractive, soulful-looking man (and I feel dirty for even thinking in this way). Rachel's mother was understatedly elegant and lovely-- best prospective mother-in-law in the bunch. I didn't pay much attention to Raven's visit to Dogpatch.

It's interesting to see that opinions are split on Nick. My personal take is that Nick is the kind of guy who would make a great buddy, which is part of the reason he came across as relatively likable on Bachelor in Paradise; we got to see him interacting with a lot of the women in the capacity of Supportive Friend. He's one of those smart guys (or close to smart, anyway) who becomes stupid whenever romance or sex comes into the equation. I have male friends like him IRL and it's kind of an exasperating thing to see from the sidelines.

Nick, Nick, Nick... has there ever been a bachelor who is so ambivalent about being there? (This is a sincere question, as I haven't watched every single season.) Last night's episode was difficult to watch as we saw Nick floundering more than ever before. Part of the problem, I suspect, is that he is rabid-ass drunk about 90 percent of the time. That's not just a mumble we're hearing... he's actually slurring his words. Why isn't Jorge at the bar to cut him off? He seemed so despairing toward the end that it makes me think he was never that keen on being The Bachelor to begin with... but the famewhorish temptation to do reality TV yet again was too much to bypass. Now that the number of girls is thinning out, he's less and less interested in the looming possibility of a fiancee. That's one theory. The other theory is that he's already made up his mind on who he wants but has to play along from week to week for the sake of the show. I have idea of whom that person is, but since it's speculation I won't voice it here... I'll just say that this feels like one of the most heavily edited seasons for sure, with lots going on that we aren't seeing. When Nick came back to the room bawling like a baby, I noticed Corinne looked like she was going to cry, too. She was one of the few who made direct eye contact with him while he wept. Her concern seemed genuine. Maybe not such a mean girl after all?

Corinne is clearly performing. Whenever she makes one of her more absurd statements, she looks as though she's on the verge of cracking up laughing. Something in all this reminds me of the TV show The Simple Life, where Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were playing to the cameras. She's like a low-rent Paris/Nicole combo who is angling for her own reality show. By the way, I'm not hating it.

Liz: "We got drunk and f*cked, but I didn't want to give him my number because he doesn't know me like that." Oh, those crazy kids of today and their kooky mating rituals! Back in my day you gave the guy your phone number first, and then maybe you'd let him put his penis in your vagina!

Even if Burke did it-- and I believe he did-- what could be done to him now, legally? Very little. Even if he had copped to the manslaughter of his sister at the age of 9, there would have little in the way of repercussions due to his tender age. Maybe he would have spent a few years in a children's psychiatric facility. Based on his conduct and demeanor in that old interview footage, that might not necessarily have been a bad thing for him. Just saying. If this had been a 'regular' case of a little boy who accidentally killed his sister-- or even killed her on purpose-- we would not be talking about this today. It would be long forgotten except to those personally affected by the tragedy. It's the ensuing cover-up-- that bizarre, melodramatic ransom note and the convoluted staging of the body-- that makes this case especially memorable and disturbing. It is chilling to think of parents going to such lengths to protect their surviving child. Did they really do him any favors? I do lean toward the death being accidental. Watching the special last night brought back some not so pleasant memories of my own childhood, where my older brothers were often rough with me-- smothering me with a pillow, dunking my head in tub water when my parents weren't around. I could have easily died. Thankfully, they've grown up to be normal, functional adult men who have apologized for how I was treated and admitted that they were spurred by jealousy, with me being the youngest and the only girl. It isn't hard for me to imagine something of that dynamic between Burke and JonBenet as well.

According to the experts on tonight's show, the 'stun gun' marks were not from a stun gun at all but possibly from a toy train track. My husband, who watched the episode with me, had the same kind of train set as Burke, which apparently is an older one and quite expensive. (Hubby was, and is, a model train geek.) He verified that the prongs in the connecting ends could leave a burn mark if it was plugged in, much like the marks that appeared on JonBenet.