charmed1

Julian probably wrote to Dr. Phil about Debbie. He always has episodes with elderly people getting scammed by Williamses.

I miss Phil. Watching him run up and down the stairs dangling that microphone was the best part of being home sick from school.

Debbie gives off Hoarder vibes. I’m sensing a TLC crossover special.

The password is: penis.

She looks like Oliver Twist.

This woman’s poor children. I would be mortified if my mother was on television graphically talking about having sex and her partner’s orgasms.

We’ve got five minutes left. Shall we go to the park or shop of ugly plus sized clothing ?

Completely accurate. Go in to get a cheap picture frame, come out having reached your steps goal in an hour. That is after having to maneuver around a family of five plus their in-laws taking a casual stroll through the kitchen towel section.

Damn. I knew there would be some trauma that would make me feel bad for finding him annoying. I still think he’s very spoiled and exploits Dad’s guilt. I have a family member with a similar experience, different addiction. Till this day, he guilts his elderly parents into giving him money.

I was so nervous that dad was going to scrape his bumper on the curb. I’ve done that a million times.

Speed dating for sexually fluid singles…who are directly from central casting. Go to school, Jazz.

I knew he’d be approved for surgery because stupid TLC spoiled it for me in their episode description.

Question. If I get the Sofa Meatloaf, does it come with cheese?

We’re locked out so we’re having a block party outside. Will you be having the the bedside fried won tons or the salad bowl of eggs?

He really thought he lost weight? He looks exactly the same! Only now with new improved comb over.

I’m such a Simpsons-aholic. All I can picture is Homer wearing that muumuu when he purposely became morbidly obese so he could telework.

Lord forgive me if he’s got some type of childhood trauma, but I can’t stand this stank man and his stank attitude. All he needs is a ponytail holder and he would look exactly like Comic book Store Guy. When he was talking about the only job he could get in his town, I just knew he was going to say it was at the comic book store.

I was born in the 70s, but I hear “roll down the window,” is not something the kids say anymore.

Questions: Is it me or is the piano music Hello, by Lionel Richie? Is 1992 goatee the new fundie approved facial hair? Is there something preventing Nurthan from carrying their own offspring instead of little Tessie having to lug him up a set of stone steps with a sling on as if she’s his parent? The flag shirt. Why? Bonus: skip to 31:40 for a real sexy treat. You’re going to thank me.

First Magic Mike commercial of the night. Four-hundred more to go.

Sorry I’m late. Dog had to find just the right spot to pee. It’s here. It’s this show. He’s kicking dirt all over it with his little hind legs now.

LaTonya reminded me so much of my cat. Overfed, well groomed, somewhat independent, charming, sweet as pie yet manipulative, controlling and downright nasty if they don’t get their way. I wouldn’t let him out in the yard this morning and he gave me the same baby voice LaTonya pulled on Dr. Now when she wanted gourmet hospital food. Then when I turned my back he’s all, “So what you saying is I should just take my fat ass home and die!”

Gained? But I’ve been cutting down on the drinks and stuff!

You’re going to have nightmares of a monotone neck tattoo in a construction vest yelling at you tonight.

We is bee-ig.