Eurovision 2017: Make It, Ukraine

[SnideAsides]

May 9, 11, and 13 from Kiev.

All of the songs are out, and... I can't really imagine any of them becoming well-respected winners? There are so many dull ballads with dance music backgrounds this year, you guys.

Predicting a Belgium, Estonia, France, Armenia top four. The UK and Ireland probably would have done well in another year, for once, but: again, SO MANY BALLADS.

[Cosmic Muffin]

My favorites so far are Belgium, Hungary and Finland. But I might not have heard all the entrees so far. Logo ran a few hours of the finale last year, but they're tanking as a channel, so I'm doubtful they will again this year. I hope some other channel makes it easy to watch.

[vavera4ka]

My (non-my-country) top 5 are Armenia, Israel, France, Ukraine and Spain. I love the staging of Swedish entry: quite simple in concept but done extremely well.

I'm ecstatic about my home country's entry: Belarus is FINALLY represented by Belarusian language song. Historyja majho žyccia by Naviband. I'm head over heels about the duo and how happy and energetic the song is. I can't rank it, I'm way too invested in this one to be objective.  I'm beseeching Europe to vote for it so there are more non-English songs that show culture. I mean even the Balkans are slowly shifting away from their music, and I've always been looking forward to hearing Balkan entries specifically because they were always culture and language driven.

[SnideAsides]

Russia's artist has been banned from entering Ukraine because she performed in Crimea. It's after the song submission deadline, which means they're basically disqualified from competing.

[Bill1978]

May someone clarify what exactly a country means when they say they will not be competing this year due to the expense. I know each country has to pay a fee to the EBC {??) but that fee is not really Eurovision related as shown by Romania being booted due to not paying their debt last year. So when Bosnia said they won't be entering this year due to cost - what are the costs they are talking about.

I'm trying hard to really avoid hearing all the songs in full until the CD is released, but I did watch the compilation of the entries aand in those 30 seconds - nothing jumped out at me and said I am the winner. Which is a good thing I think.

[SnideAsides]

My understanding is that EBU membership fees (which cover all of the EBU's content, not just Eurovision; a lot of it is news services and radio simulcasts but they also usually get a group deal for the Olympics and the World Cup and so forth) are different from the fee for entering the contest itself (which is used to pay most of the contest's cost and save the host broadcaster from bankruptcy). I would guess Romania didn't pay their membership fees on time, and Bosnia couldn't justify the extra expense of the contest.

[Bill1978]

Thank you for your thoughts SnideAsides. That makes sense. A;; I could think of was that it was expencses realted to the staging and I thought I expensive is it to send an act that just stands on a bare stage and sings LOL

[vavera4ka]

Apparently Russia has officially withdrawn and is not airing the show.

[Bill1978]

Not sure Russia withdrew voluntarily. I can't find it right now, but the official statement makes it very clear that Russia was given two options to compete this year but they chose not to take up the two options. Either broadcast via satellite OR choose a new act. The EBC though is clearly not thrilled with the Ukrainian Government's stance by also strongly condemning the decision to bar the Russian entry from entering Ukraine. My gut says if Ukraine won last year with a sweet ditty about making love amongst dandelions, Russia wouldn't have pulled the stunt they did.

[vavera4ka]

Well, first of all, Ukraine wouldn't have won with a sweet ditty song lol

Russia could have done like Ukraine "threatened" to do. They said right away, that id Sergey wins, Ukraine is not participating in 2017. Sore loser? yes. But also straight forward with no games and provocations.

Russia chose different route. They chose a handicapped girl (can't boo her like past few contestants, or you are a terrible human beeing) who has violated the border law. Russia never wanted to take part in this year's contest, or they would have chosen, for example, this year's The Voice winner. They didn't want to be labeled as "sore loser" but a "victim". Rather machiavellian if you ask me. They started the process, and everyone did exactly what Russia foresaw them to do. Now Ukraine is a stubborn villain, EBU is a spineless money grabbing sheep, and Russia is a cute, white and fuzzy victim that is pouting with head held high.

Ukraine could have "turned the other cheek", but not to someone who they believe to be an agressor and provocateur. 

[SnideAsides]

If that's true, that means their passive-aggressive thing about whatsherface singing a better song next year won't happen either, since one of the entry requirements is that you broadcast the previous year's show. And Russia in particular should know this, since they were banned from the 1999 contest because they refused to air 1998's final after they were relegated due to their shitty scores.

[TimWil]

I don't know why Italy's song hasn't been mentioned yet. It's as mad as a box of frogs but both the performer and song are sort of adorable and I ended up with a goofy grin by the end.

[SnideAsides]

I wouldn't be opposed to an Italy win, it's just that... like, how do you transfer the ridiculousness of its video to the Eurovision stage AND get taken seriously? I'm not sure it's possible.

[vavera4ka]

Eurovision? being taken seriously? lol

jokes aside, I doubt he is shooting for a seriousness, even though the lyrics are rather deep. He is going for that "quality trash" niche that has always done well at the contest. I have warmed up to the song since I've first heard it. Not my fav, but maybe top 10.

As for stage. He is ridiculously charismatic, I think the staging will be all about him, (and an ape? lol), pretty minimalistic.

I can't wait till the rehearsals start.

[TimWil]

The video of him performing it onstage at the San Remo Festival was pretty damned good. He's got the win locked down. No other song comes close.

Michelle Visage and Ross Matthews will do the commentary for Logo. I'm not a fan of Matthews but Visage should be really good. I didn't care for the conmentators last year.

 

Edited April 28, 2017 by TimWil

[Bill1978]

Here are some stats for the semis, that might help with predicting who will make it through to the finals. These ranks are based on the country's average position in the Semi-Finals from 2008-2016.

Semi-Final #1

1 Australia*

2 Sweden

3 Azjerbaijan

4 Greece

5 Armenia

6 Iceland

7 Moldova

8 Georgia

9 Belguim

10 Finland

11 Portugal

12 Albania

13 Poland

14 Montenegro

15 Cyprus

16 Slovenia

17 Latvia

18 Czech Republic

*Only participated in one semi-final so the statistics for this country is really invalid.

Semi-Final #2

1 Romania

2 Denmark

3 Norway

4 Serbia

5 Lithuania

6 Malta

7 Hungary

8 Austria

9 Israel

10 Estonia

11 Ireland

12 Croatia

13 Netherlands

14 Belarus

15 Bulgaria

16 Macedonia

17 Switzerland

18 San Marino

 

When the Grand Final participants are finalised, I'll post the ranks for the Grand Final based on the past.

[SnideAsides]

Well, that was... an experience. In addition to the hosting being so bad it made me long for the golden days of Vienna 2015, and in addition to the audio levels being all over the place, and in addition to some really really bizarre staging choices (really, Montenegro? No backup dancers for THAT?!), apparently half of the commentary booths (including Australia) had no power for like the entire first third of the show. GO TEAM.

[SnideAsides]

If I may shout into the void for a minute, HOW THE HELL DID CROATIA QUALIFY.

[aradia22]

OK, I left it for the last moment but I got through all the videos. 

My favorite by a LONG SHOT is the Netherlands. Not the strongest lyrics but arguably the best vocals (those lady harmonies!) and I really enjoyed the song. As usual there were a lot of power ballads and tortured love songs but this actually had momentum and drama in the music. It built to something.

Other notable songs...

Sweden is knockoff Justin Timberlake but a decent knockoff and points for choreographed dancing.

I know Belarus isn't anything special but I like those kinds of songs (that genre, I mean) and thought they did a decent job with theirs.

Austria was pleasant. I'll take it over Ireland.

Czech Republic was a little boring in the lyrics but a good (slightly) unique voice and again, it reminded me of older songs I like.

Australia was like knockoff Adele sung by a guy who did not look like he was singing the track he was lip-syncing for the video. As far as the guys go, Bulgaria gives him a run for his money. I'd put Croatia in there but I didn't like his voice in the upper register without the glasses.

Macedonia had a very cool video. I liked the virtual reality thing. The song was just fine but the video made it interesting. 

Hungary was pretty good but I didn't bother to look up the translated lyrics. Probably wouldn't listen to it again. I've already heard plenty of Spain's songs in their American versions but the few English lyrics (again without the translation of the Spanish) sounded creepy. 

I predict Montenegro and Iceland could be very popular in the clubs and with it airing on Logo, it could give those performers a substantial gay fanbase. Armenia doesn't have a song for the clubs but I could see someone camping up the video even more. Same for Latvia but to a lesser extent. That got weird. Georgia also doesn't sound like a club song but I see potential for having fun with it... also it'd be easy for a drag queen to get a wig like that. I like its Bond theme silliness. 

Of the rest, I would listen to Finland, Cyprus, Poland, Belgium, Serbia, Estonia, and the UK but they weren't anything special. Good job on the UK though for finally sending someone decent even if she seemed like she came from X Factor. 

[Bill1978]

How Statistics Say The Grand Final Will End

1 Australia

2 Ukraine

3 Azjerbaijan

4 Italy

5 Armenia

6 Sweden

7 Greece

8 Romania

9 Norway

10 Denmark

11 Germany

12 Hungary

13 France

14 Spain

15 Moldova

16 Belguim

17 Austria

18 United Kingdom

19 Israel

20 Netherlands

21 Bulgaria

22 Poland

23 Belarus

24 Portugal

25 Croatia

26 Cyprus

[aradia22]

That's the top 5??? If that actually happens, Eurovision is back to being bonkers again.

[Bill1978]

That's based purely on the average position of where each Country has landed in the Finals since 2008. So Australia is statistically void. It's justsomething I do every year for fun.

[aradia22]

So actually the results pretty much made sense this year. Most of the countries I liked (I mean seriously, not like Montenegro) were in the finals. The top countries... Sweden, Bulgaria, etc. made a lot of sense based on the song or some aspect of the performance. I did not expect people to take to "Hey Mamma" as much as they did. Sure, there's saxophone but that guy has a terrible voice and the song is dumb. From the audience voting, I was surprised there was so little love for Australia and Austria and some countries like that who had perfectly good songs. 

By the time the leaders emerged, I was rooting for Bulgaria. The singer was such a cute little nugget and I thought it was a relatively good song and vocal. Portugal is just... fine to me. I seriously don't think they would have done as well if the singer didn't have some health problem. Maybe I'd feel differently if I looked up the lyrics but their song just felt blah and pedestrian and I didn't get what magical message he was imparting that led him to denigrate the "fireworks" style of musical fun other Eurovision acts embrace. Like, calm down, guy. You also came from a singing competition.

Of course I would have been happy if Netherlands won but I'm happy they placed as high as they did. 

[SnideAsides]

I think the thing with Australia is that, while this is unquestionably the weakest of our three entries, we're also the sort of country that benefits from a massive diaspora vote, and Isaiah wasn't enough of a known quantity to make Aussies living in Europe pick up their phones. Like, Guy Sebastian won the first Australian Idol, and Dami Im won The X-Factor (and Denmark's Anja won The Voice) right at the end of its peak. By the time Isaiah won The X-Factor, the show was dead and was only still running because the network didn't have anything to fill that much airtime with. Not even Australians living in Australia knew who he was, and he just wasn't good enough for us all to get on board.

And... like, I know one of the big record companies is covering the cost of entering and so SBS is kind of forced to pick one of their artists every year, and their having diversity in their charter makes them even more hamstrung (as opposed to the Celebrate Diversity contest being hosted by Blonde White Male, Beardy White Male, and Steve Borschtemi), but... like Anthony Callea is with that record company, you know? Give him the same song (which was a proven jury hit) and staging and I'm pretty sure he'd have finished in the top three, if not won.

[SnideAsides]

2 hours ago, aradia22 said:

Portugal is just... fine to me. I seriously don't think they would have done as well if the singer didn't have some health problem. Maybe I'd feel differently if I looked up the lyrics

Maybe. His sister wrote it and included a line that roughly translates as "Maybe my heart can love enough for both of us."

[TimWil]

I really do think there was a backlash for the Italian entry from the juries because it had been widely considered the favorite. I think it was by far the strongest song. There seemed to have been something lacking in Gabbani's performance but what was with the shots being either medium or long shots? Very few close-ups of Gabbani. I won't accuse anybody of an attempt to sabotage the song's chances but...

The US commentary of Michelle Visage and Ross Matthews was pretty poor. They never revealed their promised Top 5/Top 10 songs and didn't read out one tweet after exhorting viewers to do so to Logo. And once the judges started delivering their scores you could barely hear them. 

[Prairie Fire]

I wish Moldova had won. The sax guy? The dancing? The brides? I floved the whole thing. (Yeah, I come from the school of thought that Eurovision is not to be taken seriously....)

Honestly, I found myself wishing the music would cut out during the Portuguese guy's victory performance and switch to "Hey Mamma" instead, while the Moldovan bridal party "running manned" their way back on stage.

[aradia22]

I thought Australia was good. Good song and the performance and vocal was as competent as you'd expect from someone who placed high on a singing competition. The perfume commercial running behind him was a little silly ;) but that's it.

[vavera4ka]

A month left and no thread for this year? ;)