Quotes: "You're the Panty Police?"

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Alex: Red or yellow tie?
Jo: Why don't you compromise and go with orange?

Jo: BOO!
Alex: ...
Jo: Seriously? You can't even pretend to be scared?
Alex: Nothing's scarier than my real life.

Jo: You found a janitor giving himself a CT scan. [Pac North] has nowhere to go but up.

jo: Have you seen my wedding shoes?
Alex: Why are you wearing your wedding dress?
Jo: It was expensive. I'm going to wear it every Halloween.

Schmitt: I reminded [my mom] that I'm going to Capitol Hill with Nico for Halloween, and she got all weird.
Helm: She's sad you're not helping her hand out candy.
Schmitt: Well, that's what I thought, but then she asked me not to post pictures. She said a lot of our family follows me.
Helm: She doesn't want them to know you still dress up for Halloween?
Schmitt: Yeah, if by "still dress up for Halloween" you mean "are gay," then I think so.

Bailey: All I wanted to do was vent and you gave me useful advice.

Bailey: Man, I don't want to tear his skin, but this is really stuck. I think it's spirit gum. I need more alcohol wipes.
Teddy: What's spirit gum?
Koracik: If you're old enough to know what it is, you're too old for trick-or-treating.
Bailey: You want to put an age limit on Halloween?
Koracik: A town in Canada did. Sixteen. After that, it's just panhandling in a costume.

Eric: I'm saying not everyone likes surprises.
Maureen: Sure. Just people who lack a sense of adventure.

Deluca: Zola looked like she wanted to shiv me this morning. 
Jackson: Really? Why? What did you do?
Deluca: No clue.
Jackson: Yeah, well, welcome to fatherhood, buddy.
Deluca: I'm not trying to be anyone's father.
Jackson: No, you're just taking care of your girlfriend's children while she's behind bars. Totally different.

Teddy: When did everyone start spending so much time on costumes?
Bailey: What's Allison going to be?
Teddy: A baby.
Bailey: Right.
Teddy: You know that Owen's mom made all of his and Megan's costumes when they were little?
Bailey: Like, put sheets over their heads and called them ghosts? 
Teddy: No. Sewed and glue gunned and embroidered. She was an amazing Army nurse and a mom who made other moms feel inept.
Bailey: I don't think anyone equates good costumes with good parenting.

Nurse: Dead bodies like corpses or murder victims?

Hunt: Where's your costume?
Teddy: This is it - kick-ass surgeon

Hunt: What are they supposed to be?
Teddy: Zombies.
Hunt: You dressed our babies up as dead babies?
Teddy: Well, that's a terrible way to put it.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Owen: I need to get a picture of [Allison] in this cute little hat. Oh, come on. Great. My camera's full.
Teddy: You need to delete some pictures.
Owen: No, I just need a bigger phone.

Jackson: Let's go ahead and change her pain meds from IV to oral. 
Maggie: We need to talk. 
Jackson: I am talking. To someone else. Sorry about that. And check her drain output. If it's below 20 cc, we can go ahead and remove it. Yes, you were saying?
Maggie: Your mother would like to have dinner.
Jackson: I know. She texted.
Maggie: She thinks we're still together.
Jackson: Oh.
Maggie: Yeah. "Oh. " I take it you didn't say anything to Richard, then?
Maggie: Well, I never see Richard because he's, um, he's been fired.
Jackson: And that's my fault, too? I'm having trouble keeping track with you. 
Maggie: You know what? It's fine. We can just tell them over dinner. You should bring Vic. That'd be fun. 
Jackson: I should bring Vic. Vic is fun.

Sabi: And I am not a big crier, but I'm telling to you, I cried for days. I mean, that poor little hamster. Long story short never buy a pet on Craigslist. You want to see a picture? It's gross. You'll love it. 
Maggie: Oh, oh, no, thank you.
Sabi: So Uncle Richard got fired? What happened?
Maggie: It's a long story.
Chris: Drinking again?
Maggie: What? No, no. It was a bureaucratic matter.
Sabi: "Bureaucratic matter"? So there's a really long story.

Owen: If you're not up to this, then I can get someone else, you know.
Amelia: Why wouldn't I feel up to it? Because I'm all knocked up? It's okay, Owen. I don't need a fainting couch. I will be fine.

Gemma: You made a sincere attempt at amends. If the other person doesn't want to hear it, that's not on you.

Richard: You know what Chris said to me when I told him I was an alcoholic? "That's what you get." Like ambition was to blame. Like everything would've been fine if I hadn't gotten a big head and left home.

Owen: You don't work here.
Amelia: Well, from what I've heard, most of the people who do lack the skill and sensitivity that I have, so you could just say thank you.

Owen: You don't get to come to my place of work and order me around.
Amelia: I didn't order you around. I ordered her an OB who ordered her some pills.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Linc: Everything okay? 
Owen: Allison had us up till 3.
Teddy: Us? You slept through the whole thing. Or you pretended to.

Helm: No one's suspending Meredith Grey's license. She won a Catherine Fox award. She's a legend.
Nico: Well, I heard she operated on a fellow resident. She took out a healthy appendix.
Helm: No, she and Cristina Yang rescued an intern who removed another intern's appendix incorrectly. They were helping.
That wasn't the other Dr. Grey, the one that died in the plane crash?
Casey: Our Dr. Grey cut a patient's LVAD wire.
See, you consider these things legendary. They're also crimes.

Nancy: If I was on your operating table, you'd want me to follow your instructions, right? Lie there. Breathe in. Fall asleep. Let you do your job. That would be my best shot at survival, right?
Meredith: I see where you're going with this.
Nancy: I'm begging you, Meredith. Sit down, don't talk. And let me do my job. Please.
Meredith: I'm not a baby.
Nancy: No. You're an adult who's completely unable to be quiet no matter how much your well-being depends on it.

Nancy: Does [Castello] remember you?
Meredith: It doesn't seem like it. Which is enraging.

Nancy: Dr. Bailey, you've known Dr. Grey a long time. Could you speak about that at all?
Bailey: I met her when she was an intern.
Nancy: Would you say the two of you have grown close over all this time?
Bailey: No.
Nancy: Didn't Dr. Grey name her son after you?
Bailey: If you're asking if her son's name is Bailey, then, yes, it is.
Nancy: Dr. Grey is a well-respected general surgeon. You've agreed to that.
Bailey: Is that a question?
Nancy: Well, when you became chief of surgery, you asked Dr. Grey to become your chief of general surgery. And from my estimation, a chief of general surgery is extremely skilled, organized, dedicated, communicative. Does that sound correct to you?
Bailey: It does. And she is no longer my chief of general surgery.

Ashley: Dr. Grey has developed quite the disciplinary record over all those years you've known her, hasn't she? Your name is listed as the doctor who reported the following incidents interns, including Dr. Grey, admitting to cutting a patient's LVAD wire. Dr. Grey performed a surgery on an intern without an attending. Dr. Grey instructed a younger resident to remove a brain tumor without consent from the patient or attending. Dr. Grey would not allow an education consultant to enter her OR, so you suspended her. All of these things familiar to you, Dr. Bailey?
Bailey: All true.

Ashley: Dr. Schmitt. Dr. Schmitt. Dr. Schmitt. 
Schmitt: I'm sorry. I, uh, I've never been in a courtroom before.
Ashley: You still haven't. We're in a hotel.

Rando: Ma'am!
Linc: I wouldn't ma'am her.

Koracik: I was really surprised neither side called me in. I moonlight as an expert witness.

Amelia: I need you to operate.
Koracik: Wow. You trying to up my bad outcomes? Whoever smelt it dealt it. This one's all you, Shepherd.

Bailey: I've lost more than my job. I've lost my hospital. I lost my best surgeons. And my best friend. All because someone I thought I raised betrayed me. Now do you know how that feels?
Richard: It hurts pretty bad, doesn't it?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Meredith: Have either one of you seen a package at the house? Cristina was sending something. You know, a "congratulations on not becoming a drifter/getting dumped by a resident" present. Knowing her, it's a cadaver.

Deluca: Bailey rehired you?
Meredith: I was going to tell you but you were too busy dumping me.

Catherine: Richard is working with someone that he may or may not have a romantic past with.
Jackson: So kind of like you and Koracik.
Catherine: That is different
Jackson: How?

Bailey: The best way to fight fear is with information.

Meredith: It may not be a tumor.
Cormac: Maybe you haven't seen many sarcomas.
Meredith: I've seen everything. And I did take out her gall bladder two years ago so some gallstones may have spilled and migrated to her back.
Cormac: So your medical opinion is you did shoddy work?

Cormac: Who are you exactly?
Meredith: Meredith Grey. I'm chief of general surgery.
Cormac: Oh, Grey, yeah. I've heard of you. You're the one who got yourself and half the staff fired.

Ben: Jo, as a reminder, trauma and your brain chemicals can prompt a human being to behave in ways that people with more balanced brain chemistry can have a hard time understanding.

Amelia: Am I a terrible mother and a worse doctor for not getting an ultrasound?
Linc: You haven't gotten an ultrasound?
Amelia: Okay, your question kind of answers my question.

Linc: I want to be supportive because I can see you're upset, but I'm confused.

Maggie: Why didn't you just tell [Koracik] to leave you alone?
Teddy: Because he's my boss and I broke his heart and I feel guilty.
Helm: Wow. So many lawsuits in one explanation.

Simms: Dr. Grey, we have an update on the package you were looking for.
Meredith: Great.
Simms: They haven't found it yet.

Catherine: Richard is having an affair.
Jackson: How do you know that?
Catherine: I saw him. He had her in his office.
Jackson: You saw Richard having sex with someone in his office?
Catherine: The door was closed.

Catherine: Stop defending that man.
Jackson: "That man"? Mom, we're talking about Richard.
Catherine: Yes, Richard, who turned his back on me the minute he hit a little career bump.
Jackson: You fired him.

Nico: Food first, then dessert.
Schmitt: I disagree with that order.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jo: [The baby]'s had a really hard day.
Linc: And it just got harder because now he's been kidnapped.

Linc: Jo stole a baby.
Jo: I did not steal a baby.
Meredith: Well, that's what I said when I stole a baby.
Linc: Why are people stealing babies?

Ben: You good to operate on your residents?
Miranda: It wouldn't be the first time.

Amelia: [Casey] was in the military, right? Do you think he has PTSD?
Teddy: We all do.

Jackson: You [and Teddy] set a date yet?
Owen: We're not engaged.
Jackson: Really? Wow. I figured cause you have two kids together, you live together, you marry everyone.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Cormac: Very good coffee for a hospital. Or for anywhere really.
Meredith: Yeah, Seattle is kind of known for its coffee.

Amelia: I am more pregnant than I thought.

Cormac: You call the ER the pit?
Meredith: Yeah.
Cormac: Why?
Meredith: I don't know.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Schmitt's mom: Is everybody decent?
Schmitt: Except for the ball gag and jock strap, we're good.

Schmitt: Jewish tradition says a friend or family member or designated shomer cannot leave the body of a loved one unattended from the moment they die until they're buried in the ground. Otherwise, their spirit just sort of like, lingers around, confused.
Nico: You're getting that off the internet?
Schmitt: It's tradition. And yes. I'm what they call culturally Jewish. I, you know, eat the bagels and know the five big prayers and went to first base with Shira Levenstein at sleep away camp.

Catherine: That's a terrible story.

Maggie: You say "actually" a lot.

Catherine: This was supposed to be a small family gathering and your plus one brought a plus one.

Catherine: Richard I am sorry, but-
Richard: Apologies don't have the word "but" after them. "I'm sorry but" is too little, Catherine.

Vic: Wait, wait, wait. You live on a boat?
Dean: Yeah.
Maggie: What is it with rich guys and boats?
Vic: You have a boat?
Maggie: Do you tell [Vic] anything?
Jackson: It was an impulse buy. I do have a boat, guilty as charged.
Maggie: "Impulse buy." Shoes are an impulse buy, maybe a car. Jackson bought a yacht. What did you spend? Two million? Three million?
Dean: Where do you dock yours?
Jackson: Getting kind of old now, Maggie. I think you're kind of embarrassing yourself.
Maggie: I'm pretty sure I'm not.

Catherine: I'm not sorry about a damn thing.

Edited February 7, 2020 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Owen: Does Karev know [that Katherine bought Pac North]?
Weber: Well, he's dealing with family issues in Iowa. I call him and tell him the place was gonna close and he texts me a laugh until you cry emoji with a party hat.

Amelia: So you're back together [with Deluca]?
Meredith: I don't know. Why are you so interested?
Amelia: I'm anxious and I deflect when I'm anxious.

Jackson: So who are you bringing back?
Koracik: TBD.
Jackson: Don't act like you haven't decided.
Koracik: It's not an act. It's a managerial nightmare. I promise, I'll let you know as soon as I've made a decision.
Bailey: What decision?
Jackson: The foundation's absorbing Pac North and its employees. 
Bailey: Oh.
Jackson: Yup.
Bailey: In that event, uh, I'd like to make some recommendations.
Koracik: About the people you impulsively fired to set in motion a chain of events I'm still trying to clear up? No, thank you.

Bailey: Good lord, people. Just because you're injured doesn't mean you can't shower.
Simms: Dr. DeLuca said we could only eat and sleep.

Webber: If Catherine thinks she can just move me where she wants like she's playing chess and I'm some pawn-
Koracik: You're not a pawn. A rook at least. Maybe a knight.

Lauren: So you lost 25 pounds two years ago? Were you dieting?
Suzanne: I had a 6 year old and an 11 year old who were maniacs and never let me sit down. Is that a diet?

Jackson: How's Richard doing?
Maggie: Not great. How's Catherine?
Jackson: Mourning in her typical way - traveling and buying a bunch of extravagant stuff.
Maggie: When we broke up, I went online and bought a pair of jeans. Catherine went to Paris and bought a hospital.

Irene: We love the Internet. We get to watch ourselves all over again.
Schmitt: Most people hate it for that very same reason.

Amelia: [Koracik] made you interview for your old job?
Owen: No, he made me wait all day, then he made me interview. Now he's making me wait out here again while he consults with Catherine Fox.
Amelia: And you're doing it? 
Owen: Yeah. 
Amelia: Why?
Owen: Because if I give him just one reason not to give me a job here then he wins. He doesn't like me. He doesn't want me around.
Amelia: You stole his girlfriend.
Owen: Yeah, I did.

Jackson: This'll pass, you know. It feels bad now but soon enough, you guys will be joking about this over coffee.
Webber: Son, after Godzilla's done stomping all over Tokyo, the mayor doesn't take Godzilla to brunch.
Jackson: Okay, you are heartbroken so I'll forget the fact that you just compared my mother to a giant lizard monster.

Bailey: I hate that [Joey]'s all alone. I hate that he has nowhere to go.
Jo: I was him and Alex was him and we turned out okay. It's not hopeless. It's just not easy.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jo: His wife is in love with someone else. I just lied to him while he has a nose in his arm because he saved her from a bear.
Jackson: Sometimes patient care is complicated.

Meredith: How do you tell health obsession from mania?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Tess: Haven't you done like a million of those? Why are you practicing? 
Richard: I'm experienced because I practice.

Tess: I can't. I'm not ready.
Richard: Do you know how many of your classmates beg to do procedures when they're not ready?
Tess: By the way you formed the question, I assume it's a big number.

Cormac: Yang spoke a lot about Karev. She used to call him the devil or something? 
Meredith: Evil Spawn.

Linc: Misery loves company so I brought donuts and despair.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Bailey: You change careers like sweaters.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Teddy: You're acting weird.
Koracik: I'm being nice.
Teddy: Which, for you, with Owen is weird.

Vic: I was going to bake you something but "Sorry I kind of moved into your place without telling you" doesn't really fit on a cupcake.

Griffin: I'll take the kindness even if it's insincere.

Noelle: "Do not hire this person. Shrug emoji. Poop emoji. Thumbs down emoji. Zero stars."
Schmitt: I'm sure you can have that removed if you contact customer service.
Noelle: You sound like someone who's never tried to do that.

Griffin: Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people persist in adapting the world to themselves. Therefore all progress depends on unreasonable people.

Jo: "Word"? Really?
Linc: I know.

Bailey: Deluca, telling me you're doing your job isn't a part of doing your job.

Deluca: With Dr. Webber handing off his entire service, I just thought I could help.
Bailey: Webber handed off his entire service? Why?
Deluca: I don't really know because gossip isn't a part of my job. I'm a surgeon.

Jo: You're not okay. You're not yourself. Listen to people when they tell you that.

Edited March 13, 2020 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Amelia: Linc's the father. I know Maggie told you that it might be Owen's but it's not.
Jo: I already knew. Linc sent me a bitmoji last night of a baby's body with his face on it which I can't unsee.

Meredith: You had to pick today to start telling jokes, Hunt?

Schmitt: Nico and I are going to this new speakeasy after work. Want to come?
Helm: Watching my friend fawn over a guy who doesn't treat him as an equal because the sex is good is not my idea of fun, even when there's alcohol.

Richard: Did Catherine send you to spy on me?
Jackson: Why would you say that, Richard?
Richard: Would you put it past her?
Jackson: Okay, fair enough.

Schmitt: I think I dumped myself. Is that even possible? Oh, wait. Of course it is. I'm me.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Winston: We only have 36 more hours to get to know each other so I'm going to do a lightning round. Don't think. Just answer. Favorite snack food.
Maggie: Pretzels.
Winston: Wow. You failed your first question.
Maggie: How can I fail at naming my favorite thing?
Winston: Because pretzels are only the favorite snack food of prisoners who haven't had snacks in years and don't remember what snacks are supposed to taste like.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jo: Your mom made these for you every day? Why did you move out?
Schmitt: She also folded my underwear, threw away articles of clothing that didn't flatter my nice butt, and every time I tried to talk about a problem she just shoved a plate of food at me.
Jo: Like I said, I don't get it.

Catherine: You smell like a garbage fire.

Catherine: No one even noticed that [Richard] wasn't himself, that he was deteriorating?
Jackson: In fairness to us, I think we thought he was depressed because his wife both left him and bought the hospital that he was working at.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Linc: Hey, mommy.
Amelia: Nope.
Linc: You call me baby daddy.
Amelia: And now I will never do that again.

Helm: Congratulations about tonight. Even though marriage is an outdated concept, I still think it's neat.

Jo: I don't even know what I'd put in my profile. I hate everything. Well, except mac and cheese from a box.

Jo: What about you, Jackson? Do you use a dating app? Wait, what's your profile picture? A shirtless selfie of you on your yacht or on your jet?
Cormac: You have a jet?
Jackson. No. I mean, my family, like the foundation has a jet.

Andrew: I want to scrub in.
Bailey: And I want a house in Hawaii.

Jo: The only people that smile all the time are clowns and sociopaths.

Carina: I know you said no medications, but-
Amelia: There's fentanyl in the epidural! Nobody advertises that!

Amelia: I can't push anymore. I can't, I can't! I'm done! I'm dying!
Bailey: You can. Think of all those women you were talking about, the women that do this every day.
Amelia: I hate those women! They all have drugs and masturbation and then C sections!

Linc: [The baby]'s so small.
Amelia: Don't say that to the person who just pushed him out.

Meredith: There's no better gift you can give someeone than saying you saved the person they love.

Edited April 10, 2020 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jackson: It's definitely not a date.
Jo: I didn't bother wearing pants.

Jo: Is that your date food? Omigawd, Jackson, no girl wants to take their clothes off after eating cheese and cured meat.
Jackson: Thanks for coming over and totally mocking me.

Jo: Is that Kenny G? [gasp] Do you only have romantic soft pillow sex?

Jo: I just realized I've never dated a rich guy. I mean, doctors have money but you're like collect art rich.

Schmitt: They said they wanted to talk to my boss.
Bailey: Tell them you're the boss next time.
Schmitt: Really?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Helm: Are you plotting something evil?

Teddy: This virus is like a drunk uncle at a wedding. You've got no idea what it's going to do or when it's going to turn on you.

Jo: You've having sex with Nico because the Dutch government recommends it?
Schmitt: Their country ranks very high on the world happiness index. Stop judging. It's wartime but I still have needs.

Jo: What I need friendship and sex. I am not - really not - looking for a relationship, especially with someone like you.
Jackson: Someone like me?
Jo: Yeah, you know, Mr. Can't Be Alone But Sometimes Skips Town to Go on Nature Journeys?
Jackson: Oh, okay, but you can be friends with and have sex with Mr. Can't Be Alone. Got it.
Jo: Yes. The Netherlands has recommended that its residents find a regular sex buddy during the pandemic for safety.
Jackson: Sounds wise.
Jo: Doesn't it? You thought I wanted to date you?
Jackson: Why is that so funny?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jo: Was I really amazing [in surgery] or is [Khan] just some weird happy person?

Jo: Do you think that's why Carina Deluca is always in such a good mood? She's just handing out babies and it shoots her serotonin levels through the roof.
Schmitt: Well, yeah, but doesn't she also have an orgasm hobby?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Winston: They were out of oat milk so it's going to be almond.
Maggie: Savages.

Helm: There's a huge trauma that just came in.
Richard: Did Hunt ask for help?
Helm: No.
Richard: Did he ask you to come to stare at me?

Teddy: I just needed to be in a room with someone that doesn't hate me.
Koracik: Well, no one can clear a remarkably low bar like Tom Koracik.

Cormac: Luna Ashton's mother is your patient, right?
Jo: Why?
Cormac: Luna has a bronchagenic cyst. I'd like to get her into the OR before it causes respiratory distress. I thought you'd like to join me to tell her mom.
Jo: Noooooo.
Cormac: Okay, suit yourself.
Jo: No, I just don't want you to tell her either. I don't want anyone to tell her.
Cormac: I suppose we could sneak Luna in and say it was emergent and she was sleeping and we didn't have time to ask her.
Jo: Really?
Cormac: No! What's wrong with you?

Koracik: Wow, I asked you for one thing, Altman.
Teddy: You asked me for the truth.
Koracik: No, I didn't ask you for that because the truth is relative.

Edited March 12, 2021 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Schmitt: Guilt is my go-to.
Nico: My go-to is numb.
Schmitt: Wow. Did you just describe exactly was wrong with our relationship in only five words?

Amelia: What is this?
Link: It looks like whiskey.
Amelia: What was it doing on the top shelf behind the fancy candlesticks?
Link: What were you doing on the top shelf behind the fancy candlesticks?
Amelia: Are you drunk?
Link: It's nine in the morning!
Amelia: Plenty of people get drunk at nine in the morning.

Amelia: Not all of us have to drink to cope.
Link: You don't have to or you don't get to?

Meredith: This is torture!
Derek: It's a torture of your own devising. You're always good at that.
Meredith: Good at what?
Derek: Torturing yourself.
Meredith: I don't do that as much anymore.

[knock on door]
Jo: Who is it?
Link: It's Jackson Avery. I'm here for a quick bang.

Link: I brought whiskey.
Jo: Oh, we're day drinking!

Byron: Omigawd, my mask! I'm not wearing my mask!
Maggie: Honey, you're not wearing anything.

Jo: I'm not having my own [babies] any time soon.
Jackson: Fingers crossed.
Jo: Or maybe ever.
Link: I've got like fifteen of them at home.

Jo: It's so unfair. You and Amelia didn't even want a baby and then you got one and neither of you died.
Link: Oh, poor you. You're young and single and dating a plastic surgeon.
Jackson: We're not dating.
Jo: It's just sex.

Jo: Jackson wants to run away to the woods.
Link: Ooh, nice, can I come?
Jackson: No, that would defeat the purpose.

Jackson: Trees don't murder people. Trees are not racist. Trees do not politicize a disease and convince million of people not to protect themselves and others by using a simple piece of damn fabric on their faces.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Teddy: We hurt Owen.
Koracik: No, you hurt Owen. I’m just the guy driving the getaway car.

Teddy: Can we talk about this somewhere else?
Deluca: Teddy, this OR is very familiar with your private life.

Owen: What is wrong with you? You’re taking her side.
Amelia: You’re pissed because she has a Cristina, and you don’t like it. Why can’t Teddy be allowed to love more than one person when you have?
Owen: I never lied about having past relationships, okay? She did.
Amelia: Ask yourself why, Owen. She probably had PTSD from losing the love of her life in a horrific tragedy. You of all people should understand that.
Owen: Then why didn’t she just tell me that?
Amelia: Do you walk around telling everyone about how you strangled Cristina?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jo: It looks to me like it's kidney stones so I'd like to get a CT-
Cormac: Then what are you waiting for?
Jo: I'm waiting for you to let me finish a single sentence but I'll give up on that now.

Amelia: If you had told me two years ago that you and I would be excited to spend the afternoon together with six small children.
Teddy: I know that Owen asked you to babysit me. You don't have to put on a show.
Amelia: Both things can be true.

 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Amelia: What would our wedding even look like?
Linc: Mmm, rooftop, French Quarter, New Orleans, April or early May.
Amelia: For someone who doesn’t want to get married, you answered that really fast.
Linc: It’s a magical place. Just don’t go in June. It’s hot and smells bad by then.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Winston: As far as I can tell, Seattle real estate is the Hunger Games with kitchens.

Bailey: Have Schmitt do her hyperbaric treatment today.
Teddy: Do we think that Schmitt's qualified?
Bailey: He'll be fine. I'll put the fear of God in him.
Teddy: That almost sounds fun.

Maggie: We're just trying to work out this living situation.
Helm: Oh, you're worried? You're wondering if he prefers using the bathroom with the door wide open?
Ortiz: Or puts ketchup on his eggs.
Maggie: Who puts ketchup on their eggs?
Ortiz: Over 54% of Americans, actually.

Paramedic: Okay, we have Guy Houston, 22. Took a rubber bullet to the chest. Defibrillated in the field for V-fib.
Guy: I think "died" is the word you're looking for.

Tseng: Chad Anderson, 40s, no past medical history, according to him. EMTs brought him. He evidently collapsed while jogging. I've given him O2, but he's still experiencing shortness of breath, as well as foot irritation.
Chad: Look, I'm fine, okay? As I was trying to explain to your nurse here-
Bailey: DOCTOR Tseng. She's a second year surgical resident.
Tseng: Yeah, but-
Bailey: Pull your mask up.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Erika: There was this poem I read in high school. This lady stood near a cliff, afraid to get close to the edge for a better view because she thought she might fall. But then someone pushed her.
Bailey: Was the poem about murder?

 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jackson: Mom said something to me that I cannot get out of my head.
Robert: Yeah, she has a talent for that.

Robert: Ever use a commercial meat slicer?
Jackson: When would I have done that?
Robert: A summer job? Anyway, it reminds me of the OR, without the pressure of possibly killing someone.

April: Please don't do that. Don't be all weird-nice with your voice an octave higher like you do with people at hotels or at the bank.
Jackson: I have a weird bank voice now?

April: Why does anyone have an electric water heater? A power outage is when you need hot water the most.

Jackson: I went to see my dad again.
April: Oh, gawd. Is he sick?
Jackson: No, he's the same as always - obliviously medium happy about his obliviously medium life.

April: Whenever you [and Matthew] are in the same room together, you say one of three things: "Yup," "Sure," "Not a problem."

April: Last week, [Harriet] told me that she could hear "werewoofs" throwing up in your basement.
Jackson: Really? I don't even have a basement.
April: Oh, I'm aware.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Maggie: Are you happy?
Meredith: I am happy. I'm just not sure I believe you.

Koracik: Do I know you? Your forehead and your irises look familiar.
Chee: I'm an intern here. James Chee.
Helm: He almost quit after his first day when you took over the class.
Koracik: Oh, right. Not my finest moment.

Bailey: To clarify what just happened, Jackson Avery is now-
Webber: Our boss.

Meredith: Have I ever told you that my days of wearing ugly bridesmaid dresses are over?
Maggie: Who said you were going to be a bridesmaid?

Hayes: Vanilla?
Jo: Vanelle.
Hayes: That's your handwriting?
Jo: Yeah. I just, oh, I, uh, sorry, I was in a rush.
Hayes: Great. That's what we'll tell the parents when it's wrong on the birth certificate.
Jo: Crap. Give me a pen.

Jackson: These last couple months, um, thank you.
Jo: You're thanking me for all the sex? 
Jackson: I'm thanking you for being a good friend, especially when I really needed one. Also the sex is worth a thank you.

Jackson: Now that you're a resident again, I do have some dry cleaning I need picked up before I leave town.

Bailey: Whatever happened to putting in your two weeks? One day's notice. You know, Avery should have to hire his own replacement as far as I'm concerned.

Meredith: So... I win.
Jackson: How's that?
Meredith: I'm the last man standing. It was you and me from our residency class. Everyone else has either abandoned me or died. We were the only two left.
Jackson: You think they're giving out a medal for that? I could stick around.
Meredith: They probably should because it sucks.

Meredith: You're not going to come to my clap-out?
Jackson: How do you know about the clap-out?
Meredith: Are you new here? No one can keep a secret.

Koracik: They teach you that at the clinic?
Chee: No. I grew up with it. I was born into a family of healers.
Koracik: Same here. Only change healer to failed Broadway singer and substitute math teacher.

Owen: Meredith's house, it just has this power. It's like a magnetic pull. Karev used to call it the Sister House, because no matter who else lives there, you're just kind of in their orbit.
Winston: They do have a special bond.
Linc: You're making it sound like a coven. It's just a house. 
Winston: It's nice there, man. It always smells like toasted waffles in the kitchen, and the kids are excited when you walk through the door.

Edited May 26, 2021 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Lya167]

Derek: She's in the car, she's in the car and she won't stop crying.
Cristina: Did you propose?
Derek: Noo! She went to William's execution

- //-

Meredith: You don't remember me. But I remember you. As the coward who stood
over my dying husband...
...the love of my life, and you didn't even attempt to do burr holes after he failed to get him a head CT. Burr holes!I was doing burr holes as an intern.'

That one night should have cost you your entire career, but instead you're sitting up here judging me? You don't deserve to judge anyone.

- //-

Arizona: Oh my God! I mean, I understand why you're into her. She's hot. Wait, she likes you?
Nathan: What? I mean, I'm going to try not to be offended at that.
Arizona: No, no, no. It's just that Derek was, Derek was epic for her. They were the great love story. I mean, that girl's heart beat for Derek Shepherd. It just, it never occurred to me that she would ever be with anyone else. He was perfect. He was everything. That man turned her world.

-//-

Nurse: You have an appointment?

Amelia: I don't. Uh, could you just point me in the direction of his office?

Mark: I'm sorry. She has that look on her face because the last time someone walked into this hospital looking for Dr. Shepherd without an appointment, he shot him.

Amelia: Mark! Oh. Oh, my God!

Mark: Hi, Amy.

Amelia: You still look hot.

Mark: And you, uh, look a lot more grown-up than when I last saw you.

Amelia: You can say "hot, " you know? 'Cause I am. I'm hot.

Mark: No, I can't, because in my mind, you're still Derek's 12-year-old sister. Huh. So what are you doing in Seattle?

Amelia: Uh, Derek's an ass who won't return my calls. Derek's an ass who got shot and won't return my calls, so I brought him a present or a bribe or a peace offering. 

 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jo: This place wasn't built for three people. Guests don't bring other guests.

Meredith: If history has shown us anything, one person's normal is another's complete chaos.

Winston: Do you care if we get two cakes? Because Nana Auntie has this thing about a groom's cake.
Maggie: Do you mind if we have threecakes?

Owen: I am so relieved that you're on call instead of Koracick.
Amelia: Koracick no longer works here.
Owen: Wait, really? Who got to fire him?

Bailey: If I don't want to talk about that and you don't want to talk about you, then we better get another kid out here or something.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Helm: Did you know that every avocado sold commercially originates from a tree this one dude had in his backyard?
Schmitt: No, but did I know that an avocado has more potassium than a banana.
Helm: Well, did you know that if you ate 400 bananas, you might overdose on potassium?
Schmitt: Why would you say that? You know I worry about dying.

Jo: I'm smart and I'm capable and I have made livable homes out of the humblest of places, including my car. But I deserve more than just livable.

Hayes: Your name will be back up there [on the surgery board] soon.
Meredith: I don't know. They gave me an office. And a desk. And a chair.
Hayes: Wow, a chair? They must really fancy you.

Hayes: You could have just said no, you know. When I asked you out for a drink. You didn't have to pass out and spend two months in the hospital just to avoid turning me down.

Amelia: The relief and the joy and the hope, I mean, I felt that for, like 30 seconds. And then just all the worst-case scenarios started screaming in my head. I mean, not for her. For me, for my family, my son. And I don't know why my thinking is so dark, except addict. But it's been a year. So much fear. And I know you guys all get it. And my boyfriend, my child's father, he is not one of us. And I am so glad that he does not have to go through life like that. But sometimes, there's a part of me that wishes he got it. You know, just really got it. I feel lonely in it.

Hayes: Humpty Dumpty's an egg?

Linc: But you're cool if I change [Luna's] name, right?
Jo: Shut up.
Linc: Hear me out - Hildegard.

Jo: I realized something that's going to make your foster application a shoo-in: owning part of the hospital!
Linc: How nice of you to think of me. 
Jo: I need the money for stupid adoption legal fees and a family-sized home, but nobody wants my shares because hospitals are just bleeding money during the pandemic and it's, quote, "the worst investment of all time."
Linc: Really selling me on the idea.
Jo: Okay, I didn't want to have to go down this route, but as part owner, I'm kind of your boss so I could just order you to buy them.
Linc: Okay, but then wouldn't I be your boss and I could just make you buy them back?

Owen: Leo made me bring you a very special celebration meal.
Teddy: Mac and cheese?
Owen: Yep. In a mug. He was very adamant about it being in a dinosaur mug.

Jo: Wait, you guys haven't talked about marriage since [Amelia] said she didn't want to get married?

Linc: What do you think [about this engagement ring]? It's too small, right?
Jo: You got another diamond ring?
Linc: I'm not stupid. I got a sapphire, too.
Jo: Okay, stop. This is getting weird.
Linc: I need your advice!
Jo: I am your best friend, not hers, so I'm not sure which one she'd like. They're all so beautiful. She's going to love whatever you pick.
Linc: Should I have gotten a fourth?
Jo: Okay, you're literally holding the value of three of my lofts in your hand.

Meredith: I was just hoping that dying patients who've recovered from COVID were eligible for lung transplants.
Hayes: What a world that would be. Got you a present. Might help.
Meredith: It's open and half-empty.
Hayes: Short notice. Unless you'd rather pass out again to get out of this.

Amelia: Okay, Leo, this one is from Auntie Amelia.
Linc: And Uncle Linc.
Amelia: Uh, no, this one is just from Auntie Amelia.
Leo: Whoa! It's a brain!
Amelia: It's educational and fun!
Linc: Yep, that one is definitely just from Aunt Amelia.

Richard: It doesn't have to work. You know that, right?
Amelia: Me and Linc?
Richard: You and anyone. You have a child. You'll always have a connection. And I'm sure you love each other, but it doesn't have to work.
Amelia: It really sounds like you're telling me to leave him. But that also doesn't sound like something you'd ever say.
Richard: I'm definitely not telling you that. You know, something I've noticed in recovery. You know we get it in our heads that the addiction is the only reason our lives were a mess, so we think, "Well, I'm sober. It should be working." And that's not always the case. And I'm not saying that either one of you are doing anything wrong. But you're allowed to want what you want. Even if it's not what he wants.

Koracik: You won't even know I'm here, aside from board meetings, expense reports, weekly progress reports.

[BooksRule]

Yang: 'Katie competes in beauty pageants.'

Derek: 'I know that, but we have to save her life anyway.'

('A hard day's night', Season 1, episode 1)

[BooksRule]

Izzie: 'If you wait a few minutes you can have a piece of cake. Baked it chock-full of luv. Actually, chock-full of unrelenting rage and hostility. But, still tasty.'

('The self-destruct button', Season 1, episode 7)

[BooksRule]

Derek (to Alex): 'You might wanna leave before I change my mind and let her beat you to a pulp with her tiny ineffectual fists.' ('Winning the battle, losing the war', Season 1, Episode 3)

[BooksRule]

Bailey: 'Nobody holds a scalpel till I'm so happy I'm Mary Freakin' Poppins!' 

('The first cut is the deepest', Season 1, Episode 2)

[BooksRule]

Bailey: 'No one is taking home a kidney in a jar! Diseased kidneys are not tchotchkes for your coffee tables!' ('There's no I in team', Season 5, Episode 5)

[BooksRule]

I just watched the episode following Derek's death, and had to laugh at this exchange between Ben and Bailey (Bailey doesn't want any extraordinary measures taken if she's ever considered to be brain-dead; Ben wants everything possible done for as long as possible):

Ben: 'There are documented cases of people waking up after years...'

Bailey: 'There are also cases of people seeing the Loch Ness monster, too. So what!? I will be locked up like some nun, withering and wasting away, lonely and alone. All because you're mad at Jesus. So, I don't get to have Idris. You're taking away my Idris chance.'

Ben: 'What!?'

Bailey: 'Idris. Elba! He could come to Seattle. Witness an accident. Save a child's life. Carry that child in his arms, bare-chested, into my trauma room. You don't know!'

Ben: 'So, you're gonna to pull the plug on me so you could have your way with Idris Elba?'

Bailey: 'It's Idris Elba!'

[txhorns79]

That moment where Ellis destroyed her daughter with a two or three minute speech (though Meredith was insensitive in telling her mother she was just waiting to be inspired):

Dr. Ellis Grey: What happened to you?

Dr. Meredith Grey: What do you mean?

Dr. Ellis Grey: You're happy? You're happy now? The Meredith I knew was a force of nature. Passionate, focused, a fighter. What happened to you? You've gone soft. Stammering about a boyfriend and saying that you're waiting to be inspired. You're waiting for inspiration? Are you kidding me? I have a disease for which there is no cure, I think that would be inspiration enough. Listen to me Meredith. Anyone can fall in love and be blindly happy. But not everyone can pick up a scalpel and save a life. I raised you to be an extraordinary human being, so imagine my disappointment when I wake up after five years and discover that you're no more than ordinary. What happened to you?

 

 

[BooksRule]

5 hours ago, txhorns79 said:

I raised you to be an extraordinary human being, so imagine my disappointment when I wake up after five years and discover that you're no more than ordinary. What happened to you?

I get mad every time I see that episode.  Ellis was such a terrible mother.

[BooksRule]

Callie (furiously drawing on a whiteboard): 'This is you!'

Derek: 'I'm an asterisk?'

Callie: 'You think you are the white hot center of the universe. (pauses) Also, it looks like a butthole.  Either way it works.'

[BooksRule]

Bailey: 'All I keep thinking is that we are going to crash on a tropical island and get attacked by a polar bear.'

Richard: 'I don't know what you mean.'

Bailey: 'You should watch more TV.'

('Remember the time', S9 E2)

[BooksRule]

Linc: 'This bakery's across town!'

Jo: 'It's for Meredith.'

Linc (puzzled): 'Does she like faraway cake?'

('I'll follow the sun', S19, E7)