Season Three General Discussion

[Ridgerunner]

http://www.realitytvscandals.com/2015/05/07/exclusive-meet-heather-baygas-ex-girlfriend-of-matt-brown-from-alaskan-bush-people/

Ok Beden.....this is it...not sure where the other one came from. Lol

[Beden]

Thanks Ridgey--can't say I'm even slightly surprised, just conforms pretty much what we already either knew or suspected and yes, if the production company is seriously releasing unshown clips then it's probable that this will be back.

 

Can't wait.

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

You GUYSSS... But the FISH PUNCHING!!!

[Ridgerunner]

Humane don't-cha know hawkhd? But, from the looks of his knuckles the fish got a couple humane shots in, themselves. But, they've lived "wild" for so long I am amazed they know the definition to the word humane. Heck, from the way he beats the poor things, he doesn't.

But, on a lighter note, what was the biggest fish the caught? The pink/red one?

And I've been sitting around watching re-runs (no life having lower 48er, that I am) & just noticed the day her family called all Ami wanted to do was "go lay down!" Must be attributed to her anxiety. Bahahahahaha!!

[Beden]

I'm the person who stopped fishing the day I caught a fair-sized pike, was rounded congratulated by my grandfather and cried when he didn't let it go, insisting on having it for dinner...but...I think they called that red/orange fish a 'yelloweye'.

 

Much as I love me a nice broiled fish dinner, out in the local bush my sympathies are entirely with the wildlife. Us wussy lower 48ers...Hey, Ridgey--you just gave us our collective name, you cleverpuss, you! Now we won't die unknown and forgotten, thank the good lord.

 

And Hawk--I can see this as a new Olympic sport...no, better.. I've got it; 'I'll take fish punching for $200, Alec'

[clod]

we've seen them fishing by hand.  and fakely crab fishing with a pot.   is this the first time they've used fishing poles on the show  (to fish) ?

 

maybe someone should tell them that they don't have to starve if  they run out of venison.

 

so the village guy was asked how he makes a living.    "fishing.   that's my boat over there."

 

radical concepts!    fish for food.    fish for income.    

[Beden]

Whaddya mean? Billy was a commercial fisherman for 30 years and the kids were raised on boats, goldangit. I mean, before they sank under their feet which is yet another time they all could have died! I just thank the good lord...

[Tukahar]

Wait...fish are free? And right outside their back door? Well hell, somebody tell Papa Pilgrim...and cancel half that shipment of Doritos.

[Ridgerunner]

Nope Clod: they used fishing poles the day Billy told Bear "don't beat up my beautiful fish." They were fishing from a dock (season one, I believe)...of course they waited til the brink of starvation, and a day so cold that the holes they chopped out with axes kept freezing over, before attempting to go out after enough fish to feed Cox's Army. (That's how dad referred to feeding us growing up). 6 of us... 9 of them, I figure it's fitting.

Yes indeed Beden..."the shameful, quarantine worthy, don't know how to get in out of the rain, lower 48ers. Why you'd think we were from an entirely different planet, let alone, state. I wonder constantly, how oh how "good lord," have I managed to roam this earth for 42 years, raise 2 sons, & a step-daughter without living in -0° weather, punching a fish to death, build a fire while piss-pouring rains fall, and sitting around a campfire in weather that snickers at me while giving me walking pneumonia? How indeed? Darn us for calling our "ice cold streams" ...bathtubs, our campfires...furnaces, deer in the backyard..pretty to look at, and bears..something we see at the zoo.

This is Ridge signing out for the moment. ..dang screwy WIFI! (better known to the "upper 1ers"...(is that what we call Alaskans?) as "the devil," "being spoiled," or "the 48ers grapevine!"

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Nope Clod: they used fishing poles the day Billy told Bear "don't beat up my beautiful fish." They were fishing from a dock (season one, I believe)...of course they waited til the brink of starvation, and a day so cold that the holes they chopped out with axes kept freezing over, before attempting to go out after enough fish to feed Cox's Army. (That's how dad referred to feeding us growing up). 6 of us... 9 of them, I figure it's fitting.

Yes indeed Beden..."the shameful, quarantine worthy, don't know how to get in out of the rain, lower 48ers. Why you'd think we were from an entirely different planet, let alone, state. I wonder constantly, how oh how "good lord," have I managed to roam this earth for 42 years, raise 2 sons, & a step-daughter without living in -0° weather, punching a fish to death, build a fire while piss-pouring rains fall, and sitting around a campfire in weather that snickers at me while giving me walking pneumonia? How indeed? Darn us for calling our "ice cold streams" ...bathtubs, our campfires...furnaces, deer in the backyard..pretty to look at, and bears..something we see at the zoo.

This is Ridge signing out for the moment. ..dang screwy WIFI! (better known to the "upper 1ers"...(is that what we call Alaskans?) as "the devil," "being spoiled," or "the 48ers grapevine!"

Is that similar to the Gypsy grapevine? God, I would love a collaborative show marrying off these Neanderthals to the Gypsy Sisters! What fun!

[clod]

...... build a fire while piss-pouring rains fall, and sitting around a campfire in weather......

 

thanks for reminding me of the "Christmas in July"   episode.   sitting on logs in the rain,  making "isn't this great?" comments.    they could have left Ketchikan anytime and walked into the woods for that sort of living.   anytime they wanted.    guess it was "time" when the cameras showed up, and they were told there will be some more episodes.     ;)

 

I still want to know who started that fire for them.     :)

 

I figure that nine months of living in that cramped apartment and working infrequent, random cash jobs showed how they would be living if there was no tv money.

Edited July 26, 2015 by clod

[Ridgerunner]

Is that similar to the Gypsy grapevine? God, I would love a collaborative show marrying off these Neanderthals to the Gypsy Sisters! What fun!

That is worth tossing into the laps of the producers of each of these "informative" programs! Bahahahahaha I know the gypsy sisters don't but, in my sick mind I just imagined, every Brown by the name, out on the shoreline, eyeballing the sisters, rowing inland by skiff, cussing of course. Whilest Ami shoves her hands across Rainy's ears. They see big flamboyant boxes bearing gifts of bandanas, large hoop earrings, a crystal ball for Ami, a switch blade for Bird! Omg the ideas and thoughts rush to me a plenty!!! We could make millions!!!! Bahahahahaha!!!! The sisters out there cussing up an, "I'm gonna kill you whore," fight as Rainy and Bird snatch up their little dolls before being trampled into oblivion! GOOD LORD what a spin off!!!! And when the final straw drops......."everyone dies".....we see the Integrity smoking, in the background and sizzling, spurts, and gargle sounds. Those skinny, stringy headed gyps bodies littering the "beach!" A chicken cackling (out in the distance) from the terror of the flashbacks when the bears pillaged the camp. I bet they had a couple hens standing in the coop, peeking out of the cracks, as the bears rip and tear the camp to bits. Poor chickens shaking, begging and praying, "Good Lord, not today! Just keep quiet maybe the boy who's constantly roosting in the trees, has left a pair of socks, or drawers out there. And that'll throw our scents right out the window!!!"

Thank you Clod! My thoughts exactly!

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

That is worth tossing into the laps of the producers of each of these "informative" programs! Bahahahahaha I know the gypsy sisters don't but, in my sick mind I just imagined, every Brown by the name, out on the shoreline, eyeballing the sisters, rowing inland by skiff, cussing of course. Whilest Ami shoves her hands across Rainy's ears. They see big flamboyant boxes bearing gifts of bandanas, large hoop earrings, a crystal ball for Ami, a switch blade for Bird! Omg the ideas and thoughts rush to me a plenty!!! We could make millions!!!! Bahahahahaha!!!! The sisters out there cussing up an, "I'm gonna kill you whore," fight as Rainy and Bird snatch up their little dolls before being trampled into oblivion! GOOD LORD what a spin off!!!! And when the final straw drops......."everyone dies".....we see the Integrity smoking, in the background and sizzling, spurts, and gargle sounds. Those skinny, stringy headed gyps bodies littering the "beach!" A chicken cackling (out in the distance) from the terror of the flashbacks when the bears pillaged the camp. I bet they had a couple hens standing in the coop, peeking out of the cracks, as the bears rip and tear the camp to bits. Poor chickens shaking, begging and praying, "Good Lord, not today! Just keep quiet maybe the boy who's constantly roosting in the trees, has left a pair of socks, or drawers out there. And that'll throw our scents right out the window!!!"

Thank you Clod! My thoughts exactly!

The gypsy "traditions" are as fraudulent as this show,, so let me grab $500 and my captain's hat- we'll bail some low-rent lot lizards outta the pokey, swing by the Goodwill for the best '80s prom dresses we can find and a pair of safety scissors and a half-used vat of glitter and drop the hussies off on Browntown Beach courtesy of the HMS (Hawk's Majestic Ship) Fur Trader and leave the producers my wire transfer information. Then it'll be Doritos on me, friends.

[Beden]

 

Wait...fish are free? And right outside their back door? Well hell, somebody tell Papa Pilgrim...and cancel half that shipment of Doritos.

Ah hell, Hawk--I was thinking that maybe we could barter a case or so of Doritos for some of that fine free fish, battered though it may be. Barter, that's the way the good lord meant the bush to be so that no one would ever die, don'tcha know?

 

Crikey, fires in the rain; I think I feel a song cue coming on..."And it seems to me that they lived their lives like fires in the rain..." C'mon, sing along with me and Elton!

 

 

radical concepts!    fish for food.    fish for income.

Even a more radical concept--work for a living....

[Ridgerunner]

Bahahahahaha indeed Beden indeed! And Hawk don't forget, the lights under the prom dresses.....lots and lots of twinkly lights, embedded into the mesh and fabric. Cause that's how gypsys roll!!!!

All of us, sitting around a campfire, singing KUMBAYA MY LORD! With our little Dorito stained fingers and teeth. While the twinkly gypsys, beat the Browns from Browntown down to the ground! Step aside Dr. Suess, I'm throwing down som fresh beats! Froggy went a' courtin and he did ride crambo..Froggy went to ride, in Browntown with a gun on his side, Crambo!!! WHEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!! Yes.....Slasherboy that just happened!!! I may be suffering a small sugar rush, cause I just ate some peanut M&Ms......yeehawwwwwww Froggy hmmmm mmmm mmm mmmm crambo

[Beden]

Damn Ridgey--have you tried the pretzel M&M's? How about the mint or crackle ones? Mimi M's baked in cookies? Ambrosia of the good lord!

 

I admit it--you are my soul mate and I'm going to start writing you poems which will make my poet sister in law green with envy. You'll die, I swear!

 

So, okay the last ep showed the ruin of Browntown, the pesky bears making it clear that they're tired of filming crews, helicopters waking them up and being barked at by Mr Cupcake, though he seems to be a pleasant enough pup--many rescues are, including my own purebred American canine (as a friend has dubbed my pup). But will the main house ever get an actual roof? Will the door they found, the good lord knows where (okay, it was built/installed by the paid construction crew) hold against the onslaught of winter? Will Noah be snug as a bug in a rug in his trappers shack writing odes lamenting the lose of his soulmate? Will the production company post bail/pay the fines for those annoying indictments? What, oh what will happen should Brother Billy end up sentenced to do hard time and he can't breathe that free air of the bush? Will Browntown be confiscated by the good state of Alaska to pay the various outstanding warrants and likely judgements? (yes, I know it's leased by the production company or someone/thing but work with me here). How will the boys survive without Billy suggesting what needs to be done and by whom and when? Will Ami ever get dentures or will she be forever eating all of her meals through a straw? Will Bear finally fall out of one of those damn trees?

 

WHEN DOES THE NEXT SEASON START OR WILL WE DIE WAITING???????

Edited July 27, 2015 by Beden

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Damn Ridgey--have you tried the pretzel M&M's? How about the mint or crackle ones? Mimi M's baked in cookies? Ambrosia of the good lord!

I admit it--you are my soul mate and I'm going to start writing you poems which will make my poet sister in law green with envy. You'll die, I swear!

So, okay the last ep showed the ruin of Browntown, the pesky bears making it clear that they're tired of filming crews, helicopters waking them up and being barked at by Mr Cupcake, though he seems to be a pleasant enough pup--many rescues are, including my own purebred American canine (as a friend has dubbed my pup). But will the main house ever get an actual roof? Will the door they found, the good lord knows where (okay, it was built/installed by the paid construction crew) hold against the onslaught of winter? Will Noah be snug as a bug in a rug in his trappers shack writing odes lamenting the lose of his soulmate? Will the production company post bail/pay the fines for those annoying indictments? What, oh what will happen should Brother Billy end up sentenced to do hard time and he can't breathe that free air of the bush? Will Browntown be confiscated by the good state of Alaska to pay the various outstanding warrants and likely judgements? (yes, I know it's leased by the production company or someone/thing but work with me here). How will the boys survive without Billy suggesting what needs to be done and by whom and when? Will Ami ever get dentures or will she be forever eating all of her meals through a straw? Will Bear finally fall out of one of those damn trees?

WHEN DOES THE NEXT SEASON START OR WILL WE DIE WAITING???????

We could all die waiting, it's true.

I'm not as well-informed on the backstory of this scumgaggle... But seriously, are Billy and Ami brother and sister? First cousins? Only Matt and Rain seem to have the correct amount of chromosomes, and that's being generous. I mean, I get they're all illiterate and unclean (how can Ami legitimately "home school" when she dropped out at 15?)- but that can only account for so many shortcomings.

My great-grandparents were illiterate when they came here from Italy, and yet... Yeah. Nothing like this.

[Ridgerunner]

My great-grandparents were illiterate when they came here from Italy, and yet... Yeah. Nothing like this.

And I guarantee your grandparents illiteracy had absolutely nothing to do with their graciousness, work ethics (which they passed down to their children and grandchildren), and respect for a country & government, (that in general), works. And in the Brown's case.....handout, after handout, after (lying on government apps) handouts, have worked out quite well! They've made a living and raised seven children on a handout life, when, no doubt in my mind, your grandparents busted their ass, and, did without, to provide for their children. See, when it comes to doing without for these selfish morons, they toss the kids up, as a "please we have 7 kids here," guilt trip excuse! Aka: The Laura Lee, the guy who's giving them a go at his shipping business, and anyone else who's bought into their "freedom of the bush bullcrap!" If you'll notice...everyone ELSE whom they encounter is working!!!!!! Making a living and WORKING! And apparently know what birth control is, because I've yet to see (and I've watched several Alaska based shows) anyone with a brood this size, expecting to just live off the land (mind you, with no experience/ knowledge as to how that's done), and barter their way through life. Why hasn't that jackass, Ami planted a garden, or shown those two jackass daughters how to. I mean sewing up bullet holes with dental floss and making coat hangers out of sticks.....are quite important in life lessons....but some where down the road I'm guessing carrots, leafy green plants, or a potato (which keeps forever and can be quite filling and added to ANYTHING), might be an important thing to know how to do out there where, "you can have anything you want. You can eat anything you want. AND YOU GET TO DO, ANYTHING YOU WANT." Cause that seems to be the Brown motto. Except of course for Ami! Whose motto is a single word..."grandbabies!" Real words to live by. I could totally see her in a lean-to after birthing a "grandbababy," and looking at the aching, worn out mother, patting her hand, and saying, "one down 3 to go, because I'm expecting 4 from each of my sons & daughters, it's documented and recorded. So heal and rest up, because we've go to get this reproduction train back on track, and rolling at full speed! This time next month should be plenty of time for you to heal. It was for me. And it's the bush way."

Damn Ridgey--have you tried the pretzel M&M's? How about the mint or crackle ones? Mimi M's baked in cookies? Ambrosia of the good lord!

 
I admit it--you are my soul mate and I'm going to start writing you poems which will make my poet sister in law green with envy. You'll die, I swear!
 
After the posting of this snark....I am on my way to buy one of each of these flavors! And cookies for Wednesday when my grandson comes up! So as for later posts this evening, keep in mind I'm under a sweet intoxication!!! "Hyper" is a serious problem I have! But, I swear kids think I'm like a super hero!!! Oh Beden.... I'm so glad you've come around to my way of thinking. I knew we were meant to be..the moment I read your 1st snark! Your level of intellect matched my own. And though I'm usually very private with matters of the heart, with you...I don't care who knows....do you read me, forum brothers & sisters? Taunt if you will, with your tree, kissing, love, and other childish rants....but as long as I live, Beden, chivalry will live, and my heart is coming out of the jar and into your hand! Do you hear that sister-in-law, of Beden? I hope the green monster doesn't bite to deep! P.S. I hope you have no future plans for higher learning levels, Beden. For matters of the heart are not meant to be trampled and pooped on like the family crab pot!
And fear not, I bet with the corrupt brain the majority of the Brown's have, I'd say it safe to figure, they had every bit of this planned, and agreed to do future seasons and airings, only IF the producers attorneys could get them out of this little pothole of demise, that they're stuck in, on their road to "freedom, and down with the man." So they'll be back... More and more seasons to come. And Discovery will be there for us...at the foot of the lean-tos, in the outhouse, under the bears' dens, and in "Noah's Shed of Poetry!" YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! Edited July 28, 2015 by HalcyonDays
Fixed quote tags

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

I like the coconut M&Ms best but they are uber hard to find. $30 a bag on Amazon? I think not!

If I were only as conniving and beguiling as the Browns of Browntown I could have a barge load of coconutty melt in my mouth goodness... Hauled out to be aboard the Integrity... I hope for calm waters though, I'd hate for my delicious snack to slide right off the roof.

[Ridgerunner]

Coconut M&Ms and Doritos sound divine! Throw in some "fat melting in your mouth from the 'back-strap,'" add a guitar, a campfire, a drizzle of rain, and a few classic songs, (Froggy, KUMBAYA, hokey pokey) and it sounds like a good time. Let's not forget about some scary stories involving being ripped to shreds by bears and we're set! Might I add pretzel M&Ms and the mints!!!!! Omg!!!! Beden, may the good Lord bless you and all your future generations! The information on the different flavors has all but solidified how much you must really care for me!!!

I think I'll go search for any dates on the premier of the next season...life is so good, I could just....DIE!

p.s. Having never ate ANY fresh killed animal, you'll all have to forgive me when I don't reach down into the frying pan, with my grubby hands and start instantly chowing down. I must learn the ways of the Wolfpack slowly. Much like Jim Carrey's portrayal of the Grinch. "To much, to soon," doesn't work well with me. You'd think being from Tn. I'd have tried something.....deer, rabbit, quail, or anything, really. But, tacos is about as wild as we got! I mean daddy took a hog off once and brought it back in quart jars and butcher paper. Needless to say, I didn't eat pork for months. Yes, I know now, raising your own foods is the best way to go, however, watching her raise nine piglets, made a soft spot in my heart for her and them. I didn't speak to dad for over a week. So yeah, the back-strap (or any piece, of meat, that tells me where abouts it was located) is, going to take me a minute! Lol!!!!

[Beden]

Ah Ridgey, southern doesn't always mean, well...southern (if you catch my drift). Of course my pup is a rescue from Georgia and that hound likes nothing more than a bit of squirrel tartar when he can catch one on the hoof in the backyard.

 

Mint M&M's.........yuuuum.

 

So, okay we know that Matt has had at least one GF (what--no grandbabies?????!?) and Bard Noah farted and fell, as my ole' daddy would say. But what about the rage repressed Bam and then extreme Bear? And Gabe...just no. No to that.?  Are we to assume that the boys are actually uninitiated to the ways of love? Right, Maybe Matt, being the oldest, graying at 32 has some..ahem...experience but the rest? The girls I discount entirely  as Rain is still darn young and Bird is till playing with dolls; not generally considered a turn on for most young men I know.

 

They lived in the bush all their lives (work with me here, okay?) they have to know how grandbabies happen and, even if they don't, they're old enough to have hormones.

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Eunuchs perhaps? Billy gelded them much like the steeds he rustled in El Paso those many moons ago. Geldings are much more docile creatures, ya know. And Miss Rain is but measly months younger than Ami when she ran off Ol' Crazy Eyes McGhee...

[Beden]

Dang it Hawk--I think that you may be on to something here. It would explain why the boys are still, in their 20's and 30's--still boys in just about every sense of the word. Either gelding or the $ the production company hands over for every episode plus the probable per diem they all get, the meals, the lodging, the rental cars...

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

I would not trust any of these Neanderthals to operate a motor vehicle.

[Beden]

Well, we saw the expertise when Gabe tried to use a chainsaw a while ago. As memory serves he screwed it up so badly it took Billy to unbind the thing--and since they'd only brought one chain saw with them to build their cabin and clear the land (!), it was a problem. And let us not forget the calm professionalism of their efforts to fix and maintain their myriad boats...

 

Besides, what need do they have for motor vehicles (other than above mentioned boats) since Matt can simply climb inside some old tires and roll thither and yon and Bear can just climb trees and swing from vines?

 

95 and humid here. I know it's OT but, damn, it's unpleasant. My hair will frizz and my M&M's will melt.

[NEGirl]

Ridgerunner - No need to teach the girls to plant a garden. All they have to do is go to the local grocery store when they get back to town after filming.

 

Hot as hell here too. It was 96 yesterday and 98 the day before. Hate it.

Edited July 31, 2015 by NEGirl

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

90s for weeks here now... Like an oven outside. Let's take a field trip to Browntown to sit on a log in the freezing rain.

[Beden]

Now you're talking, Hawk--I'll being the graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate (Hershey's, of course). Oh, and the pinot grigio...enough for everyone.

[Ridgerunner]

104* girls come on up or down to Tn....we'll fry together Well, guys and gals, I've been in a sugar coma! Not really.....but my my GOOD LORD these M&Ms + re-runs of Alaskan Bush People, may very well equal, a much larger Ridgerunner!!!! Much much larger!!! But, I can't stop myself!! Darn you Beden!!! Nevermind, I can't stay mad at you:)

Still no set date on when the next season starts, I been checking. I'm just waiting for "Am's" (as Billy calls her) mom & brother show up to Browntown.....and need a place to stay for a bit! Lol ol Billy will love that move!!!

And, why my brain keeps going to ways these friggers are going to benefit off of the government in years to come is beyond me. Maybe, because they want to live all liberated and free but, they'll cheat a swindle to get what the working man has paid in. I realize, mine is mearly, a drop in a huge world sized barrel, of trillions of dollars paid into social security and I'm in no way trying to turn this into a political, anything! And I know this tv show is making them a pretty penny, but, please!!! These retarded, bums will have the money from all this pissed away in nothing flat. I'm just being an ass, I suppose. I just can't stand people who act like they're raging against the grain so much....yet literally are more dependant on "the man," "the machine" than anyone else....anywhere! If you haven't...you have GOT to watch Bam's YouTube videos!!!! I swear it's like a bad music video from the late 60s early 70s opened up and spat him out.

Ahhhh yes my friends I'm missing my crunchy, candy coated, deliciousness...I'll return shortly

[clod]

 I'm just waiting for "Am's" (as Billy calls her) mom & brother show up to Browntown.....and need a place to stay for a bit! Lol ol Billy will love that move!!!

 

odds are, no one will know, and there will be plenty of room.   because no one lives there!

 

hmmm.   we haven't seen much of the inside of the house since it was finished and occupied.    I want to see the furniture, carpet, and the modern electrical conveniences and appliances.    btw, how would they pay for all that stuff?

 

 

since we are still watching after the magic house construction episode, I guess they win.    haha.    they have a money-making tv series.

[Ridgerunner]

odds are, no one will know, and there will be plenty of room.   because no one lives there!

 

hmmm.   we haven't seen much of the inside of the house since it was finished and occupied.    I want to see the furniture, carpet, and the modern electrical conveniences and appliances.    btw, how would they pay for all that stuff?

 

I would love to watch it! Ol' Billy have to put on a fake front of, how sorry he is, that they felt like he was keeping her from them. When in fact, she (though looks meek and wirey), is in fact, the beef and potatoes of the couple. She RULES the family with iron fists and likes to draw that pistol. (Which in my opinion looks as comfy and natural as, a Cuban cigar in a newborn baby's mouth)! I'm sorry and not trying to be sexist, but, there's something that look better for men to do and some that look better for women. But, if you're gonna be a Calamity Jane....try to look the part and be a little more "street cred talker" than, "no one tells me what to do. I do what I want cause I want to do it, oooooooh I'm so mad. I've gotta go lay down."

 

[Ridgerunner]

I'm wondering if there will be a follow up book after Am's cookbook on "how to clean in the bush!" I'm just curious. I had two boys to clean up after but, 5 and two daughters? Mmmmmmm, plus after Am's announcement in the one epi that she was going to do Bam's turn at the dishes, tells me that her & her daughters may very well be 3 of the biggest sorry asses, I've ever witnessed. Again, not trying to be sexiest, just observant. Lol! Maybe, they think they're to pretty to do regular housework. I bet that's it! That'a way to make light work of those useless girls. No gardening skills, no cleaning skills, besides seeing Rainy stir a brick o' Spam around a pan over the campfire when Billy went to the Dr...I've never seen any cooking skills. Great with guns, and making "demonstrations of schoolwork with sticks and rocks".....but have yet to see them with a broom, mop, or any cleaning devise in their un-dishpan hands. Ahhhhhhhh the future of Browntown is looking brighter every day!!!!!

[Beden]

 

 

hmmm.   we haven't seen much of the inside of the house since it was finished and occupied.    I want to see the furniture, carpet, and the modern electrical conveniences and appliances.    btw, how would they pay for all that stuff?

 

since we are still watching after the magic house construction episode, I guess they win.    haha.    they have a money-making tv series.

Y'see Clod, m'friend, that's the thing which also burns my ass--they're clearly (bad) actors playing roles written either for them for production or are simply living the lives they've carved out for themselves--or both--for the cameras, PR, $ and attention which they, undoubtedly, will finagle into future $ and attention. The only fly I see in the scam is the upcoming court cases they're going to be fighting--on camera, of course. These people are grifters of the highest order who've managed to get the production company to buy what they're selling and palm it off onto the public. It will continue as long as it's profitable or is shut down by the courts of Alaska.

 

Where will the furniture, appliances and the rest come from? Heavens--we saw that the boys scored kitchen cabinets from that empty house/apartment or whatever it was they were supposedly cleaning out. The furniture? They make that themselves with the chainsaw. Coat hooks? Ams and the girls fix them right up from discarded twigs.

 

Mind you, I spent 30+ years making my living in theater and I know BS when I see it. Entertaining as this mess may be (though not nearly as entertaining as this site, thank you all very much), it's a scam. It's a cheat and people are buying it--okay, some people are, anyway. I also find the massive holes in logic and common sense to now be at the point of insulting; the seriously inappropriate clothing, the endless incredibly stupid mistakes  like the skiff drifting away more than once, the always a dollar short and a day too late with housing, supposed former fishermen losing the damn crab pot, the rotten boats they don't know how to use, not enough food because of poor or no planning. Of course these are all plot points from the writers but this is just moronic.

 

Okay, rant over. down to 88 today--relief and I snagged 2 Christmas presents for friends and a pair of comfy shoes at the local sidewalk sales. My newest craftshow product (mittens lined in fleece made from recycled sweaters--not an original idea, I'll grant, but those puppies are selling better than I'd hoped in the middle of summer...cold weather may be good to my bank account. I think I figured out how to hem a dress for a customer (yes, I'm a sewing fool)--not a difficult thing, you say? You should see this frigging fabric; nightmare but with my sewing machine's double needle inserted and set on slow it may work--yay but stay tuned. If not I may die and my dreams will be over...Life is good!

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

But could you sew up a deer hide with dental floss for...? Yeah, didn't think so. Get back on the log and flip the spam, lil lady.

[Ridgerunner]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! He touched the poop then popped his entire poopy finger into his mouth, and out, to test the direction of the wind!!!!!!! He said he'd wash them before he ate, he said nothing about washing them before checking the direction of the wind!!!! Hehehehehehe just saying!

See Beden.....it is fate! I too, am pretty snazzy on a sewing machine. Awesome and handy little thing to know!! Be back after this goes off!!!! Whew whew bike elevator

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

And one of these mental midgets cranked the boat over with a stern line our dee dee dee dum... I'm as surprised as you are that it's a tangled mess.

Lick my finger, ladies.

[clod]

..... I snagged 2 Christmas presents for friends and a pair of comfy shoes at the local sidewalk sales. My newest craftshow product (mittens lined in fleece made from recycled sweaters--not an original idea, I'll grant, but those puppies are selling better than I'd hoped in the middle of summer...cold weather may be good to my bank account

 

was that a subtle reference to Christmas in July ?    ;)       ...... referring  to the APB   Christmas in July special show.   

 

The Browntonians will love those comfy shoes and handmade mittens!       If we coordinate shipping dates,  your mittens and my  parka donations will get there at the same time.   Just in time to save them from the cold weather.    (danger!)

 

nine pairs of mittens should be enough.   maybe put some spares in there for the  new girlfriends/fiances.

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

One more thing before I hit the hay...

Lollipop-alop

[Ridgerunner]

A new poem for the family dinners around the fire:

Welcome to our world, meet 9 bums.

No talent to speak of, not even a green thumb.

Dress as casual as you want, you'll hear no fuss.

But, wear more than a tank top, and be considered a puss!

"Brown luck" is what we've named it, drab, is our plan.

Lazy you may call it, but, we say, "down with the man!"

Yes friends all I can say is pure raw talent!!!! Lol

[Ridgerunner]

Oh yeah......Beden I want to buy some mittens:) really

[nightmeri]

I want to change my answers to f$&k, marry, kill. Kill Noah, kill Noah, kill kill kill Noah. Then revive him and kill him again

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Brown Luck? A comfy crap that doesn't blow open a hemorrhoid?

I just can't with Bear. He is a weee little man child... And Billy looks like a Lord of the Rings extra who didn't get a callback. Browntown, the new Middle Earth eeer something.

[Ridgerunner]

Hawk..........YOU SHALLLLLL NOT PASSSSS!!!!

Couldn't stop myself! Now, visualize with me.......Gabe....entire head shaved! EXCEPT THE SIDEBURNS!!!! Crouched down, naked as ur hand, pastey, pale skin, illuminating from a small cave. Little stream trickling through, and he pets something, there in the dark. He cuddles and pets it, HISSING: "MY PRRRRRRRECIOUS" TO IT!

Now..........WHAT IS IT?

Just for fun......c'mon entertain me folks...for the Good Lord's sake...I gave you people poetry, plucked from my soul! Anyway, I think it's a bag o' Doritos........no..screw that....it's these damn mint M&Ms!!!!!!! (Just look at the change they've made in me)!!!!!!!

Speaking of hyper what's the name of a song that goes... "Hi diddle ly deee....something........something.." It's got an Irish beat to it....it's stuck in my brain....going to look on YouTube. Why are there so many......... ......... ... In this snark? Feel like Matt a little........"hey that's shiny!"

[Ridgerunner]

Thought for the moment....there are women/girls/sad little things, out there that think NOAH is the bees knees....ooooooooo that makes my butthole cringe. They should have a slap-a-thon, with people like that. Like those dances where people slap each other. But instead of the traditional music.....re-mixes of his voice, poetry, and stutters. Then.....let the slappin begin.

[crazycatchick]

Where do I even begin! So they have no contact with the outside world but know the term "chick flick?"

-Lollipop-alop...even Matt thought that was weird.

-They act like they are so posh and smart because they can memorize poetry. Please. Plus it was really evident that Rainy Easter Bunny has a speech impediment when she was reciting Hamlet.

-Gabe saying that people in the lower 48 think Alaska is full of Eskimos and penguins? Um, no we don't. But between you guys and Sara Palin...you aren't really giving the normal people in Alaska a good reputation!

-Someone in the film crew needs to take Bam's pleather best and burn it. But I do have to say he looked so much better with short hair in one of the flashbacks.

-That sword fight was ridiculous

-Bear, nothing about you is extreme. Not your tree climbing and certainly not your hair. I think the film crew was trying to be nice when they were talking about him saying how he's really like that when the cameras aren't rolling. Like you know they were choosing their words carefully because they didn't want to be like he's a man child who may or may not be slow.

Oy I'm going to Hell in a handbasket....but all of you will be right along with me! :-)

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Hawk..........YOU SHALLLLLL NOT PASSSSS!!!!

Couldn't stop myself! Now, visualize with me.......Gabe....entire head shaved! EXCEPT THE SIDEBURNS!!!! Crouched down, naked as ur hand, pastey, pale skin, illuminating from a small cave. Little stream trickling through, and he pets something, there in the dark. He cuddles and pets it, HISSING: "MY PRRRRRRRECIOUS" TO IT!

Now..........WHAT IS IT?

Just for fun......c'mon entertain me folks...for the Good Lord's sake...I gave you people poetry, plucked from my soul! Anyway, I think it's a bag o' Doritos........no..screw that....it's these damn mint M&Ms!!!!!!! (Just look at the change they've made in me)!!!!!!!

Speaking of hyper what's the name of a song that goes... "Hi diddle ly deee....something........something.." It's got an Irish beat to it....it's stuck in my brain....going to look on YouTube. Why are there so many......... ......... ... In this snark? Feel like Matt a little........"hey that's shiny!"

A rotten Slim Jim. No doubt.

Either these kids are really all slow or really great actors.

[Beden]

 

"Hi diddle ly deee....something........something.." It's got an Irish beat to it....it's stuck in my brain....going to look on YouTube.

Hi diddley-dee, an actor's life for me,

Hi diddley dum, an actor's life is fun!

 

I believe that it may be from Disney's Pinocchio

 

Apologies for my absence (not that I expect that anyone noticed amidst the flurry of fabulous snark)...my internet took a bear crap and just returned after 3 days. I happen to live in a town which only has one provider and their wires predate the Revolution. Every time it rains, snows, we have an ice storm or a squirrel farts we lose service. Yes, annoying.

 

Browntownians? I love it!

 

Ridgey, of course you may get some of my mittens, but only if you promise not to send them to our neighbors in the far north via Hoonah. You also sew? Damn, woman, I knew I liked you like a soul mate! I'm the little lady in town who takes in sewing --don't laugh, you'd be surprised how many people think that putting in a zipper ='s rocket science. 'Keeps me in Dorito's and M&M's. BTW, have you tried the M&M ice cream sandwiches you cab find in the ice freezer of your local store? Damn tasty, those.

 

Okay, but seriously, the thing about the lost footage which cheesed me off was the POV the producers took which was that this was all real. Uh-huh...those poor Browntownians, shivering in their tents and hunters shack, those poor, really poor people who just can't catch a break--having to tote that dead deer 2 miles back to camp. No mention that it was likely shot by some paid for local or that the Browns are actually living in a perfectly nice lodge/hotel, just BS about how the production crew had to take the boat to the site every day and it was really, really scary and they could have died! It's the piling on the lies which annoys me--I suspect that I could do better in the bush than these idiots. I know enough not to make camp in a bear's territory, that you don't leave all your stuff out and unprotected when you go away, or leave your only tools out to be snowed on, that you don't start building a homestead when it's already snowing and forget to put in a food store and find yourself some real clothing for survival in the arctic.

 

The rope got tangled in the damn prop? Damn, I've been using motor boats my whole life and, someow, never managed that. I guess I'll have to try harder.

 

On the other hand, they're bright enough to score this show and their paychecks may start to pay their legal costs (pro bono lawyers maybe?) and the fines they'll be looking at.

 

 

Plus it was really evident that Rainy Easter Bunny has a speech impediment when she was reciting Hamlet.

Home schooled is fine but it was also apparent that the child had no clue about what she was reciting, just words, no feeling, no understanding. And that was no speech impediment, that was just the family accent, y'know.

[Ridgerunner]

Bahahahahaha omg!!!!! Yes Beden I noticed you were gone and was having freakin' withdrawls:) BAMMMM!!!! Thank you........it is Pinocchio!!!! Hey, I LOOOOVE SEWING! I hemmed 12 pair of pj pants and two pairs of jeans and made a sweet "frog eye" also known as a $100.00 bill.

SHOUT OUT TO POST!!!

I swear, no mittens to the north, Beden my sweet soul mate!!! You just let me know how much cash I need to send and consider it...money in the bank. I'm with you you on the fact that after listening to "NOAH the Great" recite poetry every night for a bazillion campfire dinners, one could memorize a couple lines here and there. I memorized the, "I'm a Nut" song from hearing it twice in 6th grade! It went:

I'm a little acorn brown, lying on the cocoa ground.

Everybody steps on me, that is why I'm cracked you see.

I'm a nut. I'm a nut. I'm a dog-gone nut.

Called myself on the telephone, just to see if I was home.

Asked myself out for a date, said I'd pick me up at half past 8.

I'm a nut. I'm a nut. I'm a dog-gone nut.

Took myself to the picture show. Set myself on the very front row.

Wrapped my arms around my waist, got so fresh I slapped my face.

I'm a nut. I'm a nut. I'm a dog-gone nut!

Now does that make me an expert at poetry or song? I'll say pretty darn close!!!!! Hahahahaha I swear I get so cranked up this time of night!!! The M&Ms ice cream is as good as bought tonight! My diabetes is bubbling as we speak! I shall return momentarily

P.S. Hawk......rotted Slim Jim sounds to be totally believable!!!! His whispers sound more like a Macho Man Randy Savage and Sean Connery hissssss....really quiet "ooooooh yyyyeah.....snap into it!"

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Slip into something more comfortable... Like a diabetic coma! Happens to me all the time but hot damn I love sweets!!!

[Ridgerunner]

Sing it hawk sing it!!!