Small Talk: The Library

[Earl Is Dead]

I saw her tweeting about it about a month ago, but I didn't get it then either.  A Funny Or Die video maybe?

[Chyna]

It's a vlogger who does these funny character rap-battle videos.

[Chyna]

As I've mentioned in our conversation's about KPC's itchiness problem, Tiny Chyna also tends to get very dry skin. It's usually just her hands, but sometimes it's on other parts of her body and she needs help reaching them with the Cetaphil cream. The other day, she watched the first Lady Cassandra episode of Doctor Who. Last night, she ran up to me with her Cetaphil yelling, "MOISTURIZE MEEEE!"

[Erratic]

Love it!

[Hostile16]

Lord, I watched SMG' s movie debacle yesterday, Veronika Decides to Die. It was released back in 2009, but just limped out on DVD this week. I haven't read the "international bestseller" on which it was based, but I hope it is better.

Poor SMG, I don't know why she can't land a decent role.

[trudi-tru]

I've always been curious about that movie since I loved the book.

I agree that SMG deserves better than what she's getting. Ringer was terribile, but The Crazy Ones got pretty good, too bad it was cancelled.

And who knows if Robin Williams still would have ended up the way he did. I'm not saying that is why he killed himself, but maybe having a gig and a schedule could have changed things. Or maybe not.

[Endeavour]

I liked Ringer. It wasn't great but I thought it was entertaining. I only watched a couple of episodes of The Crazy Ones. I dont think I've seen any of SMG's movies though.

I was hoping we were done with the snow. Maybe this will be it for the year.

Happy Friday!

[Earl Is Dead]

I was hoping we were done with the snow. Maybe this will be it for the year.

 

Word.  Happy first day of Spring!  Harumph.

[Erratic]

This Foster to Adopt process is frustrating, y'all.

Between dealing with overbooked training sessions that we are trying to schedule and complete before we get matched,and our caseworker who doesn't return emails or phone calls, hasn't mailed out licence after a month, and is overdue for her monthly visit, but includes us on cheerful group emails... And work sucks, I am PMSing, and it snowed again, and Kory is out of town...

People, I could do with a virtual de-stressing drink (or non-alcoholic brew) with you all. Cheers!

Edited March 20, 2015 by Erratic

[Harvester]

I raise my glass to you and your awesomeness, Erratic!

[Hostile16]

I mentioned your troubles to my dad, who says he would have gone crazy had email been available back in his adoption' days.

I watched Birdman last night and would welcome an explanation of what the big deal is. Good performances, though. If you need an excellent trivia question, Adrienne Barbeau does the DVD closed captioning for the visually impaired.

[Chyna]

Virtual cheers to you, Erratic. *clinks glass* Here's hoping your caseworker gets her act together.

 

May I brag on one of my kids for a moment? Dig this: One of Tiny C's best friends (L) tends to be kind of exclusionary--you know, "these are my two friends and no one else can play with us," that sort of thing. Lately, her "two" have been Tiny C and Friend S. But those two are also good friends with another girl, M, and M's mom told me a few months ago that L (unbeknownst to Tiny C) was telling M that she couldn't play with Tiny and S. So Tiny and I talked about it, and she talked to S and the two of them supposedly worked things out with L.

 

But then a couple days ago, M's mom told me that the day before, L had again told M that she couldn't play with them, but Tiny was there and heard it, so she told L to do whatever she wanted but she was going to play with M. L stormed off in a huff, but M was so delighted that Tiny had stood up for her. So I was already happy about that. Then when Tiny got home, I asked her about the whole thing, and she was like, "Yeah, but everything's OK now." She explained that the day after that confrontation, she and M and S were playing at recess and L wanted to join them. Tiny told her that if she wanted to play with them, she could, but she had to apologize to M first! "So she said she was sorry, and then we played all four of us." That's my girl!

[Erratic]

Atta girl, Tiny C! :)

[trudi-tru]

I watched Birdman last night and would welcome an explanation of what the big deal is.

I feel that way about most of nominated movies. Every year.

Go Tiny C! What special girls you have, Chyna.

Hang in there, Erratic. All the waiting and the frustration will pay off soon. Is it normal policy not to answer calls and emails? If they don't want you to call or write they should say so instead of ignoring you.

[AnnieF]

Isn't "Birdman" about acting? I think that's your answer right there; actors are the largest voting bloc in the Academy, and they can be a rather narcissistic bunch. (Can be. I know it's not all actors, but I think that the ones that are members of AMPAS maybe had a bit of tunnel vision on this one.)

I'm happy to hear stories of children being delightful (go Tiny C! I wish I'd had a friend like her when I was the victim of that kind of exclusionary behavior in 2nd grade). I need to know that children are a net positive, because right now I am having the WORST time with the F-ster. He's 15 now, he towers over me (approaching 6'2"), he thinks he knows everything, and he's such an asshole. He won't take responsibility for his own education; we've talked until we're blue in the face about needing decent high school grades to get into college, he says all the right things in response, and then nothing about his behavior changes. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

(I'm just ventingand don't really need suggestions. It's likely that whatever gets suggested, we've already tried [doctor? Check. Therapist? Check. Change his diet? Check. Etc etc]). Thanks for letting me put all my "aaaahhhhh this parenting thing is haaaaaaaard!!!! on the page. :))

Wishing hard that things would happen already for you and Kory, Erratic.

[Chyna]

I wish I'd had a friend like her when I was the victim of that kind of exclusionary behavior in 2nd grade

 

 

Ditto.

 

Sorry to hear about the difficulties with the F-ster. From what I hear from my friends with kids that age, I would guess that a big part of the problem is just that he's 15. 15-year-olds are mostly assholes, from what I'm told.

[Hostile16]

Wishing hard that things would happen already for you and Kory, Erratic.

Because the pain of parenting should be available to everyone!

But Birdman didn't win Oscars for its performances, but for Best Picture and Original Screenplay (also Cinematography, which I get). I'd have liked it better if it had been *more* about performances and delved deeper into the Keaton-Norton on-stage/off-stage relationship and less on the mysticism. Eh, whatever. I will say that Naomi Watts had a very good year; I thought she was great in St. Vincent .

Edited March 21, 2015 by Hostile16

[AnnieF]

15-year-olds are mostly assholes, from what I'm told.

Truth. We've exhausted all the other options, and it really does seem like his issue is...he's 15. So, we've just got to wait for maturing to happen. Whee.

Wishing hard that things would happen already for you and Kory, Erratic.

Because the pain of parenting should be available to everyone!

Yup! Can't you wait until you have teenagers, Erratic? They are soooooo fun. Super duper awesomeness, all the time. SO FUN!!! :P

Edited March 21, 2015 by AnnieF

[Darkpool]

Because the pain of parenting should be available to everyone!

 

Sure, it's rough, but think about how sad the alternative is.

[AnnieF]

Ha! That is hilarious. And "dipso," man, there's a pejorative that doesn't get much use anymore.

[Erratic]

Is it normal policy not to answer calls and emails? If they don't want you to call or write they should say so instead of ignoring you.

No. That's the thing. Her entire job is to provide support to the families that are in the FTA process. She has 7-13 couples in her case load, so even if she only deals with one family every 2 days, I should've heard from her by now. We are told throughout the process that once you get your caseworker, make her your best friend because nobody else will have your back.

Hence my frustration.

[KittenPokerCheater]

Erratic, why doesn't your caseworker understand that you and K are awesome, and are going to make the cover of Time as "Parents Of The Year" once you have your child(ren).  Since I can't karmically kick her in the butt, I'm going to send her "get on the ball" vibes.

 

Children are hard.  A friend of mine has a 14 year old and says that if she didn't love her so much, she would throttle her.  Teenagers are the worst sometimes, so you have my sympathy to those with teenagers or children.  Parenting is truly a 24/7 job.

 

TinyC is wonderful.  I, too, wish I had had friends in school like that.  Children can be so mean sometimes.

[Erratic]

Thanks to you all, by the way. I do feel better for the vent and the vibes.

Vibes going back atcha all too. I get a little myopic and self centered when I am pissy, but you've all got shit to deal with from kids to parents to work to health. I appreciate the crap out of all of you and wish you all nothing but the best :)

[AnnieF]

Your myopia is completely understandable, Erratic. You'e waiting for a huge, life-changing thing to happen. If I were in your place, I would be a wreck. And it's shitty that your caseworker is ignoring you. That's horrible. :(

[KittenPokerCheater]

^ What AnnieF said.

 

You're kind of in limbo, waiting for the veritable Stork to make a lovely delivery.  It has to be a frustrating wait.  Love and good vibes.

 

On the first day of spring we got 4 inches of snow.  Somewhere, the universe is having a hearty laugh.  It makes me wonder if we'll get a snowstorm around Easter too.

 

And love and patient and happy vibes to all!

[Erratic]

We got four inches here too. Fuckin' winter. I am done with this shit!

(Sunday morning: make that 8 inches)

Edited March 22, 2015 by Erratic

[Endeavour]

Lots of de-stressing vibes heading your way Erratic.

TIny C sounds wonderful, Chyna.

I wasn't the greatest kid at 15 either, AnnieF. Here's hoping the F-ster matures faster than I did.

We got about 7 inches or so of snow. I'll forgive Mother Nature this latest outburst because it made everything look so pretty - the covered trees looked beautiful. But now that she's shown off, she can knock it off.

[Chyna]

AnnieF, if this makes you feel any better: This morning, my tween has decided that, given the choice of "if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all," she will decide not to speak at all. Fun.

[Earl Is Dead]

This is the first year in a long time that I saw all of the best picture nominees before the Oscars, Birdman was my least favorite.  Great performances, and I loved the "single shot" filming technique, but, yeah, it could have been called Inside The Tortured Soul of an Actor and there's nothing that Hollywood loooooooves more than itself.  That's the only explanation I have for its wins.

 

Major kid vibes to you guys:  From adopting to raising non-assholes, none of it seems easy.  My virtual hat is off to you.

[Hostile16]

There's a six-word, half-second reference to Auntie Mame in an episode of "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" that makes me love the show inordinately. I mean, what percentage of the audience is going to get that? Two? Like "30 Rock," it's crammed with allusions, but most are to the late 1990s when Kimmy was kidnapped. Good stuff for those putting off trying it.

[Chyna]

Yeah, Tina Fey's fingerprints are definitely on those scripts.

[buffyjunkie]

OK just wanted to let you all know that I'm reading, and cheering, and commiserating, and vibing but even when I log in on my phone I can't seem to get a reply area.  The phone being the usual means of response as the laptop is monopolized by the teen. 

 

My biggest headache is that I mistyped my Mom's account number on her tax returns filed electronically.  So of course the return is accepted but the payment is rejected.  Meaning I must now drive in to help her write a check because that would be just too much for her to figure out.  She's freaking out.  I'm exhausted.  On the upside, the prom dress (for the teen, not the mom) ordered on-line fits...just.

 

That is all.  Carry on wonderful people.

[Smushergirl]

<walks in>

<waves at everyone>

<walks out>

[KittenPokerCheater]

Come back Smushergirl!   (a la Shane, the movie).

 

So sorry to hear about the irritating teenagers. I know you will dig down to find the patience to deal with them.  Or send them to a convent and/or military school (My parents' threat to me when I was a bratty teen).

 

I read the book Aunt Mame about once a year.  It never fails to make me laugh (the bit where she goes down south and goes on a fox hunt).

 

Earl is Dead, Birdman was a success because Hollywood does like to pat itself on the back (it's ridiculous) but also, the filmmaker had some super long shots and a few cinematographic tricks that every thought was amazing.  Long Takes are getting rarer and rarer, so people swoon over them.

 

Hugs to you, buffyjunkie over the tax craziness.  I HATE it when the IRS gets (even more) stupid. Wishing you and your Mom soothing, stress free vibes.

 

And hugs and awesome vibes to everyone else.  Amazing, you are!!

[Valny]

There's a six-word, half-second reference to Auntie Mame in an episode of "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" that makes me love the show inordinately. I mean, what percentage of the audience is going to get that? Two? Like "30 Rock," it's crammed with allusions, but most are to the late 1990s when Kimmy was kidnapped. Good stuff for those putting off trying it.

What episode was that from Hostile16? I probably won't get the reference but I'd like to try.

 

Hi guys.  Been MIA a bit because of a whole bunch of serious dad drama. Too much info to backtrack,so I will edit a good portion.

 

 About two and half weeks ago, we found out both my dad's carotid arteries were severly blocked.   Right side was 100% blocked and the other 90%   Scared the hell out of us when we found that out. Stomach knotted.  You can't do anything if an artery is 100% but there surgery they can do to get the plaque buildup blockage out from the 90%.  All three of his doctors(cardio,vascular and general practioner docs) agreed surgery was the best bet,because the alternative of leaving it alone would not be a good thing,because eventually that would get fully blocked too. Ticking timebomb and all)

After finding out some info about his vascular surgeon, my sister and I felt a little bit better  after we talked about the procedure with him because he said he does over 120 each year,so it's his specialty. Still, you never know what can happen for any operation, but being 94 year old is just added concern.

Flash forward- So today was his surgery(called endarterectomy) Long day,starting out with being at the hospital at about 5am.  Cut to....My sister and I were waiting in the cafeteria after he went up to surgery and a little later my BFF came to join us for support.  She's such an awesome friend,plus she works in another hospital in Cardiology,so she knows medical stuff.  His doc said he'd call my sister on her cel after it was over. So about 2 1/2 hours nervous hours later, the doc calls my sister saying it all went well...and we'd get a call letting us know when we could see him. I can't tell you what a relief that was to hear. But I will still rest easier when he's home.

He didn't  go to a room after the surgery,he stays in a recovery area,where he is monitored carefully by a nurse who is with him all the time. First time we saw him,very groggy of course from the anesthesia,but opened his eyes to see us and knew who we were. Second time we came back, he was a bit more alert, was hungry and wanted to know when he could eat.:)   Third time we visited today, he was talking so much more, flirting with all his nurses and making jokes to get them  laugh. And he kept telling me and my sister when we'd fuss over him, "get lost!"  :) In a joking manner of course.

So had stressful few weeks,with my stomach in knots,but at least the surgery is over.

Unfortunately while my sister was here,her brother-in-law Dean, who has been sick in the hospital with pneumonia/lung cancer, passed away, so that was added stress. Had to pick my brother-in-law at the airport last Sunday and we went over his brother's house to the wife and family. Very sad.  Today was the funeral and my poor sister felt bad that she couldn't be there for her hubby,but she had my father stuff to deal with.So she was really stressing out.   Dean was only a year older than me.  FU Cancer! I've known him since we were teens when my sister and brother-in-law started dating, and through the years he was always super generous and kind to me.For all of you that have seen any pics I've eve posted of the beautiful house on the water here on Long Island,that was his place he had with his wife and four kids.

And that's my AWOL story in a big nutshell.  Oh but I must tell you that the night before my dad's surgery, he was protesting that no way he was going to wake up so early to be at the hospital at 5am. They could just move the time back that he had to be there as far as he was concerned. Oy! So sneaky person that I can be, I moved the clock in his room forward one hour, to make him think,well you know! That it wasn't as early as it was. And that's how I got us there on time! :) Shush! It worked!

 

Big blanket of good and stress free vibes to all that can use them! I will be under that blanket too.  :)

 

Edited March 25, 2015 by Valny

[cko]

Oooh val, thanks for giving us the update. Best of vibes for your Dad, who sounds amazing, and sympathies on the loss of your sisters BIL, how tragic and sad. Fuck Cancer.

 

Sorry about those teen years, AnnieF. As someone who has briefly met the F-ster and found him to be a very smart and charming pre-teen as he was then, I am convinced he will even out and become an awesome young adult. At some point.

 

The universe should be rushing to put lovely children in your awesome care, Erratic.

 

I just spent four amazing days in Santa Fe celebrating a pal's 60th. The desert is amazing, lifetime friends gathering from all around is energizing, and it really felt good to actually talk about the future for a change instead of just takin' it day by day. Dad is hanging in there. Seems to be getting weaker but still got his personality and spirit. Ah, life.

[trudi-tru]

Hey Smushergirl!

 

On the upside, the prom dress (for the teen, not the mom) ordered on-line fits...just.

Heh. Does that mean she can't eat till after the Prom? :-)

 

I'm sorry about your sister's brother in law, val. Happy that your Dad is doing well.

 

Sounds like you had a great time, cko. Good for you.

[Erratic]

Did I read that right? Your dad is 94, val??? So glad his surgery went well :) sorry about your sister's brother in law. Fuck cancer.

cko, your trip pictures are always so fun and drool worthy. Glad you had a good time.

My caseworker still hasn't returned my email or voice message. I tried calling her office yesterday but she didn't answer and I don't want to leave another message so will keep trying. Ho hum.

[Erratic]

ETA- ha! Tracked her down with my dogged determination. Ha!

[Loandbehold]

val, vibes for your dad's recovery, and over your sister's husband's loss.

 

Glad you finally got through to your caseworker Erratic.

 

General vibes to all others.

[Chyna]

Hi Smushergirl! *waves*

 

Sorry to hear about all your dad's health troubles, valny. Good vibes to him and you.

[Endeavour]

Valny - glad to hear your dad's surgery went well. I hope he has a speedy recovery. Very sorry to hear about the loss of your sister's brother-in-law. What a stressful time for you all. I'll be sending you lots of good vibes and keeping you all in my thoughts.

 

cko - glad you had a such a nice time.

 

I realized the other day that we've been here at PTV for almost a year now. I'm glad I resurfaced after an absence over at TWoP and thankful that I got back in touch with all of you. This really is a great group. Sending good vibes to all that need them!

[Darkpool]

Vibes to Valny and her dad.

[Valny]

Thanks everyone! You're all very sweet. But I knew that already. :)

Dad got released today. Amazing that after a night after his surgery, he is home. His doctor had told us ahead of time, if there were no complications, they usually don't keep patients for more than a day because older people can become disoriented.

He is doing ok,but there has been a lot of stuff that he's telling us that is just well...crazy talk.  But I think it's mainly because they'd given him a painkiller at night after surgery, so that messed his head up, so he's saying some wacky things. We'll just have to wait until it's all out of his system.   Dad and his "girls" leaving today. They took good care of him,which I am grateful for.

Edited March 26, 2015 by Valny

[trudi-tru]

It's been a year already? Wow.

 

val, your Dad looks he just went in for some testing not a 2 hours long surgery. He's a toughie.

[Chyna]

He is doing ok,but there has been a lot of stuff that he's telling us that is just well...crazy talk.  But I think it's mainly because they'd given him a painkiller at night after surgery, so that messed his head up, so he's saying some wacky things.

 

 

My mom said some craaaaazy shit in the few days after her surgery, and that was when she was in her early 60s. Anesthesia + painkillers = wacky trip, man.

[Erratic]

My father saw Chinese terrorists in his ward after his heart surgery, and they were plotting to kill him because he heard them discussing their terrorist plans, and they pissed him off because they wouldn't stop talking all night, plus my father yelled at the doctors and nurses for being part of the Chinese conspiracy because they refused to acknowledge the existance of the noisy terrorists.

Sadly, he remembers every minute of his delusions and refuses to ever have heart surgery again as it upset him so much.

Edited March 26, 2015 by Erratic

[Hostile16]

Was he upset that he had delusions or for what he said during them?

Today's medical procedures are amazing, aren' t they? It wasn't long ago that surgeons wouldn't even consider heart surgery on someone 94 years old, and now they not only perform the surgery, but send him home the next day, too.

Yet my drive-thru order is invariably wrong. Stay in school, kids!

What ["Kimmy"] episode was [the Auntie Mame quote] from? I probably won't get the reference, but I'd like to try.

I binge-watched so I'm not positive, but I think it was "Kimmy Goes to School!" It was the episode in which Xan shows Titus & Lillian the portrait of her Dutch ancestor, including his artificial legs and framed mustache and beard.

Hint: It's used in Trading Places, too.

Edited March 26, 2015 by Hostile16

[Endeavour]

I remember my grandmother having similar issues during a hospital stay. I don't think she recalled any of what she said. It was upsetting at the time even though the doctors told us it would pass which it did.

[buffyjunkie]

 

plus my father yelled at the doctors and nurses for being part of the Chinese conspiracy because they refused to acknowledge the existance of the noisy terrorists.

 

Well, yeah.  Who wouldn't?  For my Dad being low on blood (not just the meds) made him loopy.

 

 

Oy! So sneaky person that I can be, I moved the clock in his room forward one hour, to make him think,well you know! That it wasn't as early as it was. And that's how I got us there on time! :) Shush! It worked!

 

You are a good and clever daughter Valny. I'm glad your Dad came through so well.

 

Not much up here.  Found out my friend with multiple myeloma is getting dialysis three times a week and chemo two times a week.  She is not eligible for a kidney transplant until cancer-free (?) which I'm just not sure is a real option.  Nursing my piriformis (the literal pain in the ass.)  Reading a bunch of books about peak oil and how to adapt and really freaking myself out.  Oh, and I made a pumpkin pie because I was going through my canned goods and things lurking in the back tend to expire before use.  Hopefully I'm not poising my family with expired pumpkin pie filling.  Cheering for some red & white 'ballers who love stenographers.  Gearing up for soccer season 'cuz you know it's not spring unless you are sitting out in 25 degree Farenheit weather to watch it.  That's about it.