S2.E1: Separation Anxiety

[snarts]

12 minutes ago, lasu said:

If she goes back to him and he resumes his abuse of her, nothing I've said changes. The abuse is still 100% the fault of the abuser. 

The abuser is 100% at fault for their abuse but Brittany's a full grown adult, so she is responsible for her own choices.

Unfortunately, she's repeatedly chosen to stay with Jax, marry him, have a baby with him. Heck, she's still talking about getting back with him!  

This isn't a situation where she has no other options. She has her own income, a rental house, friends & family to support her. So no, I don't see her as a victim. I think she enjoys the drama of it. #sad

[princelina]

4 hours ago, lasu said:

There's nothing you can say that would make me think Brittany deserves or "deserves" to be abused, or that women are responsible for keeping themselves safe.

Once again, I'm not saying anyone deserves it.  I just can't waste time feeling bad for her.  Nor do I feel so bad for Raquel and Ally, who deliberately went out to meet and date Known Abusive Alcoholic James just to be on tv 🤷‍♀️

[lasu]

1 hour ago, snarts said:

So no, I don't see her as a victim

So you agree that Jax is abusive of Brittany, but not that Brittany is a victim of abuse? 

2 minutes ago, princelina said:

Once again, I'm not saying anyone deserves it.  I just can't waste time feeling bad for her.  Nor do I feel so bad for Raquel and Ally, who deliberately went out to meet and date Known Abusive Alcoholic James just to be on tv 🤷‍♀️

So, they didnt deserve it, but maybe they deserve it more than women who know better? Or deserve it more than women who don't make poor choices? 

Personally, I don't think a person can do something that makes their abuse ok, or be undeserving of sympathy. I have no problem saying Brittany is an idiot who makes bad decisions, but I don't shrug my shoulders when idiots who make bad decisions are abused.

[princelina]

9 minutes ago, lasu said:

Personally, I don't think a person can do something that makes their abuse ok, or be undeserving of sympathy. I have no problem saying Brittany is an idiot who makes bad decisions, but I don't shrug my shoulders when idiots who make bad decisions are abused.

We will have to agree to disagree - when they keep going back for more, I do.

[heatherchandler]

On 5/9/2025 at 6:51 PM, Chalby said:

These are the comments I find frustrating because anyone who's watched the show longterm, recognizes that Britney was head over heels in love with Jax and moved to California just to be with him.

She was so shy and awkward in the beginning of filming, that I felt bad for her. But at no time did I ever think she was only with Jax for television... She has always been loyal to and supportive of him.

I 100000% think she did seek him out and wanted to be on tv.  She fell in love with him too.  But she went into this knowing he was an asshole.  She thought he was hot.

 

5 hours ago, lasu said:

I've honestly never understood that attitude (though I'm definitely not trying to call you out personally). To me, while I think you've have to be pretty dumb to get with Jax, it doesn't mean I have less sympathy for her. To have less sympathy,  I think you *do* have to believe that being stupid means you deserve the abuse, or at least you are also somewhat culpable for the abuse you receive. The ONLY person responsible for abuse is the abuser. Hard stop. To me, saying Brittany should have known better is no different than saying a woman should have known better than to get drunk while wearing a slutty dress at a frat party. Brittany may not be a perfect victim, but that doesn't change the fact she indeed is a victim. 

Ok I don’t like the drunk half-naked at a party analogy so I use the crosswalk analogy.  I know I’m in the right to cross at the crosswalk, the car MUST STOP.  But I don’t want to get hit by a car, so I protect myself and I don’t just walk.  It doesn’t matter if I’m in the right if I’m dead.

Take responsibility for keeping yourself safe!  Even if the other person is wrong.

[lasu]

I agree one shouldn't just walk out into traffic. But if you do, you are correct, the car must stop, even if you're jaywalking. Stepping out when the car cannot stop wouldn't be a good analogy, because Jax always makes a choice to be an abuser. And to be clear, no matter WHY you got hit by a car, I'd still feel bad you got hit by a car. I wouldn't ask you what you did before I decided if I should have sympathy for you. 

I'm not disagreeing that Brittany made bad decisions. I think she's a moron! I just don't in any way believe that anything Brittany has done, regardless of how stupid and at odds with her own self-interest, mitigates Jax's abuse of her.

[snarts]

1 hour ago, lasu said:

So you agree that Jax is abusive of Brittany, but not that Brittany is a victim of abuse? 

Ten years in, Brittany is a willing participant to the toxicity which negates her victimhood IMHO.

The true victim is Cruz.

[JenE4]

Jax is an asshole and toxic and self-absorbed and a cheater, etc. But is he “an abuser”? What’s your definition of abuser? Emotional abuse? Sure. But it seems to go both ways. Brittany was the one haranguing Jax when he was just trying to pack for rehab and see his son. I definitely don’t want to “victim blame.” Yet, I think sometimes there can be some over correction in terms of always taking the side of the woman instead of acknowledging they’re both toxic together. Now, I do think Britany would be more likely to have a healthy relationship and that Jax probably brings out the worst in her? Sure! Yet, I agree with @princelina that she knew what he was like BEFORE she ever got involved with him. Who has had the unique benefit of seeing his prior toxic relationships (Stassi, Laura Leigh, Carmen, maybe some more before her) on TV? Britany certainly wasn’t the first young woman to fall under the spell of “her love changing a man.” She did seem to relish all of the attention of everyone rallying around her whenever Jax behaved badly instead of, you know, just breaking up with him. Yet, she’s had enough experience to finally decide to cut her losses, which good for her, she’s doing exactly that. 

Edited May 13 by JenE4