[S15.E08: Party Ways]

On 8/28/2022 at 6:30 PM, Sox03 said:

my wife, whose been published in her field for decades, immediately took my name because she was proud of being married to me.

So it's reasonable to infer you weren't proud of being married to her?

[S15.E08: Party Ways]

3 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

I would bet that he doesn't really care all that much about the name change but knows that this is something she feels strongly about. 

From what she said, it doesn't sound like keeping her name is something she feels strongly about.  In fact, she said she wants to have the name Santiago (she even pronounced it with a little bit of a Spanish flair).  But she said she needs some time before doing it, because she's been an Elloway for so long.

I might be engaging in stereotyping, but I think he does feel strongly about it.

17 hours ago, kirklandia said:

My birth name was Smith -  I  did change it when I got married.  I was really happy to have a much more unusual name, but didn't realize at the time how unusual it was.

I've always known that if I ever got married, I wouldn't change my name.  And one day it occurred to me:  "Why am I hanging on to Smith so tenaciously?" 

[S15.E08: Party Ways]

35 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

 I also noticed a marked reduction in his use of  "y'know what I'm sayin" ?  Someone apparently called it to his attention and he was able to control his use of that sentence spacer.  GOOD FOR HIM!!!

I noticed that I haven't seen a single high-five from him since the wedding, when Alexis told him she didn't like high-fiving. 

[S15.E08: Party Ways]

34 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Continued to be uninsured, which is not, in my opinion, a wise idea.

As someone pointed out, California is among the states that assess a penalty if you don't have health insurance.  So her insurance would be even cheaper if you take into account the penalty she wouldn't have to pay.

[TCM: The Greatest Movie Channel]

4 hours ago, Milburn Stone said:

and am particularly interested in where you found the image of the Hopper letter.

I'm glad you asked because I found the site it came from and this time actually read the site instead of just plucking the image from it.

https://artsmeme.com/2019/10/05/written-woman-to-woman-hedda-to-hepburn/

The site claims: "Basically, Hopper, consciously or not, calls out in code language Hepburn’s closeted homosexuality. Perhaps that is why Kate did not want to be her friend." 

That never even occurred to me.  I think I'm a pollyanna.

[S15.E08: Party Ways]

18 hours ago, evansmom10 said:

And this isn't the 1950's-the name thing is so antiquated. 

Something like 70 or 80% of American women change their names when they get married these days.  That kind of surprises me, but it really is easier to navigate pretty much everything if everybody in the family has the same name. 

I would never change my name (and it's Smith!), but I understand why people do, especially if they have kids.  What bugs is that it's almost always the woman who changes her name.  Why?  If it's just smooth navigation, then it doesn't matter which name you use, as long as it's consistent.  Yet it's almost always the woman who makes the change.

My problem with the Lindy situation is that Miguel's insistence was smelling of patriarchy to me.  He's obviously not looking only at smooth navigation, or he could have offered to change his name, and I don't get the feeling it was something the editors chose not to show us.

And Stacia.  If she didn't like her name, she could have changed it to something she does like.  And then changed it again when she got married, if she wanted her family to all have the same name.  But it seems crazy to me, and not empowered at all, to keep a name you don't like for 37 years, and then marry some rando on a reality TV show and immediately take his name. 

In other name news...I have a friend who went to law school with a guy named John Moneymaker.  Or, well, it wasn't John Moneymaker when he got out of law school, because he changed it.  I wish I could remember what he changed his name to so I could look up to see what kind of law he practices.  It was probably a good idea to move away from Moneymaker if he's practicing elder law, for example, but if he's doing personal injury, he might should have kept it.  He could put it on billboards advertising his ambulance chasing, and not have to adopt a nickname like "The Enforcer."

[Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022)]

I took a risk and read some of the comments on youtube, and somebody said he was going to go see it and if it's terrible, he's going to just close his eyes and sit there, because even if he doesn't like it he wants to encourage people to make movies like this.  I'm thinking the same thing--use my ticket as a vote of a sort.

Then somebody pointed out that he doesn't have to stay--they'll have his money even if he leaves.  Which makes it kind of a no-lose proposition.

[TCM: The Greatest Movie Channel]

I watched a couple of the interstitial features on TCM this morning.  There was one about Hedda Hopper that was kind of unwatchable, or unlistenable, because of her granddaughter's gravelly voice and there weren't captions on it.  But it was about Hedda Hopper's strained relationship with Katharine Hepburn (Hopper had strained relationships with many many people), and it included screen shots of a couple of letters they wrote to each other so I was able to read those with the sound muted.

Actually, here's the one Hedda wrote to break the ice (sorry if it's gigantic):

Hepburn answered just as graciously, and her letter looked like a typed draft, with corrections she wrote all over it, which made it seem all the more personal.  She even called out Hopper's politics, but in an inoffensive way, somehow.  It really made me miss the days when people wrote letters to each other, and thought about what they were saying.

Then after that they had one with Tony Curtis talking about Cary Grant.  He said he joined the Navy because of seeing Cary Grant looking through a periscope in Destination Tokyo.  It was one short clip after another, and it made me realize how much I love Cary Grant, and I appreciate him even more after seeing him through Tony Curtis's eyes. 

I've been seeing previews for a new George Clooney/Julia Roberts movie called Ticket to Paradise and I about swoon every time watching these two absolute movie stars working their magic on the screen.  And I got the same feeling watching all those little clips of Cary Grant.  He was such a movie star.

I even laughed out loud during the scene from Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (a movie I discovered only a year or two ago, and that we've discussed here before) they showed, where he's on the phone with the banker or somebody, and Myrna Loy is standing next to him, listening.  Grant goes on and on about how he's not moving in 30 days and he'll do whatever it takes to see that it doesn't happen, etc., etc., and he hangs up and Myrna Loy says, "So?" and he says, "We're moving in 30 days." 

And right after that was a scene I assume from Bringing Up Baby where there's a tiger(?) lying on a chair in a room and Grant comes in and spots it and shrieks and runs out.  I can't resist a man who shrieks. 

Then he's on a train with Eva Marie Saint being unspeakably handsome.  I can't resist a man who's unspeakably handsome. 

[S15.E08: Party Ways]

2 hours ago, kristen111 said:

What do they call them, Career Students?  They prefer going to school than working. 

Someone who gets a bachelor's degree and then gets a DPT in order to be a physical therapist isn't a career student.  She went to the minimum amount of school in order to be able to work in that profession. 

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

When she and Miguel were talking about themselves at the wedding, it sounded to me like she intentionally worked less than full time* because she talked about traveling during her time off - she’d work a few months, take a few months off, etc. Her situation sounded like a choice.

It's not clear, but I agree with you that she works for a while and then takes off for a while as opposed to working part-time year-round.  And that it's a choice she's making.  But I think that circumstances made it easier for her to make that choice, since she wasn't required to make student loan payments and could very well have been getting the generous enhanced unemployment benefits (assuming she'd acquired enough work credits to qualify, although they may have loosened those requirements during Covid, too (like they did to allow gig workers to qualify for unemployment)).  I didn't have the opportunity to get paid not to work, but I'm betting I would have taken the government up on that offer.

I get the feeling she'd been working for about two years before Covid hit, so I'm not sure even she knows what her "regular" approach to work might be.

[Family Ties: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly]

On 8/15/2022 at 6:45 PM, Browncoat said:

I am trying to determine if I am entitled to an Executor's fee, and if so, whether or not I will take it.  There are no easy answers.

Even if it doesn't look like the will needs to be probated, you should consult a probate attorney to make sure you're not overlooking something that might pop up in the future and could be affected if the will wasn't probated. 

Some states have (relatively) cheap and easy probate, and some don't, which can set up a different decision matrix even in the same set of circumstances.

And when your father dies--will there be beneficiaries other than yourself?  You want to protect yourself against them squawking about something you did in administering your mother's estate that affected your father's estate, and therefore them. 

You really should talk to a probate lawyer to get the lay of the land.  And fees paid to a lawyer will be an expense of administering your mother's estate.

As for the amount of any executor's fee, the link another poster provided isn't all that helpful.  It says the executor's commission is, for example, 2%, but it doesn't say what it's 2% of.  The gross estate, including all real property?  Only the personal property in the estate?  Does it include IRAs?  Life insurance? 

It says the executor's fee in Texas is 5%, but the Texas statute says it's 5% "on all amounts that the executor or administrator actually receives or pays out in cash in the administration of the estate" and has some clarification of what that doesn't include.  That's very different from "5% of the estate," which is what that website would lead one to believe. 

[S15.E08: Party Ways]

17 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Lindy needs to calm down about insurance and stop trying to make him look like a bad guy. I think she wanted her PhD to say she has a PhD but wants a man to take care of her financially. I wouldn’t be surprised if she quit her job. 

She doesn't have a PhD.

She has a DPT, which is what she has to have in order to be a physical therapist.

17 hours ago, Retired at last said:

And she made sure that she told Miguel that he cannot be judgmental about when and how often she worked and what she did in her free time. Considering that she does have student loan debt, that seems too irresponsible and self-indulgent to me. If it were me, you bet I would be passing judgment!

Repayments of federal student loans have been paused, and not accruing interest, since March 2020, and the expiration of the pause was just extended to December 31, 2022.  I'm not saying that Lindy has explored all the ins and outs of repaying her loans, but it's more complex than it appears.

And really, with all the uncertainty about whether and how much student loan debt is going to be forgiven, I'd think long and hard before paying any off.  Which is really a shitty position to put student borrowers in:  I'd be pissed if I paid off my student debt like I'm supposed, to, only to find out that if I hadn't, it would have gotten forgiven.  Or if I paid out of pocket for college, only to find out that if I'd borrowed that money instead I wouldn't have to pay it back.  What a mess.

Back to the show--I think what happened is that her student loans were in abeyance, she's not paying for health insurance, she may have been laid off due to Covid and maybe collecting unemployment, so she had a pretty rosy financial picture for a while there without having to work.  Of course it won't last forever, but she's in a high-demand occupation that makes decent money.

4 hours ago, brilliantbreakfast said:

She could get an ACA policy, and if she makes little enough she can get a subsidy for the premium.

At her age, she can get a high-deductible policy for about $300/month, and the premium would be lower if she's making less than about $50,000/year.

6 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

On the other hand, Binh isn’t any better.  He still thinks he was lied to in some way. No one has even said that she lied about needing one course for her BSN. He just didn’t understand how a person becomes a nurse. 

That's what I think happened.  What boggles my mind is how his conclusion that she wasn't actually a nurse didn't get cleared up in the next 30 seconds.  With a question like, say, "Where do you work?" 

Is it possible that he concluded she wasn't a nurse, didn't tell her that's what he concluded and didn't ask her to clarify, and went running off to Justin to tell him about her deception?  Yikes.

3 hours ago, geej said:

But why why did she leave this precious dog, her "furbaby" with HIM???

As if she would ever call him her furbaby.  That would mean acknowledging he's a dog, and the only indication I've seen of her willingness to do that is when she called a veterinarian instead of taking him to the ER.

[S15.E08: Afterparty: The Dog Days Are (Not) Over]

12 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

I hate it when guys sit with their thighs spread way way out like  Justin is sitting.   The two woman are sitting so politely with legs crossed.  I know that’s not appropriate for men, but please close the legs some 

Those women weren't being polite sitting like that; it was their only choice if they wanted to avoid being arrested.

[S19.E07: Week 7]

7 hours ago, ljenkins782 said:

but Gabby struggles with the cheese. And hardly ever did the Bachelor handshake.

Oh, but that one in the very short tight black and white dress was one for the record books.

[House Hunters International - General Discussion]

25 minutes ago, Grrarrggh said:

Why the hell would a realtor show a flat without an oven to someone who bakes at home for a living?! 

Thank you!  Everyone in that episode bugged the shit out of me.

[Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"]

You know my BMW with no driver's side window?  Well, that Mr. Outlier is a genius.  We currently have access to a shop with a bunch of tools so he went to the hardware store and bought a piece of plastic and made a temporary window.

This is a frameless window so he couldn't just tape it along all four sides; it's taped only along the bottom and the left side (as you're looking at it). 

When you close the door from the outside, you push on the door handle and the top right corner of the window simultaneously, to get the window to seat into the groove in the molding along the top of the window opening.

When you get in the car, you close the door from the inside and then use the suction cups to pull down and in on the window to get it to seat into the molding along the top.  

One problem is that the original window is curved.  He got a piece of metal and bent it and taped it to the right side of the window, to act as a camber inducer.  It's obviously not even close to the right shape of curve, but a flat piece of plastic wouldn't have stayed seated in the groove at all, and this at least kind of does.

But not if there's wind coming from the wrong direction, in which case you can hold onto the suction cups to keep the window from flapping wildly. 

Pretty slick, and definitely beats driving around with no window--it's noisy and windy.  And using a towel to try to block incoming rain even after you've checked the forecast before even thinking about going somewhere.  

[S19.E07: Week 7]

12 hours ago, Hpmec said:

And for those who said Tino's mom looks "rough," I agree.  She knew she was going to be on tv. Why not visit the hair salon in advance and put on some makeup?

Maybe she's one of the few women on the planet who accepts how she looks.

[S15.E07: Real Life Reckoning]

14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

In order to call themselves "Physical Therapists" they must have the doctorate, which as you pointed out is not a PhD, but is the highest level of education in PT. 

As I posted upthread, it's possible to get a PhD in physical therapy.  It's what you do if want to go into academia or research, and to be admitted to the program, you have to have either a DPT or a master's degree.

And speaking of that master's degree, requiring a DPT degree to be licensed as a physical therapist is a recent development.  There are lots of licensed physical therapists out there who have a master's degree instead of a DPT, and they're not required to get a DPT in order to stay licensed.

14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Otherwise they are called "Physical Therapy Assistants". 

Physical Therapy Assistant is a different job entirely; it requires only an associate's degree (not even a bachelor's).

Between this and Morgan's nursing degree differentiations, the healthcare field seems to be pretty complex when it comes to who's doing what and what they had to do to get to do it.

7 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

Plus, she has the cutest freckles on the planet.

I know!  I don't know what makes one person's freckles cute and another person's annoying, but she hit the jackpot in the freckle department.  I wonder if she likes them.

[House Hunters - General Discussion]

On 8/19/2022 at 4:26 PM, Bastet said:

I appreciate Ira Glass being, well, vocal about the fact he has vocal fry, too, but the emails NPR get complaining about vocal fry are only about female broadcasters.

He is indeed among the people on NPR who I change the station away from.  I'm guilty of not emailing NPR about him, but I haven't emailed NPR about any of the women, either, many of whom seem to be local reporters. 

And actually, it's not really vocal fry on Glass that bugs me; it's more the syncopated cadence that grates. 

Just like that one HH--she added some flourishes to her vocal fry that sent me over the edge

[S15.E07: Real Life Reckoning]

11 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

If it was thousands a year, sure make some changes but I bet it's not more than $300.  The average electric bill in SD is around $200 (one place said $88) so there's no way the savings is substantial.

He told her that doing laundry before 4:00 p.m. as opposed to after 4:00 would probably save about $2 a month.  Two dollars a month. 

4 hours ago, Kimboweena said:

Did anyone else catch the scene when they were at her place, and she held up the vajayjay, um, sculpture? Really didn't need to see that!

What was that?  It looked like vulva, not a vagina.  Set in a garden for some reason.

She said it's the sculpture she mentioned in her speech, and I'm not sure what speech but I do remember in a previous episode (maybe even in the wedding one) she said that in her bid for body positivity, she'd made a mold of her vagina.  And maybe even identified the friend who helped??

12 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

Lindy doesn't have the right body for the clothes she wears...same for Alexis.

I haven't noticed that about Lindy, but Alexis's clothes are just awful and not the least bit flattering.  She always looks like lumpy sausage in a too-stretchy casing.

And I don't remember who mentioned Lindy's freckles, but I finally noticed them on my shitty TV and they're adorable.

48 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

My understanding is that PT's who hold doctorate degrees receive considerably more $$$ when pursuing their professional goals.

A DPT is now the entry-level education requirement for physical therapists.  The same thing happened with audiologists--they now have to have an AuD degree. 

You can get a PhD in physical therapy, or a PhD in audiology, but those are oriented toward academic scholarship and independent research.  If you want to practice physical therapy or audiology in a clinical setting, you get a DPT or AuD, and while they are "doctorate" degrees, it's really more a function of degree creep.

[House Hunters - General Discussion]

13 hours ago, Grrarrggh said:

If it involves what they're saying, then that's fine. Overuse of "like", "literally" etc deserve to be mentioned and bashed a bit. 

Vocal fry isn't much different from using "like" constantly--it's something people just start doing and often don't realize they're doing it, and could stop doing it if they wanted.

I'll die on the vocal fry hill, because it annoys me in both women and men, to the point where I literally will change the radio station to avoid whichever person on NPR is doing it.

[House Hunters International - General Discussion]

3 hours ago, BAForever said:

Shallow note, she was a bigger woman and obviously liked clothes, accessories, makeup and tats.

She didn't appear to care much for bras.

[House Hunters - General Discussion]

2 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Washington, DC:  I have nothing to add about the vocal fry, or whatever the hell you call it.  Those were some of the most annoying voices I've ever heard. 

Vocal fry usually goes down in tone at the end.  It's part of what makes it so annoying for me--the anxiety waiting for that dive.  But HH Meghan made it worse by adding syllables and going up before going down, or down before going up--I can't remember.

I kept FFing it because all three were so annoying, but then I'd stop and check to see if they were still doing it, kind of like you do with a bad smell that you just can't stop sniffing.

[Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"]

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

the rental, I don't know if I mentioned up thread, was giving me "error" messages about how I hadn't turned off the engine, which, like, what? Of course I did, and about how the battery was "dead" which of course, it isn't. Then yesterday, I get a notification that the front left tire is low on pressure; so I went to the gas station and put in air to the amount it should be; but still that notification was there.

BMW:  The Ultimate Driving Machine.

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I swear, whenever I was at a stop light, I could feel the car "shifting" gears, as if I pulled the clutch and set in first, as the light turned green.

Some modern cars (including BMWs) have a thing where the engine turns off if you're sitting still for a certain amount of time.  Maybe that's what you were feeling.

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

But, alas, I never learned to drive stick (which I forever am lamenting),

I learned to drive in an army jeep with a manual transmission, and am forever grateful.  Thanks, Dad, even if it was embarrassing because you'd painted it orange to match the high school's colors.  I still remember the first time I got behind the wheel of a car with an automatic transmission in Driver's Ed, and I didn't know how to make it go.

That said, I much prefer driving my automatic Subaru to the manual BMW.  The Subaru is so slow that it's super easy to drive--just floor it whenever you take off from a stop and you'll be going an appropriate speed.

[Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"]

2 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

It might need to be painted to match your car’s color, but it’s better than no window or an unusable door. 

The door is fine--there was just that one time that for some reason it wouldn't open.  The reason it wouldn't work now would be because if we just covered the hole with plastic, it would have to be taped to the roof and body of the car because of the frameless window.  With a "regular" window, you could just tape plastic in there around all four sides on the door and the door would work like regular.

We already checked junkyards.  They appear to have some sort of network that tells you what's available nationwide.  That's actually our only option at this point, but the problem with that is many of these cars are garage queens and don't get driven much and therefore don't get wrecked much.   It doesn't sound there's a waiting list for parts, so I guess we'll have to just keep checking periodically, hoping somebody totals his beloved car.

Mr. Outlier found a place in England that makes polycarbonate windows for race cars, and it sounds like they can make one for this car.  It won't be a good permanent solution because the plastic will get scratched as the window goes up and down (unlike glass), but at least it will keep the rain and snow and thieves out. 

In the meantime, he's going to try to fashion a covering for the hole out of a piece of hardware-store plastic, although the actual window has a bend to it that he obviously can't duplicate (which is why the replacement has to be a driver's side window and can't be a passenger side window).  And it will be attached on only two sides if we want to be able to open the door.  Should be interesting.

All of which has made me wonder what the value of the car is now.  I certainly wouldn't pay "normal" price for a car that doesn't have a driver's side window and the only way you can get one is if somebody totals his car and somehow doesn't break the driver's side window and you find out about it and snap it up before somebody else does.

I mean, what are we supposed to do?  Total the car?  That sounds crazy, but it's not particularly usable the way it is now.

[S19.E06: Week 6]

6 hours ago, Andromeda said:

I like the look of Bruges. I want to go there. So adorable!

I highly recommend the movie In Bruges.